xp_logs | Log: Dani & Jay

After Jay and Kevin discuss their friendship and the lack thereof, Jay goes back to his room and Dani ends up making waffles. They discuss his love life and make a few decisions, like not dating guys named Kevin anymore.

Lounging in front of the TV, Jay balanced the plate full of waffles on the arm of the couch and leaned over to fetch more syrup. "Ah should ask one of 'em Canadians to bring us back some real maple syrup sometime," he said, shifting his fork in his finges so he could properly pour a thick layer onto his plate. "Ah keep forgettin' though. Hard when one's in the dangerroom with ya, the other's a giant and the last one's cryin' the blues about how scary relationships are."

Leaving the dirty dishes in the sink, Dani joined him on the couch with her own waffles. Mmmm, midnight breakfast was good. She'd made bacon nice and crispy too and had made a mental note that they should get some sausage, maybe make quiche one day, "You could ask Clarice or someone, you know," she suggested, "Or we could just drive up to the border and get it," they weren't that far away. Or had that much to do.

"Ah'm a little lazy to be going up that far," he said, even thoguh he'd flown all over God's country and gotten lost. "Ah'll just ask one of em when Ah remember," though he kenw that between them, they would be having this conversation again a week later when they pulled out the syrup again, if not sooner.

"Ah'm sorry we woke you up, though ya weren't really sleepin', were you?"

"Ain't never slept much," Dani shrugged, she was prone to nightmares thanks to her powers and while her power control was good enough that she didn't go traipsing through peoples dreams like she used to sometimes, she still had nightmares at least once a night. Her hair was long down her back, normally she wore it in braids or up in a clip so she took a minute to get situated, it was almost long enough for her to sit on, "You like that stuff? Training in the danger room?"

"Ah havn't really been in there lately. Ah should go more." He cut into a piece of his waffle and shoved a piece in his mouth, swinging his legs off the couch. "Seriously tho', Ah should go run in the danger room cause of this, just burnin' off some steam. Ah talk like an idiot 'round Kev now. No matter what Ah try, he ain't no good for me, but Ah can't listen to mahself. Like mah whole brain switches off."

"You still like him?" she asked, her powers might be empathically based, but emotions like love and crushes and things eluded her. She knew how she had acted around guys she had liked...like Sheldon, she was now ashamed to admit. She was never one of those twittering little spastic boys, but yeah, she'd gotten tongue tied and said some pretty stupid things in her time.

"Understatement of the year. Ah'm crazy about him enough to be stupid. We really ain't good together though. He needs someone who ain't gonna melt when he touches 'em and Ah need someone that can actually admit he's gay." He blew out a raspberry, staring at his food.

"Good points," Dani practically devoured half her waffles in three bites, "Don't get that though. Why he's gotta admit he's quee- gay," growing up, she'd always heard of homosexuality as being queer and it was still habit for her to use the word in her mind even though she knew it was usually considered rude. She tried not to use it out loud, "If he likes you, he likes you. Ain't gotta put a label on it. Though the no touching thing does present a problem," turning she pointed a finger at him, "Don't be stupid."

Jay didnt consider it rule. He only hated the word 'fag' because it was meant to be hurtful when people said it. He thought to supply her with the word but let it slide, mostly because it was uncomfortable for people to get into being politically correct.

"Okay, gay for me," he corrected himself. "He likes girls Dani. You can see how he acts around 'em. Ah'm the exception to his rule but still. Ah love him but he don't make me happy - if that don't make any sense at all." He shook his head, cutting up another waffle and stacking the pieces into his fork. "Ah want him so bad sometimes, Ah'd do somethin' stupid just to touch em. but it just aint' that. He don't make me happy at all. It's so frustratin' to be around him. Yanno know what Ah mean?"

"I do," she didn't understand how someone could be gay for just one person and straight otherwise, but she understood loving someone who made you feel like crap and hating it and being unable to stop it, "Ain't easy. No easy way to end it either 'cept cold turkey and move far away. Which worked until he came back, I gather?"

"Well, it ain't like it don't work. It just don't work this way. He doesn't wanna be friends which Ah have a huge problem with and it makes me want him back, just to save what we had. All the wrong reasons for wantin' him back, if you ask me." He knew Dani would understand, especially since she was married before. "Plus, he kinda reminds me of Kevin Cabot and that part of me's gone now. Like, it ain't good to rehash stuff like that."

Dani did understand, but understanding didn't really extend to having some useful advice for him. Her divorce had been...well, not painless, but certainly quick. And it helped that she was across the country for most of it. Wrapping an arm around Jay's shoulders, she pulled him close, "Can't go back in the past, unfortunately. You'll always love Kevin...both Kevin's...but everything has its time and place. Their's is done. Now you gotta do one thing for me, k?"

Of course, Jay flopped into her, settling into some contact that he knew shouldn't be comfortable but with her, he liked it. He knew what she was saying and he wanted to tell her he was fine when he talked about it. When Kevin was out of the immediate vacinity, he was good, fine even, able to push away those intense feelings he got when around the Kevin that was alive. Kevin cabot's death was something he'd accepted years ago with Amanda, or thought he had until Dani made him relive his fears. Now he was in that comfortable spot where it didn't bother him, but was just a slightly sore memory whenever it passed through his mind.

"What's that?" he asked, looking up at her

"Next time you fall in love, make sure his name ain't 'Kevin' you're full up of those. If it is, tell him he needs a nickname. I recommend 'Bob.' I ain't dating anyone named Sheldon again," and she hadn't. Not that she dated often, but Manuel was definitely not Sheldon in any way.

"If he was named Bob, Ah don't think Ah would need much of anything else huh? Hell, Ah'd never leave mah room," Jay chuckled and set his plate aside. Pushing her over so he could stretch out on the couch. He was getting tired and even though the smile was firmly set in place, he knew the only temporary cure for heartache was a good night's sleep.