Log: Lil and Jean

[x-diamondlil.livejournal.com]

Seeking help for her insomnia, Lil finds Jean and one of the mansion's little guests in the infirmary.


When booze failed, it was time to move to pills. Which meant a trip to the infirmary for the mansion's resident blonde giantess at another ungodly hour of the morning.

Lil sighed as she practically dragged herself down the stairs, rubbing at her eyes as she went. Sleepless night combined with training and shifts at Harry's were beginning to wear on her and the Canadian was sure the mansion's grocery bill had doubled in the past week thanks to the amount she'd been eating to supplement her energy. All of which left her little choice.

"Hello?" she called as she breezed through the doors then frowned when no one appeared to be around. "Where's the twenty-four out take out window?"

"I'm in back, Lil." That was definitely Jean's voice, although the hallway it came from wasn't used very often. "Can you come back here? Bit awkward to come out front just now..."

Managing to keep herself from grumbling too loudly - at least, vocally - the Amazon followed the sound of the doctor's voice deeper into the belly of the medical facilities...

And stopped dead when she found Jean in a rocking chair with an infant in her arms.

"Where the fuck did that come from?"

Jean just arched an eyebrow at Lil and said, "Wyoming. He and his five friends," she added, nodding behind her to the scattered cribs. "Turned out Tagytos had moved their breeding and genetics ideas from theory into practice. Not that this will be a problem for them anymore." And there was steel in her eyes at that, though her tone was a sort of soft, 'shhhhh, don't wake the baby' voice. The little one apparently was still not old enough to sleep through the whole night and the fact that they didn't cry was actually more upsetting to the telepath than it would have been if he'd been screaming his lungs off when he woke up an hour ago. With the rocking chair she'd managed to get him back to sleep and tried to lay him back in the crib, only to find that this one was just a bit more clingy than the others.

"Tag- fuck," the blonde woman spat, albeit in a much quieter voice, before taking a small step back away from Jean and the child. Green eyes flicker to where his 'friends' were supposedly sleeping and Lil's mouth drew in a tighter line. "I-I haven't been on my computer, I mean, I didn't know..." A little growl aimed at herself and she shook her head to clear it. "I came to ask for sleep medication," the Canadian finished lamely, her focus entirely on Jean and not the infant.

"Ah," Jean said, nodding. "Any chance you can hold him while I go grab some for you? I know you're less than keen but he doesn't fuss in a very focused and upsetting way if I put him down."

Lil blinked hard. The redhead couldn't be serious. "Hold him?" she repeated, the words hesitant as if she were echoing a foreign phrase.

Jean sighed, standing up (which was a bit of a feat without her hands, given how tired she was), and already the little guy was stirring slightly, little hands waving in quiet protest, although his eyes were still closed. "Arms out, Lil," she said, giving no quarter.

Eyes wide, the giantess took another step away with her head shaking and arms tucking behind her back in a very childish manner. "Oh no. No, thank you. I've made it this long without holding one of them and I'd like to keep it that way, thanks. Tell me where the pills are and I'll get them myself."

"Lil, I'm tired. I'm cranky. I've got seven full time residents down here and Nate may be over forty but he's still a damn infant some days. You are going to hold the baby for two fucking minutes because the pills are locked up and no, I'm not just giving you the key." The look in her eyes pretty clearly said 'I can kill you with my brain and you know it so we do this my way.'

Lil opened her mouth to reply then snapped her jaw shut with a scowl. Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck. It would have just been easier to go buy more booze. "I ain't gotta sit in the chair, do I?" she finally asked, still pouting like a chastised teenager.

"Nope. Simply fail to drop him and you win a weeks supply of narcotic sleep aids." She cocked an eyebrow at the blonde.

The taller woman went another shade paler when Jean mentioned dropping the infant. "Maybe, I should sit." Closer to the ground for the kid, just in case. Lil waited until her back was toward the doctor to swallow hard against the tightness in her throat before plopping into the chair, all the while trying to ignore the memories of accidentally killing her classmate's pet rabbit. "Two minutes. And I ain't done this before. How am I supposed hold it?"

