xp_logs | Jay & Nico, Jay and Hank then Jay and Nico again

Nico startles Jay in the greenhouse and reprocussions are not as bad as they could have been.

Just when Nico was confident the Mansion was no longer an alien place where new things appeared out of nowhere, she found the Greenhouse.

Great, just geat; it was as if the place grew on her sleep! Her inner rant was cut when she noticed something blue moving in there.

"Hello?"

There was a loud bang and then a flash of metal.

"No! No! No! No!!" Jay's arms threw back as his wings lunged forward but stopped a fraction from Nico's face.

Nico was unable to move and inch, and yeah, she was trembling, or just beginning to, since she hadn't realized what was going on. All she knew was that someone had done something wrong, and she had just kept her face intact by something that could be very well considered luck.

"S-sorry?"

The points of the metal wings drew back, taking three pots with it as Jay tried to manuver them within the greenhouse. "Jesus Christ, knock next time kay?" he hissed as his hand reached out, catching one more pot, only grabbing the catcus side and dropping it anyways. He cursed and grit his teeth, feeling like an oversized mutant in a glass store. "You gotta knock," he continued on, not waiting for her response. "Cause... cause... " his voice shook as he looked down at his hand, trying to pluck the needles from his own adrenline trembling hands. "Just cause, okay?"

Wait, did I just almost get killed?

Nico blinked, not really paying attention. "I said sorry...", muttered again. "Okay, dude, stop moving." Nico stepped towards Jay, wondering if she was going to get stabbed, but also wanting to put some authority to her words. "The more you move, the worst it is; can't you just stop moving for a second? Things tend to get a lot clearer when you are trying to actually look at them."

"Don't... touch me," Jay pulled his hand away, although he took an aggressive step towards her, menacing feathers rippling and separating. "Just get out."

Nico looked at him, apparently not moving an inch even when the boy seemed ready to tear her apart. Finally, she seemed to change her posture. "Whatever", said, only then taking a small step backwards. Turning away, Nico crossed her arms around her chest, nothing else to say apparently.

"Just whatever."

The door slammed behind her, the points of two wings slicing through before they thrusted out and disappeared. "Ugh, Stupid!" could be heard from the other side of the door, though it was vague on whether Jay was talking to her or referring to himself.

-------

Jay follows up with Hank and they establish a remedy that might help Jay with his control.

"...and Ah can't even see 'em to get em' out cause of this blue hand bullshit. Not that Ah could've seen 'em before but she like, kept walkin' towards me and Ah was getting mad and Ah don't know why." He was getting angrier while sitting there, talking about it and Jay pressed his other hand to his forehead, glancing to the side and watching Hank pluck the small cactus needles out, one by one under the microscope.

"Ah'm like way more skiddish than Ah've ever been in mah life. Like ya think with prey instinct, Ah would be more so, but no, Ah got some other shit going on that makes me jump like Ah'm itchin'--"

"I still can't comprehend why you saved this plant instead of one of those with less of a built in defense mechanism," Hank gingerly plucked another one of the tiny needles from Jay's hand. "Which is to say, I do understand why you did what you did and applaud your apparent restraint from murdering a student, but at the same time...it's a cactus, Jay." A small pile of needles sat in a bowl to his left, the magnifying mirror was the only light source in the infirmary.

"Ah know... Ah just don't, yanno? Like Ah got more mad as she stood there, like she was gonna challenge me. Ah didn't know she was a student. How was Ah suppose to know that?" Just like he had trouble gaging a hostage in the DR. "Ah feel like Ah just took a huge step back in progress here. All that work in the dangerroom--"

Hank pulled the last needle he could see, "Actually Jay, from what you've told me I'm severely impressed with you. After running the blood work I must say that your DNA is quite fascinating." Setting down the medical tweasers, the doctor began to turn the hand over, making sure there weren't any more. "The behavior you described is very much that of an alpha predator. The fact you were able to restrain yourself...that's actually quite hopeful."

"But hows that hopeful? Ah'm on the lowest setting in the Danger room. Like, prolly lower than anyone else. Ah mean, we knew that before, sorta, cause Jean talked about it, but she wasn't really able to give me some sure answers." That and Jay wasn't keen on having testing done at that point. He was more than ready now, willing to learn more about it, see if he could adapt to it better. "It's like everytime Ah think Ah'm taking a step forward, it's more like Ah'm taking a step backwards, yanno?"

