Jan and Kyle - Small Talk
Jan. 30th, 2010 07:22 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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xp_logsWorried that she might be injured again if she tries to shrink, Jan shares her concerns with Kyle.
It was time. Jan knew it, even if she was a bit afraid. Past time, really; the doctors had given her the all clear to try shrinking the previous week, but she hadn't felt quite ready yet. So now here she was, sitting with her boyfriend, afraid of using her own power. She hadn't been using the crutches for weeks now, and everything should be healed, but thought of 'What if?' kept dancing around in her mind.
"Kyle, I think I'm still kind of scared," Jan admitted. "I mean, I shouldn't be, right? The docs down in MedLab did X-Rays and the bones are all healed and I even waited a little bit extra but what if something goes wrong? It's not like there are thousands or even just dozens of people who can shrink, forget people who can shrink and broke bones. There's no way to know that everything will go right."
"What if it doesn't go wrong? What if everything goes you know, just like normal?" Kyle's perspective on the whole thing was 'get it done and over with', and he was trying to understand Jan's fear - he could tell she was scared, not a lot, but enough that he could smell it. "Doc Hank's pretty smart, I'm guessing if he was worried at all even a little, he'd probably tell you, right?"
"Yeah, I guess he would, but there's a reason I'm supposed to go to the MedLab for this, isn't there?" Jan pointed out. "It's a 'just in case' thing, there's always the small possibility that I could break a bone again or something, and it's better to already be around doctors in case that happens. If it doesn't go wrong, then I can shrink again, which would be really, really great, but if everything's not healed I don't think I'd be able to shrink for a long, long time and that would really suck. I'm just totally being a chicken, I know."
Kyle shrugged. He'd probably have just gone and shrunk by now, but he was impatient. And he was the guy who had kept looking at his toes and fingers when they were growing back. "I don't think you're being like, a chicken, but I think the only way you're gonna know is to get it done? It's like, I dunno, jumping into a cold pool or eating something weird. Only way to do it is to just like, do it and then find out what happens."
"If someone jumps into a cold pool, the worst that could happen is they get really, really cold and freeze, although I guess if someone eats something weird they could die, although I'm thinking you're talking more about weird-flavored doughnuts than you are unidentified mushrooms or berries or something growing in a forest." Jan sighed. "I guess... it's just, you know, sometimes when you don't know something it's better. Like, I can sit here and think 'Hey, I'm able to shrink like normal again!' but if I try and I break something again that will be pretty bad. So then maybe I'd rather not know. Except I would. Because I really like shrinking, and the idea of not being able to shrink again without hurting myself is pretty horrible. It's funny, I guess, being able to shrink is the last power I knew about, but it's my favorite."
She'd met other people with wings, now there was even a student with wings quite similar to hers, and she'd definitely met multiple people with some sort of generate/control electricity ability, but she'd never met anyone else who could shrink. Shapeshift into a smaller form, sure, but not just shrink. Was that why she liked it so much? Because it was different? It was useful, that was for sure, and Jan liked being able to be useful member of the X-Men. Maybe she didn't really need to be able to shrink to be on the team, but she wasn't at all sure she liked that idea. Besides, she'd always feel like something was missing, wouldn't she?
Jan looked over at Kyle. "I just need to go get it over with, don't I? I have to know, and if it hurts then I'll just stop and we'll deal with it then."
Oh, this is what people meant when they asked him if he'd actually taken a breathe during all that. "Okay, hold on, cause I gotta like, process all that." Kyle held up a finger, and thought for a moment. "Okay, in order, dude, hypothermia sucks, yeah, I meant french onion donuts and I told you those were gross, and is it gonna totally eat at you forever if you never try? I mean, what would make you feel less like it's totally scary?"
He was pretty sure he'd gotten all of her important points. That was the trouble with girls, sometimes, Kyle thought. There always seemed to be a point he'd manage to miss.
"Yeah," Jan agreed, "I think it will totally eat away at me forever and ever if I never try. I mean, I guess if I waited a few months I wouldn't be worried so much, but it's already been more than two months since I was thrown out of that plane. I want to shrink, and I want to be able to be back on active duty on the team, and I don't think I can do that until I do this. It, like, represents that I'm all better and ready to go back out on missions. If I couldn't ever shrink again, and that would be bad, it would be one thing, that would just be 'OK, so you do different stuff now' but I can shrink, it's just if it's too early something could break again and then I'd have to recover all over again, and sure the doctors have done x-rays and they say it shouldn't be a problem but, you know, this is kind of important to me so there's just this worry in my head." She sighed. "I guess, just... you'll come with me to the MedLab, right? Be there, whether it goes wrong or right?"
This, Kyle knew how to handle. Step one, hug girlfriend. Step two, tell girlfriend that yes, he would totally go down to the medlab and be there while she tried to shrink. Step three, do not suggest to girlfriend that you're worried she'll puke, because that's not cool, and also it might put the idea in her head that she'd puke.
Following those steps was a little more difficult because of Jan's wings, and the fact that saying "Yeah, I can come down there and totally sit there and you know, hold your hand or something." sounded way more awkward when he actually said it then when he was thinking the plan through.
Jan hugged Kyle back, smiling. "That sounds great. You're the best boyfriend ever, you know that? OK, I'm ready now, let's go!"
