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To: Ramsey, Doug
From: D'Ancato, Marie

Hopefully the subject line gets you to open this email.

I don't know what happened, Doug. I don't know what you were thinking or not thinking. When I finally put enough of the pieces together to realize that someone had made me fall in love with you and that someone might have been you, I threw up. /You/ of all people. /You/, the impossible one, the white knight in training. Part of me wants to scream -Why did you do this?- and the rest of me is praying that it wasn't you and then I'm scared. Because maybe it was you and it wasn't you at once. Because if I can be made to ruin what I love, then so can you.

When you left me, I went and told Logan we couldn't be together anymore. Just so you know that. He's my best friend in the world and I couldn't lie to him, not for a second. He just told me to give him a couple days and we'd be okay. That was all. Oh. God. I've never seen his face go pale that way before. I want you to know, not to hurt you but so you know what this did to /him/. He understands now but I'd rather die than hurt him like that again. Stay away from him. I don't want him pushed into hurting you. He doesn't deserve that. He doesn't deserve any of this.

Tell me what happened. Please. I need to know so I can start putting the pieces together. Tell me it won't happen again, won't come back. I can't live with it if it does. I'd rather die than hurt anyone against my will. I've been made to do it, or set to the task, and I'm only glad it'd have killed me in the end if it'd worked. Never again. Just tell me the truth so I can put things back together, so I know what I have to do, what I have to try and protect myself against.

I'm so angry right now and there's no one to hurt and nothing to fight. Somewhere in me, I'm clinging to the idea that this was all a big mistake. If it wasn't, I don't think I'll ever be the same again.

Current Mood: crushed
Current Music: silence

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c: .modsock: npc - 22 uses
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c: sam guthrie - 103 uses
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c: scott summers - 1353 uses
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c: terry cassidy - 61 uses
c: tommy shepherd - 10 uses
c: topaz - 450 uses
c: wanda maximoff - 152 uses
c: warren worthington - 222 uses
c: z available: adrienne frost - 696 uses
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c: z available: cammie black - 269 uses
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c: z available: miles morales - 128 uses
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p: a haven to call home - 26 uses
p: age of apocalypse - 23 uses
p: allumwandlung in azure and gules - 14 uses
p: along came a spider - 4 uses
p: an eye for an eye - 5 uses
p: arise x-man - 32 uses
p: asgard - 62 uses
p: ashes and mist - 8 uses
p: auld lang syne - 7 uses
p: aureus canis - 10 uses
p: ausente sin culpa - 12 uses
p: bedlam - 27 uses
p: behold a pale horse - 33 uses
p: behold a white horse - 5 uses
p: bleeding arc: ahab - 36 uses
p: bleeding arc: bleeding - 48 uses
p: bleeding arc: vitiation - 6 uses
p: bloodstone arc: blessed are the pure - 6 uses
p: bloodstone arc: deal with the devil - 10 uses
p: bloodstone arc: one night in madripoo - 4 uses
p: breakdown - 5 uses
p: capital turpitude - 6 uses
p: casa dulce casa - 7 uses
p: chicago is burning - 8 uses
p: chthon arc: anansesem - 10 uses
