log: amara and scott

[x-volcanic.livejournal.com]

Amara finally does something she's been thinking of doing since November - she goes to talk to Scott about joining the X-Men.

Part of Amara's reasoning for returning to the mansion was because she wanted to do more to help, and it was just about time she started thinking a little harder about that. One of the options with that was, of course, joining the X-Men. She wasn't entirely sure about that though - not that she didn't want to, or didn't appreciate the work that they did, she just wasn't sure how suited she was to the team. But rather than continuing to think about it and not actually do anything, she should just talk about it. Which is why she'd hunted down Scott. Talking to him about it would certainly help towards deciding either way.

"Ow!" she heard as she reached the open door of Scott's office. He popped out from under his desk, rubbing the back of his head and grimacing. "Damn it - oh, hey, Amara. Sorry, dropped this-" He tossed a flash drive onto the desk and glared at it. "Apparently it's been too long since I concussed myself."

"Hey," she said with a smile and a bit of a laugh. "They're tricky little things, those. I couldn't even tell you how often I've lost one, which is terribly frustrating when you've got papers saved on them." Amara had set up all kinds of back-ups for them now, just in
case.

"I'm terrible with them. I'm always buying them," Scott confessed, a twinkle in his real eye. "Then I stash them here and there, and forget what I have on which... anyhow. I somehow doubt you came to hear me ramble on about my weird fixations." He gestured her to a chair. "What
can I do for you?"

She chuckled at that. "They're certainly not as convinent as you'd think, that's for sure." She smiled and took a seat, suddenly nervous. "It's... well." For all her thinking about this, she was suddenly lost for words. "I've been thinking about doing more around here, getting
involved more, and so of course I've been thinking about joining the X-Men." She took a deep breath, finally looking up at him properly. "I thought it'd be best if I talked to you about it, rather than just keep going over it in my head."

...huh, Scott thought. "Well," he said after a moment, thoughtfully. "You're of age, which simplifies things - and in good physical shape, which is important, too. Can I ask what got you thinking about it?" he ventured, honestly curious. "Is it something you've had in mind for a while, or...?" It was certainly the first he'd heard of it.

"It was actually after what happened in New York," she said with a little bit of a sheepish smile. "I was at college when it happened, and while I did what I could to help people while things were going on... I just couldn't help but think there was more that I could have
done to help everyone." She smiled a little briefly. "More than just reassuring them that someone else was doing everything they could."

"Wanting to be able to do more is very commendable," Scott said, and there was something about his quiet tone that made it clear that it wasn't just a platitude. That he meant it. "You have to ask yourself if this is the right method for you, though. You saw some of the reactions on the journals, after the fact, right? To what the X-Men did? Jay taking exception to what he saw as excessive force, vice versa with Amanda and Pete..."

Amara nodded at that, looking serious. "I remember that," she said slowly. "I don't know what I'm capable of doing," she said, deciding to be completely honest. "When my powers first manifested, I accidentally killed people I cared about. And it took me a long time to come to terms with that. But at the same time... I was able to help stop a very evil person from continuing to prey on my home. So I do understand that sometimes... you have to do things you wouldn't otherwise in order to protect people."

"Mm." It wasn't a bad answer, to a complicated question. "The first thing you'd have to do is a lot of reading," Scott said. "You don't really know what we do, not completely. If I give you access to the mission files, the training database, you can get a better sense of whether this is actually for you or not. And I'll need you to talk to the Professor, too."

"Oh, I don't mind reading," she said with a suddenly bright smile. Reading was, in fact, one of Amara's chief delights in life. "So I can do that. I do have some reading for my classes I need to do as well, but I will set aside time to do this reading as well." Amara took her
education very seriously, and she'd certainly apply that same seriousness to her training with the X-Men. "And of course, I understand that. Thank you."

Scott smiled a little, then shrugged. "I like to think it's fairly interesting stuff, but then, I'm biased... and just so you know, I'm not sending you to Charles to talk you out of this. He's just... well, he's got some good insight into the personal costs of doing this job." Scott's voice was reflective as he went on. "He's certainly helped enough of us put ourselves back together before."

Amara looked a little mischievious for a moment. "I read some very boring things when I ran out of books at home, I am sure this will be quite interesting in comparison." She nodded at his comment about Xavier. "He is a very great man," she said softly. "What he's... what you've all built here. It is truly astonishing."

"...you know, that's pretty much the first time I've ever heard someone say that," Scott said. "I mean, don't get me wrong, it's nice to hear. But we're a lot more used to hearing about failures and problems and what we should or shouldn't be doing."

"And yet despite everything, you're still here and things are still running. Isn't there a saying about 'if you're not getting complaints, you're not doing things right?'" Amara's grasp on cliches and collequisms isn't quite as good as she'd like it to be, but she tries. "I think people like to complain more than they like to compliment. But that doesn't mean you're not doing a good job."

She got an actual grin at that, if a wry one. "Oh, don't get me wrong - I don't need constant reassurance, Amara. Trust me, if I did, I wouldn't last long in a position of responsibility around here. I'm just marveling at the fresh perspective, I suppose."

"It's still nice to hear it, I imagine." She grinned back. "I know my father always appreciated it, even if it was from his admittedly biased daughter." She smiled a little fondly. "Thank you for your time, Scott. I should probably let you go, let you get back to your recalcitrant flash drive."

"Hold on a second-" Scott turned to his open laptop, calling up the database and sending temporary login information to Amara's Institute email. "There," he said. "You've got free run of pretty much everything. Obviously, just let Ororo or I know if you have any questions while you're reading."

"I will, thank you." She smiled, pushing herself up out of her seat. "I really appreciate this opportunity, Scott. Thank you." She had probably said thank you enough, really. But she was really grateful for the opportunity, and she was looking forward to working towards it. She nodded to Scott and took her leave. She'd probably head straight back to her room to get a start on this, to be honest.