Jake and Jubilee - late Saturday night

[x-courier.livejournal.com]

Jake walks in on Jubilee mid-detox. The have the sort of conversation that could only happen on a bathroom floor.



Jubilee sat, head resting lightly against the wall of her shower stall. It was cool here, and cool was good right now, especially with just how much her head ached. She felt like throwing up, but it just wouldn't seem to go beyond dry heaving.

Jake had just finished letting himself into Jubilee's apartment when he heard the unmistakable sound of retching. He paused, half in and half out of the doorway; he was something of a stranger to vomiting, and he didn't imagine it was the sort of thing that one generally wanted an audience for. That said, Remy would definitely kill him if Jubilee were deathly ill and he just walked out on her.

He sighed and walked all the way in. At the very least, he could let Jubilee tell him to fuck off if she wanted. "My darling fake trophy wife?" he called as he knocked gently on the bathroom door. "You'd better not be dying--it ruins that whole 'married me for my money' plan."

"Dying would be mega-awesome." she croaked, not bothering to get up. Who would have thought a detox diet would bring so much pain? "But totally not dying yet."

"I suppose this means you aren't up for making ice cream?" he asked, holding up the bag of chocolate chips he'd brought with him. He'd intended to leave them on her counter, and he was starting to think that maybe he should have anyway.

"I'm not sure." Jubilee admitted, not bothering to stand up. It was nicer down here, cooler. "Food is like, going to make me want to blow chunks at the moment. Word to the wise? Cold turkey sucks ass. Total, serious, ass."

Jake hesitated, then crouched down next to her, not quite sure what to do. "Cold turkey?" he asked after a moment.

"Mucho cold turkey, dude. " she said finally, pulling a packet of cigarettes she'd placed on the counter toward herself. Not complete cold turkey really, she'd still have the smokes, but enough. "Like, mega-gross having to wash my hair because I seriously just threw up on it cold turkey."

"...I see." Jake sighed inwardly. One of these days he was going to kick someone's ass for making him care about these people as much as he did--well, once he figured out who that someone was. He sat down on the tile next to Jubilee. "Give me one of those," he requested as she shook out a cigarette. "So what happened?" he asked, against his better judgment.

She was silent for a moment, taking a drag on the cigarette and letting the smoke just sit in her lungs before she breathed it out.

"Life happened." she noted, fingers tapping ash into the toilet bowl in a half-distracted manner. She'd flushed before Jake had come in, manners enough for that at least.

"It has a nasty habit of doing that," he said, shrugging. "Anything in particular cause this change of heart?" Most people tended to have some moment that made them realize they'd hit rock bottom, and Jubilee seemed to be square in the middle of hers.

"Old friend." Jubilee noted, breathing smoke into her lungs, and then out again on something like a sigh. "Like, okay. I never wanted kids, or that stuff. Didn't interest me. Then, here's CynJen with like, 'I'm Miss mega-successful' only she's not all 'I'm better then you', so I can't even hate her. And then I'm home again, thinkin' like, I can totally be successful to. I've got a cool ass job, even without the super secret stuff. Only here's North, and he's all 'We've got a proper Courier now' and I'm like, 'bastard'. So like...you know?"

He winced, taking a long drag on his cigarette to buy himself some time to figure out where to start with all of that. He gave her a sidelong glance. "Dude...Nobody's looking to replace you with me. I had to practically beg Remy to let me stick around--we're talking hands and knees, walking on glass begging. As much as he likes to torment me, it wasn't just his sadistic side showing--he made a point of saying that you all didn't really need me. I don't think he would've been quite so harsh if he were in the market for a new courier." He sighed, scrubbing one hand across his mouth. "So did someone tell you they thought you were a fuck up, or is that something that comes from the desk of Jubilation Lee?" he asked wryly.

She snorted, and shook her head. "Not to sound all 'Whoa-is-me, my life is the suck. Cause yeah, so not. But I'm a fuckup dude, it doesn't take a surgeonesque brainpan to get that. Too much fucking, too much drinkin'. Okay, so, it's like this. Easiest way to live in Madripoor was to get busy. And I only ended up there because I totally made myself 'China's most wanted'. Remy got me out, got me here. And I've been like, yeah, but what have you done for me lately? ever since. It's mega-fucked up."

Jake nodded, choosing his words carefully; as much of an idiot as he could be sometimes, he still knew when he was treading on dangerous territory. "That was Madripoor," he said, not passing judgment. "You just dealing with that now, or did something else happen?"

