Morgan & Sam | Thursday evening

[x-copycat.livejournal.com]

In which the former mercenary ditches the school teacher.

The drive over to the mansion had been amazing. Morgan had managed speeds that made the heat cool as the wind hit her skin and she was so much happier now that she was practically glowing as she knocked on the door to the suite Sam shared with Kurt. At least one of them was likely to be around and if it was the fuzzy one he might at least know where the boyfriendy one was. While she waited she bounced on the balls of her feet, impatience eating at her. The standing still thing was proving more of an issue for her lately.

Sam glanced through the peephole and saw a bouncing girlfriend. He pulled the door open quickly and grinned to her. "Someone looks excited." They had been spending the usual time together; the occasional night and quite a few dates. It was about that time again and he was always glad to see her. He liked time with her even more than reading and indulging in work.

Morgan shrugged, her bouncing slowing and then stopping. "Nah, someone's got too much energy and an adrenaline rush's all. How're you doin' love? And why aren't you outside? Y'know, where the sun and the heat live." Morgan lived for the heat, even if it was gross and sticky. She didn't do the cold winters up here too well.

"I was out earlier. I flew and... stuff." Sam couldn't think of exactly what he had done. Nothing of any significance. "I was in here reading now. I've been fixing to go swimming for weeks now but I just haven't got around to it." He should have been out more and he was glad Morgan was a strong woman that would force him out of his room. "Last time I tried I ran into Jay and we had a fight."

"My understanding's that's what siblings are for." Morgan sauntered in through the doorway and made her way to the couch where she flopped down even though she felt like running or swimming laps. Maybe climbing something. "I don't understand how you could be fixing to go swimming for weeks and not get around to it when you live in a place with a swimming pool and a lake." She frowned a bit and shook her head. "Don't get me wrong, I like reading but reading or swimming and you're in here with a book instead?"

"I have to make sure I have new material... for the new shows... because I'm like the History Channel... which is why you like me." Sam ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. It was actually noticeable that he hadn't been keeping it as short as before. He moved over to the couch, pulled Morgan's legs up, and sat under them. "Jay and I fight more than other siblings, I think."

"Maybe you just don't see other siblings when they fight," she offered, legs stretching out across Sam's lap and then settling down comfortably. "So, you're now gonna be a walking History Channel show, huh? New aspiration? Teacher by day, X-Man by night, TV show on the weekends?" Morgan laughed.

Sam decided to stick to one topic, beginning to idly massage Morgan's feet after pulling her shoes off. "We fought about me being anxious about the idea that maybe I don't have what it takes to kill someone." He had been thinking about it because he wanted to understand her more and he wanted to know he was strong enough for her, despite what others thought. "I told him if I don't have what it takes, then it's not a choice and it's not something I can be praised or blamed for..." He just trailed off, not really doing anything but rambling.

"And it's somehow a bad thing that you're not innately a killer?" She couldn't wrap her head around that. Morgan had use of the ability to kill a person, but she wouldn't exactly put it down as a mark in favor of her exemplary character. Quite the opposite, really.

"If I don't even have the potential then it can't be a good or a bad thing. Then It's not a decision." Sam kept massaging Morgan's feet as they sat. "I wanted to understand you a little more." That was the honest truth; the root of his entire debate. "And know that I wasn't the big puppy dog your coworkers think is too tame for you."

"Most of my coworkers don't even know I'm involved with you." Though Morgan sat up, pulling her feet from his hands and tucking her legs under her. "What the fuck do you care what they think? In fact, what does it matter what anyone but me cares since I'm the one dating you?" Which, to be honest, was something she didn't always understand either.

"It doesn't matter what they think. It matters to me what I know about myself and what you know about me. I don't want them talking in your ear all the time about things that I can't rightly say otherwise to." Sam turned when she sat up. He was worried he struck a nerve with her, he knew how delicate the topic was as a whole with everyone that faced it. He'd ask why they didn't know about him later.

"If you really trusted in me, or this, then it wouldn't matter. You wouldn't care what they say to me or how they react. You wouldn't think that stupid little whispers could get very far past my ear in the first place." Morgan stood up and began to pace the room. She really did have too much energy and needed to do away with some of it. "Sam, we're very different people. Does that bother you? Are you that insecure in everything that it matters that much?"

Sam clearly didn't understand why it seemed to upset her so much; it showed on his face. "Of course I trust you. I just said it doesn't matter what they think. I said I want to know. I think us being different is good and I just want to understand you more and I want to know that I choose to be like I am and that there's a strength there. I don't think that's any different then the soul searching all sorts of folks do throughout their entire lives. It's a good thing."

"But you don't want them talking in my ear." As if she were some little kid easily swayed by tales of Santa Claus or summat. She sighed and perched on the arm of the couch. "Look," her tone had calmed and her voice was quieter, "we're different people. I appreciate you wanting to understand me, but I'm not sure there's understanding to be had. You're a really great guy. A really sweet guy. And I really wanted to be the kind of girl who belongs with that sort of guy. But I'm really not. And," Morgan bit her lip and looked down at her hands she had begun to wring at some point or another. "I don't want to change you. And I don't want to be the only reason you're running around doing stupid shit instead of inside reading. I love that you're the history channel, but that only fits part of me and the rest of me is still restless." This wasn't coming out very well, was it? Fuck.

"Wait. This isn't about me wanting to know more about myself." Sam stood, his chest puffed, looking as fierce as he could manage. "This isn't new at all. You're not even interested in hearing me right now, are you? You don't care what I have to say about who I want or what I have to say about who I am. This isn't me changing; this is me. I try to understand people, the people I love most of all. And I like to go out with those people and stay home when I'm alone. You listening to any of this now?" The country boy knew the 'nice guy but' conversation very well.

Morgan arched an eyebrow at him and the puffed out chest and the attempt at fierceness. "That thing I did there? That's a bad segue. That's my bad. What I just said has nothing to with the contemplation over whether or not you can kill someone. I was going to go with a whole 'it's not you, it's me' thing but that seemed bad. And I figured scripting it wasn't a great choice, but in retrospect maybe I was wrong there and wow I am sounding like a major fucking bitch, aren't I?" She took in a deep breath and sighed. "I like you Sam and when we got together I wanted to change into the sort of person that would work with the person you are. And maybe work's the wrong word. A round peg might fit into a square hole but it doesn't belong there. I'm all round pegging here. I'm sorry, I don't have any better way to explain it. There's a level we don't click on that I need us to click on."

"Well then. Sounds like you've decided. Thanks for coming to tell me." Sam stepped over to his window, pushing it open. He decided it was time to end this conversation. There wasn't a graceful way to take this news and he wasn't interested in playing any of the available roles. He didn't want to play the victim and he certainly wasn't going to try to force Morgan to accept him. If she didn't feel like he belonged with her then it was the end of it. Instead he sat on the window ledge, giving her a moment to make her next move politely before he decided to go off by himself.

She frowned to herself, but didn't try to stop him. "Sorry I wasn't better at that." She wasn't going to weep or mope or change her mind. She'd been considering it on and off for a bit. Morgan wished she'd found a better way to put it, but she'd never exactly broken up with someone before. She padded over silently to fetch her shoes from where Sam had placed them. "I'd like to be your friend eventually, Waffles, if you ever want that. The door will always be open." And then she left, feeling very much like like she had just kicked a puppy.