Log - Angelo and Marie

[x-skin.livejournal.com]

As soon as Logan had left to go teach his classes, having explained what favour
he wanted, Angelo made for the elevator as quickly as he could, pacing worriedly
until it arrived. When he reached the third floor, he was out of the doors and
halfway to Logan's room before they'd even finished opening. Arriving at the
door, he knocked quietly and waited for Marie's response.

The door unlocked after a moment and Marie opened it, pale-faced and bundled up
in pyjamas and a flannel shirt that were obviously Logan's. "Hi," she said in a
subdued voice. "You're the babysitter, eh?" Her eyes were puffy and red-rimmed
from recent crying.

Angelo nodded. "If that's how you wanna put it. Can I come in?"

"You better," Marie stepped back to let him in. "I did promise." She let him
in and then closed and locked the door behind him. Her hands, when they emerged
from the too-long sleeves of the shirts she wore, were bare. "Have a seat."
There were two chairs and a windowseat in the far corner and Marie's laptop sat
open on the table between them.

Angelo walked over to curl up on the windowseat, behind the laptop. "How are
you?" he asked softly, knowing she wasn't okay, but figuring it was as good a
conversation-starter as any, if she wanted to talk.

"Bad." She sat down in the chair she'd been in when he knocked and put her
hands between her knees to stop them from shaking. Her gaze fell on the laptop
and she stared at it without seeing it at all. "I'm trying to be reasonable in
public, so to speak. I guess I don't want anyone to know how bad. It'd only
make things worse."

Angelo nodded. "You're allowed not to be okay, though", he reminded her
quietly. "Even if it's not in public."

Marie stared at nothing in silence before she spoke, almost inaudibly. "I
couldn't stop it, Angelo. I know in my heart it was a mistake they made but
what it means for me...." She shook her head. "I could have gone the rest of
my life and been unsuspecting. If Amanda could do that on a whim, what could
someone else do?" Her face was drained of all colour now and her eyes were
huge. "And I want to think I'm just being paranoid and stupid, right? And I'd
say, 'who'd want me? who knows?' only I know their names and faces..."

Angelo sighed and held out his arms. "Come here", he said softly. "They're not
gonna get you. They're never gonna get you again, okay?"

Marie crept over to Angelo and crawled into his arms, shaking. "They did. He
did." She started to cry. "It was the first thing I thought when I realized
what happened when I'd killed Stanley. Who knows? Who's going to use me?" Her
fingers knotted in his shirt and she huddled against his chest. "And I'd say
that I was arrogant or stupid but... it happened once. And what if /he/ knows?
What if /they/ know? I don't want them to turn me into a monster. I don't want
to hurt my friends. I had nightmares about it last night... "

Angelo just held her, stroking her hair. "You're not arrogant, or stupid,
Marie. Just scared. An' God knows you've got a right to be. But listen to me
now - we will never let them get you again. Trust me on that."

"I don't care what happens to me." Sobs wrenched at her and her tears soaked
Angelo's shirt. "As long as someone makes me stop. I don't want to do what I
dream of, Angelo. You'll tell them that if it happens, right? That it doesn't
matter what they do to me?" It would have been so simple for them back at the
statue, so simple just to kill her and end it. She hated the idea of Scott or
whoever'd done it having it on their hands, but it would have been simple and it
would have been over and she hoped so hard that they'd never look back and
regret taking the other road.

"I'll tell them", Angelo promised. He hesitated, before adding reluctantly,
"I'll even... I'll even do it myself, if it's what you want."

He'd be low on the list of targets, if someone used her, Marie thought. Logan
would be first, if they were smart. Then Piotr, perhaps. Who knew? But
Angelo... his mutation wouldn't make her strong enough to be worth picking early
on. And she knew he had it in him. "I trust you to do what's gotta be done,"
she said simply, her tears easing a little. "I... thank you... I'm sorry..."
Words weren't coming to her well, her mind was a jumble of fear and sorrow. "I
know how you feel but... you'd be giving me back to myself. You know how I feel
about that..."

