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xp_logs After the events of "an honourable murderer, if you will", Logan goes to the Danger Room. That's where Charles finds him, later.
"Logan."
Logan tore his claws over his opponent's face, seeing metal where bone should be, then grunted as a trio of twelve-inch claws buried themselves in his gut.
"/Logan/."
He pushed away from the claws, kicking out to put his opponent off-balance, and dove forward, slashing at his side and tearing away the flesh that covered the metal beneath. His opponent backhanded him, claws extended. Logan screamed as his face was split from ear to forehead, in four pieces, and dove at his opponent again--
"/LOGAN/."
--and fell to the metallic floor in a bloody heap. He rolled onto his back, the voice in his head echoing loudly. "What the fuck, Chuck?" he growled, claws shivering with barely-controlled rage.
"There's been an incident. Marie needs you."
He stared at the silvery metallic ceiling. The echo of Charles' voice in his head faded and he pushed himself to his feet. "Danger Room. Program Wolverine One: Abort."
Logan's face was still bleeding slightly when he pushed through Charles' open door. Marie was curled at Charles' feet, her head on his knees. He looked at Charles. "What happened?"
"I'm still working that out, Logan," Charles said calmly. "What I do know is that she's been under some outside influence for most of today, at the least. Whatever it is has gone now and she was aware of it immediately and came to me directly. Dr. MacTaggart has given her a mild sedative."
Marie lifted her head and turned to look at Logan, pushing her hair back from her tear-streaked face with one hand. Her eyes were slightly unfocussed and the hand she lifted shook. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm so sorry..."
Logan eyed Charles with some amount of suspicion; the suspicion wasn't directed at Charles so much as through him. He turned his attention to Marie, kneeling beside her. He looked up at Charles again. "Just now?"
"Some ten minutes ago at most. She came directly to ask me to put her somewhere so she didn't hurt anyone else." Charles' expression was pure neutrality, his eyes were calm and steady when he met Logan's suspicious gaze, and he stroked Marie's hair once more before withdrawing his hand.
Logan nodded, then focused on Marie. He gently pushed her hair back from her face with one hand. "It's okay. It's gonna be okay," he promised. To himself, he promised that whoever had taken away her control would understand, soon, exactly how bad an idea that had been.
"I'm sorry." Marie drew in a ragged breath. "I'm so... so sorry. Oh. God. I don't have anything else to say. I don't know... I would never... I love you," she said finally. "You were perfect. I didn't think I could love you more and I do. And I'm so sorry." Her hand crept out, tentatively, reaching for him.
"It's okay," Logan whispered. "Shh. It's okay. I love you. It's okay." His hand slid through her hair again. He leaned forward, pressing a kiss to her forehead, just beside his hand.
Marie leaned into him, sliding her arms around his neck. "I'm so scared," she said in a very small voice.
Marie's admission of fear made Logan more angry at her attacker. He'd known she was frightened, could smell it on her, but to hear it in her voice made him want to /hurt/ people. He pushed the anger aside, though, knowing she needed him here.
"It'll be okay," he promised again, pulling her closer. He pressed another kiss to her forehead, this time holding on long enough that his mind began to haze from the pull of her skin.
He warmed the cold that was making her shake, his anger and love flowed in through her skin. "Oh god. I thought I'd lost you." Marie's arms tightened around him convulsively. "Don't let me go. Please don't."
Charles backed his chair away from the two of them. "Logan, why don't you take her to get some rest. Feel free to get some more medication for her from Dr. MacTaggart as necessary," he said quietly. "Marie, I will arrange for someone to cover your classes tomorrow if you need. And I will keep an eye on you, so to speak, child. We will talk when I know anything concrete."
"I'm not lettin' go. Not again." Logan pushed himself to his feet, bringing Marie with him, in his arms. He looked at her. "D'we need t'stop in the infirmary for more drugs?" he asked quietly.
"Just... just take me home," she said softly. "Please."
He nodded at Charles and walked toward the door. Stopping at the doorway, he turned back. "She's not teachin' tomorrow." He didn't wait for a response, just shifted Marie in his arms and left, carrying her to his room.
"I'm sorry," Marie whispered again as he made to lay her down on his bed. She was still shakey and she had to force herself to let him go when he settled her into the pillows. His clothes were thick with his blood in places and she knew where he'd been. "I don't know what else to say."
"It's okay," he assured her again. "It's not your fault. You heard Chuck." He moved to crawl on the bed beside her, then looked down at his clothes and stopped. He realised there was probably blood on his
face, too, and glanced at her apologetically, looking for traces of his blood on her clothes.
