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xp_logsUpon learning what happened to Julian, Marie finds Callie and the scene turns into an after school special.
Marie made her way down to the medlab, hesitating at the door. When she’d called Jean to talk about her sudden manifestation of Kurt’s abilities without any physical contact, Marie had been shocked to discover that she wasn’t the only one experiencing a powers hiccup. And she knew she was one of the only people who could possibly understand what Callie was feeling right now. Taking a deep breath, she opened the door and walked down the hall to the room Jean had said was Julian’s…unsurprisingly, she found Callie sitting in a chair nearby, her head in her hands. “Hey,” she said softly, wondering if the girl had fallen asleep from pure exhaustion.
A quick glance up was all that was needed for Callie to confirm who was standing before her. She had expected someone to come and talk to her about what was going on with Julian, but hadn’t thought it would be Marie. It was a mixture of guilt and worry that kept her from returning from her room, but that same combination of emotions (as well as the doctors’ orders to leave) that kept her from staying with Julian. She had no idea what had happened, nothing was making sense. All she wanted was for Julian to get better.
Callie straightened her back and folded her legs below her as she stared at the woman before her. “Hey,” she replied finally, the exhaustion evident in her voice. “Any… any word on Julian?”
“You probably know more than Ah do,” Marie said, pulling a chair up to sit next to the younger girl. It was strange how every action now felt different. “And Ah’m just as worried about you. It’s…scary. Ah’ve never forgotten my manifestation.” Marie reached out slowly to place her hand on Callie’s shoulder, squeezing gently. “How are you?”
The memory of today was still fresh in her mind, and Callie flinched as Marie reached out to touch her. “I’m fine,” she managed to get out as her arms hugged tight to her waist. “I just want to make sure Julian will be all right. He just… he was fine and then he collapsed. And… I pray to God he’s okay. There’s not much else I can do.”
Callie’s deflection wasn’t lost on Marie, but she herself knew how calming avoidance could be at times. She tried to keep her voice casual, as though she were just discussing a class assignment. “Jean…Dr. Grey seemed to have high expectations. Most folks…well, most folks who Ah’ve touched recover okay. And it sounds like you didn’t stay in physical contact for long. Any, uh, issues with yourself? New memories, changed personality traits?”
“Uh yeah,” Callie shifted uncomfortably in place, pulling her legs up to her chest, trying to close herself off. Her hands rubbed her arms as she thought about how much she should reveal about what happened. “I kinda saw something when I… when I stopped touching Julian? But I don’t know if he’d like me telling it. It was kinda personal. And I’m pretty sure I’m still me?”
“You don’t have to tell me,” Marie reassured her. “Ah just…Ah know how weird it is to suddenly feel like your remembering something that never happened to you. Ah…well, Ah know it’s all weird to talk about and heck, Ah’ve had these powers for years and still don’t talk much about ‘em…but Ah just…” Marie’s own guilt was apparent in her loss for her words.
“Can I ask you something,” the younger mutant looked up and caught Marie’s gaze, “I mean it’s kinda personal so you don’t have to…”
“Sure, anything.”
“How do you deal with all this?”
Marie kept Callie’s gaze in silence for a moment before closing her eyes. “Ah don’t know,” she said, her voice so soft it was almost inaudible. “One day at a time, Ah guess.” Swallowing hard, she reopened her eyes. “Not the answer you were looking for, Ah know.”
“I’m just afraid,” Callie’s voice was barely above a whisper. “Afraid that I’ll hurt someone else I care about.”
“Afraid that if you let your guard down, even for a moment, something totally out of your control will drain the people you love. It’s why Ah’m so obsessive about covering my self. And that’s what you need to do now,” Marie said, glancing down at her gloved hands. Gloved as they always were, except now with no need. Pulling off the light cotton gloves, she handed them to Callie. “Just until we get this sorted out. This…this will get reversed, don’t worry.” Ah won’t let you stay this way. It’s my burden to carry. Not yours.
Callie stared wordlessly at the gloves for a minute. Slowly, she pulled them on covering her bare pink arms up to her elbow. She held her hand out to examine them; they were long in the fingers but they would have to work. “Thanks.” The material was itchy, but that may have just been the fact that she wasn’t used to wearing them. “And what if we don’t? I guess I’ll just have to learn to live with this, like you did.”
“We’ve got one of the best minds in mutant medicine investigating. And there’s always Muir…if they got swapped, they can get unswapped.”
Shrug. “Sometimes even the best can’t figure things out.”
For the second time, Marie was at a loss for words. “You asked before how Ah deal with this. You have to have hope. However small a glimmer, you can’t let it go.”
“My glimmer went out a long time ago,” Callie rose and sighed heavily. “Hope doesn’t help. It only makes it harder when things play out, and not the way you ever want.”
“Maybe if you’re hoping for something specific…but Ah’m just saying to hope that things will get better. Whatever better means,” Marie said, her eyes following Callie’s movement.
“And I’m just saying they don’t always do, and there’s no use in getting my hopes up for something that is unlikely to happen. I should just learn to deal with it.” Maybe she could go run away and join a cloister.
“For now, yes. Learn to deal with it. It’s…well, at least you’re not ripping doors off the walls. At least you only have to manage one ability. You just have to be careful. And Ah’m here, whenever you need to talk.” Marie twisted a white lock of hair around her finger, pausing to look at the color. “Just don’t make the mistake Ah did. Don’t isolate. Don’t think people are better off without you. Don’t start running.”
Callie shrugged again. “Thanks Miss Marie,” she said as she adjusted her gloves, trying to get a better fit. “I promise to stay put, at least until we figure out exactly what’s going on.”
