xp_logs | Amara and Crystal - Staying in Control

Amara and Crystal meet in the library last Tuesday as discussed. The two power-swapped mutants discuss their different abilities, how they feel about them, and their experiences surrounding their original manifestations.

Amara, in large part, was starting to be okay with her new powers. It wasn't that she wasn't having problems with them, because she'd been knocking things over left, right and centre, but since these problems weren't causing damage to anything other than the glass she'd dropped this morning, it was a big relief.

What did worry her, however, was someone else having her powers. She'd struggled for so long to get control over them - still struggled, to be honest - and she knew it wouldn't be easy for someone else to cope with them. So she'd hurried to get to the library to meet Crystal, which meant she'd ended up being early. After wandering around for a little bit, she'd finally just pulled a book off the shelf, taking a seat at one of the tables and idly flicking through it while she waited.

Crystal walked through the library, wearing the altered uniform Forge had given her earlier in the day. As far as Crystal was concerned, she would keep wearing until she was sure she wouldn't flame up and hurt someone. She could still take on the magma form in this outfit, but at least it would be contained. The young woman caught sight of the other blonde and headed over to her, giving her a smile and nod in greeting and sitting in the seat across from Amara.

Amara glanced up in time to return Crystal's smile, flicking the book shut and pushing it away. She hadn't had much interest in it to begin with - modern architecture was not really her thing, but that just showed how distracted she was right now. "Hi Crystal," she said once the other woman was sitting down, trying not to be too nervous. She knew Crystal was a perfectly nice person, but that didn't mean she wasn't about to get nervous about talking to royalty.

"Hello, Amara," Crystal returned. "We find ourselves in a rather unusual situation, do we not? I do not mean to cause you any discomfort, I know that I was quite concerned and disconcerted to discover that not only did I no longer have my powers and instead had those belonging to someone else, but another person now had my own abilities at her disposal. My powers are quite varied and can cause damage when not controlled properly. The same holds true for your powers, and you may rest assured that I plan on doing everything I can to keep them in check so that they will not be used to hurt anyone or anything."

"Oh no, it's perfectly fine. I have to admit I was quite worried about someone else having my powers - I know how difficult they can be to keep under control. But if you're used to powers that can be quite destructive, then that is a good start, you won't have the same problems I had to start with." Amara might have been a little overcurious about her powers to start with, but she'd soon been cured of that curiosity. "I'm not really sure what you've worked out with my powers so far, but I always found the best way to keep them under control was not to get emotional about things? I have a bit of a temper, and that's really the worst thing for my powers. So I had to learn to keep that under control, and as long as I'm calm and everything, then things are okay." Amara had a tendency to babble when she got nervous about things.

"Oh yes, my temper flared quite a bit yesterday, and I ruined more than one set of clothes. I had to work hard today to stay calm. Generally, I am calm, but in the few situations in which I find my emotions changing to negative, unhappy ones, I am able to keep my powers in check," Crystal explained. "My original manifestation took place when I was seven years old, and it was one which did involve harm to other people, so as you might guess, I began working on controlling my abilities at quite a young age. Now, as my powers turned out to be quite varied and have multiple aspects, the idea of working on a new use of power, even a major one, is not new to me, but your power is quite different from mine. I am used to feeling the air, of being drawn to it, of wanting to soar high above the ground, and now I am not. Also, even similar aspects are different. For many years, I have been able to keep myself from being adversely affected by temperatures other people would deem uncomfortable, and now I find myself in the same situation, yet the way it works and the feeling of it is not the same as I am used to."

Amara nodded along with Crystal, listening carefully to what she had to say. She couldn't imagine manifesting so young, she'd been a late bloomer when it came to her own powers. But it did sound like Crystal understood how careful she would need to be, and that was certainly a relief to her. "It was a very steep learning curve for me - my manifestation was... very destructive, and I have worked very hard to make sure that that sort of incident never happened again. It is not always easy, not getting emotional, but the possible consequences are far worse, I think." She smiled briefly, glancing down at the table. "I can not imagine how strange it must feel for you, having things feel so similiar, but at the same time not so much. My experience so far with Julian's telekinesis has been so different to what I am used to, but at the same time - liberating. I might miss the constant warmth and I feel a little -- disconnected? I think. I am used to being able to feel such a strong connection to mother earth, it is odd to simply just perch on her mantle. But if there is anything I can do to help you, to make this easier. Please, don't hesitate to ask."

"Is there anything that you feel I should know?" Crystal asked. "What I am wondering, I think, is how safe it would or would not be for me to either leave this building or leave the campus. How does the connection to the earth work? I believe that have felt some of that, it is quite the opposite from being drawn to the air. However, when feeling the desire to move above the ground I did not have to worry about tectonic plates."

Amara frowned at that, biting her lip. "I think you should be okay? I mean, you're used to keep control of things, so as long as you stay calm and everything, you should be alright. I've never be able to do anything with fire or lava unless I've been in my energized form, so as long you avoid that, you should be alright. And I've always found the earthquakes harder to trigger than anything else." She took a deep breath, thinking about it. "The connection... it's not just about being able to move the earth. It's like... I'm a part of it, I can feel how it feels, where it changes, how it's been changed. It's so strange, not being able to feel it." She smiled faintly. "But at least flying won't feel so awful at the moment."

