Home and Native Land: Coda

[x-dominion.livejournal.com]

Backdated. Lil makes a decision about returning.



She'd been hoping to find them together but with bags being packed and goodbyes being said, there wasn't much time left. Instead, Lil waited for the one man she needed to speak to; pacing a little ways down the hall from Hudson's office - former office - waiting for the Mountie to appear. It wasn't that surprising, really and she had the feeling they all suspected it anyway...

Then why was it so damn hard to say?

Lil stopped dead when Garrison exited the room then hurried to fall into step next to him. "Gar, can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Yeah." Garrison said, somewhat distracted. He was once again back in his red serge, the brown Stetson an odd contrast to his usual attire at the mansion. There were ceremonies still left to do, and another last round of arguments before he'd be back on the plane with the others. "Walk with me. I still need to see the Superintendent and the Director before we go."

"Won't take long, promise," she replied, her long strides making it easy to keep up with the Mountie. "I just wanted to say 'thank you' is all."

"Unless I somehow ordered you a fruit basket in my sleep, I don't know what you're referring to." Kane replied, his mind already on his upcoming meetings, and turning over the strange circumstances around finding one of Logan's old dogtags at the site.

"The shit I've put you through over the years with Vikks and then at the mansion again. Helping me get the job at Harry's. Being there after Heather's call." Lil swallowed hard and forced a small smile onto her lips. "I just wanted to let you know that I appreciate it and I don't think I've told you that before so I wanted to now before you left."

"Uh, sure. Okay." Garrison scratched the back of his head. "I appreciate the sudden need for closure, or, well, whatever. But couldn't this wait until we're on the plane or something?"

"Not unless you wanna take a midflight phone call," she chuckled dryly, her smile becoming more sincere but wistful as well. "I ain't gonna be on the plane, Gar. I'm staying here with Maddy."

The sounds of the footsteps died away as Kane stopped in the hall and looked at her. "You're kidding, right? Alpha Flight's got a stake through the heart, we've got maybe one lead to chase down, and you're going to stick around Ottawa in the meantime?"

Stopping next to him, Lil heaved a little sigh. "No, I'm not kidding, Gar. I'm staying here to be with my husband and help him recover. There's no Boxbot anymore, no BOX program even so he's gonna need me." The blow had already started to affect him though Lil knew she was being selfish, taking advantage of the biggest obstacle in their marriage no longer being an issue. "Gar, I can't get on a plane for New York again and leave him behind. Not when he's like this."

Kane bit back his first ascerbic comment, well aware that reminding her that it hadn't been a problem leaving him before would not go over well. He had no illusions where this was coming from. Lil felt guilty still for leaving Madison, and now with the Boxbot destroyed, she had the chance to exorcise that guilt while getting what she wanted in the first place.

"Lil, it's not that I don't understand here, but-" Kane stopped. He couldn't really tell her that this wasn't going to magically save her marriage, and all it would do was remove another resource in finding out who did this to Madison in the first place. But some lines you couldn't cross. He huffed into his beard, changing tracks.

"Alright. I'll let the Professor know, and get your stuff shipped up. You staying at Madison's place in Toronto?"

"The Professor knows. I called him a little while ago; thanked him for his hospitality and the lessons." Her eyes moved from Garrison's face to the floor, her fingers twisting the wedding ring on her left hand absently. "And don't worry about the stuff. I'll come and get it when I can. It'll give me a chance to say some goodbyes and all so storage is fine."

The question of her accomadations made her focus on him again and Lil swallowed hard, looking almost ashamed of her choice not to return with them. "I'm gonna stick around here; see if I can find an apartment or something until he's better. I'm keeping my reserve status but I don't think I'm gonna take anything else if it's offered. Not sure about Maddy but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. See what we decide to do." Together. She wasn't going to leave his side, not again and certainly not now.

"Yeah." Garrison muttered, turning over the situation. There really wasn't anything to say. She and Madison were still married, and with him hurting, Lil should be the one there to support him. He wasn't exactly sure why a vague forebodding about the whole thing was filling him.

"Look, uh, I assume that they'll transfer Madison down to Mount Sinai or something soon enough." Ottawa was the site of the funeral, but most of Department H's facilities were around the GTA, which is why Toronto was where most of them lived. "If you don't want to move into Madison's place right away, call Vikks. There's at least one spare bedroom in my mom's house, and it'll be close enough to the hospital until he gets out."

Lil nodded once more. "I'm gonna call her, see if she's available to come up for the weekend or something. I'll talk to her then but who knows?" she said with a touch of dry laughter in her voice and a shrug. "Maybe Madison'll remember something about who did this and he and I'll be knocking down the mansion's door in a month or two." The words sounded empty and ridiculous in her own ears.

Shifting her weight from one foot to the other, the blonde woman chewed on her bottom lip for a moment, trying to collect her words before continuing. "Too much is broken right now, Gar and I ain't... I can't try to fix Alpha and Madison at the same time. I gotta focus on one and right now, he's it. What's the point in trying to save the world when you don't got the one person you wanna share it with next to you? We've put each other through so much shit and I gotta see this to an end no matter what that ending is. For him and for me. You understand, right? You ain't mad at me?" In the years they'd worked together, Lil'd grown to respect the man before her - and to love him like a brother.

"Of course I'm not mad at you." Kane said, although he couldn't let his own worries that fixing wasn't going to be the end result of her decision. Madison had always been driven with the need to create; to add a new and unique contribution to engineering and science. Much like Forge, it meant that everything else could never be better than second place to that, and that was Lil's problem. She couldn't take anything being more important in his life than her, and Garrison had a very dark guess that the loss he'd taken would push her to second sooner rather than later.

"Just take care. Whatever the reason behind the attack, it's only the start of something bigger. There's nothing saying that we're not the next stage of the plan."

"All the more reason for someone to stay behind. Keep an eye on Madison and Juddsie in case someone tries to clean up loose ends from unfinished business." It wasn't a thought she liked to voice but it had played a heavy part in her decision to remain in Canada.

The gentle rock back and forth stopped when Lil took a step forward and awkwardly wrapped her arms around his shoulders, careful not to knock off his hat. "Try not to get your ass barbecued anymore. I'd rather Adrienne didn't take a trip up here just to curse me out."

"I think you're safe. She seems to be allergic to middle class."

Lil gave a waterly laugh and a brief squeeze but affectionate squeeze before stepping away, though she kept her chin high even as sadness started to well in her eyes. "I mean it; you gotta take care, too. And come visit sometime when it ain't work related."

"I have a feeling it's going to be busy for a while." He repositioned his hat, making sure it was set correctly, every inch the Mountie today. "Just keep your eyes and ears open, and don't make every waking moment about Madison. He's going to need time to sort shit out, and you playing naughty nurse isn't always going to be the answer to that, eh?"

"The man's all but confined to bed and I can't do a damn thing to enjoy it right now," she replied with a dry, sad chuckle. "I'm being good and following doctor's orders. But I'll let you know if I find aything suspicious."

"Good. I'll be in touch after Logan talks to this North. Maybe we'll actually have some clues to what the hell is going on." Kane took a deep breath, the red serge swelling with his broad chest. "Alright, Lil. Keep an eye on Madison. If there's anything I can do, you know where to find me."

Her shoulders dropped some and she gave her teammate another small nod. "I do. And hopefully after Maddy's back on his feet, I'll be down to say proper goodbyes to everyone - and buy you one last pint at Harry's." Lil chewed on her lip for a moment more then chucked her thumb down the hall behind them. "I'm gonna go check in on Madison again and let you get to your meetings. But seriously, Beaver Boy, what out for the torchblowers, eh?"