Angelo nodded. "I know", he said simply. "I won't let it happen, I swear."

"You're a good friend, Angelo." Marie nestled up against him and sighed
shakily. "The best. You really are. I knew you'd get it." She wondered
whether she'd pushed Logan to leave just for this, just so she could hear the
reassurance from another voice that understood.

Angelo let her snuggle close, still holding her comfortingly. "I do get it", he
said quietly. "But just promise me..." He trailed off, uncertain of what he'd
meant to say. "Promise me you're absolutely sure of this. 'Cause I
don't know if I can... go through with it unless I know it's what you'd
want."

Marie pushed herself back enough so she could look at him, wiping her eyes with
the cuff of one sleeve. "Angelo, if I'm not me anymore, and they say they can't
get me back, then tell them and do everything you can to make it stop. I will
love you for it, if you keep me from losing myself and becoming what I hate.
And I am so, /so/ sorry to ask it of you, I wouldn't but... forgive me for
asking?" She closed her eyes and put her face in her hands. "I'm so afraid of
myself. I've thought of just... doing it myself just in case, but I don't want
to go..." She started to cry again.

Angelo put his arms around her, drawing her into another hug. "Of course I
forgive you. And don't you dare do it yourself, Marie D'Ancato. Don't you dare
leave this place before you need to, 'cause you may never need to."

"I know," she said after she had cried a little longer. "I don't want to leave.
It's just so hard. I know what I am and I know what's in me and...it's hard and
if I slip and fail and hurt people, it's all my fault. Irresponsible and
selfish."

"And if you don't?" Angelo asked her. "If you stay, and you work at it all you
have to, and you don't fail? Wouldn't that be worth it?"

Marie nodded. "That's what I decided after Stanley." Her voice was a little
muffled against Angelo's shirt as she burrowed into his embrace. "I decided I
was going to take what I had and use it for all I was worth to make things
better. But it's a thin line some days between the risk and the gain and
yesterday... it got so thin I couldn't see it anymore."

Angelo stroked her hair soothingly, with a sigh. "We all feel like that, some
days..."

"He's the most important thing in my life, Angelo," Marie said quietly. "And I
walked up to him and told him it was over. And I was sorry I hurt him but I was
so very happy, and so sure it was right. If someone can do that to me for no
real reason at all..."

Angelo nodded, understanding. "We still don't really know what happened", he
reminded her. "I can't believe Doug'd do this on purpose..."

"I know. And that scares me too." Marie shivered. "God, I can't get warm.
I'm so scared, I'm scared /for/ him and even for Amanda, and... for all of us.
I want to know what happened."

Angelo concentrated and stretched the skin of his hands as far as he could make
it go (not as far as it used to be, some part of his mind noted) to spread over
her and try to warm her. "Amanda. Yeah. Don't know what the hell she
was thinking."

"Probably nothing at all," Marie said tiredly. "Sometimes people don't. I
hope she was just being thoughtless."

Angelo nodded. "'m more worried about how the potion got out", he said
pensively. "Doug just havin' it shouldn't've caused this, if I'm understandin'
right."

"Yeah." Marie's shivers and sobs were fading away and she relaxed against
Angelo's chest. "That. That is what worries me right now."

Another nod. "Can't think who would've done a thing like that."

"Me either, unless the kids were being silly." Marie yawned and stifled it with
one hand before clutching Angelo's shirt again. "How come you're so wonderful?"
she asked then, exhaustion making her tongue loose.

Angelo blinked down at her. "Am I? Don't know, really..."

"You are." Marie cuddled up closer, starting to drift. "You're a good friend."

Angelo held her securely, letting her drift. "So are you."

Warm and safe, Marie let herself fall asleep, comforted by being understood.
Angelo's arms held her securely, reminding her subconscious not to let her fly
away in her sleep.. Her hands kept their grip on Angelo's shirt until Logan,
coming back from his class, pried them free with his gloved hands and tucked her
into bed where she slept the rest of the long and dreamless afternoon.

Comments

[x-foliate.livejournal.com]

Yep, you're right. Really cute and really creepy all at the same time.