Lil and Jean-Paul

[x-cynosure.livejournal.com]

Lil and Jean-Paul discuss parenthood. Jean-Paul manages to hit a nerve with Lil.



With the end of classes, Lil had taken to the outdoors to avoid the scrambling runts. A jacketless stroll around the mansion, while unseal for her, hadn't been a terrible waste of time. She was still fascinated by the grounds and everything Xavier's boasted and the walk had given her plenty of time to think. About what had gone and come and was yet to be... Sucking on her cigarette, the blonde woman shook her head and silently scolded herself for where her mind had drifted as she approached the front walk then stopped short when she spied a familiar frame headed towards her. "You need some help?"

Jean-Paul managed to keep his tone casual. "No, I have it." His burdens weren't heavy at all -- just a couple of of shopping bags from the local arts-and-crafts place -- and he suspected that the offer of help was more for curiosity's sake than any sense that he was in distress. "Where are you off to?"

Lil gave him a one-shouldered shrug. "No where. Just wandering around. Getting lost in thought which is a hell of a lot scarier place than I'd thought it would be," she chuckled then nodded to the bags. "You sure? I got hands if you need them."

"So have I. Wondrous coincidence, non, both of us being carbon-based bipeds with opposable thumbs? It's a wonder we can keep our hands off of each other." Jean-Paul gave Lil an easy glance as he headed up the walk. "Myself, I am starving. If you have no place else to go, you can follow me to the kitchen and give me a hand there."

"Well someone took his witty pill this morning," Lil replied as she put out her cigarette out in the center of her palm then tucked it back into the pack for later then started to follow him. Food was always a way to get and keep her attention. "Since you asked so nicely. That what you got in the bags? Groceries?" It didn't look like it but the Amazon wasn't going to push if it meant she wasn't going to get fed.

"Tsk." The speedster smirked. "I have no need for doping. This is all natural talent." He set the bags aside as they reached the kitchen and began contemplating the fridge. "Can you chop parsley? I have a tendency to turn it into a thin, green goo if I'm not in the mood to be patient."

"Yeah, sure," she said waving a hand absently then began to snoop through the discarded bags. "Don't need to worry about cutting off any fingers or anything... especially if I'm only armed with a unicorn stencil." Lil's eyebrows lifted and she turned to face her countryman. "This for the anti-valentine day fort you built with Shiro? Quite the interior decorating choice."

Jean-Paul gave her a Look when he saw what Lil was holding up. "We went out for pizza, that is all. And that's not for me, it's for Nathan." That really wasn't going to clarify things, was it? "We're redecorating Rachel's bedroom. I don't agree with the princess motif, but it's going to be done, so I'm going to see that it's done properly." He pointed a carrot at the heraldic unicorn in Lil's hands. "Proper mythology, not horses with horns."

"Uh huh," the blonde said with a little chuckle. "Well, every little girl deserves to be treated like a princess, even if it's some lame non-fantasy type princess without the glitter and rainbows. Kinda defeats the point if you ask me."

"Everyone does glitter and rainbows. She'll get to be unique." Jean-Paul contemplated Lil a moment before fetching knives and a cutting board. "Thoughts for the future?"

"About puffy dresses and magic wands? No." Lil shook her head as she ran her fingers over the stencil, following the lines of the cut out. "I was a princess to my father when I was little. Especially after my mother died. Future's got nothing to do with unless we decide to break into Manuel's suite and paint it pink from floor to ceiling for Val."

Jean-Paul chuckled under his breath. "I am trying to picture this and failing. My mind refuses to even make the attempt." He pushed the cutting board and parsley in Lil's direction. "What do you think of a ridiculously calorie-laden potato soup? We seem to have all of the ingredients."

"What? Breaking into Manuel's room? We could totally do it." She had confidence in that. Putting the stencil in the bag, Lil picked up a knife and began chopping. "And I think potato soup sounds fantastic. Especially with bacon. Calories don't mean a damn thing to me, monsieur."

"You as a princess. Innocent young Lillian making the boys on the playground eat dirt? Absolument. The glitter and rainbows and tiaras? Mental gridlock." Jean-Paul turned on the oven and tossed a few potatoes in to bake. "I didn't know about your mother. I am sorry to hear it."

She snorted her amusement. "I was my Daddy's princess. Didn't mean I couldn't make boys or other girls eat dirt. Or other things. As for Momma," her shoulder rose and fell absently. "Did my stint on the couch with the shrink. Manifested a month before she died of breast cancer so of course, I thought it was all my fault; that I stole her strength or something and made her weaker but Daddy made sure I got my head straightened out." The blonde continued to chop up the parsley as she spoke to Jean-Paul, something softer shining through her hard exterior. "Ain't any different story than half the people here. We all got family issues, yeah?"

