Log: Yvette and Laurie

[x-wallflower-.livejournal.com]

[Set for afternoon Saturday 27th December]

Yvette comes by with some tea for her former room-mate and the two talk about stubbornness and forgiveness.



Laurie rolled over, being careful not to jostle the IV in her hand too much. Due to the fun that was her throat currently, it was simpler just to leave the IV in and give her anti-biotics through that then make her swallow medication. It made her feel stupid though, that she'd left things for such a long time that it came to this. That and the fact that the coughing and general feeling of malaise made it hard to sleep and she was feeling about as sorry for herself as you could get.

She plumped up her pillow and tried to settle in a spot that would make it easier to breath without starting off another round of coughing.

There was a soft knock at the door, followed by the knob turning and Yvette's head poking around the door. "Laurie?" she called softly. "Are you being awake? I have the tea for you, if you would like some?"

Laurie nodded and gestured for Yvette to come in as she levered herself up higher on her bed, pushing the sheets till the sat comfortably around her middle.

"Thank you." she rasped softly, her voice no louder then a whisper.

Carrying a steaming mug, Yvette came in. Her eyes narrowed a little as she took in just how pale Laurie was, and the IV still in her arm. "You are looking terrible," she said with a small smile as she placed the mug within reach. "Did Dr. Jean have to be tying you to the bed?"

Laurie's smile was a little strained at the reminder of Jean's talk while she'd been checking her over. It had not been pleasant, and she'd been left with no illusions that a Medlab helper, let alone someone studying to be a doctor could be allowed to let themselves deteriorate in such a fashion again. She slowly shook her head as she took the mug and blew on the tea, she would need to let it cool a bit before she could drink it but the comfort of holding it was nice.

"No." she said, and then had to place her mug down as another coughing fit shook her, it was several moments before she got it under control and she lay back against her pillows, sweating.

"Morgan." she said finally, barely a croak. "She set Morgan on me. Hasn't let me get out of bed since. They wouldn't even give me my laptop."

"Good. You are needing the rest." And, Yvette thought privately, it was better if Laurie didn't have the chance to respond to Kyle's posts any more. "You have been listening to the doctors, yes? And letting Miss Morgan to be taking care of you?"

Laurie searched around for the whiteboard and marker they'd given her, the coughing fit had reminded her of Jean's decree that she not talk till her throat had healed. It would appear that the good Doctor had not been just talking for the sake of it.

She finally found it buried under the tissue box and small heap of medical books on her bedside table.

'I don't have much choice in the matter.' she wrote and then turned it toward Yvette. It sounded slightly bitter, even to herself. But she hated this, and not being able to get out of bed and walk around just made it worse.

Morgan had caught her several times trying to make herself a cup of tea, or exit the suite and had sent her back to bed. It was infuriating, especially since every time she tried to yell, she'd end up coughing and weak.

"It is, how you say? Being your own fault," Yvette replied, although more gently than she might have. "You are the stubborn person, Laurie, even when it is not being good for you or for the other people."

Laurie snorted somewhat indelicately and then wiped the board clean, writing again. 'So I've been told. Doug was here earlier, I'm not allowed back at my Dojo till I've got a note from Dr. Samson and from Jean.'

"Perhaps the next time you will be taking the better care of yourself. You cannot be looking after the other people if you are being too sick." It was said with a gentle smile. "And you cannot be becoming the X-Man if you are needing to be kept in the bed."

'If Scott and Ororo ever let me become an X-man, it'll probably snow in summer.' Laurie wrote, a bitter smile evident as she turned the board for Yvette to read.

"You are still the trainee, yes? If they did not want you to be an X-Man ever, they would be telling you there is not the point of being a trainee," Yvette pointed out reasonably. "For the person who is being smart and thinking she is knowing the things, sometimes you are not thinking, Laurie."

'You're making it hard to get up a good 'feeling sorry for myself', you know' Laurie wrote, grinning suddenly as Yvette's point sunk in.

She was being a little silly, Scott wasn't the type of person to simply let her keep on at something if he truly thought she wasn't suited for it. Even if she did want to be angry at him for how long it was taking. She supposed ignoring an illness until it turned to pneumonia wasn't exactly proving her ability to be trusted as a full X-man.

She dropped back with a sigh, watching the ceiling for a moment before she wiped off her white board and started writing again.

'I keep screwing up, I hate that.' she wrote.