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p: chthon arc: head like a hole - 6 uses
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p: chthon arc: these earthly things - 10 uses
p: chthon arc: ties that break - 1 use
p: claddagh arc: into the fog - 4 uses
p: claddagh arc: katabasis - 4 uses
p: claddagh arc: nemesis - 2 uses
p: claddagh arc: the hedgehog and the fo - 13 uses
p: clean slate - 4 uses
p: collective soul - 24 uses
p: color of horror - 11 uses
p: coming to america - 5 uses
p: crash landers - 4 uses
p: curse of the man-thing - 7 uses
p: daddy's girl - 8 uses
p: dark dimension homecoming - 21 uses
p: darkness within - 7 uses
p: day in the city - 8 uses
p: day zero - 70 uses
p: dial my number - 3 uses
p: different breed - 4 uses
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p: family reunion - 9 uses
p: fear in the dark - 39 uses
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p: for cata! - 6 uses
p: genesis - 6 uses
p: genosha - 258 uses
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p: genosha: step by step - 21 uses
p: genosha: the dawn of liberation - 14 uses
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p: great attractors - 6 uses
p: green eyed monster - 1 use
p: half an ocean away - 9 uses
p: happy campers - 5 uses
p: higher than hope - 29 uses
p: honey i shrunk the magic class - 7 uses
p: house of horrors - 8 uses
p: how to kill a spider - 9 uses
p: humanis honoribus amicis - 25 uses
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p: imperium strategem: bhagavad gita - 10 uses
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p: imperium strategem: lakshmibai raj - 50 uses
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p: impossible odds - 6 uses
p: incursion: earthfall - 5 uses
p: isle of glass - 7 uses
p: it's not my fault - 6 uses
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p: laved by the gulf and ocean grand - 7 uses
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p: light in the darkness - 17 uses
p: little paper dolls - 7 uses
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p: morningstar - 22 uses
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p: sins of the father - 26 uses
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p: something slender's (got to give) - 13 uses
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p: sonatorrek - 37 uses
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p: tales of magik: imus ad infernum - 9 uses
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p: the best deceptions - 5 uses
p: the caged bird - 7 uses
p: the danger room paradox - 39 uses
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p: the ghost of muir island - 2 uses
p: the good samaritan - 5 uses
p: the lost boys - 8 uses
p: the nowhere king - 4 uses
p: the rictor effect - 63 uses
p: the two-sided coin of ambition - 10 uses
p: the witches' road - 15 uses
p: the zodiac: leo - 3 uses
p: thralls of asgard - 6 uses
p: tilt - 13 uses
p: time stand still - 24 uses
p: transian public library - 7 uses
p: what of the hunting hunter bold? - 6 uses
p: with extreme prejudice - 10 uses
t: excalibur - 17 uses
t: excalibur: are we ourselves - 10 uses
t: excalibur: clan akkaba - 4 uses
t: excalibur: glamour machine - 12 uses
t: excalibur: it's greek to me - 8 uses
t: excalibur: proof of concept - 8 uses
t: gen x - 10 uses
t: gen x: demon bear - 15 uses
t: x-factor - 17 uses
t: x-factor: cat scratch fever - 5 uses
t: x-factor: clan akkaba - 4 uses
t: x-factor: feel the rush - 6 uses
