Moira and Amanda: Thursday afternoon
Feb. 19th, 2004 03:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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xp_logsMoira find an uninvited visitor in her office and remembers what it was she forgot to do...
Explains this email to Amanda.
Mid-afternoon, and Moira headed for her office with a sense of relief. Things were still tense, but beginning to calm down, and she hadn’t had to medicate anyone for… oh, the whole morning. It wasn’t over yet, not by a long shot, but it looked like the immediate crisis was easing. Time for her to catch her metaphorical breath, and pin down that nasty nagging feeling that she’d forgotten something.
The door was open.
Barely a crack, but Moira knew she’d closed it. Not only that, but locked it as well. With the medications and other equipment she kept in there, there was no way she’d do otherwise. For a moment she considered calling for help, then she remembered the state everyone was in and decided against it. The last thing this place needed was more excitement, and she was a McTaggart, after all. She wasn’t about to let a simple thing like a possible burglar get the better of her. Bravado, she decided, would be the best tactic. Scare the spalleen out of his skin.
"Just what t’ blue blazes d’ye ken ye’re doin’ in here?" she demanded, thrusting open the door. There was a muffled squeal, a clatter, and Moira looked down into a pair of startled blue eyes ringed heavily in black. "Amanda?"
"Um, I was… looking for… for you! You said yer door was always open, remember?"
"Except when I lock it ‘cause I’m not going ta be here." Moira crossed her arms over her chest and eyed the young Brit. "Find what ye were lookin’ for?"
"’Lookin’ for’? What makes you think I was…" Under Moira’s gimlet stare, Amanda faltered. With a sigh she pulled the crystal ball Romany had sent Moira from out of her pocket. "I… sensed this. In your office. An’ I needed it."
Moira suddenly had a very large sinking feeling in her stomach. "Needed it?" She could guess what Amanda's response to that would be.
The hand holding out the crystal was shaking, and Amanda bit her lip and tried to stop it. "Me power..." she said. "There was somethin' here, a mystic energy source, somethin' fucking huge, an' now all of a sudden it's gone an' I can't... I feel..." The trembling worked its way from her hand to the rest of her body. "I think I'm hooked," she admitted at last.
Sighing, Moira went over and helped Amanda to her feet. "Sit," she said gently, pointing to the couch. Closing the door, she turned around. "'ow lon' 'ave ye sensed it an'...did ye know what it was ye were drawin' off o'?"
Clutching the crystal in her hands, Amanda let herself fall onto the couch. Taking a couple of deep breaths to calm the chattering of her teeth, she said: "I sensed it the day I arrived, only then it went away. An' then it came back, 'bout a week later. I can't remember. Any way, it was strong; 's why I was able t' heal Lorna an' Ange so fast. Back home, there's no way I could've done it. Then when the doc let me out of the medlab, that's when I found out what it was..." She turned the crystal over and over in her hands, letting it catch the light. "It's... not a thing, or a place. It's a person."
"I know." Moira sat herself down on the chair in front of her and frowned. "I wasna goin' ta say anythin' until I made sure ye knew. We discovered it when th' crystal went off like a bloody nightlight."
"You know?" Amanda looked up from the crystal. "Did you tell
anyone? Did you tell Pete?"
"Nay, not yet. 'e doesna want anyone knowin'." Moira looked uncomfortable. "But I find meself in a 'ard place right now. If'n I dinnae tell, they'll find out eventually..."
"You can't tell! If Pete finds out he'll send me away an' never let me back here! I told him after the glitter thing that I'd found a once-only source an' he believed me an' if he finds out I lied..." Amanda grabbed Moira's hand. "Don't tell him, please! I can handle it, I just needed a little bit, t' take the edge off..."
Squeezing Amanda's hand, she leaned in. "Lass, I told ye I'd fight ta keep ye hear, an' I meant tha'. But...I know, trust me, tha' somethin' ta take th' edge off? It'll become somethin' bigger than ye are until it swallows ye whole an' ye lose yerself."
"But what else can I do? Marko... whatever the fuck he's got, it's royally fucking with me power. I didn't use t' need it like I do now, but I've been running hot for so long I can't do it any other way." Hunching her shoulders, Amanda murmured: "Not now. It's too fucking hard."
When Moira had dealt with her drinking problem, she had gone cold turkey. But with this... this was something completely different. How messed up could Amanda get if she cut off completely? But was it affecting Cain in anyway? "I wish ye 'ad said somethin' before...but I know tis 'ard ta let someone know."
"How can you bloody well know? I'm a fucking junkie - I've seen enough smack heads on the streets t' know that's exactly what I am." Bitterness laced Amanda's words. "I managed t' stay clean on the street, an' then I get meself a fucking magic habit."