It would be hard to convince Jay he'd made progress by doing this, "Alright, that should do it, don't move just yet, I'm going to have you soak it." Hank mixed a bottle of saline solution, a touch of iodine and hydrogen peroxide into a dish, then took Jay's hand and carefully dipped it inside the liquid. "This will disinfect the wounds and help heal them up. I know you have a healing factor, but better safe than sorry, right?"

"Well Ah would've just waited for the healin' to just push out the needles but Ah gotta write stuff up fer class today and Ah'm already behind. Don't need this and then need sleep cause Ah got dumb in the greenhouse. Ah guess Ah should probably apologize to that girl, what's her name - Nico or Megan, one of em."

"From what you told me," Hank pulled the file he had up her picture, "was this her?"

"Yeah that's her," he looked at the name. "Nico. Thanks Hank. Might make me a bit of a fool if Ah go knockin on the wrong door and stuff. Ah don't really know how to explain it, maybe Ah'll just go for the sorry part and wing it?" he joked lamely.

"Can't hurt," he chuckled, "though if you let it go a week, I'm sure she'd forget. She's a teenager according to this." Settling back onto his rolling stool, Hank brought up a main display with his netbook and accessed Jay's blood work. "I compared your DNA to the sample we had on file from when you were a student. Now, please keep calm when I tell you this, but there have been significant altercations to your genetic structure."

"Okay.." came Jay's reluctant reply. He stayed where he was,letting his hand soak while Hank brought things up on screen, eyes fixed to it as though he had an understanding, despite the fact that he really didn't. The doctor had his full attention.

"Now, my theory is that the physical changes, combined with the genetic altercations and the trauma of these things combined has changed your personality into a more predatory like state." He hoped this was plain enough for the younger man, "You said you wanted to attack Miss Minoru, because it felt like she was challenging you." Taking a step toward Jay, Hank looked him in the eyes, "Tell me, does this feel like a challenge to you?" Rolling back his lips slightly, Hank bared his teeth, the primal sign for any mammalian species in conflict.

Jay opened his mouth and an involentary coil in his throat came out. He cleared it, covering his mouth as he spoke. "Yeah sorta," although his voice changed a lot. "But she startled me too. Like anythin' that startles--" another coil caught in his throat and he cleared it again."Hank can ya stop doin' that please?"

Hank averted his eyes and shifted his head to the side slightly, the universal sign of submission. "I think that answers our question," with a sigh he turned back to the screen. "I'm going to have to run more tests to determine the exact changes that have taken place, Jay."

"Jesus christ, Ah'm actin' like a friggin' animal," he dispaired. "Ah always act like it now, especially when Ah'm around Kyle or somethin. How am Ah gonna get past this?" He felt like a broken record because as much as he tried to ignore it, he was always thinking about it.

With a slight sigh, the older, bluer, mutant selected his words carefully. "I wish I could tell you that there's a switch you can flip on or off and things will be better but there's not. For now, I'd like to start you on some anxiety medication. I'll run the blood work to see if we can find something that wont get rejected by your healing factor."

"Well Kyle don't need medication, neither does Logan," that he knew of. "So what makes me different, cept that Ah' an't a natural uh... feral, Ah guess?" He didn't think he was actually the feral type, instead classifying himself as more of something separate from that.

"Yes, but neither Kyle nor Logan are worried about injuring people to the point that it is causing them anxiety," Hank smiled and reached out to put a hand on Jay's shoulder. "It's up to you though, I can't force you to take anything. Even if I think it's in your best interest."

Jay shrugged. "Ah reckon it ain't gonna kill me and anythin's good right now. Huh? Want me to come back for it or something? Amelia's gonna think Ah was fightin' again if she sees me."

"Instead of coming back, why don't you just come find me tomorrow and I'll give you your prescription." Hank gave Jay's shoulder a squeeze, "Things will turn out, Jay."

"Yeah Ah reckon they will. Everyone just keeps sayin' its gonna take time. Ah'll see ya then about 'em drugs. Guess Ah gotta go apologize to some girl Ah don't know. Let ya know how that goes."

-------

Jay goes to apologize to Nico but it ends badly again when she insists on helping him.

