xp_logs | Monet and Kurt, Sunday morning

It's all going nicely... and then Kurt brings up something that's been worrying him and makes Monet cry.

Kurt was the first to wake up, light sleeper that he'd always been, and pushed himself up slightly in the bed with the arm that wasn't pinned under Monet. He was frowning slightly as he studied her, part from a mild hangover, but partly... he'd been noticing things, lately. Just odd little things, but enough to add up to real concern for her.
Monet woke more slowly, gradually waking up curled against Kurt.
He smiled down at her when she woke fully, pushing the worry aside for a moment, and leaned down to kiss her lightly. "Good morning."
She rolled over slightly and smiled back at him. "Morning..."
"And how are you today?" His arm curled around her, and his tail settled comfortably at her waist.
"Oh, you know, not bad..." She curled into him a little. "You?"
"Also not bad." Kurt looked down at her, not moving away, and his smile faded just a little. "But there is something I would ask you about."
"What is it?" She didn't much like the sound of this and it was hard to resist the temptation to start actively eavesdropping on his thoughts in order to get the answer right now.
"There are things I have noticed", he said carefully. "You dropped your wine glass last night, and sometimes you have seemed... unsteady. I have been a little worried."

"Um." Monet sat up and turned away from him slightly. "Look, I cleaned up the broken glass. And you know I'm not supposed to use the actual glass glasses."

"I do not care about the glass", he said patiently. "It was cheap and easily replaced. It is your health I am worried about... so are you well?"

"Jesus Christ, Kurt. I'm no less well than I have been since Marius mindwormed me. It's not some new thing."

"I know you have not got worse." He hadn't looked away from her, even if she wouldn't look at him. "That, I would have noticed already. But some things have not got better."

"No, it hasn't." Monet's voice was very soft. "It might. Maybe. I don't know."

"I did not want to upset you with asking", Kurt said quietly. "But you know I care for you. I was worried... I am worried."

"You're worried? How do you think I fucking feel?"

"At a guess? Very frightened." He reached out to her tentatively, laying a hand on her back. "I have been helpless before."

She shook his hand off and stood up, arms wrapped around her stomach. "I'm not helpless. I'm not fucking helpless. Don't you dare suggest that I am."

"Not against most things." He sat up in the bed but didn't try to follow her further. "I would never say that. But against such a thing as this..."

"I've still got physio. I'm still on the team. I'm pretty much back to where I was." She didn't say the rest of it, the 'I'll be better soon' that followed each physio session.

Kurt nodded, whether she could see him or not. "You are certainly much better than at first."

"Yeah. See?"

"Yes." He looked down, finally. "Perhaps I should have said nothing. Will you come back here?"

"You're right. You shouldn't have said anything." Monet grabbed her pants, struggling into them and her shirt.

"Monet." He slid easily to the edge of the bed and stood. "I did not mean it like this."

Shirt on, Monet fumbled with the buttons on the fly of her jeans. "Yeah, but." She leaned against the wall and scrubbed her hands through her hair. "I don't know if it's going to get better. I don't want this."

Kurt walked to her and pressed his hands to the wall on either side of her head - only lightly, not to trap her, but so that she would have to make the effort of pushing him to get away. "You do not want to be in this situation, or you no longer want what is between us?"

"What? What?" Every so often, talking with Kurt was like running two different conversations against each other and seeing what stuck at the end. "No, I fucking like you." Monet gave a wave of one hand. "I don't want this." She pushed him aside gently and mumbled "What if this is as good as I'm going to get?"

"If it is", Kurt told her gently, "and you are certain of it, then all that will remain is to come to terms. And as long as you want me here, then I will be here to help in any way I can."

"I don't want to come to terms. I want it fucking gone. That's it." She rubbed at her eyes, wiping away tears. "Look, I'll see you later, okay?"

"As you wish." He touched her face briefly, then let his hand drop. "I will be here."

She nodded, not trusting herself to speak, and hurried out the door.