Jean wasn't smirking or even smiling at Lil, although the reason for that was possibly equal parts that she was stressed and out of consideration for the other woman's feelings. "He's not as breakable as you might think, just hold your arms like a cradle..." And, as soon as the blonde had complied, Jean deposited the baby in her arms.

Lil sat frozen, as still as possible without taking a single breath once she had a hold of the baby. He was... tiny. So small compared to her frame and much more fragile looking than Jean claimed wasn't the case. "W-What am I supposed to do now?" she asked the other woman though her gaze remained solidly focused on the infant. Letting her attention wander meant he could end up on the floor.

Despite what Lil thought, her grip and posture actually looked pretty solid, particularly for a first time baby holder, and now Jean did smile faintly. "Stay here. Two minutes," she said before turning and heading for the door.

Anxiety hit full blown terror when she was left alone in a room full of sleeping babies, one of whom was wriggling slightly against her chest. "Nonono, don't wake up. Don't you dare wake up or I'm never gonna get any sleep because Jean won't give me the drugs if she comes back in here and finds you up," Lil nearly whimpered. She didn't move, didn't adjust her hold. Just let him stir and settle. Stir and settle. "Please stay asleep. Please."

To Lil it probably felt like an eon and a half but in truth Jean was back even before her promised two minutes was up, a small container of pills in her hands. "See," she said, stepping back into the room. "I'm back and nobody's dead. Can't have been that bad..."

"It's waking up," the giantess said in a voice twinged with panic. "I didn't do anything but it - he's waking up."

"Yeah, this one does that," Jean agreed calmly. "It's disturbing when they don't cry, I think." She set the bottle on the edge of the empty crib and reclaimed the baby.

Lil shot out of the rocker, putting a few good feet between herself and the squirming baby. "What do you mean? I thought he was just quiet or something." In truth, she'd expected the infant to be screaming his head off as soon as he landed in her arms and was pleased that hadn't happened.

Jean caught a hint of that thought and mentally winced at herself. Definitely shouldn't have said anything, but it was too late now. "Part of what those bastards were doing included starting on some psionic conditioning. The most obvious result of which is that all of them are exceptionally alert and alarmingly quiet. I've not heard any of them cry yet."

The taller woman scowled, her arms folding across her chest. "That's fucking creepy." Babies were supposed to cry; despite her lack of experience with them, Lil knew that much. "Why would anyone do that?"

"Because they are sick fucks who believed that they could create the perfect weapon by starting from scratch with mutant children." Jean's voice was flat, although her arms pulled the little boy closer to herself, as though she would willingly place herself between him and the whole world. Which was, actually, entirely true.

"People shouldn't fuck with kids." It was one of her core beliefs: hurt a child and you deserved what was coming to you... Which was part of the reason she couldn't sleep. The faces of the children she'd fought in Wyoming at Garrison's side, had hurt and knocked unconscious - and possibly worse - refused to fade from her memory. "What's going to happen to them? The babies, I mean."

Jean agreed entirely. Really, it was one of the foundations of everything they did at Xavier's. "They're going to Muir," she said, settling back down into the rocking chair and starting a gentle motion so the baby stilled, nodding off again. "They have better resources there to handle mutants who need full time care, which babies certainly do, and Moira and her staff will be better able to get an idea of what's been done to them genetically and what can be done to fix it."

Lil nodded her understanding and her eyes dropped to the floor where she kicked at an invisible spot with the toe of her flipflop. There was relief that they weren't staying but also that the children were being taken somewhere safe where hopefully they would grow and flourish beyond whatever had been done to them. "Good."

Tucking a lock of hair behind her ear, the Canadian moved to where Jean had deposited the bottle of medication and pocketed them. "Thanks for the pills. I... I'm gonna head back upstairs now if there ain't any other rules or anything I gotta know."

"Just the standard: one per night, no washing them down with alcohol, anything seems funny you come tell us. If you need more than that batch, though, we're gonna have to do a proper exam."

"I won't," Lil replied, shoving both hands into her pockets as well. "This will be fine. Thanks. I'll see you later," came the final mutter before she turned and marched out of the infirmary.

She had to leave. Had to get out of there. Away from Jean. Away from the babies. Away from the thoughts of Madison and the fact if things had been different between them, if he'd kept his word, she very well could have been a mother to a child the same age as the one she'd just held.