"I think most of us could write a book on the topic. Perhaps a trilogy." He took the opportunity to tuck the bags back out of sight before anyone else could investigate. At least she hadn't seen the rabbits. "I don't think my father had a particularly easy time civilizing me either. Sometimes I wonder why anyone would put themselves through parenthood. It seems to bring out the worst in people. Most people," he amended.

"That why you never became a parent?" Lil asked, lifting her head to peer at him through a lock of golden hair that had fallen in her eyes. "Obvious lack of 'partner with a uterus' aside, I mean."

"If I require the services of uterus, I'll rent one," the speedster deadpanned. "Or just buy -- pardon, adopt -- a pre-fab." He frowned as he started chopping up an onion. "Even putting aside my emotional fitness as a parent, I think it would be selfish of me to become a father."

Pointing the knife at him, the blonde's eyes narrowed. "Don't ever look at me again while those words are spilling outta your mouth, Speedy, or you're gonna find yourself minus a tongue. I ain't interested in taking on any tenants."

"As if I would entrust the life of my future offspring to an incubator with only one escape route. If anything went wrong, I think a Cesarean would be problematic, at best. Consider yourself off of the hook." Jean-Paul grinned. "And if you stab me, you'll go hungry."

Lil did not smile back. Cold eyes fixed on the man before she slammed the knife onto the counter and took a step closer to Jean-Paul. "You think that's funny?" Her voice was surprisingly steady but inside the blonde's stomach clenched hard.

The grin snapped out of existence. "Apparently I am the only one."

"Apparently," she growled, hands curled into two tight fists.

"You've given the idea of being a mother enough thought that the potential complications occurred to you." It wasn't a question. Jean-Paul put his own knife aside and leaned against the table.

"And your point would be? That it's a fucking bad idea? No shit. You wanna bring up the other 'potential complications' to amuse yourself?" Lil asked, standing her ground and towering over him.

"I wasn't aware that we were having a serious discussion." Jean-Paul didn't seem particularly intimidated by the woman looming above him, though he did have to look up to reply. "Nonetheless, I apologize for hitting a nerve."

She glared at him for a long moment before cursing and turning, slammed a fist onto the counter top hard enough to make the cutting board and ingredients jump. "Doesn't fucking matter anyway," the Amazon spat then leaned heavily against the refrigerator with her eyes focused on her feet. "'Cause like you said, the potential complications have occurred to me and there's not really a damn thing that can be done about it. If I wanted to do anything about it," Lil added quickly.

"There are other options." Jean-Paul's tone had gentled somewhat. "But, as you say, it's unlikely you'd want to do anything about it right now. This isn't the ideal environment for a baby." And there was Madison, but Lil was hardly in the best of moods as it was.

"No, there aren't and I'm not talking just right now." She beat the tip of her toe against the floor, kicking at an invisible spot.

"Surrogacy is out of the question?" It occurred to him that he probably should just let the subject drop.

Lil's eyes lifted slowly. "If my eggs carry the same bio-aura as the rest of me, yeah, pretty much. And I ain't raising anyone else's brat, either," she amended.

"You haven't tested to see?" He could think of a few reasons that it would be better not to know, but he had a hard time applying them to Lil.

She gave a little shrug and shake of her head. "No. We didn't get that far after Maddy talked me into trying to start a family. We weren't officially part of the Flight Program anymore or Department H which meant it woulda been expensive so we wanted to see if it would just... happen. But then he went back to playing with the BoxBot so I put the breaks on it because I wasn't gonna get stuck raising a kid alone."

Probably the best possible outcome for the potential children, all things considered. Jean-Paul was not feeling hurtful enough to say so out loud, especially given that there seemed to be exactly zero chance of the two trying for parenthood again any time soon. Perhaps ever.

"Even if Madison doesn't come to his senses, perhaps you should find out just for yourself. That's not a small thing to wonder about. Or so says the one in the room who doesn't have a uterus."

"Yeah because Bishop finding out I'm having fertility tests done is exactly what I need right now." Lil knew things got around the mansion faster than the speedster could. "No thanks. I can wait until the issue becomes more pressing." She shifted once and crossed her arms. "So, what's your excuse? We're sharing and all - it's only fair. What's so selfish about you going to Rent-A-Womb or picking up a stray?"

"I have a decent backlog of super-powered people who are not terribly fond of me from my days in Alpha Flight. Probably not much to speak of compared to some others here, but..." He shrugged and went back to the onions. "I've had a boyfriend taken hostage before, because of his connection to me. No use in exposing someone younger to that kind of risk."

"Makes sense," was all she found she could say. Biting her lower lip, Lil heaved another sigh. "God this conversation sucks. Screw the soup; I need chocolate and lots of it preferably with alcohol involved somehow."