Log: Callie and Karolina

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After dropping off her detention essay, Karolina decides to pay a visit to someone who is not mad at her.





Karolina hardly ever felt like she had to hide but today had been almost worse than Sunday night. At least then she'd been able to get away. Now she was grounded until forever, confined to the grounds and had detention every waking moment. She was just leaving the most recent--a ten page paper on respect for others which was just so typically hypocritical that she almost enjoyed doing it. As an exercise in farce. Technically she was supposed to go straight to her room but instead she detoured. She had exactly two friends in this place. She wanted to see them. So she pulled up her hoodie, pulled her sleeves down over her wrists and kept her feet on the ground, hurrying so that no one would see or talk to her, flinching any time anyone came near. Her knock on Callie's door was quick and desperate.

She didn't have long to wait before the door to Callie's room was opened, revealing its now sole occupant. Callie peered down at Karolina, pulling her sweater closer to her body and smiled. She had been in the middle of studying, but the break was more than welcome. Truth be told, after everything that had been happening, Callie was worried about her friend. "Hey. Wanna come in?"

"Yeah." Karolina checked over her shoulder, "I wanted to say thanks. For covering for me the other night. It didn't work but...yeah, thanks."

The door opened wider and Callie stepped aside to allow entry into the space. "Can I ask what happened? I mean you never texted me back...."

"I wasn't really feeling social." She'd been crying into a cup of terrible tea with an indifferent waitress bringing her refills and new tea bags. It had been miserable but worlds better than being in the mansion. "I needed to be away for a while."

There was a nod of understanding. "Kare..." Callie began tentatively after a moment of silence. "We were... we were worried about you."

The blonde girl winced, "I'm sorry, Callie. I wasn't...it wasn't like I was hurt or anything. I just didn't want to be...Kevin was threatening me and everyone was against me and I didn't want to be here anymore, that's all. I didn't mean to scare you or anything. I'd have called if I was in trouble."

"But what if..." Knowing what to say and knowing how to say it were two different things, and there was currently a disjoint between them. Callie knew that the staff, and others, had probably already read the riot act to the runaway, so she was careful in choosing her words. "What if... I don't know. I'm just glad you're okay."

"What if something happened? Like anyone would care except you and Nori. They'd just tell my parents that it was my fault and they'd agree and no one would think that it was this place's fault." Karolina flopped onto Callie's bed and dimmed her glow to something almost undetectable. "I'm so sick of people thinking that because my parents are famous, it makes me, I don't know, incapable of understanding anything."

"People would care. People were worried about you. And we can't be protected from everything that could harm us, but even the little bit that they have here is better than none, you know? They don't want anything bad to happen to any of us. Sometimes it does...." Callie sadly shook her head as she sat herself down on Cessily's bed. "And they don't think that because of who your parents are. I mean I've never heard anyone bring them up. Or read even. It seems that everyone is judging you based on who you are and what you do. How they interact with you."

"You're new, Callie," Karolina explained, "People talk about me behind my back all the time. I'm weird because I'm vegan. There's something wrong with me because I'm a pacifist. I must be spoiled because my parents are popular. Trust me, I used to hear it all the time from the four harpies." For a moment, Karolina's lip trembled, threatening tears then she sucked it up, "I don't care. I don't need them to like me."

Seeing the dimly lit Karolina choke back tears, Callie changed beds, tucking her feet under her as she sat next to her friend. "I know I'm new. And I don't know what happened before I came here, but I can see what's going on now." Her voice was as soothing as she could make it. "The Stepford sisters, well they're them. But listen, there's nothing wrong with being a vegan, or a pacifist. I mean, I know plenty of them both. I don't think you're weird for being vegan. And remember Kyle offered to grill you some mushrooms after... after what happened in New York? They may not totally understand, but they respect that. It's how you act about other things that makes them think what they do about you being spoiled. Not who your parents are. They're not you, and you're not them. You know? Just because you have been granted more privileges in this life than others that doesn't automatically make you spoiled."

"Try telling them that. It's like they think that I should be falling all over myself to apologize for not getting raised in a war zone or having a bad manifestation. Like I never had to worry about my safety before I got here. You know, it sucks that they get grief for being mutants and it's great that for them this place is paradise but god, that's not all of us. Why should I be grateful when people are dying? Forge thinks I'm an idiot. He told the whole school and the only people who said anything agreed with him." Karolina curled over her knees, resting her chin on one. "It's like they don't even care. I feel bad for Jay's family, they have to watch everyone just ignore the problem and pretend nothing is wrong."

"Kare, could it be possibly that they may think that you think you're better than them?" Callie traced the linkages with her finger to make sure she had spoken correctly. Yup. She had. "I know you don't. And I don't say this to be mean. But just from what I see that's what it looks like sometimes. Like I mean people aren't always going to get along. I get that. And I'm not saying they do or don't, because I don't know. I just know what I see and experience. People only can see what you let them see you know? And sometimes you don't always let them see the best part of you. And I didn't reply to that because well, it's not my place. I was just glad you came home you know?" She paused to think for a moment.

"Everyone deals with death in their own ways. I know when my mom died..." Here she paused to take a deep calming breath. "When she died I had to keep moving. Dad decided to move back to Italy and take me along. But he was... he couldn't do it all himself. And the people here keep searching every day for them, and there's not much we can do. Life doesn't stop for the living. Sometimes people cope with trying to get into a routine again. It's not that anyone doesn't care, it's that we're limited in our power."

"Oh Callie," Karolina reached out, curled her fingers over Callie's shoulder. She hadn't meant to make her friend feel bad. "I'm not...I mean...look they already don't like me, right? So why should I make the effort to run around and please them when they're just going to keep on hating me. I've got you and Nori and that new guy Julian seems like he's pretty cool. So I don't care if they hate me."

"I didn't mean you need to be best friends with them. Just, getting along with them would make the next year and a half easier. I'll admit it's not entirely altruistic, because I worry too ya know?" Callie hugged Karolina, something she had wanted to do but felt would be ineffective. "Don't let them dim your light."

Karolina clung gratefully to Callie. "That's all this place does, though," she said in a voice that was thick and wavering, trying harder than ever not to cry and having a harder time than ever succeeding, "I don't want to be like them. I don't want to be content with good enough. Things should be better than good enough."

"For some people your 'good enough' is better. So hold yourself to your better? I mean that's all you can do." Callie gave a squeeze and smiled warmly, an action she hoped was a comforting one. "You don't have to be like everyone else. It would be boring if we were all the same. Right? Just be you. Be Karolina. Because there's only one of you in this world. You're unique and special."

Being Karolina, it seemed, was exactly the problem. But Kare was tired of fighting and she didn't want to alienate one of the very few friends she had here so she took a deep breath and nodded. "Thanks Callie. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"You're welcome, it's what I'm here for. And I for one know that my life would be far more boring." Callie untangled her arms and used them to push herself off her bed. "We should probably get you back, huh? How long are you grounded for?"

She heaved a sigh and floated up off the bed and back to her feet. "I think forever. Plus they're calling my parents and once they hear about this...I'm dead."

"Everything'll be alright Kare. You'll see. And if you ever need to talk, you know where to find me."

"And you know where I'll be. House arrest. Until I'm 80." Karolina shrugged and gave Callie a wave, feeling vastly better than she had when she'd come in. Now if she could just get back to her room without being assaulted, she'd call the day not a complete loss.