t: x-factor: take me to church - 6 uses
t: x-factor: the sting - 9 uses
t: x-factor: the triskelion files - 10 uses
t: x-factor: the underbelly project - 2 uses
t: x-force - 29 uses
t: x-force: a hammer to fall - 9 uses
t: x-force: apalachin - 10 uses
t: x-force: bat country - 22 uses
t: x-force: behold a red horse - 8 uses
t: x-force: big trouble in little lowtow - 6 uses
t: x-force: black hand - 6 uses
t: x-force: burn the witch - 5 uses
t: x-force: clan akkaba - 3 uses
t: x-force: crazy x-girlfriend - 11 uses
t: x-force: dewey deceptional system - 9 uses
t: x-force: jungbrunnen - 6 uses
t: x-force: kefauver - 8 uses
t: x-force: mad men - 14 uses
t: x-force: mutant of the seas - 21 uses
t: x-force: salt the earth - 19 uses
t: x-force: siege perilous - 23 uses
t: x-force: wahp - 11 uses
t: x-force: wideawake - 4 uses
t: x-force: wonderwall - 4 uses
t: x-men - 52 uses
t: x-men: a vs x - 22 uses
t: x-men: agents of shield - 10 uses
t: x-men: attica attica - 6 uses
t: x-men: behold a black horse - 11 uses
t: x-men: bio-hazard girl - 5 uses
t: x-men: clana akkaba - 1 use
t: x-men: lone sentinel - 5 uses
t: x-men: or is he both? - 8 uses
t: x-men: repent harlequin - 10 uses
t: x-men: riding the nightmare - 7 uses
t: x-men: skull island - 12 uses
t: x-men: town called malice - 13 uses
t: x-men: type x negative - 1 use
t: x-men: weapon x-xxiii - 2 uses
z p1: c: .npc - 1899 uses
z p1: c: .retired: alex summers - 264 uses
z p1: c: .retired: alison blaire - 718 uses
z p1: c: .retired: amahl farouk - 72 uses
z p1: c: .retired: amara aquilla - 154 uses
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z p1: c: .retired: bobby drake - 200 uses
z p1: c: .retired: cain marko - 292 uses
z p1: c: .retired: callisto - 117 uses
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z p1: c: .retired: nathan dayspring - 1847 uses
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z p1: p: christian's angels - 5 uses
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z p1: p: family - 11 uses
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z p1: p: kingmaker: zan zar zameen - 10 uses
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z p1: p: litw: the curse stops here - 5 uses
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z p1: p: papa don't preach - 6 uses
z p1: p: paradise lost - 4 uses
z p1: p: pas de trois - 19 uses
z p1: p: penance - 4 uses
z p1: p: pride goeth - 1 use
z p1: p: prince of thieves: drop of nigh - 4 uses
z p1: p: prince of thieves: new orleans - 19 uses
z p1: p: prince of thieves: voodoo child - 29 uses
z p1: p: prince of thieves: wendy - 15 uses
z p1: p: proteus - 8 uses
z p1: p: publish or perish - 2 uses
z p1: p: razor's edge - 8 uses
z p1: p: reavers - 13 uses
z p1: p: remix - 46 uses
z p1: p: remy's eleven - 32 uses
z p1: p: renfair - 8 uses
z p1: p: repodemon - 16 uses
z p1: p: revenant - 17 uses
z p1: p: romancing the holy whatsis - 7 uses
z p1: p: romani road trip - 9 uses
z p1: p: rose red - 3 uses
z p1: p: rush - 10 uses
z p1: p: s'ym - 5 uses
z p1: p: santayana effect - 12 uses
z p1: p: scorpion and fox - 6 uses
z p1: p: search and rescue - 33 uses
z p1: p: second thoughts - 8 uses
z p1: p: shakespeare syndrome - 12 uses
z p1: p: shattered - 6 uses
z p1: p: shiva - 13 uses
z p1: p: sing me a prayer - 6 uses
z p1: p: size does matter - 4 uses
z p1: p: skippy - 5 uses
z p1: p: somewhere more familiar - 5 uses
z p1: p: sons of liberty - 11 uses
z p1: p: sound and fury - 11 uses
z p1: p: sound of silence - 36 uses
z p1: p: stigmata - 46 uses
