Dori and Catseye - The Legend of Zelda

[x-catseye.livejournal.com]

Dori and Catseye have a Danger Room session, complete with plastic swords.

"Do you think the swords will really beat the bad guys?" Catseye asked Dori curiously, brandishing her plastic pirate's cutlass as the Danger Room program loaded and their surroundings shifted to resemble the first level of The Legend of Zelda. Blinking at the sudden brightness of the golden beach with its strategically placed rocks and trees and the red and blue sand-monster-things, she waved at Hank in the control room to let him know that the simulation was up and running without any hitches. "The last time I played this one I had to use my powers to beat them."



“The swords will totally work!” Doreen said, happily done up as Link. This was cosplay x 100000000. Which made it very, very cool in her eyes, “This is a fantasy game, the swords always work.” Hers was a plastic replica of the Master Sword. She was going all out for this. She was slightly put out that there weren’t little hearts counting down at the bottom of the “screen” but she admitted that’d be hard to do.

“Let’s go save the princess!”

Catseye dodged a pellet-thing that a sand monster shot at her, and motioned for Dori to flank the creature while she distracted it. Dori might have been taking this exercise as a game, but Catseye intended to use it as the training session it was designed to be, plastic swords or no plastic swords. And since she usually couldn't use her cat-form in training, she resigned herself to using her brain instead. "The princess is never here," she pointed out with a smirk. "I've played this before. It always says 'your princess is in another castle' at the end," she muttered, doing her best impression of Garrison's voice from the last time she'd played this simulation.

“That’s in Mario!” Doreen said, quickly dodging and then flaking the sand monster with her awesome master sword, “But I suppose we’ll see. Zelda is a really tricky princess.”

"Mario is the one with the funny moustache right?" Catseye asked. She still didn't know her video games very well. With a war whoop, she ran to the next area, where more sand monsters awaited, which she gleefully hacked at with her pirate sword. "And the turtles are in Mario?"

“Yeah, the turtles throw hammers around an you get to jump on mushrooms,” Doreen paused for a moment, “Wow, Mario is really messed up. I totally never noticed before."

"And sometimes the turtles fly and sometimes they spin really fast and hurt you!" the catgirl confirmed, dodging a spit attack from the sand monster and thrusting her sword at the graphic. She moved to the next screen and found that they were at the coastline. "There's the castle! The bats and the drop-monsters and skeletons live there!"

“Let’s go save the Princess!” Dori said, pointing towards the castle heroically, only to be interrupted by a monster. Stupid monster, running her pose.

"The princess is not in there!" Catseye repeated in a mimic of Dori's heroic tone, though she dissolved into giggles halfway through. "Okay do you want to run across the bridge to the castle really fast or do you want to kill the monsters first and then we can go more slowly over the bridge to the island?"

“I think we’ll level up more if we kill the monsters first,” Doreen said with a firm nod, “We need a lot of hearts to go beat up the people in the castle.”

"Okay! You be the team leader Dori I will go where you say," the catgirl offered. She knew Dori didn't often take the lead in training exercises and wanted to give her friend some experience. "What should I do?"

“Uh,” Doreen paused for a moment, “We could kick chickens….”

Catseye looked around frantically, jumping to the side to dodge a bullet from a sea monster. "What chickens?"

“I don’t know. We find a town and there’s chickens there and the chickens get kicked and sometimes drop things,” Doreen said, rushing the sea monster with a flying leap and swordly awesome.

"There are no chickens in this game Dori; there are no towns either. We need a new plan."

“Which Zelda are we playing?” Doreen asked, looking around.

"I did not know there was more than one." Catseye pushed Dori to the ground to avoid being hit with a shot from the monsters.

“There’s a lot of them!” Doreen said happily, waving her master sword.

Since Dori didn't seem to be giving her any instruction, Catseye took the lead again. "Go over to that second monster and I will get this first one, okay?" she instructed, wading into the fake water and ducking under when the monster tried to shoot at her. When she had dispatched him, she returned to Dori and began to make her way across the bridge towards the tree where the castle/dungeon thing was.

“I can do that,” Doreen said happily, “We should totally do this more often. It’s so fun! When we get to the dungeon we’ll win!”


"Only if we do not die," Catseye reminded her friend. "If we get hit by a monster we die and if we die three times we lose. Three times altogether not each," she clarified, going down through the tree trunk to the dungeon. There were three doors in the room and she remembered the way fairly clearly from the last time she'd played this game, so she led Dori through one of the doors and into a second room, battling skeletons and bats. "There is a boomerang in that box there," she told Dori, pointing to the treasure chest. "Then we go back to the main room and to the left door that is where the bad Ogre guy and the chocolate kisses are."

Dori sniffed, “I wish it was easier to smell the monsters. You think it would be.”



"Because they are not real monsters and Mister Hank has not programmed a smell for monsters yet," Catseye answered, waiting for Dori to go pick up the boomerang. "I think when he makes a monster smell they should smell like pastrami."



Doreen giggled, “That’d be a funny way to smell – I mean, if you’re a monster.” She picked up the boomerang, “Dun dun dunnnn!”