Cammie & Kurt: HALP, I R DRUNK; Or: This Has Never Happened Before

[x-scorpion.livejournal.com]

Cammie goes to a bar. Cammie gets drunk. Cammie calls Kurt for a ride and manages to make some sense while being entirely confused about what is actually going on.

The bar was one of her usual haunts, but what was actually happening was anything but. After feeling better and being drug around getting new clothes and having all her old stuff replaced she had resumed most of her old routine. It was also odd, it occurred to Cammie, to have a routine. She had never had a routine before. Trying to stand up had failed, so she was in a darkened corner of the bar, not scoping out or sizing anyone up. Random fist fights were not really her thing anymore, at least not her thing to START.

Either way, getting home didn't seem possible somehow, not in this state. Everything was so damn disconnected. And blurry. And spinning. And she couldn't even walk in a straight line. Cammie hit her cellphone and pushed the first name that came up on the list. It saved her from having to dial. All things considered, that was likely a good thing. She had spent about forty minutes swearing at the old answering machine for Manny before this...

The voice that answered was a little confused, but not unwelcoming of the call. "Cammie? Where are you?" She'd hardly be calling him from inside the mansion...

"Uhh," Cammie paused, "I'm at a bar," she slurred after a second. Did her voice always sound so... weird? Or was this just something that happened. She knew that drunks talked funny, but for some reason now she could not put words together, "I really don't know whatsh going on."

"I think I do", he said after a startled moment, vaguely amused. "You, little sister, are drunk. Which bar?"

"No I'm not," she protested, leaning more heavily into the wall and almost falling over in the process, "The Iron Horshe Tavern, I think? It'sh a biker bar. There are lotsh of cute bikersh here." The last was a rather obvious, and somewhat stupid statement. "I feel really funny."

"I am not surprised, if you have been drinking as you usually would." He glanced at the clock on his wall, consideringly. "Stay where you are, all right? I am coming to get you."

"I dunno if I could walk sho okay," Cammie said, "I promishe not to go anywhere. I don't get it, it was only a few shots," which for her generally meant at least five. But the funny thing was, she wasn't sure if she had actually had five. Or finished off the bottle. And it had tasted vile. At least, the first shot did. Everything after that went down real easy.

"I will be there in a few minutes", he promised, then paused. "But I think we should get a cab home. I would not like to predict how teleportation would affect you right now."

"But I never hafe a problem with it," Cammie protested smiling at a guy who walked by. She totally would've picked someone up but somewhere it had hit her that she might actually need some form of birth control now. Suddenly, her stomach turned, "Shee you when you get here, I hafta uh... bathroom."

"My point exactly", was the wry response. "I will be waiting for you outside the bathroom."

* * *

She felt like she had been emptying her stomach out forever. And when she was done she didn't really feel any better. More like she had just barfed. Cammie had bought some gum awhile ago, figuring with how much she had been ralphing that she owed it to everyone else. Besides, no one liked the taste of vomit. Muttering an oath about never making anyone else vomit again, she popped the piece of gum in her mouth, where the mint conflicted with the taste of bile and booze, and she wasn't sure which one was the worse taste.

Cammie stumbled out and caught her balance, barely, as the world went spinning.

Kurt, image inducer on just to be on the safe side and therefore looking like an athletic blond, was waiting outside as promised. He blinked and reached hastily to steady her as she almost fell. "You are worse off than I thought, little sister."

Cammie did a double take, "Whoa. That is sho fucked up," she said, narrowing her eyes at Kurt. She was expecting the awesome blue furred version. And she had to reach out and grab his face just to see if he had suddenly taken up shape shifting or something. Hmm, nope. "Sho fucked up."

"Technology, Cammie", he told her. "I thought it was best to be cautious. Come on, we will get you some fresh air and that taxi."

"Ohh yeaaaaah," she said, "Ish this normal? Becaushe it doeshn't feel normal," Cammie said after thinking about it, "I didn't even have that much," she mused, smiling dumbly at some cute guy they passed on the way out. Ooo, cute guys.

Kurt gave him a warning glare, arm possessively around Cammie, and the man shrugged and turned away as they left the bar. "As I understand it, you would not know what being drunk feels like. And you are not very big, without your powers to help."

"Yeah, but it wash just Jag," she said, in the same tone of voice that someone would say 'it was just water.'

"I think", he told her a little ruefully, "you have some considerable readjusting to do, if this is to be permanent."

"I don't wan' thish to be permanent. Jusht a trick. Like a place..place...shugar fucking pillsh, ya know? All fake." Cammie said firmly, "You can't jusht take shomething like that away. Doeshn't work like that."

