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"Bloody fucking hell." Angelo looked up at the voice - unmistakeably Amanda's - and saw the witch standing in the doorway of his medlab cubicle, shivering. "Next time I decide t' go all melodramatic an' stomp off for a sulk, remind me that it's fucking freezing out there?"
Angelo blinked at her. "...Sure..." He gestured at the chair nearest to the bed. "Come on in, it's a bit warmer in here at least."
"Bloody snow," she muttered, taking his advice and coming in. She curled into the chair, trying to get warm by pulling her legs up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. "Bloody place." She looked up at him. "So when was all this my fault?"
Angelo looked back, confused. "When was all what your fault?"
"All this shite about attackin' the teachers an' not appreciatin' the place an' all that. I've got people jumpin' down me throat everywhere, an' I don't even know why. All I said was I didn't want people puttin' guns in my face. Perfectly reasonable request, I would have thought."
Angelo sighed. "Everybody's stressed out. Don't think they were attackin' you personally."
"Felt like it," Amanda muttered sulkily. Then she sighed. "Maybe not - I can't tell. There's all these words an' people are making arguments an' I'm sittin' here tryin' to follow only I'm getting the gist since..." She blushed a little. "I don't read too good. An' the only reason anyone can read me own journal is because of that spell-check thingie."
Angelo nodded. "You told any of the teachers that? They'd help, you know."
"I'm in remedial everythin', an' gettin' extra tutoring besides. They just tell me it'll take time." A thought occurred to her. "I know a spell that could help..." Then her face fell. "Only Pete would consider it cheatin'. An' the knowledge won't stick. But yeah, I'm tryin' to follow what's goin' on and gettin' into a horrible muddle. People keep sayin' if you don't like it go back t' where yer came from, an' if that's the way they feel, then fine. But I can't exactly get there under me own steam, can I? There's a big fucking ocean in th' way."
"Who said that?" Angelo asked angrily. "You tell me and I'll talk to them - some of us who lived in this country can't go home, either..."
"'S mainly that fuckwit of a groundskeeper, but that woman - Alison? I haven't met her yet - she seems t' be sayin' that if you can't be bothered doin' anything but complainin' you should leave. I could have read that wrong." Amanda's shoulders slumped. "Is it always like this? With all the arguin'? I think I'd rather have the whole 'if you don't like what someone says, smack them in the ear' thing we had on the streets. Least I could keep up that way."
"The arguin' does happen", Angelo told her honestly. "An' I think I can understand it, 'specially after somethin' like what just happened. But Ali's not usually one for the personal attacks - you sure she was gettin' at you?"
Amanda shrugged. "Like I said, I dunno. She said somethin' about people whinin' an' not helpin' an' that I should've asked about security stuff, an' some other stuff about people treatin' this place like a jail. Might not have been aimed at me, but it was replyin' to somethin' I said, so maybe it was."
Angelo shrugged. "Not for me to say. You okay, other than that stuff?"
"I s'pose. Everythin's happened so fast, me head's spinnin' sometimes. I mean, I've only been here three weeks, an' look at all that's happened." Amanda gave him a frankly pitiful look. "Is this what it's always like?"
Angelo reached out to squeeze her hand gently. "Depends how you mean. It's always confusin', but I think you were just unlucky as far as the things happenin' go."
Amanda jerked slightly, startled by the touch, and then realised it wasn't a come on. It was something she was still getting used to, people touching her in ways that weren't either violent or lustful. "Yeah, I s'pose I was. What about you? What was yer first couple of weeks like?"
Angelo paused, letting go of her hand when she flinched, then answered. "Confusin' as hell. So many new people I had t'meet. An' I was still recoverin' from LA..."
Amanda nodded. "The f... thing with yer old gang?" She avoided saying the word 'fire', remembering what she'd read on the system about Angelo having nightmares.
"Yeah", he answered flatly. "The thing I told you about. Kinda knocks you back when the people you trust most turn on you in a second flat."
"'S why it's better not t' trust people in the first place - they can't stitch you up that way," Amanda replied matter-of-factly.
Angelo looked at her. "Maybe you're right. Lonely way to live, though."
"After the last few weeks, I'm startin' t' think I prefer lonely," she said, a trace of bitterness touching her voice. "I go soft, trustin' people an' tryin' t' help an' do what they want me to, an' I get nothing but grief for it." She said the words without anger, but with regret.
Angelo nodded. "Yeah, I know what you mean. Let myself go soft since I've been here, too. Comes from bein' told you're gonna be safe", he finished with a hint of bitterness in his own voice.