Running a hand through his hair, he couldn't help the wings that loomed behind him as he briefly knocked on the door, anxiousness racking him despite the pills that he took Hank. He'd gone over it with Amelia, just so he wouldn't get hell from the last time he took medications and she had agreed, suggesting that it was possible he needed a little more help, something to bring him down a few notches but it would take a few days to work.

To him, those days couldn't come soon enough.

Bending over the sewing machine, headphones blasting Slipknot and finally having her favourite hobby back -or at least until she had to return the borrowed machine-, Nico almost didn't hear the know on the door. Pausing the music, the girl wondered if it was Megan returning. To put it in a simple way, Nico was a mess; her raven hair was partly on a ponytail, while the rest fell to the sides, and she was wearing what could have easily been her pajamas, or some sort of terribly generic grey sweatshirt and running pants; even more, she didn't have an ounce of makeup o her, and for all she knew, she hadn't taken a bath yet; she liked sewing _that_ much.

"Hm? Come in." Well, if Megan saw her like that it wouldn't be such a big thing, considered the winged girl saw her wake up every single day.

The door opened and Jay stepped in, but stopped at the door, hesitating. "Hey," He said, although her intial reaction, he knew, would be enough to say an apology and sweep out of there. He felt like the king of assholes, standing there and pulled on the hollows of his cheeks, smiling slightly. "Ah can come back--" he gestured over his shoulder.

Nico's cheeks got a little redder when she realized it wasn't Megan, after all; this were the moments she would like to have some enhanced senses, at least! Standing when Jay was still talking, the girl hurriedly undid the ponytail, making her sweatshirt rise over her belly; the thing didn't only look old, but it was a little small to her. "Hm, crap," said as she looked around, grabbing some clothes on her bedroom. "No need to leave," said as she picked them up and then bolted to the bathroom. "I'm all ears, just keep talking."

Moments later the shower could be heard. "I'm listening!"

Jay covered an uncomfortable cough and his wings shifted restlessly. Oh hell... he thought. So much for getting the apology out to her face. Ducking beneath the ceiling fan, he went over to the door and stood beside it so she could hear him, leaning on the frame.

"Well, Ah uh..." Another cough. "Well, Ah'm sorry about, you know, scarin' you and swearin'--" had he sworn? He couldn't remember. "Ah didn't mean anything by it."

Jay could count two minutes before the shower died, and then there was a series of sounds of clothes against skin. The door opened to show Nico washed, and dressed more like her, with a simple black top and a black skirt with leggings under it; the black eyeliner was also there as well. She was barefoot, but at least looked more like her than the girl Jay had found sewing. "Oh, boy; you did mean every word of it." Nico passed next to Jay, and grabbed a pair of socks from her closet. "That doesn't mean you apology is less valuable...or unexpected." Sitting on her bed, the girl took a couple of seconds to look at him. "I wasn't really scared; a bit concerned about you, yeah, but I stopped caring about my well being a while ago." A smile followed, and Nico continued with putting the socks on. "I wanted to apologize as well, for entering the greenhouse like that, without asking. I guess some people like their privacy..."

She started to go red again, remembering how she looked just moments ago.

"No no, Jay said, following her and realized he was doing something of stalking and drew back, drawing the pair of wings back too. "The greenhouse is open to everyone, it's just that not everyone's ever in there. Maybe Kyle sometimes or Ororo - Ms. Munroe, Ah mean, but other than that, it's usually just me." Scratching the back of his head, he made a conscious effort to take two steps back and gestured helplessly. "Ah just didn't expect it, that's all."

"Look, I won't deny I'm surprised to took the work to come here and apologize, when I can see you aren't comfortable with it, and I'm grateful for that; it means a lot to me, actually." Standing, Nico reached for the only pair of boots she had, the ones she was using when teleporting to the mansion. "I think I understand the fact there is something going on with you that makes you more irritable than you normally would be, right? It's all a supposition, since I haven't asked anyone about it, but I'm good with details, and yeah, I can even bet it's related to those wings of you that move as if they had a brain on their own."

The girl stood, and cut the space between her and Jay again, apparently completely comfortable with the proximity, not only to him, but to the named wings. "The question that matters is: how do we solve it?"