"I love you," she said, shaking her head at the apology in his eyes. She pulled him to her with one hand on his collar and kissed the blood from his skin, lipping at the matted hair above his ear, tasting the evidence of the pain she'd caused.
"I love you, too," he murmured, letting himself rest beside her. He wrapped an arm over her and pulled her closer. "I...can y'tell me what happened? Or," he rushed on, "d'you wanna wait 'til tomorrow?"
He deserved to know. The resonance with the thoughts that had led to her hurting him made Marie's stomach twist, but it didn't change the fact that she needed to tell him. "The world went upside down," she said quietly. I walked out of training with you and everything was normal, or I think it was, and then... it changed. Shifted. By ten o'clock, I wasn't in love with you anymore. And it was the most natural thing in the world. I was sad at knowing I was going to hurt you, but that was all. I was happy, I was... " The pieces all clicked into place and the sense of betrayal was so overwhelming that it choked her. "Oh my god." She slid out of Logan's arms and fled to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her, to be sick.
He shouldn't have asked. Listening to the sounds of her being sick, he rolled off the bed and stood near the bathroom door. He really shouldn't have asked. Dammit. He debated going inside and instead tapped on the door quietly. "Marie?" He didn't expect an answer.
Marie ignored him and turned the water on in the shower as hot as it would go, cleaned up, flushed the toilet, hoping it would make the water even hotter, and stepped under the stream fully clothed. The pain brought a little relief and she forced herself to stand there, biting through her lip, and trying not to scream. -You don't know,- she told herself. -You don't know for sure.- She began to peel off her clothes and kicked them to the end of the tub as they fell. She clawed the sedative patch off with her nails and dropped it as though it were poison.
The shower made it difficult for Logan to hear anything else. Again, he thought about going in, but instead walked back to the bed and sat down. She deserved some time to herself, after whatever the fuck had just happened. He picked through what she'd said, in his head, trying to piece together /some/ kind of an idea about what had happened.
Marie scrubbed her skin clean, until it hurt with being clean, and took his toothbrush to clean out her mouth, three times, and then threw it out. The mirror asked her to break it but she resisted. Moving with the restraint and care of a madwoman trying to play sane, she turned off the shower, and then threw out her clothing. She emerged, shaking and naked, hands fisted in her hair; half-wringing it dry, half-pulling at it until it hurt.
"How could he do this to me?" She was staring at her feet as she spoke, trying to keep from falling or flying in spite of herself.
Doug had been the only person other than Xavier who'd left a strong scent on Marie's clothes, but that didn't make any sense. Doug had claimed to love her. Logan pushed himself off the bed and stood in front of her. He carefully removed her hands from her hair, tugging her toward the bed to sit down. "Who?"
Marie pulled away from him and looked at him with hollow eyes. "Doug," she said, her voice low and strained. "I wasn't in love with you anymore. It was him. And it was... so... real." Her voice trailed off into an exhalation and her hands found their way back into her hair.
Logan's first response was a very low, very real growl. His fists clenched and he desperately wanted to go and tear Doug to pieces, right then. But looking at Marie, how broken she was, he couldn't do it, couldn't leave her yet. He pulled her hands from her hair again and began to slowly run his fingers through it, drawing out the excess water. "He." He stopped. The word had come out a growl; he waited for her to speak again, if she was going to speak again.
Marie's breathing was fast and shallow, on the verge of hyperventilation. "I never would have known," she said, horrified. "I... I don't know what stopped it but... I could have gone the rest of my life... oh, God." It was a prayer this time, supplication. "Oh, God. Logan... " She started to cry helplessly.
Logan left her hair and reached for the gloves they'd put under the pillow for the weekend, slipping them on. He pulled her close and held her. "Shh, baby. Chuck woulda figured it out. Somebody woulda seen."
"Don't let me go." She leaned into him, sliding her arms around his waist. "I love you so much. I'm so sorry."
"It's okay." He breathed her in, the soap and the pinkburnt skin and the fear. "It's okay, baby. You don't hafta be sorry. I love you."
Marie relaxed against him and let the shakes run freely through her. "Just don't let me go. I'm so scared it'll come back. Promise," she said shakily. "Promise you won't let me go."
Tightening his hold on her with one arm, Logan grabbed at the blanket with the other, pulling it up and over her. "I promise. Never again," he said, wrapping his arm around her again.
He kept his promises in the end, always. She let her eyes fall closed, aware of being lifted and held. "Mine," she whispered, holding onto his shirt for safety as she slid toward sleep. "Yours. Always."
Always. He held her close, watching her sleep for the rest of the night. In this, at least, he could keep her safe.
"Logan."
Logan tore his claws over his opponent's face, seeing metal where bone should be, then grunted as a trio of twelve-inch claws buried themselves in his gut.