"Yeah, well, I think we were entitled t' think we were safe. This is a bleedin' school, ain't it?" Amanda began fishing in her pockets for cigarettes before remembering where she was. "Hey, the doc around? I'm dyin' for a fag."
Angelo glanced through the panel of glass in the door, and seeing no blue fur in sight, shook his head. "Can't see him. Could I snag one? 'S been too long." He sighed, before continuing, "Thing is, I'd probably've made the same choice even if they had said somethin'. But I wish they'd let me make that choice with all the facts in front of me, 'fore I came here and... got attached."
With a small, wry grin quirking the corner of her mouth upward, Amanda offered him the pack, lighting hers, and then his, with her fire spell. "Yeah, I kind of noticed the attachment. An' when are you two goin' to stop fuckin' around an’ well, fuck around? Paige is tryin' not t' show it, but she's not happy with the whole thing. It's all the same t' me, but you two are all right an' I can't see the point in all the denial."
Angelo frowned. "There's no denial. Tried that, it didn't work. So I told her, and she told me, and we kinda got together, and now she's not happy. There's complications."
"What, the grumpy bastard in the basement?" Amanda said, grinning.
"Yeah", Angelo answered simply, with a wry grin in return. "She's kinda with him too. Think it's gettin' to her..." He trailed off, grin fading.
"So, what, you an' Jono hate each other that much?"
Angelo shook his head. "Don't hate him. Not since we all got taken to Mexico to try an' work things out. We're not each other's favorite person, but I don't hate him, and I don't think he hates me."
"Yer all nuts," Amanda said, shaking her head and exhaling smoke. "'S much simpler if you leave that love shite out of it."
That brought the wry grin back. "Where were you four months ago? 'S a bit late for that advice now."
"Four months ago I was dodgin' the filth an' tryin' t' find enough places t' sleep that weren't in th' rain," Amanda replied, wryly. "Could've done with this place then, only Rom hadn't tracked me down yet."
Angelo nodded. "Yeah, that was me six or seven months ago. This place was a relief, which is why I'd've probably made the same choice even knowin' what I do now."
"I got t' say, yer right. An' for all me dramatics, I ain't about to go back, not 'less they tell me to. The streets... there ain't no future in that, as well you know. An' the longer yer there, th' harder it is t' leave."
Another nod. "Yeah, I know. Lucky for us Scott an' Romany got us out, isn't it?"
"Too bloody right, mate." Amanda looked across at Angelo and smiled. "Y'know, when I came down here I was ready t' throw the towel in an' go tell Pete I wanted out. That or just take off an' see where I ended up. Now I don't want to - how'd yer do that?"
"'Cause I seem to talk myself or get talked outta doin' the same thing more often than I'd like?" he suggested honestly. "'Specially these last few days..."
"It's not easy, this whole trustin' people business, is it?" she asked quietly, tapping her ashes into a discarded plastic cup on the bedside table.
Angelo reached over to add the ash from his cigarette to hers. "No, it really isn't. Not sure I trust the faculty the way I did, now."
"Not sure I ever did. Well, 'cept for Pete." Amanda pulled a face. "An' that worked out just brilliant. But... there's some people here I would like t' have watching me back."
"Yeah?" Angelo asked, curious. "Who's that?"
Amanda shrugged. "If I got t' tell you, yer dumber than you look," she said with a grin. "Or you think I get me kit off for anyone?"
Angelo grinned back. "Thought so. Wasn't gonna assume, though." Growing more serious, he added, "And I'm right there, anytime you need me. There aren't many I'd tell my stories - too many innocents in this place."
"Well, 'innocent' isn't a word that's applied t' me for a long bloody time," Amanda said with a snort. "An' it's mutual. Not too sure how much use I'd be t' you, but you need somethin' you let me know."
"Me either", Angelo told her softly. "Been a killer since I was fourteen, and other things too. And... thanks. I'll keep it in mind."
"Hah, listen t' us, all deep an' meaningful. We sound like a support group," Amanda said with a laugh. She reached over and squeezed his hand, just once, before letting go. "An' speakin' of support groups, I'd better get my arse upstairs before they think vaguely about a search party for me. Can't have me disappearing before I've got you all healed up, like, can they?"
Angelo laughed softly. "That's not the only reason people want you around", he told her. "Don't ever think it is."
Amanda shrugged. "Even if it is, it's more ‘n I had. Least this way I get t' choose t' help." She unfolded from the chair, wincing slightly at her stiffened joints. "But don't worry, I'm not goin' to get all mopey on you again. That's Ramsey's thing." She nodded to him. "Thanks, mate."
Angelo nodded back. "No problem. Thanks to you, too - I owe you a huge favor, so don't ever think twice about callin' it in."
