xp_logs | [Moira, Marie] Friday morning coffee...

Marie and Moira cross paths at the coffee maker and discuss coffee, the potion, Cain, Logan, and the duplicitous nature of the medlab.

What is in this stuff?!

Moira sat, slumped really, at the kitchen table, staring into her nearly empty coffee mug. She had lost count of how many times she had refilled the damn thing through the night. Two nights in a row of nearly no sleep...she shook her head and peered at the clock. Still rather early in the morning. She sighed and stretched slightly. Death warmed over was a good way of putting it.

The patter of feet signalled the arrival of a relatively small adult wearing sneakers. "Coffee!" Marie's voice held the tone of an archeologist catching a glimpse of the Holy Grail. She threw her jacket on the counter and made a beeline for the pot, catching a glimpse of Moira as she did so. "Good morning, Moira." Marie was wearing exercise clothes, had her hair in two braids (with sparkly heart bobbles), and looked remarkably chipper.

Moira raised an eyebrow at the sparkly bits and smiled wanly. "Good mornin', Marie...or should I say continued good evenin' as th' case were?" She nodded at the coffee pot. "Been brewed 'bout ten or so times, so ye may want ta be careful."

Marie eyed it and then poured herself a cup anyway. "I'm feeling brave." When she turned around she took in Moira's appearance and frowned. "Are you okay?"

"Glad ta see someone's brave 'bout me coffee, unlike Alison who screams like a wee lass whenever she see's it." She shrugged in answer to the question. "Exhausted...'tis been a rough week an' I've nay been sleepin' well...or at all, really." She paused. "An' yerself?"

"Guess." Marie rolled her eyes and came over to sit across from Moira. "Pretty shitty, honestly, on and off. I've covered my classes the last two days and cut bursting into tears down to a minimum. I'm trying to keep it together."

"I'm sorry. Is there anythin' I can do?"

Marie shrugged. "Probably not. It's just... There's plenty of reason to be fearful and sometimes people aren't what they seem. I know in my head that it was a stupid prank and an accident but the implications are still shaking me hard. Nothing's going to change that because, frankly, it's just the truth I wasn't seeing being revealed."

"Th' trut' ye weren't seein'?" Moira didn't know if she should ask...as close as they had come, her questioning Logan may have made a break in that. But it had to be done and there had been a line crossed somewhere.

"That I could be used again that easily." Marie leaned back in her chair, holding her cup tightly. "If she'd made that potion for someone else, I could cut a swath through here the likes of which would make people beg Pete to bring back his bad-hats. And... that scares the hell out of me."

She starts to spout off "It'll be okays" but she stops and realizes that sometimes fear has to be the deciding emotion. "Fear...I was goin' ta say it'll be okay, an' it probably will be after a while. But fer now...I know there's nay much I can say or do ta 'elp, but I'm 'ere if'n ye need anythin'."

"Thanks." Marie took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "It's just another... not-safe, you know? In my own home. It'll pass. If I thought that this feeling, this fear, was the real situation? I wouldn't be talking to you right now. I wouldn't put people at risk that way."

"It's nay a good feelin', bein' scared." Moira gazed into the mug, seeing her own reflection in the black depths. "Feel everythin' slip away an' yer left wit'...what, self? An' sometimes self changes, or we purposly change self ta escape."

Marie laughed. "Selves," she said with emphasis on the plural. "The more afraid I am, the harder it is to have a /self/."

Moira glanced up. "Yer nay th' kind ta give up. Th' more afraid ye get, th' harder ye seem ta fight. An' that is self." She remembers a time when -her- self was nearly lost. Not to powers, not to outside danger, but to the bottle. Long days of research and drive, long nights of drinking.

"I guess so. Being able to fight is a gift." Marie sipped at her coffee, not making a face at the strength of it. "I've been helpless before and hell if I'm going there voluntarily, ever." She looked across and met Moira's gaze. "Thanks for having faith in me. You seem to come around with it at the right times."

She smiles. "I may 'ave lost fait' in somethin's," she responded, with a quick glance up, "but never in me friends. I tend ta hook up wit' some stron' minded people. Besides, I know what it's like ta lose fait' in yerself, in th' world around ye...it 'elps ta 'ave people ta trust an' back ye up."

Marie smiled softly at that. "Yeah. Logan does a good job of it on his own, but it all helps."

Moira hesitated. "'ow is Logan doin'?"

Marie gave a non-committal twitch of her shoulders. "It's hard to tell, you know? He's not the real expressive type a lot of the time." She bit her lip. "I hurt the hell out of him. And it wasn't even real. You'd think if you caused a man that kind of pain, it could at least be real, right? But, no. Just like the physical... can cut him open and it hurts like anyone else, but you'll never see the evidence, so people kind of assume he never felt the pain."

