The drunkmail

[x-cypher.livejournal.com]

To: D'Ancato, Marie
From: Ramsey, Doug
Subject: hey


dear
dearest
em-

so, i don't know when if when you're coming back, so i have no idea when you'll read this. anngie and jublee decided to convince me to go out clubbing with them, and now i'm a little bit drunk, i think. mandy made me take a couple of shots of vodka with her and then took me out on the dance floor and danced with me. and she told me to dance with her like i wanted to fuck her, and it got me turned on, and then she went away and laughed. and it hurt, and i'm tired of everything rihgt now, and i don't know how to edit myself the way i normally do, so i'm just saying everything. i miss you a lot. i know you needed to go off with logan to get your focus back or whatever, but i miss you. and i love you, and dammit, i wtold myself i wasn't going to say that anymore, because it doesn't tdo either of us any good, but em, i just can't turn my feelings off. and remy says girls are looking for someone who's onfident and not the littlerbrother and friend, and i just don't know how to get that for myself. it all just hurts and i'm so tired of putting up a front for everyone and telling them that i'm fine when i don't really know what i'm doing with my life at all. and i'm tired of liying to you, but i also know indside somewhere that telling you all this doesn'tk do any good, but i think i may be a little to drunk too care. i mean, i'm too drunk to care about mistypingthings and using capitals and using proper sentences, so i'm DEFINITELY too drunk to care about saying things ai shouldn't say. nand it's not like getting drunk eveyn helped, because i still feel like crap about everything. and i'm gonna be paying for this in the morning, i know. hangover and everything. i should probably go find some water to drink or something, but i don't wnt to spill on my laptop. that'd be bad. i'm sorry. i'm sorry im sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry. im sorry for everything i say and do because i don't want to hurt you, but i love you. and it all sucks and i'm just rambling on about all of it. i probably shouldn't send this email, but i probably will, m,knowing how drunk i am. i don't think my judgements the greatest right now. anyways, i should probabliyu go now. lord knows ive made enough of an idiiot out of myself.

love -
love -
love -
love,doug