***
"Bloody fucking hell." Angelo looked up at the voice - unmistakeably Amanda's - and saw the witch standing in the doorway of his medlab cubicle, shivering. "Next time I decide t' go all melodramatic an' stomp off for a sulk, remind me that it's fucking freezing out there?"
Angelo blinked at her. "...Sure..." He gestured at the chair nearest to the bed. "Come on in, it's a bit warmer in here at least."
"Bloody snow," she muttered, taking his advice and coming in. She curled into the chair, trying to get warm by pulling her legs up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. "Bloody place." She looked up at him. "So when was all this my fault?"
Angelo looked back, confused. "When was all what your fault?"
"All this shite about attackin' the teachers an' not appreciatin' the place an' all that. I've got people jumpin' down me throat everywhere, an' I don't even know why. All I said was I didn't want people puttin' guns in my face. Perfectly reasonable request, I would have thought."
Angelo sighed. "Everybody's stressed out. Don't think they were attackin' you personally."
"Felt like it," Amanda muttered sulkily. Then she sighed. "Maybe not - I can't tell. There's all these words an' people are making arguments an' I'm sittin' here tryin' to follow only I'm getting the gist since..." She blushed a little. "I don't read too good. An' the only reason anyone can read me own journal is because of that spell-check thingie."
Angelo nodded. "You told any of the teachers that? They'd help, you know."
"I'm in remedial everythin', an' gettin' extra tutoring besides. They just tell me it'll take time." A thought occurred to her. "I know a spell that could help..." Then her face fell. "Only Pete would consider it cheatin'. An' the knowledge won't stick. But yeah, I'm tryin' to follow what's goin' on and gettin' into a horrible muddle. People keep sayin' if you don't like it go back t' where yer came from, an' if that's the way they feel, then fine. But I can't exactly get there under me own steam, can I? There's a big fucking ocean in th' way."
"Who said that?" Angelo asked angrily. "You tell me and I'll talk to them - some of us who lived in this country can't go home, either..."
"'S mainly that fuckwit of a groundskeeper, but that woman - Alison? I haven't met her yet - she seems t' be sayin' that if you can't be bothered doin' anything but complainin' you should leave. I could have read that wrong." Amanda's shoulders slumped. "Is it always like this? With all the arguin'? I think I'd rather have the whole 'if you don't like what someone says, smack them in the ear' thing we had on the streets. Least I could keep up that way."
"The arguin' does happen", Angelo told her honestly. "An' I think I can understand it, 'specially after somethin' like what just happened. But Ali's not usually one for the personal attacks - you sure she was gettin' at you?"
Amanda shrugged. "Like I said, I dunno. She said somethin' about people whinin' an' not helpin' an' that I should've asked about security stuff, an' some other stuff about people treatin' this place like a jail. Might not have been aimed at me, but it was replyin' to somethin' I said, so maybe it was."
Angelo shrugged. "Not for me to say. You okay, other than that stuff?"
"I s'pose. Everythin's happened so fast, me head's spinnin' sometimes. I mean, I've only been here three weeks, an' look at all that's happened." Amanda gave him a frankly pitiful look. "Is this what it's always like?"
Angelo reached out to squeeze her hand gently. "Depends how you mean. It's always confusin', but I think you were just unlucky as far as the things happenin' go."
Amanda jerked slightly, startled by the touch, and then realised it wasn't a come on. It was something she was still getting used to, people touching her in ways that weren't either violent or lustful. "Yeah, I s'pose I was. What about you? What was yer first couple of weeks like?"
Angelo paused, letting go of her hand when she flinched, then answered. "Confusin' as hell. So many new people I had t'meet. An' I was still recoverin' from LA..."
Amanda nodded. "The f... thing with yer old gang?" She avoided saying the word 'fire', remembering what she'd read on the system about Angelo having nightmares.
"Yeah", he answered flatly. "The thing I told you about. Kinda knocks you back when the people you trust most turn on you in a second flat."
"'S why it's better not t' trust people in the first place - they can't stitch you up that way," Amanda replied matter-of-factly.
Angelo looked at her. "Maybe you're right. Lonely way to live, though."
"After the last few weeks, I'm startin' t' think I prefer lonely," she said, a trace of bitterness touching her voice. "I go soft, trustin' people an' tryin' t' help an' do what they want me to, an' I get nothing but grief for it." She said the words without anger, but with regret.
Angelo nodded. "Yeah, I know what you mean. Let myself go soft since I've been here, too. Comes from bein' told you're gonna be safe", he finished with a hint of bitterness in his own voice.