Jay clearly took a step back, pressing down his impulse to step forward, clearing his throat. "This," he gestured between them. "It ain't workin, Ah need more space, like steppin' into me ain't good. That's one way to solve it cause Ah ain't lookin' fer trouble, but it finds me just fine." He didn't understand why she kept pushing into him and the fact that it resonated from his wings so much wasn't good at all.

Nico seemed to be making discoveries, or actually having life with the whole life risking. Or both. At any rate, she seemed to understand taking more risks wouldn't end well. "I see...it works as some sort of, uhm, impulse? When I bleed, I have the _need_ to summon the Staff of One, and eight out of ten time I will, so I get that much. Of course, in your case..." Nico nodded to herself, and then looked back at Jay. "Okay...have you tried meditation? Or I don't know, yoga, or a mantra of sorts; thing is, when you feel like you are being pushed, looking beyond the easy way out -which in your case seems to be tearing apart stuff- should force you to think on what you are doing." Nico almost started walking in circles, but she simply placed a hand on her waist.

"If you are wondering, I'm good with people; not good to the point to make them act the way I want, but good enough to know half the time we do stuff we don't mean just because we don't put our mind on it."

Jay shook his head. "No, it ain't like what yer thinkin'." Hands were shoved into pockets and he shook his head again, closing his eyes before reopening them, trying to cool that nervous habit. "This ain't like this," he repeated. "Ah gotta go. Ah just... wantedto apologize," he said before half turning to grab the knob, though ever careful that he didn't turn his back on her and his metal feathers rippled in irritation.

"Oh no; you came here, now you deal with this." Nico sat on her bed, and motioned him to come and sit. "Come on, let me help, or at least let me think I can help you; whatever make you feel better; running away will only make you trip and hurt yourself, or someone else."
Of course, Jay could leave there, and Nico wouldn't do a thing to stop him, but she wished he at least allowed her to try.

He hesitated and wished he hadn't because it was what made him turn around after a moment and lean against the doorknob, closing the door. "Ah ain't runnin' away," he said somewhat defensively. "Ah'm keepin' you safe.. sorta."

"Believe me, I know a thing or two about running away. Also, I didn't asked for you to keep me safe, sorta. Look, if it works, then I had a point. If it doesn't, you can say you tried; no big deal." Nico patted a space on her bed a bit away from here. "Now, come here, or, I don't know, sit where you are."

He tucked his hands under his arm pits and stayed where he was. "Ah can't." It was visibly easy to see why.

So the wings wouldn't help them? Well, Nico then decided she was going to take advantage of that. Standing up, she gave two steps towards Jay, but stopped at a somewhat considerable distance. "Okay, you obviously see me as some sort of threat at some level; not the kind of menace to you, but mostly because you can't be sure I'll be fine around you." Nico collected her thoughts, trying to sound as confident as she wanted to actually feel. "We are going to use that. Since I know and you know that me being close makes you go all jumpy and dangerous, we are going to focus on how you feel, and then control it consciously. It sounds silly, but believe me, it works wonders."

Nico tried to smile, but she decided to give him a reassuring nod. "Okay, close your eyes and focus on how you felt when I got myself way too close to you a moment ago, or how you felt when I faced you on the greenhouse; it shouldn't be hard; just focus on that feeling, and try to identify it. I'm sure you have done it before."

Jay reluctantly closed his eyes, mumbling that this was a dumb idea, very dumb on some level, especially listening to some chick who had a hard on for getting in his face and not backing down but he found it very easy to get the skin on his hair rising. With it, slowly, the wings restlessly rippled behind him, feathers spiking thereafter. They weren't just looming now, they were menacing and inching towards her. The points of the blades were rising up but Jay suddenly drove the heel of his palms into his eyes and broke the concentration.

"No, Fuck, No!" The wings swept back, tight in their hold. "This is a dumb idea!" He moved towards the door, dropping his hands to leave, brimming on some angry predatory thirst he needed to fly off. "Ah can't do this with you--" The door flung open and he was out in the hallway, marching down it practically at a run. Last time he did this, he assaulted Yvette.

Nico waited until Jay wasn't around anymore to literally collapse on her bed, feeling a little sick. She had noticed that the boy's last attempt almost ended up killing her, and was surprised to find out she actually got scared; apparently the girl wasn't completely cured of that, fortunately. Sighing, Nico decided she would be better off leaving Jay alone for a while, since there was no use on getting killed instead of being useful later.

How, she honestly didn't know.