Jean-Paul and Jake: Look like nothing's gonna change

[x-courier.livejournal.com]

Jake comes to feed Jean-Paul and keep him company while he waits to hear news about Nathan, and learns that Jeanne-Marie has returned.



The sight of Jean-Paul's car sitting in the garage filled Jake with equal parts hope and fear; he'd been arguing with himself the entire way in from the city about whether this was a good idea or not. But he and Jean-Paul had managed to have an enjoyable evening together on Friday, and Jean-Paul had shown up voluntarily to watch Robot Wars even with the knowledge that Jake was there. And he knew Jean-Paul, had watched him pacing in front of the television when Nathan and the others had been on that job in Budapest; even before his kidnapping he would've been a wreck about Nathan's disappearance.

Besides, although he couldn't have said why, he owed Jean-Paul. Which was not a feeling Jake was at all comfortable with.

He decided to enter the mansion through the kitchen, half-expecting to see Jean-Paul at the stove, cooking to keep his thoughts at bay. As he stepped up onto the patio, however, he caught sight of a familiar silhouette sitting on the dock, dark head bowed. Jake shifted the bag in his arms and took a deep breath, giving himself a moment to watch, then started walking towards the lake.

Jean-Paul didn't seem to notice his approach at all, didn't even look up until Jake's feet hit the planks of the dock. He was drooping and had dark circles under his eyes, but seemed to have a hold over himself, at least. And he still had the energy to be confused by Jake's presence. Jean-Paul closed the book on his lap and looked up at his friend.

"Jake? What are you doing here?"

'I have no idea' seemed to be a fairly asinine and non-helpful answer, so instead Jake handed Jean-Paul the grocery-sized paper bag--or, rather, practically dropped it in his lap. "Corned beef on rye with sauerkraut or roast beef on sourdough with horseradish. Your pick."

He dropped down onto the dock next to the speedster, looking out over the lake. The last time he'd been down here had been Jean-Paul's party, when he'd come to collect the drunken birthday boy from where he was sleeping with his head in Nathan's lap. Nathan had looked as though he might actually smile at Jake for a second. Swallowing, Jake pushed down the memory and glanced at the man sitting next to him. "In other words, I'm feeding you."

"If this is anything like my usual approach to feeding people, it is a wonder I do not wind up in the lake more often." Jean-Paul reached into the deli sack without looking to see which sandwich he picked, then passed it back to Jake. "It is funny. I was just thinking...not so long after I showed up here, we had several of our people go missing and they were presumed dead. I was not close to any of them then; the only one I knew much of was Kane and we had not ever been more than co-workers. I got to feed people then and handed out a lecture or two on taking care of yourself so that you could be of some use if the call came in to get moving. I keep thinking that I should be taking my own advice, that I would be verbally slapping the hell out of anyone who went to bits like this." He unwrapped the sandwich on autopilot. "And then I remember that...they are probably doing far worse to Nathan than they did to me and decide that I do not give much of a damn."

Jake's jaw clenched briefly; he knew that he'd been spared seeing most of what had been done to Jean-Paul. Even so, what little he had seen had been terrifying. "One, I think you more than anyone else are justified in not coping, if that's what you need to do. Two, if this is you going to bits..." He shook his head. "You're far more sober than I was."

"Poor Jake. You did not have a sister to make sure that you were only not sleeping, as opposed to not eating, not sleeping, and trying to drink enough to make up for the first." Jean-Paul took a mechanical bite, chewed, swallowed. "Even if I were with the team these days, I could not go help him. I do not have my shields back at any strength and in the field with enemy psis would be a very bad place to test how much I have recovered in the last month."

Jake shrugged as he peeled the paper off of a corner of his sandwich; corned beef, apparently. "I had Jubilee. And Wanda." And a basketball and a broken nose. He took a bite of his sandwich; the term 'sister' bothered him, because he wasn't quite sure who Jean-Paul meant. "So Lil's been feeding you, then?" he hazarded.

