Shiro & Jay, Wednesday afternoon

[x-sanfuaiyaa.livejournal.com]

Jay and Shiro both come to find tranquility in the same tree after separate encounters with Jean-Paul (log to be posted), though discussion turns from him to them.


"That is my tree." Shiro looked up at the blue interloper who had taken a spot in the branches of the oak tree Shiro had claimed long ago as his own personal meditation spot. He didn't like when people took his tree. It was his one center of solace and harmony, and right now he sorely needed that solace and harmony. "What are you doing in my tree?"

Jay glanced sideways, shoulder blades perfectly parallel to the branch he was laying on and had to sit up to turn over and lay down on his stomach. His cheek rested on his hand, stretched out on the branch and his legs hooked into it, crossed over so he wouldn't topple to the ground. "Your tree?" He teased. "Says who?"

"I do." It was an irrational frustration, Shiro knew, but a frustration all the same. "What are you doing in a tree, anyway? I thought you were a sky person."

"Ah ain't a bird, if that's what you're thinkin'," Jay replied, watching Shiro lazily through his bangs. "Ah use to sit on the roof of the tree house and talk to Yvette cause Ah couldn't get inside with mah wings." He shrugged as though the explanation was obvious, even if it didn't answer Shiro's question.

"You want up, you gotta get me out," he grinned.

"I do not want up. I want down. I need my tree above me. It is . . . a spiritual matter. Complicated. I do not think you would understand." Shiro paused to listen to a soft voice in the back of his head, beseeching him to reconsider. After all, the path to enlightenment included journeying with others. "Although, given the recent Danger Room records, meditation may be good for you, too."

Jay's smile wavered at that, though it was quickly set in place. He sat up suddenly and pushed himself up to stand on the branch. He felt like telling Shiro that those records were none of his business though the better part of him kept from vocalizing it. "Not everyone likes to talk about their probs," he said, stretching for a small limb to climb up higher.

Shiro decidedly did not look up at Jay, his midsection visible as his stretching pulled up his shirt. "Meditation is not about talking, it is about feeling and thinking. It enables control when you do not have it."

He grasped the branch and looked down, trying to find a foothold. "There's a lot Ah don't wanna think about though, yanno?"

"Such as?"

"Like when Ah went to see Jean-Paul, Ah had a bad reaction to him. Don't wanna repeat of that." If Garrison hadn't been in his room, there was no telling what would have happened. He leaned over the larger branch like a nine year old would and hooked his leg around, trying to find a good seat, then slid off, hanging by his bent knees. Jay had to push his shirt aside so he could see Shiro, but where he should have been grinning, he wasn't. "Ah don't think Ah should see Jean-Paul again."

Shiro's face fell. Jay's torso was the last thing on his mind now, too. "He will be better," he said softly but with some conviction; he wasn't sure he believed it himself. "It will just take time. Taygetos, they tortured him, made him almost lose himself. He needs to recover."

"Ah know, but Ah don't think Ah can be apart of it, you know, the recovery part." He let his arms dangle, but one of his bracelets fell off. Whether he meant to do that or did it by accident was hard to say.

Shiro bent down to pick up the bracelet and replaced it on Jay's wrist, not even thinking about it. "I do not know if he wants me to be, either, but that is not going to stop me. I think that I have to be."

"Ah wanna be - he's mah idol - but Ah can't. Everythin' Ah've been workin' towards, Ah almost lost when Ah saw him. Just hope he understands that," Jay said and without hesitating, grabbed Shiro's wrist, pulled off the bracelet and slipped it onto the wrist that was smaller than his. The bracelet was subtle, wooden with interesting markings over it, something he had picked up from the parade for ten bucks and he rolled it over the skin, turning it around so Shiro could see.

"I think he will understand, once he is capable," Shiro said. He'd resisted the automatic impulse to pull his hand away, and now found himself unwilling to break contact with Jay. The thought that Jean-Paul could not be "capable" again was terrifying, but Jay's very existence here was evidence that nothing was irreparable. It was something he had to hold onto.

If he's capable, Jay thought to himself, but he knew he didn't have to say it, they both knew. His lopsided grin slid into place and he fell quiet, listening to the faint sound of the easy breeze through the trees. The birds here settled him and he was sure Shiro was feeling a little more at ease. He lifted a finger and curled Shiro's hair behind his ear, awkwardly at this angle, but it only made him break out into more of a smile.

That annoying little warning voice was surprisingly silent, which Shiro could only interpret as approval. So he remained where he was and let Jay's rough fingers brush the side of his face. It was an odd sensation, one he wasn't sure felt good in and of itself, but the gesture made him smile, too. "I was not spying on you, you know," he finally said, responding to the earlier comment. "The logs are available for everyone to see. That is how I knew."

Jay's finger tipped Shiro's chin and he tensed his legs, drawing him closer to Shiro for a challenge. "Liar."

"Do you want me to stalk you?" Shiro replied, his voice cracking around the sudden lump in his throat.

Jay raised up suddenly, hooking his hands on the tree and pulling his legs out, dropping down in front of Shiro with a dull thud. Righting himself, he pulled down his shirt. "That's a weird question. Do you always stalk people you like?"

Now Shiro was paying attention to the blue body before him. No chance ignoring that."N-no, but you are implying that you would not mind if I did." Shiro tried to swallow the lump but it persisted.

Jay closed the space between them and the tips of his bangs kissed his cheek bones, accentuating his smile when the sun broke through the clouds, forcing him to squint. He glanced up before back down to Shiro, realizing the Asian was caught in a set of headlights. "If you'd stop flirtin' with me, Ah'd stop implyin'," came his quietened reply.

"I'm not . . .!" Indignation wouldn't get Shiro very far, he knew. He pulled at his collar, suddenly aware of the heat, but couldn't tell if it was the weather or himself. "I do not know what to say now that will not give you the wrong idea or make me sound like an ass."

"You could say nothing and stop lettin' me back you into trees." Jay stopped then and leaned back on his leg, studying Shiro with a knowing look. "Or you could just admit it."

"What do you want me to admit?" Shiro licked his dry lips, but that didn't seem to do any good.

Jay leaned in closer until his lips were inches from Shiro's. "That you're still mad about the glitter," he murmured.

"I am still mad about the glitter," Shiro breathed. That annoying little voice was still silent, and he remained put.

Jay's full lips pressed against Shiro's, wild with abandonment and he inhaled deeply, pressing Shiro flush against the tree. Theories had been tested and now he knew what outcome he would get, either more denial or complete submission.

Now the voice was laughing, somewhere between amusement, excitement, and derision. Shiro mentally cursed himself but let himself go. Jay had been fishing for weeks, it seemed, and Shiro finally couldn't resist the bait any longer.

Jay laughed with a freedom that he knew Shiro felt and tangled his fingers through those dark locks and consuming himself into a passion he'd always reserved for Kevin alone. Only this time, he could touch, he could feel him but then he slowed and he paused with heavy breaths, knowing he should allow Shiro to breathe but not think.

This was not what Shiro had had in mind when he came out to meditate. He fell back against the tree when Jay released him, breathing just as heavily. "Your changes are all cosmetic, ne? Still just as good as I recall . . ."

Whatever space was between them was light and there was a release that gave Shiro an opportunity to feel as though he wasn't trapped and that he could leave this if he wanted to, but then, Jay didn't think he would. Resting an arm above Shiro's head, mischief played in his eyes. "Ah reckon there might be some changes you don't know about." He clucked his tongue and the devil spread across his grin. "Wanna find out?"

"Life is a journey."