xp_logs | Julio and Jane, Friday Afternoon

Julio and Jane get a little crazy, and Nate needs to learn to lock his office door.

"Have you got it?" Jane curled around the doorway to Nathan's office and peered inside. The man was shockingly lax about keeping it locked when he was away from it.

Julio gave Jane a look that said Oh please. He held up a battered cardboard box and gave it a little shake. Their plan was all coming together. A week of mind-numbing spreadsheets, filing, and playing phone tag with a somewhat moronic Columbian left them with the feeling of needing to blow off some steam. What better way to do that then by revenge?

Jane beamed at him and steepled her fingers together in her best Mr. Burns impression. "Exxxxcellent. Should we rig it to go off when he opens the door, or when he sits down?" Did she feel guilty about this? No, she did not. Not after this morning's little chat. And if the holidays were supposed to be a time of forgiveness, well, hopefully Nate would have to be forgiving enough for all of them.

"When he sits down, definitely," Julio said, stealing into the room. He sat the package down on Nate's chair and then pulled it out, peering down to see if there was an outlet they could use.

"Oh! Just so you know, don't open the overhead cabinet." Jane eased open one of the desk drawers, carefully tacked a small, folded piece of white plastic to the inside of it, and slammed it shut again before the plastic could spring open.

"Noted," Julio said, pulling a long string of tinsel garland out of the box and then laying it on top of Nate's Desk. The piece de resitance went on the corner, a seemingly innocent Christmas tree, that Julio positioned just so for maximum efficiency. Plugging it in would be the last thing they would need to do. No need to reveal their location just yet. "How many lights do you think we need?"

"At least four strings, I think." She surveyed the tree with a critical eye. "Yeah, four should do it. Do you have enough? I have another box back at my desk."

"I have four," Julio said, "They all work, I tested them back in my room. Also? I have candy canes." Part of being drafted to decorate the mansion for the last two years running had lead to Julio knowing exactly where he could find the most hideous Christmas crap he could get his hands on,

"Yay!" Jane beamed and started decorating the desk with multi-colored foils. Rachel would probably appreciate the shiny, she figured, and crinkled some sections artistically to better reflect the overhead light.

"Too bad I'm not smart enough to rig all of this to go off when he sits down," Julio said. Forge could possibly be drafted for next year's decoration. Though it might take some bribery and a squirt bottle to keep him on task and within the limits of reality.

"...that would have been the Best. Thing. Ever. Ohmygosh." She swallowed a sugar-fueled squeal although the last word trilled upward alarmingly. It was clearly time to cut back on the Christmas cookies. "I wish Kevin had stuck around to see this. Can't you just see him shaking his head at us?"

Julio coughed, which sounded suspiciously like pussy. He sniffed and ran a hand through his hair, pushing it out of his eyes. He was not fond of the way Kevin had chosen to leave. "He would probably have leaned back against the wall, and tried to make snappy comments, and failed. If you want, I can make some so you do not feel lonely?" He pulled several pieces of tape out of the dispenser to hang some of the candy canes. "Ya'll are so bahd at this. Lahk, mah blind Momma could do bettah. ...'cept she dead," he deadpanned.

Jane snorted indelicately and turned to stick some adhesive hooks up under the edge of the desk. "That's terrible!" she admonished, not even bothering to hide the laughter in her voice. "That was not anywhere near emo enough. For shame, Julio." She ignored the little sting of conscience she felt for picking on a friend who wasn't here to defend himself and instead held up two strings of icicle lights. "Multi-colored or white?"

Julio rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Both," he said with a nod.

Jane snapped the lights into place, plugged them into a power strip, and stepped back. The desk was haloed in a blinding, blinking blaze of light. "Ooh, good call," she said, admiring her handiwork. "So on a scale of regular dead to super, premium dead, how dead do you think we'll be?"

"They'll never find our bodies," Julio said admiringly.

"Fabulous." Jane glanced at the clock on Nate's desk. She wasn't completely positive when he was due back, and it would probably be a good idea to be Elsewhere when he arrived. "Are you about done there?"

"Hold on, one more thing," Julio ducked beneath Nate's desk to plug in the last piece. Julio popped back up and sat himself in Nate's chair, and the sensors on the tree connected, and the tree opened robotic eyes and began to sing "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" in the most annoying way possible. Julio grinned triumphantly and hopped out of the chair, standing next to Jane. "So, we make a break for the next county, yes?"

Jane regarded the now silent tree with mixed horror and glee. "Maybe we should think about Jersey instead. He'll never think to look for us there."

Julio pffted. "Screw Jeresy. I hear Miami is nice this time of year," he hefted the box and cleaned up the last traces of evidence and checked his watch. "He should be back in half an hour. Shall we run?" he grinned mischievously.

Jane marched over to the door and held it open. "Let's."