xp_logs | Kurt and Callie

Callie seeks out Kurt and asks him about how he deals with being different.

The gym was not a place where Callie normally ventured. She didn't really see the point of using machines. They were boring and repetitive, especially when there was an entire world out there for your disposal. However, it was a well known fact that the person she was seeking often spent long hours in the weight room. So she figured that this was the best place to find him. If he wasn't around at first, she supposed she could always do a little bit of weight training to wait for him to hopefully appear.

Luckily for her, his tail was the first thing she saw upon peeking her head into the room. "Mister Sefton," she approached slowly and kept her distance, just to be on the safe side. "Can I talk to you?"

He looked up from his position lying on his back on one of the resistance machines, and released the handlebars as he sat up. "Callie. Of course - how can I help you?"

"I wanted to ask you something actually," she explained as she sat cross-legged on the floor a few feet away. "I mean it's a little personal, so feel free to like not answer or anything. But were you born with your physical mutation? I mean I thought I heard you were, but I wasn't sure or anything."

"I was", he confirmed easily. "As I understand you were." That was a gentle prompt, based on a guess as to what this might be about.

Callie wrinkled her nose as she scratched her neck, thinking about what to say. "Yeah. Pink and pointy eared since birth." She sighed. "And I mean I guess it's easier cause you never have to go through that whole 'changing when you manifest' thing. But still it's kinda like...," she paused and looked up. "Kids don't always understand. Do you know what I mean? I mean I never thought I was different until people started pointing it out. You know?"

"And that would have happened when you were very young", Kurt agreed. "Children may not understand what they should not ask about, if they do not know something, and even adults will stare or sometimes worse. It can be very difficult."

"Did you ever feel like that," she asked. It was probably a little too personal, but she was curious.

"Oh, yes." That got a wry smile. "I grew up accepted by my family, but my parents often hid me from outsiders they did not know enough for trust - and that was honestly for my protection. My brother fought gadjo children on my behalf more than once, and even sometimes children from other clans."

Callie shifted, bringing the soles of her feet together with her hands wrapped around her ankles. "I wasn't so much teased or bullied or anything, but like it was a shock. And I mean I know it doesn't make us anything lesser or really different but... I don't know it still hurts. I guess."

"It certainly does not make us lesser. Different, yes, on the outside and perhaps even a little on the inside, just because it is an experience we have had that others have not, and never can. You know there is nothing wrong with being different... but there is nothing wrong with feeling hurt, either, when others act as if there is."

Callie cocked her head to the side and stared at Kurt. "Can I ask, what do you do? "

"To deal with that hurt when it comes up?" he asked, not quite clear that was what she had meant.

"That, and I guess not letting it get to you?"

"I have been asked that before, and I do not know if the answer will be any more helpful to you than it was then." He considered. "The best way to do it, I suppose, is to act as if it does not hurt you, until one day it really does not. And perhaps to remind yourself of all the things the people do not know and that often they mean no harm."

She smiled. "That's what my mom told me," she said. "And that's what I do, or try to do. I guess I just wish there was an easier way to deal with it all."

"As long as it keeps happening, I am afraid, there is not." He smiled back. "However, you are doing something about that. The more publicly visible we are, especially those of us who look unusual, the less that reaction will happen. Little by little, but I believe in that."

"I hope you're right," Callie replied with a sigh. Sometimes it felt like no matter how far society had come, in some ways it was incredibly backwards. She didn't want to be a crusader or martyr, she just wanted to live her life just like everyone else. "Thanks for listening Mr. Sefton."

"You are welcome, Callie. If you need to talk again, you can always come to find me."