Nathan and Jean-Paul: Wednesday Morning

[x-cynosure.livejournal.com]

Nathan and Jean-Paul discuss the impending family visit.



Jean-Paul's eyes crept open cautiously. The sky beyond his window was grey with the approach of morning and he was using someone's chest as a pillow. He debated moving at all, but if he had slept through the night, then odds were Nathan was awake anyway.

He rolled onto his back carefully, pausing just long enough to untangle his hair from the buttons of Nate's shirt before turning his head to regard the man at his side.

"That bad last night?"

Nathan appeared to be midway through a slender but intimidating-looking text on civil society. He set it aside, yawning, and sat up. "See," he said, "the fact that you actually have to ask that question is a good thing. Coffee?" he asked, getting up.

"The usual." Which, in his case, was about a thimbleful in a cup of milk. Jean-Paul watched him for a moment before rising to his feet and following. "Did you get to sleep at all? We can trade off if you want."

"Insert standard disclaimer here about how I used to get by with a maximum of four hours a night for the majority of my life," Nathan said, heading into the kitchen purposefully. He'd set the coffeemaker on a timer last night, and... yes. Excellent. "Don't worry about me," he said, getting two cups down as the fridge door opened and the milk floated out. "Doing fine."

"You have been propping me up for weeks now. I think the least I can do is ask after you." Jean-Paul leaned against the kitchen counter, watching Nathan work. "Can...you tell if it is getting better?"

Nathan considered the question. "Nightmares are repeating patterns," he said slowly, then handed him the first mug. "Every time I deflect one, the pattern gets blunted. I've never done it for more than a night, for anyone. I hope I'm not doing something I shouldn't be."

"I could not say. I am just...impatient for when some of this can be stripped out, I suppose." Jean-Paul accepted his drink with a nod. "When are Moira and Rachel coming?"

"End of the week." Nathan looked uneasy, filling his cup and then staring down into it for a long moment. "I know they were included," he said, not quite under his breath. "We'll sort something out. I don't want to leave you on your own."

"It would just be for a few days. And I know where you are." Jean-Paul looked up. "It will not happen again. I...would not do that to you again."

"I don't want you to think I don't trust you." Nathan made himself meet Jean-Paul's eyes, knowing that avoiding eye contact would be the easiest way to undermine what he was saying. And he did mean it. "It's not about... well, that."

"Nate, I do not entirely trust myself right now. It comes with the whole false memories package."

"All the more reason that I need to trust you, then," Nathan muttered under his breath, sipping at the coffee. "And yes, I know that doesn't make a lot of sense."

"All of this faith in me. I am certain it will lead to a rash of some kind." It wasn't getting any brighter outside. Jean-Paul wondered if it was going to rain again. "I can get someone to sit with me if things get too bad. Jean or Scott or Shiro." He snorted quietly, a smile tugging at his lips. "I know several students who would do it in shifts if need be. You are allowed some time with your family, Nathan. Even, God forbid, for yourself."

He knew there were other people who could keep Jean-Paul company. Intellectually, he knew it. But there was a tiny part of him that was terrified to leave him, and not because he was expecting another suicide attempt. Because you didn't turn your back on situations you were responsible for. Not when you were actually beginning to believe that the spread of the damage, at least, had been halted.

Nathan just smiled faintly in response. "Point, I guess."

"Logic penetrates. I truly must be improving." The speedster sobered a bit and moved to refill his mug. "I do not mind having you here. I am grateful to have you, truly. But I have done this myself, remember. I just do not want you to get where you mind being here."

"Oh, nonsense," Nathan said, as flippantly as he could muster. "Mostly I'm just hanging around because I like your coffee, you know..."

"Oh, of course. One of these days Xavier will notice that I am running a bed and breakfast out of his home and show up at my door demanding his cut of the profits." Jean-Paul slipped his mug into the microwave, looking uncertain for a moment. "You...will tell them I said hello?"

"Of course," Nathan echoed, more softly. "Let me know... if you might be up for a visit from Moira. I know she'd like to see you." He didn't mention anything about Rachel, as difficult as it was going to be to explain to her that she couldn't see Jean-Paul. He'd seen Jean-Paul's nightmares, after all.

"It could not hurt to have one more doctor check me out, but..." Jean-Paul took a deep breath. "I should see them. I know. They were worried. But...with everyone else here, I have to see them or I may as well turn in my resignation. It is unavoidable. With Moira and Rachel...it may be that I can have these things out of my head before too long -- I have always healed fast. And then I would not have to see again."

"Can't argue with that," Nathan murmured, then smiled to himself. "I'll tell Rachel she can draw you pictures, and save them for whenever you're feeling up to it."

"Tell her to imagine what I look like smiling. That should keep her confused and busy for most of the weekend."