z p1: p: stoker and stalkers - 18 uses
z p1: p: sulaco - 9 uses
z p1: p: superhero - 3 uses
z p1: p: taygetos: 7 minutes in heaven - 7 uses
z p1: p: taygetos: fiddler's green - 29 uses
z p1: p: taygetos: fifth column - 16 uses
z p1: p: taygetos: heretics - 8 uses
z p1: p: taygetos: krypteia - 8 uses
z p1: p: taygetos: mnemovore - 34 uses
z p1: p: taygetos: reunion monticello - 2 uses
z p1: p: taygetos: the magnificent seven - 14 uses
z p1: p: taygetos: walking ghosts - 23 uses
z p1: p: terp attack - 3 uses
z p1: p: the butterfly effect - 6 uses
z p1: p: the curse - 3 uses
z p1: p: the enemy within - 12 uses
z p1: p: the gift - 13 uses
z p1: p: the mummies' return - 5 uses
z p1: p: the one-eyed king - 21 uses
z p1: p: the orchid - 5 uses
z p1: p: the problématique - 14 uses
z p1: p: the shadow king - 39 uses
z p1: p: the wild hunt - 5 uses
z p1: p: the winding way - 14 uses
z p1: p: third strike - 4 uses
z p1: p: thirteen days - 51 uses
z p1: p: this devil's workday - 10 uses
z p1: p: this savage land - 18 uses
z p1: p: those who are dead - 4 uses
z p1: p: time after time - 9 uses
z p1: p: times they are a-changin - 6 uses
z p1: p: tomorrow's children - 48 uses
z p1: p: tomorrow's children: a mirror d - 9 uses
z p1: p: tomorrow's children: air xavier - 5 uses
z p1: p: tomorrow's children: house of w - 21 uses
z p1: p: tomorrow's children: kashmir wa - 10 uses
z p1: p: tomorrow's children: lost gen - 6 uses
z p1: p: tomorrow's children: skeleton c - 10 uses
z p1: p: tomorrow's children: trans-sibe - 4 uses
z p1: p: tomorrow's children: trinity - 24 uses
z p1: p: traitor - 44 uses
z p1: p: tropic of capricorn - 15 uses
z p1: p: turf war - 6 uses
z p1: p: twisted sister - 3 uses
z p1: p: unwell - 5 uses
z p1: p: upgrade - 37 uses
z p1: p: v=ir - 11 uses
z p1: p: valentia's lullaby - 7 uses
z p1: p: voices carry - 7 uses
z p1: p: wayward sons: a betrayal of hea - 20 uses
z p1: p: wayward sons: a brother's prote - 7 uses
z p1: p: wayward sons: call of the wild - 14 uses
z p1: p: wayward sons: carry on - 4 uses
z p1: p: wayward sons: i'll be home - 3 uses
z p1: p: wayward sons: malibu madness - 24 uses
z p1: p: wayward sons: noise and confusi - 6 uses
z p1: p: wayward sons: stage of illusion - 8 uses
z p1: p: wayward sons: there will be pea - 16 uses
z p1: p: wendigo - 1 use
z p1: p: what am i doing here? - 7 uses
z p1: p: what goes around comes around - 12 uses
z p1: p: when it all goes wrong again - 15 uses
z p1: p: with malice aforethought - 49 uses
z p1: p: worlds on fire - 12 uses
z p1: p: zemo - 16 uses
z p1: t: elpis - 33 uses
z p1: t: elpis: alexander's wall - 6 uses
z p1: t: elpis: buzkashi - 11 uses
z p1: t: elpis: creations beautiful - 7 uses
z p1: t: elpis: epiphany frosts - 6 uses
z p1: t: elpis: great rift - 12 uses
z p1: t: elpis: red god - 7 uses
z p1: t: elpis: sanctuary - 2 uses
z p1: t: elpis: the gates - 36 uses
z p1: t: elpis: warumbe - 4 uses
z p1: t: elpis: xbalanque - 17 uses
z p1: t: new mutants - 2 uses
z p1: t: new mutants: afterlife - 10 uses
z p1: t: new mutants: community service - 6 uses
z p1: t: new mutants: dungeons and deran - 5 uses
z p1: t: new mutants: here comes tomorro - 3 uses
z p1: t: new mutants: midsummer's nightm - 12 uses
z p1: t: new mutants: modern nature - 3 uses
z p1: t: new mutants: reefer madness - 5 uses
z p1: t: new mutants: scribblenauts - 7 uses
z p1: t: new mutants: she sells sea shel - 5 uses
z p1: t: new mutants: so you want to be - 7 uses
z p1: t: red-x - 8 uses
z p1: t: red-x: dangerous load - 15 uses
z p1: t: red-x: firestorm - 8 uses