Crystal nodded, taking in Amara's words. "I believe that I will be fine, then. I just was not sure, various mutations work in different ways, and sometimes it is harder to actually use an ability, and sometimes it takes more effort to concentrate on not using it. I was not sure how yours worked, and as the confusion of this change left my emotions in an unusually chaotic state, I quickly discovered the form in which I appear to be on fire, and was not sure if earth manipulation would also occur without bidding. Also, please do not worry," she added as a thought occurred to her. "I do not intend to leave New York until this situation is resolved. It is my hope that what happened to us, whatever it is, can be reversed, quickly and completely. Your powers belong to you, and it does sound as though you miss having your own abilities."

"I've found the best way to not use my powers is to make sure I do not get too emotional - it has taken me a long time to get this under control, but as long as you are to keep control of yourself, I believe you shouldn't have any problems. Keeping them under control, that is. I don't know about using them... I've only really started using them since I became an X-Men trainee, mostly just setting things on fire and stuff." She wasn't going to mention the disaster she'd nearly caused in Hungary. That was special circumstances. At the mention of missing her powers, Amara hesitated. "It is... a lot of adjust to, not having the heat and connection anymore. But there are some parts I do not miss. But there are downsides to any powers, are there not?"

Amara's last statement/question took Crystal by surprise. Crystal had never thought that there were any downsides to her power, and she had thought Amara liked her abilities. Of course she had had to learn to control the different facets of her abilities as they showed themselves for the first time. Her original manifestation had definitely had traumatic aspects, what with the attempt on her life and her first use of power being that of causing the would-be-assassins to "fly" through a non-ground-floor window. The first time she had found herself able to create rain, she had been surprised and confused, certainly, and had had to learn how to control that, along with her emotions, but she had simply seen it as something new to be learned, not her downfall. The same held true with fire, she had already spent so much time on her abilities that after the first couple of times it had happened, it had not been difficult to keep this part of her powers from having negative consequences. Most of the time, anyway; that room in Dubai had started to heat up fairly quickly.

"I suppose I was raised to attempt to view the positive side of mutant abilities whenever applicable," Crystal answered after some thought. "Both of my parents were mutants, as were my aunt and uncle, and all of our abilities were wanted. Even as a small child, before I manifested, I knew that I was a mutant and would one day have powers of my own. They were expected and looked forward to, and I was proud to gain them at a young age. I suppose they could have been seen as a burden to place upon a little girl, but they were not. While I did have fun with them, I also knew how dangerous they could be. Luckily, some things do not present themselves on their own and instead need to be learned. As you have said is the case with your abilities, while some uses of power may occur unbidden when not properly controlled others require a intentional effort in order to occur."

Amara listened carefully to Crystal, fascinated by the glimpse into a completely different experience than she'd had. Her powers had come as such a shock to her, mutants had not been a widely discussed topic in Nova Roma and then her manifestation had had such devestating effect on her home, she'd never really fully accepted that her powers could be a good thing. They were just something she had to live with.

"I've never really... seen them as something to be proud of, I suppose. People I cared very much died when I manifested, and while I know I also saved a lot of lives when it happened, it still came at such a high cost. It's just so hard to see them as anything but destructive, and something I will have to keep strict control over for the rest of my life. It sounds easily to say just stay calm and you'll be fine, but... to be honest, I do not find it so easy to stay so calm and unemotional all the time."

"I injured people when I manifested, but they were not innocents, they were in the process of attempting to murder two young children. I began learning to use my powers immediately, although I did not leave my home very much for several years. Of course, home for me was and is a palace in Attilan, with beautiful gardens and land, and included supportive parents who made sure that I had a safe environment in which to practice my abilities. Of course," the princess smiled, recalling long-ago memories, "I was still but a child, and children like to play. Many vases, wall hangings, and rugs found themselves ruined or in disarray after I had had my fun."

"Amara, you can be proud of your abilities, if you so wish," Crystal continued. "As I am sure has been told to you before, what happened when you manifested was not your fault. All too often manifestations are not pleasant and result in people being hurt or worse. Most people do not know in advance that they are mutants and are not prepared for what happens, and even those who do know will not necessarily know what powers will surface and when. You are doing the right thing, training and not allowing your powers to get out of hand; even if it is difficult, you are making it work. I think you should be proud. I hope you will think about that."

Amara was silent for a few moments after Crystal spoke, thinking about what she'd said. She forgot, so often, the good she'd inevitably done when her powers manifested, and the fact that she could do something with her powers, that didn't mean she would. It had almost been three years since that moment in the volcano, and since then she had worked so hard, and there hadn't been anymore incidents with her powers. If nothing else, she could be proud of herself, and the work she had done.

"I will think about it," she said with a warm smile, looking over to Crystal. "Thank you for sharing your experiences with me, I honestly appreciate it. I don't often talk about my powers or what happened, but you've given me a lot to think about." Amara didn't know if she could ever be proud of her powers in the way Crystal was, but if they did end up swapping back... perhaps she could work out a way to feel more comfortable with them.

"And please, don't hesitate to ask if you have any other questions about the powers. I will do my best to help you with them."

Crystal smiled back at Amara. "I will, and thank you. I have enjoyed our conversation, and I look forward to having one with you again soon. Have a good night, Amara, and please do think about what I said."