"You do not learn," Yvette pointed out. "You say that you want to be the better person, but you are still doing the same things. Like making the comments to Kyle in his journal. I thought you were not going to be making him angry any more, yes?"

'I wasn't trying to make him angry'. Laurie wrote, trying to sit up more on the bed.

It felt unfair, really unfair to be told that. It wasn't like she went out of her way to make the same mistakes, she was trying. She rubbed out what she'd written and started writing again.

'It's not as easy as just saying I'm going to change. It doesn't work like that.' she wrote down.

"Do you remember, when I wanted to apologise for hurting you, what you said?" Yvette asked, standing her ground. Somehow it was easier to talk to Laurie when she couldn't verbally reply. "You were saying that I did not get to make the decision of when to be fixing things. So why are you not letting Kyle do the same?"

It was much easier to make angry responses when you didn't have to take the time to write them out, Laurie thought. She gave Yvette a slightly frustrated look and then shrugged her shoulders.

'He's never going to forgive me. I thought it would be better just to forget about it.' Laurie wrote.

"Did you ask him to?" was Yvette's simple reply. "Have you told him that you are sorry?"

'Yes. He didn't want to hear it. Said something about how I didn't get to choose when we talked, and how I only had one chance before he blocked my e-mail again. I figured it was better just not to say anything then make it worse'. Laurie wrote, the slight squeak of the white board pen giving voice to her frustration.

"Laurie." Yvette closed her eyes and counted to ten, before speaking again. "That was being your chance to say you were sorry. The email he said to be sending. Just as you were telling me you would let me know when you were wanting to talk to me."

'What if I do it wrong? I only get one chance.' Laurie wrote, giving voice to the fear that had been riding her for awhile now.

"The you will not lose anything you are not losing already - Kyle will not be forgiving you if you do not try to be saying you are sorry." Yvette said it simply, not letting Laurie back down. "Are you being sorry?"

'Of course I am.' Laurie wrote, brushing her hair back behind her ear before continuing to write. 'I didn't mean what I said. I was just angry at him, and hurt. I'm not just trying to say sorry because it's easier or something.'

"Then that is what you should say." Yvette clasped her long hands on her lap. "That you are sorry for hurting him."

'When they let me out of bed?' Laurie wrote, a wry grin evident. 'I wouldn't want to upset Morgan or Jean anymore. I have a feeling they'd have someone sit on me next.'

"Or you could be writing it on the note and I can be giving it to him, yes?" came the slightly mischievous reply. "Except perhaps you should not be lifting the pen, since you are being so weak and, how you say, wussy?"

Laurie gave her a look, and then started to chuckle, only for it to turn into a cough that lasted several seconds before she got it under control.

'I'll think about it.' she wrote, trying to keep her breathing steady. 'I want to write it out a few times first. So, you never answered me when I asked you about the team, you know. About whether you were going to join or not.'

Yvette nodded at Laurie's first part, her eyes glowing brightly. Then at the second question they dimmed a little. "Yes," she said at last. "I am tired of the bad things happening. Like what happened to Jay and Miss Dani and Mr. Kane."

Laurie couldn't say she was that surprised, as Yvette had always been the type of person who felt strongly about helping others. There was a part of her that worried for her friend, but the days when she would have protected Yvette were past. She'd made an obvious effort to not be overly protective, and the fact that she and the others had survived New York mostly unscathed spoke of a person who was mature enough to take care of herself.

'Have you talked to Scott and Ororo?' she wrote.

"Not yet," she replied. "I am only sixteen, and I cannot be the trainee until my birthday in August. And I will have to be asking my mother, also." She gave Laurie a wry grin. "That will not be the easy talk, no."

'You'll do fine. Just have to use the voice you use with me when I'm being overly stubborn.' Laurie wrote with a grin. 'And let her know how important it is to you. She'll understand, even if she's scared. My Mom did.'

"I am hoping so. This is the person who was so worried about me being hurt that she is locking me in the apartment," Yvette replied, but with real humour, not the bitterness that she might have had once. "But I will be trying. I think it is the important thing."

'It is.' Laurie wrote carefully, smiling at her friend. It had been to her as well, despite what she now knew of how much Scott wished that they didn't go down this path. She could wish that none of them, not even their elders, had to face the choice but sometimes it was better to fight for what you wanted, rather then stand back and watch.