z p1: t: red-x: hurricane charley - 3 uses
z p1: t: red-x: king tide - 12 uses
z p1: t: red-x: living pele - 2 uses
z p1: t: red-x: plattsburgh - 3 uses
z p1: t: red-x: reconstruction - 21 uses
z p1: t: red-x: rising waters - 14 uses
z p1: t: red-x: whistler - 15 uses
z p1: t: red-x: whiteout - 13 uses
z p1: t: x-corps - 8 uses
z p1: t: x-corps: breaking the world - 6 uses
z p1: t: x-factor - 7 uses
z p1: t: x-factor: any port in a storm - 10 uses
z p1: t: x-factor: cat vs. bird - 5 uses
z p1: t: x-factor: cathouse - 22 uses
z p1: t: x-factor: dinosaur bugaloo - 10 uses
z p1: t: x-factor: district x inferno - 4 uses
z p1: t: x-force - 20 uses
z p1: t: x-force: body snatchers - 4 uses
z p1: t: x-force: broken ground - 2 uses
z p1: t: x-force: cruel country - 9 uses
z p1: t: x-force: dead letter office - 10 uses
z p1: t: x-force: dogs of war - 8 uses
z p1: t: x-force: don't leave me with th - 5 uses
z p1: t: x-force: excelsior east - 9 uses
z p1: t: x-force: flesh mechanic - 9 uses
z p1: t: x-force: godhand - 10 uses
z p1: t: x-force: lie back and think of - 6 uses
z p1: t: x-force: london calling - 14 uses
z p1: t: x-force: louisiana lowdown - 6 uses
z p1: t: x-force: man of stone - 8 uses
z p1: t: x-force: melittology - 8 uses
z p1: t: x-force: opening salvo - 12 uses
z p1: t: x-force: poisoned honey - 7 uses
z p1: t: x-force: red letter day - 8 uses
z p1: t: x-force: sanguinicity - 11 uses
z p1: t: x-force: shaboom - 17 uses
z p1: t: x-force: take a bow - 16 uses
z p1: t: x-force: teenage wasteland - 22 uses
z p1: t: x-force: the pontchartrain stra - 10 uses
z p1: t: x-force: tower of babble - 3 uses
z p1: t: x-force: xorn - 11 uses
z p1: t: x-force: зимний солдат - 8 uses
z p1: t: x-men - 45 uses
z p1: t: x-men: adirondacks - 2 uses
z p1: t: x-men: alcatraz - 5 uses
z p1: t: x-men: any other world - 2 uses
z p1: t: x-men: becket - 3 uses
z p1: t: x-men: believing is seeing - 9 uses
z p1: t: x-men: blessed are the peacemak - 14 uses
z p1: t: x-men: bombing at disneyworld - 4 uses
z p1: t: x-men: cornered - 3 uses
z p1: t: x-men: day zero the movie - 2 uses
z p1: t: x-men: fin fang foom!!! - 5 uses
z p1: t: x-men: firefountain - 4 uses
z p1: t: x-men: fury said to a mouse - 9 uses
z p1: t: x-men: haunted house - 7 uses
z p1: t: x-men: jailbreak - 12 uses
z p1: t: x-men: joyful noixe - 10 uses
z p1: t: x-men: keep the faith - 12 uses
z p1: t: x-men: krakoa - 6 uses
z p1: t: x-men: leverage - 3 uses
z p1: t: x-men: lost child - 2 uses
z p1: t: x-men: mercy flight - 4 uses
z p1: t: x-men: merry christmas magneto - 4 uses
z p1: t: x-men: minitooth - 10 uses
z p1: t: x-men: mlf - 5 uses
z p1: t: x-men: most dangerous game - 5 uses
z p1: t: x-men: mutant michelangelo - 4 uses
z p1: t: x-men: mutant mole people - 1 use
z p1: t: x-men: nicobar reef - 4 uses
z p1: t: x-men: nimrod - 6 uses
z p1: t: x-men: plant life - 5 uses
z p1: t: x-men: pyro - 9 uses
z p1: t: x-men: resurrection man - 1 use
z p1: t: x-men: roller derby queen - 15 uses
z p1: t: x-men: rubicon - 6 uses
z p1: t: x-men: sangue puro - 5 uses
z p1: t: x-men: scary little blonde girl - 2 uses
z p1: t: x-men: the empty quarter - 3 uses
z p1: t: x-men: the grotesque and the su - 5 uses
z p1: t: x-men: the perfect nanny - 2 uses
z p1: t: x-men: the rose - 5 uses
z p1: t: x-men: things that go boom - 1 use
z p1: t: x-men: who you gonna call? - 8 uses
z p1: t: x-men: who's the thief - 2 uses
z p1: t: x-men: without a trace - 1 use
z p1: t: x-men: x-mas in milwaukee - 8 uses

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