Nodding, Moira sighed. "People deal wit' pain in so many different ways...if'n ye block it out an' dinnae show tha' it 'urts, people think ye cannae feel it. If'n ye show it, people think ye're weak." Shaking her head, Moira stood up and went over to the coffee pot. "I'm jus' concerned...we 'ave ta be so careful right now. Lines we 'ave ta realize are there, words we cannae say. 'Tis 'ard bein' a teacher sometimes, especially now."

"I know. It is for me." Marie sighed wearily. "And if you're referring to Logan, he's not really a teacher. Charles just keeps asking him to cover things and he does because, well, I'm here and it's not like he's going anywhere without me. But... he's trying. He is. We talked about it. It's so outside of everything he is, but he tries, for me."

"Tha's good...tryin' is good. Doesna 'elp tha' most o' th' student body is scared shitless o' him."

Marie laughed a little derisively. "That's because they don't know him. And I don't necessarily mean what a sweet man he is. I mean more, they don't know everything he doesn't do and how much discipline he really has. I don't want to change him," she admitted. "But I can't leave. And he's not going to leave me unless it's bad for me for him to stay. So he changes himself."

"Ye change fer people who matter...an' ye change when ye los..." She coughed and shook her head. "Amazin' what one can do t' yerself, aye?"

"Pretty much," Marie said solemnly. "Look, about the whole thing on the staff boards... Just so you know, you're right to question. If a student says something like that, about anyone, it's got to be questioned. Cain..." She sighed heavily. "That was very much not okay. Accusations... I didn't cope so well with that. I wish I'd handled it better."

"Cain's an asshole," Moira said bluntly. "'e's...well, 'e's me friend, but he's too blunt. Too overboard."

"See, if he were just /horrid/, I'd ignore him," Marie said, frustrated. "But he's /not/. So. I can't just write him off."

"Trust me, lass, I completely understand ye. When 'e's not blowin' smoke out o' his ass, he's fun ta be around."

"Well, if he'd leave Logan the hell alone, we'd all be fine." Marie's expression turned icy. "But, evidently that's not in his game plan. And I want to smack him upside the head for it."

"'tis nay like they'll actually get inta it...I 'ope. I think things'll start to smoothen out, soon."

"They'd better bloody not. It'd ruin my reputation as a nice person to have to kick both their asses into next week." Marie's tone was perfectly serious underneath the obvious irritation.

Moira's mouth twitched slightly. "An' if'n ye didnae 'andle them, I'd spike their coffee wit' somethin'." She grinned. "'Tis me only ability these days."

"Don't think I can't," Marie said with a cool look. "But maybe we'll try for something happy in the coffee first. You know. My reputation and all..."

"Aye, we need ta keep tha' goin' stron'...an' trust me, I know ye could."

Marie smiled at Moira. "Yeah. You saw what I did to that poor, innocent medlab." She giggled then. "And it was all steel and safetyglass and concrete minding its own business."

"Nay, I think it was askin' fer it, really." She grinned, slightly punch happy.

"Well, it was a little smug about me being stuck there," Marie said in a mock-serious tone. "And it did start it, smacking me in the face with that security door."

She nodded seriously. "Aye, twas jus' askin' ta be smacked. Evil medlab, suckin' people in there all th' time...'bout time someone showed it whose boss."

Marie laughed and looked into her coffee cup. "What did you put in this batch, woman?"

"Th' normal...brewed 10 times, molasses instead o' sugar, tha' sort o' thin'." She sighed mournfully. "Me personal coffee pot broke, I 'ope I dinnae put Lorna's ta rest as well."

"I think we need to experiment with new, stronger materials to further your coffee research, Moira," Marie said, getting to her feet. "I'm sure it could be used as a tool for world peace... whether as a mood-altering substance or a mutual enemy remains to be see, though."

She perked. "Stronger coffee? Aye, I'm all fer tha'...currently, it can clean silver..."

"Maybe we can get it to clear people's prejudices one of these days." Marie put her cup in the dishwasher. "Something's got to do it, right? Thanks for the coffee and the chat, Moira You'll get some rest soon, right?"

"Aye, I'll try. An' yer welcome...thank ye fer the company, I nee..." She paused as her beeper went off. Alarmed, she grabbed it and eyed the number. She had gotten the pager programmed to notify her when she received e-mail. But this was from one of her rarely used accounts. "Damn...somethin's up...I need ta check on somethin'...talk ta ye later?"

"You know where I am if you need me," Marie said with a smile. "I'll see you later."