"I think I would like to talk to this Haven", he agreed. "Because while depowering is possible, what Hank says has really been done... that can only be reality warping."

"I dun know what the fuck happened," Cammie said, stumbling a bit, but she caught herself on Kurt, "I dun think I like it."

He let her lean on him, looking down at her head. "Then if you want it undone, we will get it undone. When you are sober."

She shook her head slightly, "I wanna get a tattoo first. Think I know whatsh it gonna be too."

"Oh?" The look changed from concern to mild curiosity.

She made a circle shape with her right hand and put it on her left arm, right where the flesh would normally be turning green, "Bio-hazard shign, right here," she said, "Alwaysh wanted one, couldn't get it, ya know? 'Cause me bleeding ish bad."

"It is", he said with a nod, "usually. But do you still want it if you are no longer bio-hazard girl?"

"I'll alwaysh be," Cammie said with a firmness that went beyond being drunk, "You can take anything you want from me, but ya can't take away what I am." Or change stuff that had already happened. "I can't forget and go on and liveth shome normal life."

"No one would say you could forget", he said quietly, "but you could try to find something like normal now, if you wanted. I would help you."

Cammie laughed, "I don't even know what normal ish," she replied, "I dun know if I wanna know. Normal ish boring." Normal people did the same thing, every day. Normal people were like the people still stuck back in Grand Falls, Vermont. Normal people had things she couldn't have. And didn't want to have. So it was best to not even think about it.

"Whatever happens, Cammie", Kurt told her, "your life from now on can be whatever you want it to be. Normal or otherwise, we can make it so."

She shook her head, "If I was supposda have a normal life, I wouldn't hafe murdered Greg," Cammie said, with an odd sort of drunken clarity. "Find th' magic wand ta fix that and we'll talk normal."

He sighed and pulled her unconsciously closer into his side. "Only a truly powerful reality warper could do that, my Cammie. But you did not murder Greg."

"Yeah I did. I mean, he was there. I was there. And I was touching him. And it killed him. I mean, that's sorta what murder is," Cammie mused.

"You killed him, yes, but it was not murder", he said firmly. "There must be intention to kill, or at least to harm, for it to be called murder."

"Maybe," she slurred, chewing on it, "But it still feelsh like it. Why couldn't shomeone take that 'way inshtead?"

"The memory?" he asked. "Or the feeling, or the fact that it happened? If you wished any of those, I would try to find someone who could."

"I dunno. All of it. But then I'd shtill be shtuck there," Cammie said, "An' it'd be eashy for my crazy mom to get me," then she started laughing, "But like thish what good would it do her, right?"

"Your crazy mother will never touch you again", Kurt assured her with determination. "If I have to stand between you and her myself, she never will."

"I like you," Cammie said firmly, "An' I don't like a lotta people. ...I musht shound like an idiot right now. Ish this normal?"

"It does tend to come with the drunken territory", was the amused response as he finally spotted a cab and flagged it down. "I like you too. And there is our ride."

"It'sh a cab," Cammie muttered, stating the obvious, "When we get home, can I try beer?" It had been on her list of drinks to try, but she thought she might have gotten the order of operations wrong.

Kurt eyed her. "I think it might be better if you recover from the Jagermeister first. Remember you can get alcohol poisoning now."

Oh, right. There was that too. She remembered hearing of that. It had been something like that that had killed one of her classmates back home. Well, it was that or trying to operate a combine while drunk. The jury of his peers was still out on getting the story straight the last she heard. But there had been beer and a combine involved.

"Ohhh yeah," she said, "Tomorrow night then. I'll be all better by then."

"Tomorrow you can have beer", he agreed. "But under supervision, if you do not mind. Drinking is better in company anyway."

"Only 'f itsh you. Or maybe Logan, 'cause he's cool for an old guy," Cammie noted, "But he doesn't get drunk either." Nevermind that Cammie was drunk now, she still put herself firmly in the 'can't get intoxicated group.' At least for now. This wasn't going to last more than a week, after all.

...Right...?

"I have no plans. It can indeed be me, and I think I even have some beer in the fridge already. If not, I will get some."

"Good, wouldnna wanna drink an' feel it with anyone else," Cammie said, still leaning heavily on her 'big brother.' In the fashion of drunks, that statement was totally honest.

The cab had turned around and pulled up, and Kurt opened the door to help Cammie inside. "And my couch will be there for you when you have had enough."

"Good," she sank back heavily in the seat, "Thanksh for coming to get me."

"I would hardly have left you to fend for yourself." He leaned forward to speak briefly to the driver, telling him the address.