"Because booze is jus' as addictin' an' as 'ard ta get out o' yer system as drugs," Moira said simply, staring into Amanda's eyes. Time for hiding was over and the only way she could get Sefton to trust her was -through- personal truth.
"You... you're a boozer?" Moira's admission jerked Amanda from her self-pitying spiral. "But... yer so boring an' responsible..."
"Hah!" Laughing, Moira patted her hand. "Thank ye...I think. I used ta be, fairly heavily. Working alcoholic they called it. Me uncle owns a bar on the mainland o' Scotland...easy enough ta get what ye need."
"How did you... what made you stop?" Amanda asked, hesitantly.
"Friends, two in particular. Friends. A swift kick in me arse from me uncle when he refused me entry," she said simply.
"Was it hard? Stoppin'?"
"Second 'ardest thin' I've ever 'ad ta go through." Kevin was the first hardest thing and that little tidbit would have to wait...telling someone this was harder than it looked.
"But you did it? Yer cured?" Faint hope crept into Amanda's voice.
"I willnae lie ta ye...every know an' then, I still want it. God, 'ow I still want it. But I dinnae -need- it anymore. See th' difference? I'll look at a bottle an' I hear this wee voice jus' go 'One drink, aye'? but I turn away an' do somethin' productive." Moira looked down, Amanda had a death grip on her hand. She was reaching out but she had to be sure. "Do ye want th' 'elp?"
"I dunno 'bout wantin' it, but I need help," Amanda said with a faint hint of humour. "But I don't want Pete t' know, not least 'til I've got it under control again. He'll... he'll be pissed off."
"I need ta say somethin' ta 'im, but I won't let 'im know everythin'. I promise. I dinnae want ye ta leave."
"I don't want t' leave. But I've already got t' prove t' him I can be responsible with the magic - if he knows I got a problem with me mutation, he might think the best thing t' do is to get me as far away from Cain for good." Amanda turned the crystal over in her hands again. "Can I... use this? It'll drain the power, Rom'll have t' recast the spell - it's got her signature all over it, by the way - but I've got me first session with Samson tomorrow an' I can't see him if I'm like this."
Moira looked long and hard at the crystal and then at Amanda. "Aye, ye can take it...it'll keep ye goin' fer a while, I suspect...'tis 'ard ta decide what ta do when yer addiction is part o' yer powers."
"Ta. I mean it - me skin's crawlin' with it right now, an' I need t' focus for this thing tomorrow." Amanda rose, shoving the crystal in her pocket. "You'll be here? If I need t' talk?"
"Any time ye need, lass."
Explains this email to Amanda.
Mid-afternoon, and Moira headed for her office with a sense of relief. Things were still tense, but beginning to calm down, and she hadn’t had to medicate anyone for… oh, the whole morning. It wasn’t over yet, not by a long shot, but it looked like the immediate crisis was easing. Time for her to catch her metaphorical breath, and pin down that nasty nagging feeling that she’d forgotten something.
The door was open.
Barely a crack, but Moira knew she’d closed it. Not only that, but locked it as well. With the medications and other equipment she kept in there, there was no way she’d do otherwise. For a moment she considered calling for help, then she remembered the state everyone was in and decided against it. The last thing this place needed was more excitement, and she was a McTaggart, after all. She wasn’t about to let a simple thing like a possible burglar get the better of her. Bravado, she decided, would be the best tactic. Scare the spalleen out of his skin.
"Just what t’ blue blazes d’ye ken ye’re doin’ in here?" she demanded, thrusting open the door. There was a muffled squeal, a clatter, and Moira looked down into a pair of startled blue eyes ringed heavily in black. "Amanda?"
"Um, I was… looking for… for you! You said yer door was always open, remember?"
"Except when I lock it ‘cause I’m not going ta be here." Moira crossed her arms over her chest and eyed the young Brit. "Find what ye were lookin’ for?"
"’Lookin’ for’? What makes you think I was…" Under Moira’s gimlet stare, Amanda faltered. With a sigh she pulled the crystal ball Romany had sent Moira from out of her pocket. "I… sensed this. In your office. An’ I needed it."
Moira suddenly had a very large sinking feeling in her stomach. "Needed it?" She could guess what Amanda's response to that would be.
The hand holding out the crystal was shaking, and Amanda bit her lip and tried to stop it. "Me power..." she said. "There was somethin' here, a mystic energy source, somethin' fucking huge, an' now all of a sudden it's gone an' I can't... I feel..." The trembling worked its way from her hand to the rest of her body. "I think I'm hooked," she admitted at last.
Sighing, Moira went over and helped Amanda to her feet. "Sit," she said gently, pointing to the couch. Closing the door, she turned around. "'ow lon' 'ave ye sensed it an'...did ye know what it was ye were drawin' off o'?"