"Uh. Jan?" Kyle waved at at his bare legs, and Jan's bare legs, and mostly their bare everything else. "Maybe pants first? I'm not saying, I'm just, you know, saying."
It was time. Jan knew it, even if she was a bit afraid. Past time, really; the doctors had given her the all clear to try shrinking the previous week, but she hadn't felt quite ready yet. So now here she was, sitting with her boyfriend, afraid of using her own power. She hadn't been using the crutches for weeks now, and everything should be healed, but thought of 'What if?' kept dancing around in her mind.
"Kyle, I think I'm still kind of scared," Jan admitted. "I mean, I shouldn't be, right? The docs down in MedLab did X-Rays and the bones are all healed and I even waited a little bit extra but what if something goes wrong? It's not like there are thousands or even just dozens of people who can shrink, forget people who can shrink and broke bones. There's no way to know that everything will go right."
"What if it doesn't go wrong? What if everything goes you know, just like normal?" Kyle's perspective on the whole thing was 'get it done and over with', and he was trying to understand Jan's fear - he could tell she was scared, not a lot, but enough that he could smell it. "Doc Hank's pretty smart, I'm guessing if he was worried at all even a little, he'd probably tell you, right?"
"Yeah, I guess he would, but there's a reason I'm supposed to go to the MedLab for this, isn't there?" Jan pointed out. "It's a 'just in case' thing, there's always the small possibility that I could break a bone again or something, and it's better to already be around doctors in case that happens. If it doesn't go wrong, then I can shrink again, which would be really, really great, but if everything's not healed I don't think I'd be able to shrink for a long, long time and that would really suck. I'm just totally being a chicken, I know."
Kyle shrugged. He'd probably have just gone and shrunk by now, but he was impatient. And he was the guy who had kept looking at his toes and fingers when they were growing back. "I don't think you're being like, a chicken, but I think the only way you're gonna know is to get it done? It's like, I dunno, jumping into a cold pool or eating something weird. Only way to do it is to just like, do it and then find out what happens."
"If someone jumps into a cold pool, the worst that could happen is they get really, really cold and freeze, although I guess if someone eats something weird they could die, although I'm thinking you're talking more about weird-flavored doughnuts than you are unidentified mushrooms or berries or something growing in a forest." Jan sighed. "I guess... it's just, you know, sometimes when you don't know something it's better. Like, I can sit here and think 'Hey, I'm able to shrink like normal again!' but if I try and I break something again that will be pretty bad. So then maybe I'd rather not know. Except I would. Because I really like shrinking, and the idea of not being able to shrink again without hurting myself is pretty horrible. It's funny, I guess, being able to shrink is the last power I knew about, but it's my favorite."
She'd met other people with wings, now there was even a student with wings quite similar to hers, and she'd definitely met multiple people with some sort of generate/control electricity ability, but she'd never met anyone else who could shrink. Shapeshift into a smaller form, sure, but not just shrink. Was that why she liked it so much? Because it was different? It was useful, that was for sure, and Jan liked being able to be useful member of the X-Men. Maybe she didn't really need to be able to shrink to be on the team, but she wasn't at all sure she liked that idea. Besides, she'd always feel like something was missing, wouldn't she?
Jan looked over at Kyle. "I just need to go get it over with, don't I? I have to know, and if it hurts then I'll just stop and we'll deal with it then."
Oh, this is what people meant when they asked him if he'd actually taken a breathe during all that. "Okay, hold on, cause I gotta like, process all that." Kyle held up a finger, and thought for a moment. "Okay, in order, dude, hypothermia sucks, yeah, I meant french onion donuts and I told you those were gross, and is it gonna totally eat at you forever if you never try? I mean, what would make you feel less like it's totally scary?"
He was pretty sure he'd gotten all of her important points. That was the trouble with girls, sometimes, Kyle thought. There always seemed to be a point he'd manage to miss.
"Yeah," Jan agreed, "I think it will totally eat away at me forever and ever if I never try. I mean, I guess if I waited a few months I wouldn't be worried so much, but it's already been more than two months since I was thrown out of that plane. I want to shrink, and I want to be able to be back on active duty on the team, and I don't think I can do that until I do this. It, like, represents that I'm all better and ready to go back out on missions. If I couldn't ever shrink again, and that would be bad, it would be one thing, that would just be 'OK, so you do different stuff now' but I can shrink, it's just if it's too early something could break again and then I'd have to recover all over again, and sure the doctors have done x-rays and they say it shouldn't be a problem but, you know, this is kind of important to me so there's just this worry in my head." She sighed. "I guess, just... you'll come with me to the MedLab, right? Be there, whether it goes wrong or right?"
This, Kyle knew how to handle. Step one, hug girlfriend. Step two, tell girlfriend that yes, he would totally go down to the medlab and be there while she tried to shrink. Step three, do not suggest to girlfriend that you're worried she'll puke, because that's not cool, and also it might put the idea in her head that she'd puke.
Following those steps was a little more difficult because of Jan's wings, and the fact that saying "Yeah, I can come down there and totally sit there and you know, hold your hand or something." sounded way more awkward when he actually said it then when he was thinking the plan through.
Jan hugged Kyle back, smiling. "That sounds great. You're the best boyfriend ever, you know that? OK, I'm ready now, let's go!"
"Uh. Jan?" Kyle waved at at his bare legs, and Jan's bare legs, and mostly their bare everything else. "Maybe pants first? I'm not saying, I'm just, you know, saying."
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