Cammie and Adrienne - Attempted Apology

[x-adrienne.livejournal.com]

Cammie visits Adrienne to apologize for what happened in Chicago.

Cammie crutched her way down the hall. Christmas was over and done with and before she went back to work she actually owed someone an apology. Not wanting to get off on the wrong foot, a funny pun when you considered her leg, she knocked on Adrienne’s door.

The smile on Adrienne's tanned, no-longer-bruised face vanished as she opened the door to see Cammie on the other side. "Are you lost?" she inquired with a raised eyebrow. "Because if you're not, I could help you get lost."

“How, threaten to break my other leg?” Cammie returned, “Could you believe I’m here to apologize? Because I sort of am.”

"'Sort of?'"

“Well, I can’t apologize if you won’t let me,” Cammie pointed out, shifting the weight on the crutches a bit, “So, the one million dollar question is how much you’ll let me say.”

Adrienne narrowed her eyes. "I'll let you say as much as you want providing none of it's bullshit. I guess you can come sit down if you want," she added begrudgingly, eying the crutches.

“Thanks,” Cammie said, crutching her way in and then sitting down, “You have no idea how much this hurts without pain killers. But yeah, I heard you got your nose broken. Because you were looking for me. And I wanted to apologize. None of its bullshit,” it didn’t matter that Cammie had pointed out that Adrienne shouldn’t ask after her at some places. She had, and that was that. So in the end it was like Cammie had broke her nose and that didn’t sit well with her. And Cammie didn’t like that idea.

That she had managed to get someone else hurt.

Her cold, impersonal mask was on, the one she used in the business world, and Adrienne didn't let it down for Cammie. Not this time. Not anymore. "You're apologizing because I broke my nose?" she asked, letting out a snort of incredulity. Did Cammie really think the older woman's anger was because of her broken nose?

“Well, I’m more apologizing for the fact that my being a jackass resulted in you getting your nose broke. And the fact that I was a jackass in the first place,” Cammie said.

"Is that all?"

“Yeah. You can fire me if you want, I admit I lied and it was a dumbshit thing to do. And not the right thing at all, because I couldn’t handle it on my own,” her body held the proof of that, “I didn’t mean for you to get hurt or even find out. Which doesn’t make it alright or anything, but yeah. You get the picture.”

"Lying wasn't a dumbshit thing to do," Adrienne acquiesced, "it was the smart thing to do to get what you wanted." Hell, a part of Adrienne really admired Cammie for doing it. "But you're right. It wasn't the right thing to do, and not just because you couldn't handle it." She leaned on the arm of the couch, arms crossed over her chest. "But you don't understand the right way and wrong way to treat people, do you? I trusted you, Miss Black." Her tone was level, face still stoic. "It wasn't easy for me to do that. And you betrayed that trust."

“I know the right and wrong things to do to people,” Cammie said, “At the moment I didn’t exactly care because I was more worried about what had happened to Amy. I’m aware you’re likely never trust me at all again. I’m sorry for that.”


"If you knew the right and wrong thing to do to people, you would have talked to me about wanting to stay longer instead of lying to me. I even agreed to stay in Chicago for you!" The older woman laughed at her own gullibility. "I'm not in the habit of trusting people, Miss Black, but I wanted to trust you. To prove to myself that you weren't what most people think you are. And, I guess, to prove to you that I wasn't what most people think I am either. But you threw that trust back in my face by fucking me over. How am I supposed to just shrug this off and extend my trust to you again?"

“You’re not. And me being sorry for it doesn’t change everything to being suddenly okay.”

"No, it doesn't." So why was Cammie still in her suite?

“But I thought you should at least know that I feel bad about it,” Cammie said, reaching for the crutches, “That’s all I had.”

"Well, if that's what you need to make yourself feel better," Adrienne muttered, holding open the door. "You can keep your job if you still want it, but I'm not going to be in your corner anymore, and I'm informing your boss of that fact."

“My corner’s not a fun place to be,” Cammie said, hobbling towards the door.

"The thing you should have figured out sooner, Miss Black, is that I wasn't there because it was fun," Adrienne told her in a level tone, "I was there because I believed you were worth being there for."

“Yeah, now we both know the truth. I’m really not,” Cammie said.

"You could be if you stopped lying to people who try to help you."

“Hey, didn’t think anyone else would suffer for this. But yeah, I’ll see you later. Or whatever,” Cammie hobbled out of the door.


Adrienne leaned against the doorjamb, biting her lip. "Well, if you don't want anyone else to suffer for you, just keep pushing people who cared about you out of your life." She snorted again, shaking her head. That strategy didn't work, and Adrienne knew it. "Except people already fucking care and they're going to suffer no matter what." Just not Adrienne, not anymore. Vanessa had said that with some people, Cammie in particular, no kindness would go unpunished, and it seemed like she was right.