"Me? Deal with things like a responsible adult? Laughing dude, totally laughing." Jubilee took another drag and simply sat for a time, tapping the cigarette ash absently. "I've been talking to Sofia, tryin' to get my head into some kinda order. I don't know. It's not like I'm totally 'This is my brain when stupid' and I can flip a switch and shit. Just who the hell am I anyway?"

He nudged her carefully with one knee. "You're the girl who breaks in to watch bad television with me in the middle of the night, and you're the first person to ever buy me an ice cream maker--which, by the way, ranks up there in the top five gifts I've ever received. And you're my one and only fake trophy wife. But I don't think that's what you're looking to hear."

He sighed, working the fingers of his left hand absently. "Jubes, I don't know what it is that you're trying to figure out. If you want, I can go get someone who's not a total idiot at this to come talk to you." He smiled gently at her, looking her in the eye, trying to convey that he mostly meant that as a joke. "But whoever you are, and whatever you've done, you're okay by me. After all, I wouldn't fake marry just anyone."

Jubilee nudged him back with her knee, throwing what was left of her cigarette in the toilet and reaching up to pull the flush. "Dude, thanks. And I bet you're like all 'Please, for the love of God let this not be a 'Very Special TV moment' with the hugging, and the like, tears. So, I'll totally do you a favour and get off my ass, and take a shower...not with you. Not that I wouldn't totally go there, but like, somehow that'd bite us big time. Anyway, after, ice cream."

He grinned a bit at her compliment, but his expression quickly became serious again. "Do you need the hugging and the tears?" he asked, for once not joking. "Because as long as you promise not to tell anyone what a softie I am, you could probably talk me into it."

"Not so much, no," Jubilee replied, accompanied shortly after by a wry grin. "Least, like, not yet...you know? Mostly I just need your help pulling my skinny butt off these tiles before I'm totally frozen."

"That I can do," he said, standing and pulling her to her feet. He hesitated, then cupped her chin in his hand. "You gonna be okay?"

"Like...yeah?" Jubilee replied, pulled away from his hand, scowled up at him for a moment, and then rested her head on his shoulder instead. She wasn't hugging, she told herself. She was just...using him as a head rest for a moment. "Maybe, maybe not, I totally don't know. Just have to be, like, talkin' to Sofia more."

After a second's hesitation, he brought one hand up to her back--not a hug, just support. "Hey," he said after a minute. "The world's full of bastards, but you're not one of 'em." He gently rested his chin atop her head. "This building is full of bastards, and you are one of 'em. Not that you don't have your own issues, but we're all pretty fucked up. You know that, right?"

"Yeaaaah, I totally know that. But, how are you fucked up, Jake? Besides gettin' your arm cut off, that is." Jubilee noted, letting herself relax against him, content to accept the support for the moment.

He snorted softly into her hair. "You're kidding, right?" He sighed. "I'm thirty-four years old and haven't managed to figure out how to be an adult yet. I run away from pretty much anything that might hurt me in any way. And the closest thing I've had to a real relationship in my adult life has been with Wanda, and we've never even had sex." He laughed dryly. "And if that's not enough, I'm probably the least qualified person to be here, and I'm terrified that everyone will figure that out one of these days, but we're not thinking about that."

"Dude...that's sort of sad," Jubilee noted, not raising her head. She was not hugging, totally not hugging. Really. "Would you like to fuck Wanda? Cause I'm sure you totally could with a little work. She like, is serious into the liking of the wine, and good food."

Oh, Jubilee, Jake thought wryly. That was one of the reasons they got along so well--she was as good at evading the real issues as he was. "I wouldn't turn down the chance," he said after a moment. "But I don't know that she's interested. It's not like she didn't have the chance these last few weeks, right?" He gave her a squeeze. "Besides, I wouldn't want my trophy wife to get jealous."

"True, I'd like, I don't know, have to shoot you in a jealous rage or something." Jubilee noted, stepping back after a moment more to just enjoy the feeling of hugging someone. "Remy gets tetchy when we shoot each other. Something about operatives not growing on trees. So, ice cream and bad movies?"

He laughed. "Ice cream and bad movies it is." He stepped back and held the door for her. "So if there are rules against us shooting each other, then I don't have to worry about Emma shooting me again? Or is she exempt from that one?"

"Isn't Emma always exempt?"

Jubilee headed out the door, mind focused now on ice cream and bad movies, and hopefully soon the ability to deal with her life in some relatively sane fashion.