"The Brownstone folks keeping you too busy for the journals these days?" Jean-Paul did manage to summon up something close to a smile. "My sister came looking for me. Jeanne-Marie. She is staying at the school now, helping me through my rougher spots."

"...Oh." Jake blinked. "Um." His sandwich sat forgotten in his lap as he digested this. "I...kind of thought maybe it was someone's idea of a bad joke," he admitted finally. "And besides--isn't she crazy?"

"She is doing much better. Better than I have seen her in years, actually. She says she found a good doctor, one who cared about her progress, and that she had more motivation than before to try and get get her condition under control." The speedster's voice dropped a bit, "She experienced some of what was happening to me. Dreamed of my experiences as nightmares. She thought that she was going mad again, but it was all...just me. After she realized that, she came for me."

"Oh." Jake took another bite of his sandwich, if only for something to do until he figured out what to say. "Good. I mean, good that she's better, not that she...experienced all that." He winced inwardly; this was going well. "So. Um. How long is she staying?"

"I believe her status is 'extended guest'. So...here until I leave, I think." Jean-Paul sighed. "I do not want to think. I want to be angry enough to go downstairs and beat the stuffing out of gym equipment. Or do something useful. Just...not this tired and scared mess. Calisse..." He frowned, wanting to run but knowing it would not do much good at the moment. That was one way in which his sister was not helping. Lacking his powers would have made sleep easier, if remembering what had happened when he'd lost them in Moldova didn't make him want to scream.

The feeling of panic at learning that Jeanne-Marie was here was beginning to abate, if only because as wrecked as he was, Jean-Paul didn't look as annihilated as Jake would have expected him to be with his sister back in town. He could only assume that meant that she hadn't tried to stab him or anything similar. He almost asked if she had.

"Yeah, I figured you could use some distraction," Jake said instead, nudging Jean-Paul's shoulder very, very gently with his own. "And some food."

Careful as it was, the nudge seemed to shift Jean-Paul's thoughts somewhat, as if they had no more weight than dust. He took another bite of sandwich. "Are you sleeping? The arm...I have not asked..."

Jake couldn't help but laugh quietly at that. "You're forgiven for having too much on your mind to ask about me, Jean-Paul." The fingers on his left hand flexed, but he didn't look at them. "It's been okay. They've calmed down lately. I'm not sure if I should find that more or less terrifying, so I just try not to think about it," he admitted. He kept his shoulder against Jean-Paul's, allowing the other man plenty of room if he wanted to move away, but enjoying the light touch.

Jean-Paul leaned against him slightly. "I cannot wait for the beginning of the semester. At least then I know what I am supposed to be doing."

That was depressing, Jake thought, remembering just how excited Jean-Paul had been for summer to start. "I'm going to remind you that you said that, when October rolls around and you're complaining about grading papers," he teased gently.

Carefully, he brought his arm up to drape lightly across Jean-Paul's shoulders. "I'm sorry, Jean-Paul. This whole thing sucks." Jake, like everyone else at Snow Valley, wasn't the type to try to reassure him that everything would turn out okay in the end, and he didn't think Jean-Paul would appreciate empty platitudes anyway. "I hope they find him, and soon." It had already been too long.

The speedster nodded dumbly, keeping his gaze on the water and trying desperately to keep the burning in his eyes and the back of his throat from building to anything more. He hated being so damn fragile, but no matter how he clawed for self-control, it kept eluding him.

"Can you stay? It is...I like it out here."

The arm around his shoulders tightened briefly. "You don't think I drove all this way just to drop off a pair of sandwiches, do you?" Jake fished around in the bag with his free hand. "I also brought potato salad, and no deli sandwich would be complete without its obligatory pickle," he said as he pulled each item out of the bag in turn. "And I'm pretty sure that the mansion security would descend on me for being an impostor if I didn't bring cake." He glanced at the speedster, having caught the hesitation. "And yeah, it's nice out here."