"/Logan/."
He pushed away from the claws, kicking out to put his opponent off-balance, and dove forward, slashing at his side and tearing away the flesh that covered the metal beneath. His opponent backhanded him, claws extended. Logan screamed as his face was split from ear to forehead, in four pieces, and dove at his opponent again--
"/LOGAN/."
--and fell to the metallic floor in a bloody heap. He rolled onto his back, the voice in his head echoing loudly. "What the fuck, Chuck?" he growled, claws shivering with barely-controlled rage.
"There's been an incident. Marie needs you."
He stared at the silvery metallic ceiling. The echo of Charles' voice in his head faded and he pushed himself to his feet. "Danger Room. Program Wolverine One: Abort."
Logan's face was still bleeding slightly when he pushed through Charles' open door. Marie was curled at Charles' feet, her head on his knees. He looked at Charles. "What happened?"
"I'm still working that out, Logan," Charles said calmly. "What I do know is that she's been under some outside influence for most of today, at the least. Whatever it is has gone now and she was aware of it immediately and came to me directly. Dr. MacTaggart has given her a mild sedative."
Marie lifted her head and turned to look at Logan, pushing her hair back from her tear-streaked face with one hand. Her eyes were slightly unfocussed and the hand she lifted shook. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm so sorry..."
Logan eyed Charles with some amount of suspicion; the suspicion wasn't directed at Charles so much as through him. He turned his attention to Marie, kneeling beside her. He looked up at Charles again. "Just now?"
"Some ten minutes ago at most. She came directly to ask me to put her somewhere so she didn't hurt anyone else." Charles' expression was pure neutrality, his eyes were calm and steady when he met Logan's suspicious gaze, and he stroked Marie's hair once more before withdrawing his hand.
Logan nodded, then focused on Marie. He gently pushed her hair back from her face with one hand. "It's okay. It's gonna be okay," he promised. To himself, he promised that whoever had taken away her control would understand, soon, exactly how bad an idea that had been.
"I'm sorry." Marie drew in a ragged breath. "I'm so... so sorry. Oh. God. I don't have anything else to say. I don't know... I would never... I love you," she said finally. "You were perfect. I didn't think I could love you more and I do. And I'm so sorry." Her hand crept out, tentatively, reaching for him.
"It's okay," Logan whispered. "Shh. It's okay. I love you. It's okay." His hand slid through her hair again. He leaned forward, pressing a kiss to her forehead, just beside his hand.
Marie leaned into him, sliding her arms around his neck. "I'm so scared," she said in a very small voice.
Marie's admission of fear made Logan more angry at her attacker. He'd known she was frightened, could smell it on her, but to hear it in her voice made him want to /hurt/ people. He pushed the anger aside, though, knowing she needed him here.
"It'll be okay," he promised again, pulling her closer. He pressed another kiss to her forehead, this time holding on long enough that his mind began to haze from the pull of her skin.
He warmed the cold that was making her shake, his anger and love flowed in through her skin. "Oh god. I thought I'd lost you." Marie's arms tightened around him convulsively. "Don't let me go. Please don't."
Charles backed his chair away from the two of them. "Logan, why don't you take her to get some rest. Feel free to get some more medication for her from Dr. MacTaggart as necessary," he said quietly. "Marie, I will arrange for someone to cover your classes tomorrow if you need. And I will keep an eye on you, so to speak, child. We will talk when I know anything concrete."
"I'm not lettin' go. Not again." Logan pushed himself to his feet, bringing Marie with him, in his arms. He looked at her. "D'we need t'stop in the infirmary for more drugs?" he asked quietly.
"Just... just take me home," she said softly. "Please."
He nodded at Charles and walked toward the door. Stopping at the doorway, he turned back. "She's not teachin' tomorrow." He didn't wait for a response, just shifted Marie in his arms and left, carrying her to his room.
"I'm sorry," Marie whispered again as he made to lay her down on his bed. She was still shakey and she had to force herself to let him go when he settled her into the pillows. His clothes were thick with his blood in places and she knew where he'd been. "I don't know what else to say."
"It's okay," he assured her again. "It's not your fault. You heard Chuck." He moved to crawl on the bed beside her, then looked down at his clothes and stopped. He realised there was probably blood on his
face, too, and glanced at her apologetically, looking for traces of his blood on her clothes.
"I love you," she said, shaking her head at the apology in his eyes. She pulled him to her with one hand on his collar and kissed the blood from his skin, lipping at the matted hair above his ear, tasting the evidence of the pain she'd caused.
"I love you, too," he murmured, letting himself rest beside her. He wrapped an arm over her and pulled her closer. "I...can y'tell me what happened? Or," he rushed on, "d'you wanna wait 'til tomorrow?"
