To: Ramsey, Doug
From: D'Ancato, Marie
Hopefully the subject line gets you to open this email.
I don't know what happened, Doug. I don't know what you were thinking or not thinking. When I finally put enough of the pieces together to realize that someone had made me fall in love with you and that someone might have been you, I threw up. /You/ of all people. /You/, the impossible one, the white knight in training. Part of me wants to scream -Why did you do this?- and the rest of me is praying that it wasn't you and then I'm scared. Because maybe it was you and it wasn't you at once. Because if I can be made to ruin what I love, then so can you.
When you left me, I went and told Logan we couldn't be together anymore. Just so you know that. He's my best friend in the world and I couldn't lie to him, not for a second. He just told me to give him a couple days and we'd be okay. That was all. Oh. God. I've never seen his face go pale that way before. I want you to know, not to hurt you but so you know what this did to /him/. He understands now but I'd rather die than hurt him like that again. Stay away from him. I don't want him pushed into hurting you. He doesn't deserve that. He doesn't deserve any of this.
Tell me what happened. Please. I need to know so I can start putting the pieces together. Tell me it won't happen again, won't come back. I can't live with it if it does. I'd rather die than hurt anyone against my will. I've been made to do it, or set to the task, and I'm only glad it'd have killed me in the end if it'd worked. Never again. Just tell me the truth so I can put things back together, so I know what I have to do, what I have to try and protect myself against.
I'm so angry right now and there's no one to hurt and nothing to fight. Somewhere in me, I'm clinging to the idea that this was all a big mistake. If it wasn't, I don't think I'll ever be the same again.
From: D'Ancato, Marie
Hopefully the subject line gets you to open this email.
I don't know what happened, Doug. I don't know what you were thinking or not thinking. When I finally put enough of the pieces together to realize that someone had made me fall in love with you and that someone might have been you, I threw up. /You/ of all people. /You/, the impossible one, the white knight in training. Part of me wants to scream -Why did you do this?- and the rest of me is praying that it wasn't you and then I'm scared. Because maybe it was you and it wasn't you at once. Because if I can be made to ruin what I love, then so can you.
When you left me, I went and told Logan we couldn't be together anymore. Just so you know that. He's my best friend in the world and I couldn't lie to him, not for a second. He just told me to give him a couple days and we'd be okay. That was all. Oh. God. I've never seen his face go pale that way before. I want you to know, not to hurt you but so you know what this did to /him/. He understands now but I'd rather die than hurt him like that again. Stay away from him. I don't want him pushed into hurting you. He doesn't deserve that. He doesn't deserve any of this.
Tell me what happened. Please. I need to know so I can start putting the pieces together. Tell me it won't happen again, won't come back. I can't live with it if it does. I'd rather die than hurt anyone against my will. I've been made to do it, or set to the task, and I'm only glad it'd have killed me in the end if it'd worked. Never again. Just tell me the truth so I can put things back together, so I know what I have to do, what I have to try and protect myself against.
I'm so angry right now and there's no one to hurt and nothing to fight. Somewhere in me, I'm clinging to the idea that this was all a big mistake. If it wasn't, I don't think I'll ever be the same again.