Clutching the crystal in her hands, Amanda let herself fall onto the couch. Taking a couple of deep breaths to calm the chattering of her teeth, she said: "I sensed it the day I arrived, only then it went away. An' then it came back, 'bout a week later. I can't remember. Any way, it was strong; 's why I was able t' heal Lorna an' Ange so fast. Back home, there's no way I could've done it. Then when the doc let me out of the medlab, that's when I found out what it was..." She turned the crystal over and over in her hands, letting it catch the light. "It's... not a thing, or a place. It's a person."
"I know." Moira sat herself down on the chair in front of her and frowned. "I wasna goin' ta say anythin' until I made sure ye knew. We discovered it when th' crystal went off like a bloody nightlight."
"You know?" Amanda looked up from the crystal. "Did you tell
anyone? Did you tell Pete?"
"Nay, not yet. 'e doesna want anyone knowin'." Moira looked uncomfortable. "But I find meself in a 'ard place right now. If'n I dinnae tell, they'll find out eventually..."
"You can't tell! If Pete finds out he'll send me away an' never let me back here! I told him after the glitter thing that I'd found a once-only source an' he believed me an' if he finds out I lied..." Amanda grabbed Moira's hand. "Don't tell him, please! I can handle it, I just needed a little bit, t' take the edge off..."
Squeezing Amanda's hand, she leaned in. "Lass, I told ye I'd fight ta keep ye hear, an' I meant tha'. But...I know, trust me, tha' somethin' ta take th' edge off? It'll become somethin' bigger than ye are until it swallows ye whole an' ye lose yerself."
"But what else can I do? Marko... whatever the fuck he's got, it's royally fucking with me power. I didn't use t' need it like I do now, but I've been running hot for so long I can't do it any other way." Hunching her shoulders, Amanda murmured: "Not now. It's too fucking hard."
When Moira had dealt with her drinking problem, she had gone cold turkey. But with this... this was something completely different. How messed up could Amanda get if she cut off completely? But was it affecting Cain in anyway? "I wish ye 'ad said somethin' before...but I know tis 'ard ta let someone know."
"How can you bloody well know? I'm a fucking junkie - I've seen enough smack heads on the streets t' know that's exactly what I am." Bitterness laced Amanda's words. "I managed t' stay clean on the street, an' then I get meself a fucking magic habit."
"Because booze is jus' as addictin' an' as 'ard ta get out o' yer system as drugs," Moira said simply, staring into Amanda's eyes. Time for hiding was over and the only way she could get Sefton to trust her was -through- personal truth.
"You... you're a boozer?" Moira's admission jerked Amanda from her self-pitying spiral. "But... yer so boring an' responsible..."
"Hah!" Laughing, Moira patted her hand. "Thank ye...I think. I used ta be, fairly heavily. Working alcoholic they called it. Me uncle owns a bar on the mainland o' Scotland...easy enough ta get what ye need."
"How did you... what made you stop?" Amanda asked, hesitantly.
"Friends, two in particular. Friends. A swift kick in me arse from me uncle when he refused me entry," she said simply.
"Was it hard? Stoppin'?"
"Second 'ardest thin' I've ever 'ad ta go through." Kevin was the first hardest thing and that little tidbit would have to wait...telling someone this was harder than it looked.
"But you did it? Yer cured?" Faint hope crept into Amanda's voice.
"I willnae lie ta ye...every know an' then, I still want it. God, 'ow I still want it. But I dinnae -need- it anymore. See th' difference? I'll look at a bottle an' I hear this wee voice jus' go 'One drink, aye'? but I turn away an' do somethin' productive." Moira looked down, Amanda had a death grip on her hand. She was reaching out but she had to be sure. "Do ye want th' 'elp?"
"I dunno 'bout wantin' it, but I need help," Amanda said with a faint hint of humour. "But I don't want Pete t' know, not least 'til I've got it under control again. He'll... he'll be pissed off."
"I need ta say somethin' ta 'im, but I won't let 'im know everythin'. I promise. I dinnae want ye ta leave."
"I don't want t' leave. But I've already got t' prove t' him I can be responsible with the magic - if he knows I got a problem with me mutation, he might think the best thing t' do is to get me as far away from Cain for good." Amanda turned the crystal over in her hands again. "Can I... use this? It'll drain the power, Rom'll have t' recast the spell - it's got her signature all over it, by the way - but I've got me first session with Samson tomorrow an' I can't see him if I'm like this."
Moira looked long and hard at the crystal and then at Amanda. "Aye, ye can take it...it'll keep ye goin' fer a while, I suspect...'tis 'ard ta decide what ta do when yer addiction is part o' yer powers."
"Ta. I mean it - me skin's crawlin' with it right now, an' I need t' focus for this thing tomorrow." Amanda rose, shoving the crystal in her pocket. "You'll be here? If I need t' talk?"
"Any time ye need, lass."
