Angelo | John - Late Monday Night

[x-pyromania.livejournal.com]

'Frank, this is a safe place. A place where we can feel free sharing our feelings. Think of my office as a nest in a tree of trust and understanding. We can say anything here.' -Old School-

Wheezing. Coughing. Sneezing. There was only so much of it John could take.  He rubbed at his eyes and saw stars. Bright twinkly lights. Annoyingly painful to look at. He blinked and rubbed at his eyes again. Itchy. So itchy.

And the stars. No. The lights. Someone had turned the lights on.

"Fuck." So much for trying to get some rest. He couldn't sleep. Couldn't work either. Hell. He couldn't do a damn thing right these days. His focus was off. His concentration was fucked.

And the headache. That damn headache.

John held his trusty Zippo in his hand, snapped the lid open and sparked himself a light. He watched as the flame grew into a large globe of fire and he closed his eyes, taking in its warmth as it hovered above him on the couch.

"If you light the couch on fire because you can't concentrate", Angelo told him dryly, "I'm goin' to light your bed on fire.  You didn't take your antihistamines again, did you."

"Nngh." The fire imploded into itself and disappeared from sight. There was that awful nagging again. Angelo didn't seem to know when to quit. John kept his back to his friend and pretended to sleep. He sucked in a breath and it came out sounding like a broken squeaky toy. Goddamn fucking allergy.

"All right, give me your lighter", Angelo demanded.  "You said I could have it, if you don't take your drugs I'm gonna hold you to that.  An' I won't cook for you anymore either."

At that point, John had to chuckle. Slowly, almost painfully, he pushed himself up to a sitting position and motioned for Angelo to take a seat. "You're going to have to wait a while, buddy," he croaked, the words rasping out of his throat. "I'm not fucking dead yet."

"Then take your Claritin an' I won't have to steal it out of your hand when you choke an' pass out", he said cheerfully, perching beside John.

"Passing out would be a blessing, Ange. I'll take forty winks if I could get that." John couldn't remember the last time his sleep had gone undisturbed. Aside from his allergies, there'd been something else that he'd constantly had to grapple with: his ever increasing pyromania, and the constant click clacking of his lighter was a sure enough sign that he was feeling restless.

"Can't remember if I told you..."

Ever since his return from Chicago; ever since he'd let his control slip, he'd had frequent thoughts of burning the apartment down, of setting fire to the office -- small things, little things -- and then far more dangerous thoughts -- of watching entire buildings, entire cities go up in smoke.

He'd always enjoyed using his powers in destructive ways.

"I met my mother last week."

John swallowed his medication and waited for the miracle to happen. For the relief to come. It wouldn't cure him of his dastardly thoughts but John wasn't looking to be rid of that. His addiction to fire was natural to him. His control of it -- the ultimate test.

Angelo gave him a quick sideways look at that, trying to gauge his friend's expression.  "No, you didn't. How'd it go?"

John's expression was unreadable. "We met up in this quaint little cafe in Brooklyn. Shoddy place. Frankly, I would've picked a better spot." He reached for his cigarettes and lighted one up, offering the half empty pack to Angelo. "I knew she wanted money so I wrote her a check, you know. We managed to skip through the pretense and the bullshit." He tapped his cigarette against the edge of the coffee table, mindless of the fact he was making a mess on the floor.

"Right before she left, I asked her if we could keep in touch and she said -- well, she said that she would write me a thank you note." He managed to smile just then. "For the money."

Angelo picked out a cigarette without looking, focused on John's face and not believing the smile for an instant.  "So... I'm guessin' that'd be a no on the keepin' in touch, huh.  Man, I'm sorry."

"Nah, man." He let out a shrug and offered Angelo a light. "Nothin' to be sorry about. It's just what I deserve. I was being a little fucking selfish. I shouldn't have lost my cool that day." There was no forgiving him bringing danger into their home; into their lives. "I knew the rules and I messed up. She's got every right to keep me out."

"She's your mom", Angelo countered, leaning in to light his cigarette.  "She's s'posed to forgive you whatever you do... an' it's gotta suck that she isn't, even if you figure you deserve it."

"Well, I know what yours is like. But I don't think you know my mother. I mean, back then, she was nuts. I can't remember a time I wasn't scared shitless of her." He stubbed his cigarette out and lit another. "I'll tell you this. When I was about five or six, she left me in the parking lot of a supermarket for guess what? Wetting my fucking pants after she fucking hit me. Wouldn't be the last time she'd decided to just ditch me either. Or hit me. She called it tough love." John sucked in a lungful of smoke and swallowed. "When I got older, I started looking out for my siblings. I didn't want them to go through what I did. But fuck -- that was a long time ago and my mother, she started mellowing out in her old age. After my father died, she just stopped giving a damn."

"Bitch", Angelo said flatly, meaning it.  "Your brothers an' sisters, they're gonna be okay now?  If you're not keepin' in contact?"

"I'll figure something out. I got her to agree to let me go back there this weekend to clear my stuff out. If nothing else, there'll be time for I don't know -- awkward goodbyes at least."

"Want me to come with you again?" Angelo offered.  "Just in case?  I mean, your stepdad, after last time..."  They both knew John wasn't much at hand to hand.

John ignored the comment about his stepfather. He wasn't looking forward to seeing the man again after what happened last time. He certainly didn't think he'd have an easy time keeping his temper in check.

"If I let you stay here, Ange, you're just going to spend the entire weekend worrying. Can't let you do that, can I? Besides, I was thinking we could make it a road trip. Take a couple of days off."

"Yeah, we can do that", Angelo agreed surprisingly easily.  "There's this place I was meanin' to show you, anyway.  Think you might like it."

"Yeah?" He arched his brows, curiosity peaked. "Well, I'll meet with Nathan first thing in the morning. Tell him we've decided to turn over our suits and join something awful like, I don't know -- X-Force? Alpha-Flight?"

Angelo burst out laughing.  "Alpha-Flight's for Canadian nationals, John.  An' I don't think X-Force'd have us.  Well, maybe you... you'll just have to wait an' see what I found."