“And as long as you’re here, there’ll be people willing to help you.”
Marie made her way down to the medlab, hesitating at the door. When she’d called Jean to talk about her sudden manifestation of Kurt’s abilities without any physical contact, Marie had been shocked to discover that she wasn’t the only one experiencing a powers hiccup. And she knew she was one of the only people who could possibly understand what Callie was feeling right now. Taking a deep breath, she opened the door and walked down the hall to the room Jean had said was Julian’s…unsurprisingly, she found Callie sitting in a chair nearby, her head in her hands. “Hey,” she said softly, wondering if the girl had fallen asleep from pure exhaustion.
A quick glance up was all that was needed for Callie to confirm who was standing before her. She had expected someone to come and talk to her about what was going on with Julian, but hadn’t thought it would be Marie. It was a mixture of guilt and worry that kept her from returning from her room, but that same combination of emotions (as well as the doctors’ orders to leave) that kept her from staying with Julian. She had no idea what had happened, nothing was making sense. All she wanted was for Julian to get better.
Callie straightened her back and folded her legs below her as she stared at the woman before her. “Hey,” she replied finally, the exhaustion evident in her voice. “Any… any word on Julian?”
“You probably know more than Ah do,” Marie said, pulling a chair up to sit next to the younger girl. It was strange how every action now felt different. “And Ah’m just as worried about you. It’s…scary. Ah’ve never forgotten my manifestation.” Marie reached out slowly to place her hand on Callie’s shoulder, squeezing gently. “How are you?”
The memory of today was still fresh in her mind, and Callie flinched as Marie reached out to touch her. “I’m fine,” she managed to get out as her arms hugged tight to her waist. “I just want to make sure Julian will be all right. He just… he was fine and then he collapsed. And… I pray to God he’s okay. There’s not much else I can do.”
Callie’s deflection wasn’t lost on Marie, but she herself knew how calming avoidance could be at times. She tried to keep her voice casual, as though she were just discussing a class assignment. “Jean…Dr. Grey seemed to have high expectations. Most folks…well, most folks who Ah’ve touched recover okay. And it sounds like you didn’t stay in physical contact for long. Any, uh, issues with yourself? New memories, changed personality traits?”
“Uh yeah,” Callie shifted uncomfortably in place, pulling her legs up to her chest, trying to close herself off. Her hands rubbed her arms as she thought about how much she should reveal about what happened. “I kinda saw something when I… when I stopped touching Julian? But I don’t know if he’d like me telling it. It was kinda personal. And I’m pretty sure I’m still me?”
“You don’t have to tell me,” Marie reassured her. “Ah just…Ah know how weird it is to suddenly feel like your remembering something that never happened to you. Ah…well, Ah know it’s all weird to talk about and heck, Ah’ve had these powers for years and still don’t talk much about ‘em…but Ah just…” Marie’s own guilt was apparent in her loss for her words.
“Can I ask you something,” the younger mutant looked up and caught Marie’s gaze, “I mean it’s kinda personal so you don’t have to…”
“Sure, anything.”
“How do you deal with all this?”
Marie kept Callie’s gaze in silence for a moment before closing her eyes. “Ah don’t know,” she said, her voice so soft it was almost inaudible. “One day at a time, Ah guess.” Swallowing hard, she reopened her eyes. “Not the answer you were looking for, Ah know.”
“I’m just afraid,” Callie’s voice was barely above a whisper. “Afraid that I’ll hurt someone else I care about.”
“Afraid that if you let your guard down, even for a moment, something totally out of your control will drain the people you love. It’s why Ah’m so obsessive about covering my self. And that’s what you need to do now,” Marie said, glancing down at her gloved hands. Gloved as they always were, except now with no need. Pulling off the light cotton gloves, she handed them to Callie. “Just until we get this sorted out. This…this will get reversed, don’t worry.” Ah won’t let you stay this way. It’s my burden to carry. Not yours.
Callie stared wordlessly at the gloves for a minute. Slowly, she pulled them on covering her bare pink arms up to her elbow. She held her hand out to examine them; they were long in the fingers but they would have to work. “Thanks.” The material was itchy, but that may have just been the fact that she wasn’t used to wearing them. “And what if we don’t? I guess I’ll just have to learn to live with this, like you did.”
“We’ve got one of the best minds in mutant medicine investigating. And there’s always Muir…if they got swapped, they can get unswapped.”
Shrug. “Sometimes even the best can’t figure things out.”
For the second time, Marie was at a loss for words. “You asked before how Ah deal with this. You have to have hope. However small a glimmer, you can’t let it go.”
“My glimmer went out a long time ago,” Callie rose and sighed heavily. “Hope doesn’t help. It only makes it harder when things play out, and not the way you ever want.”
“Maybe if you’re hoping for something specific…but Ah’m just saying to hope that things will get better. Whatever better means,” Marie said, her eyes following Callie’s movement.
“And I’m just saying they don’t always do, and there’s no use in getting my hopes up for something that is unlikely to happen. I should just learn to deal with it.” Maybe she could go run away and join a cloister.
“For now, yes. Learn to deal with it. It’s…well, at least you’re not ripping doors off the walls. At least you only have to manage one ability. You just have to be careful. And Ah’m here, whenever you need to talk.” Marie twisted a white lock of hair around her finger, pausing to look at the color. “Just don’t make the mistake Ah did. Don’t isolate. Don’t think people are better off without you. Don’t start running.”
Callie shrugged again. “Thanks Miss Marie,” she said as she adjusted her gloves, trying to get a better fit. “I promise to stay put, at least until we figure out exactly what’s going on.”
“And as long as you’re here, there’ll be people willing to help you.”
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