He deserved to know. The resonance with the thoughts that had led to her hurting him made Marie's stomach twist, but it didn't change the fact that she needed to tell him. "The world went upside down," she said quietly. I walked out of training with you and everything was normal, or I think it was, and then... it changed. Shifted. By ten o'clock, I wasn't in love with you anymore. And it was the most natural thing in the world. I was sad at knowing I was going to hurt you, but that was all. I was happy, I was... " The pieces all clicked into place and the sense of betrayal was so overwhelming that it choked her. "Oh my god." She slid out of Logan's arms and fled to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her, to be sick.
He shouldn't have asked. Listening to the sounds of her being sick, he rolled off the bed and stood near the bathroom door. He really shouldn't have asked. Dammit. He debated going inside and instead tapped on the door quietly. "Marie?" He didn't expect an answer.
Marie ignored him and turned the water on in the shower as hot as it would go, cleaned up, flushed the toilet, hoping it would make the water even hotter, and stepped under the stream fully clothed. The pain brought a little relief and she forced herself to stand there, biting through her lip, and trying not to scream. -You don't know,- she told herself. -You don't know for sure.- She began to peel off her clothes and kicked them to the end of the tub as they fell. She clawed the sedative patch off with her nails and dropped it as though it were poison.
The shower made it difficult for Logan to hear anything else. Again, he thought about going in, but instead walked back to the bed and sat down. She deserved some time to herself, after whatever the fuck had just happened. He picked through what she'd said, in his head, trying to piece together /some/ kind of an idea about what had happened.
Marie scrubbed her skin clean, until it hurt with being clean, and took his toothbrush to clean out her mouth, three times, and then threw it out. The mirror asked her to break it but she resisted. Moving with the restraint and care of a madwoman trying to play sane, she turned off the shower, and then threw out her clothing. She emerged, shaking and naked, hands fisted in her hair; half-wringing it dry, half-pulling at it until it hurt.
"How could he do this to me?" She was staring at her feet as she spoke, trying to keep from falling or flying in spite of herself.
Doug had been the only person other than Xavier who'd left a strong scent on Marie's clothes, but that didn't make any sense. Doug had claimed to love her. Logan pushed himself off the bed and stood in front of her. He carefully removed her hands from her hair, tugging her toward the bed to sit down. "Who?"
Marie pulled away from him and looked at him with hollow eyes. "Doug," she said, her voice low and strained. "I wasn't in love with you anymore. It was him. And it was... so... real." Her voice trailed off into an exhalation and her hands found their way back into her hair.
Logan's first response was a very low, very real growl. His fists clenched and he desperately wanted to go and tear Doug to pieces, right then. But looking at Marie, how broken she was, he couldn't do it, couldn't leave her yet. He pulled her hands from her hair again and began to slowly run his fingers through it, drawing out the excess water. "He." He stopped. The word had come out a growl; he waited for her to speak again, if she was going to speak again.
Marie's breathing was fast and shallow, on the verge of hyperventilation. "I never would have known," she said, horrified. "I... I don't know what stopped it but... I could have gone the rest of my life... oh, God." It was a prayer this time, supplication. "Oh, God. Logan... " She started to cry helplessly.
Logan left her hair and reached for the gloves they'd put under the pillow for the weekend, slipping them on. He pulled her close and held her. "Shh, baby. Chuck woulda figured it out. Somebody woulda seen."
"Don't let me go." She leaned into him, sliding her arms around his waist. "I love you so much. I'm so sorry."
"It's okay." He breathed her in, the soap and the pinkburnt skin and the fear. "It's okay, baby. You don't hafta be sorry. I love you."
Marie relaxed against him and let the shakes run freely through her. "Just don't let me go. I'm so scared it'll come back. Promise," she said shakily. "Promise you won't let me go."
Tightening his hold on her with one arm, Logan grabbed at the blanket with the other, pulling it up and over her. "I promise. Never again," he said, wrapping his arm around her again.
He kept his promises in the end, always. She let her eyes fall closed, aware of being lifted and held. "Mine," she whispered, holding onto his shirt for safety as she slid toward sleep. "Yours. Always."
Always. He held her close, watching her sleep for the rest of the night. In this, at least, he could keep her safe.
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no subject
Date: 2004-02-17 07:27 am (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-17 07:48 am (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-17 07:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-17 11:52 am (UTC)Oh man, this is just... wow. Amazing writing, both of you. And now I'm off to find a very deep hole to hide Amanda in.
For once...
Date: 2004-02-17 01:32 pm (UTC)Hrm. Good play all around, folks.
Manuel