"Yeah, well, I think we were entitled t' think we were safe. This is a bleedin' school, ain't it?" Amanda began fishing in her pockets for cigarettes before remembering where she was. "Hey, the doc around? I'm dyin' for a fag."
Angelo glanced through the panel of glass in the door, and seeing no blue fur in sight, shook his head. "Can't see him. Could I snag one? 'S been too long." He sighed, before continuing, "Thing is, I'd probably've made the same choice even if they had said somethin'. But I wish they'd let me make that choice with all the facts in front of me, 'fore I came here and... got attached."
With a small, wry grin quirking the corner of her mouth upward, Amanda offered him the pack, lighting hers, and then his, with her fire spell. "Yeah, I kind of noticed the attachment. An' when are you two goin' to stop fuckin' around an’ well, fuck around? Paige is tryin' not t' show it, but she's not happy with the whole thing. It's all the same t' me, but you two are all right an' I can't see the point in all the denial."
Angelo frowned. "There's no denial. Tried that, it didn't work. So I told her, and she told me, and we kinda got together, and now she's not happy. There's complications."
"What, the grumpy bastard in the basement?" Amanda said, grinning.
"Yeah", Angelo answered simply, with a wry grin in return. "She's kinda with him too. Think it's gettin' to her..." He trailed off, grin fading.
"So, what, you an' Jono hate each other that much?"
Angelo shook his head. "Don't hate him. Not since we all got taken to Mexico to try an' work things out. We're not each other's favorite person, but I don't hate him, and I don't think he hates me."
"Yer all nuts," Amanda said, shaking her head and exhaling smoke. "'S much simpler if you leave that love shite out of it."
That brought the wry grin back. "Where were you four months ago? 'S a bit late for that advice now."
"Four months ago I was dodgin' the filth an' tryin' t' find enough places t' sleep that weren't in th' rain," Amanda replied, wryly. "Could've done with this place then, only Rom hadn't tracked me down yet."
Angelo nodded. "Yeah, that was me six or seven months ago. This place was a relief, which is why I'd've probably made the same choice even knowin' what I do now."
"I got t' say, yer right. An' for all me dramatics, I ain't about to go back, not 'less they tell me to. The streets... there ain't no future in that, as well you know. An' the longer yer there, th' harder it is t' leave."
Another nod. "Yeah, I know. Lucky for us Scott an' Romany got us out, isn't it?"
"Too bloody right, mate." Amanda looked across at Angelo and smiled. "Y'know, when I came down here I was ready t' throw the towel in an' go tell Pete I wanted out. That or just take off an' see where I ended up. Now I don't want to - how'd yer do that?"
"'Cause I seem to talk myself or get talked outta doin' the same thing more often than I'd like?" he suggested honestly. "'Specially these last few days..."
"It's not easy, this whole trustin' people business, is it?" she asked quietly, tapping her ashes into a discarded plastic cup on the bedside table.
Angelo reached over to add the ash from his cigarette to hers. "No, it really isn't. Not sure I trust the faculty the way I did, now."
"Not sure I ever did. Well, 'cept for Pete." Amanda pulled a face. "An' that worked out just brilliant. But... there's some people here I would like t' have watching me back."
"Yeah?" Angelo asked, curious. "Who's that?"
Amanda shrugged. "If I got t' tell you, yer dumber than you look," she said with a grin. "Or you think I get me kit off for anyone?"
Angelo grinned back. "Thought so. Wasn't gonna assume, though." Growing more serious, he added, "And I'm right there, anytime you need me. There aren't many I'd tell my stories - too many innocents in this place."
"Well, 'innocent' isn't a word that's applied t' me for a long bloody time," Amanda said with a snort. "An' it's mutual. Not too sure how much use I'd be t' you, but you need somethin' you let me know."
"Me either", Angelo told her softly. "Been a killer since I was fourteen, and other things too. And... thanks. I'll keep it in mind."
"Hah, listen t' us, all deep an' meaningful. We sound like a support group," Amanda said with a laugh. She reached over and squeezed his hand, just once, before letting go. "An' speakin' of support groups, I'd better get my arse upstairs before they think vaguely about a search party for me. Can't have me disappearing before I've got you all healed up, like, can they?"
Angelo laughed softly. "That's not the only reason people want you around", he told her. "Don't ever think it is."
Amanda shrugged. "Even if it is, it's more ‘n I had. Least this way I get t' choose t' help." She unfolded from the chair, wincing slightly at her stiffened joints. "But don't worry, I'm not goin' to get all mopey on you again. That's Ramsey's thing." She nodded to him. "Thanks, mate."
Angelo nodded back. "No problem. Thanks to you, too - I owe you a huge favor, so don't ever think twice about callin' it in."
***
