Yvette and Julian - backdated to September 3

[x-penance.livejournal.com]

Yvette finds Julian in the pool and tries to help with his issues since Nick's disappearance. It's not precisely helpful.



It was a beautiful day outside as Julian did laps in the outdoor pool, the cool water granting a reprieve from the saturating humidity. A set of speakers next to the water was blasting music from his iPod, which he could only really hear every-other second of. Aside from the Cuckoos, who kept their distance from him ever since prom night, two years ago, he was alone and the combination of isolation, exercise and good music was doing wonders for him. Well, that and the early morning quickie he and Nico had in the shower.

It was nice not having to go to class, to be able to simply lounge about, work out and train to be part of the X-Men. Part of him missed his old life and the opportunities it would have afforded him after graduation, but right now, there was no where else he'd rather have been.

Julian's absence from the journals and from general socialness, however, hadn't gone unnoticed. She'd had a lot of her own issues to deal with, but Yvette knew if she was going to take her new RA position seriously, she would have to put those issues aside sometimes. Julian hadn't been in his room or in Nico's suite (and for this Yvette was glad, since she hadn't had to interrupt a make out session), which left only one place, really - the pool.

And yes, there he was, swimming laps almost robotically, up and down the pool without pause.

Carefully, Yvette walked to the shallow end and sat on the edge of the pool, letting her socked feet dangle in the water. The material would dry out soon enough and she needed the cool water to counter the sticky heat. "Hello, Julian," she called aloud, when she saw him heading back to the shallow end.

Hearing his name over the music, Julian stopped in midstroke and popped his goggled head out of the water. He spotted Yvette right away, it was, once again, difficult to miss her. Doing a modified version of the breast-stroke, Julian headed for the shallow end and leaned up against the wall next to her while reaching out to turn down the music with his abilities. "Hey," he said plainly, breathing heavily.

She blinked as he used his telekinesis to turn down the iPod. "You have been practicing with your powers, yes?" she asked, smiling. "It is not always the large objects now?"

He nodded, a slight smile crossing his lips as he did. "It's been easier since I got knocked on the head during...well, a mission," he didn't really want to bring up the incident with Meggan and the weird Selene creature and it was probably not a good idea to mention the Hellfire Club either.

"Nathan used to have to link me into his head in order to see lines of force, but now," Julian shrugged, "I can see them fine. I guess a slight concussion can be helpful." Pointing to the iPod docking station he shrugged again, "Plus it's not so hard when you just need to turn a dial, if I'd had to pick it up...well, I probably wouldn't have an iPod anymore."

"Then it is good that you did not try to pick it up" Yvette chuckled a little. "I have not seen you around so much over the summer. You have been busy?"

The smile faded from his face almost instantly. "Yeeeah," he began, leaving a long silent and very pregnant pause after the drawn out affirmative. "Things have been...well, you know...you were at graduation."

"Yes, I know." Yvette paused, not sure how to go on, but knowing she ought to. "Julian, if you want to talk to someone, you know you can talk to your friends, yes? It seems like you have been spending most of your time alone, and we are worried about you."

Julian gave a slight sigh and nodded, lifting himself up from the water and taking a seat next to Yvette. "Yeah, I know, I've been...isolating is the term I think Nico used. I couldn't take Nick's...well, like I said, you were at graduation."

"We are all worried and sad about Nick," Yvette replied with a small sigh. "What happened... no-one was expecting it. And I think it is worse, not knowing what has happened to him exactly. It is hard to process when you do not know, yes?"

"Yeah," he said, looking out at the clear, bluish water. After a long pause he continued, "It's different though...I was right there. And..." he stopped, not sure if he should continue.

"And?" Yvette prompted gently. She wasn't any kind of therapist, but she knew talking about it was probably better than letting it fester inside.

Julian shook his head, "I've talked to half-a-dozen people about this and they all say the same thing. There's nothing I could have done and...well...I just feel like it should have been me to take that hit. Nick shouldn't have gotten in the way, ya know? I mean, can you honestly tell me you wouldn't rather be sitting here," he gestured to the lawn, "with him instead of me.

"I would rather be sitting here with both of you," Yvette replied quietly. "And Nick is the one who made the choice, Julian. He decided to get in the way, even if it meant that he would be hurt. He was saving your life, Julian. Do you think he would want you to be blaming yourself for something that he did?"
"I don't think he thinks anything anymore." The young man slipped back into the water, "For the record, I'd rather he was here instead of me."

"All the more important that you don't wish away the gift he gave you," Yvette said. "If Nick is dead, then it would be better to show you are grateful for his sacrifice and live, yes?" The words sounded familiar - Derek had said something similar, when he'd offered to keep her powers. "Nick thought it was important that you be here, Julian, enough to risk his life. Think about this, yes?"
Silently treading water, Julian nodded. It wasn't anything he hadn't heard before, but it seemed no one was willing to indulge him that it should have been him to take the hit. "I-" he began, then stopped, not knowing what to say.

"It is hard, yes, being the survivor," Yvette acknowledged, seeing him struggle. "And you are not wrong to feel the way you feel. But remember, you have people who love you here, and who are glad you are alive, at the same time that we feel bad Nick is gone. Do not convince yourself it is otherwise, yes?"

Julian nodded, his eyes closed as his head dropped slightly. "Yvette...do you think there's a chance that Nick is still alive?"

She sighed, looking down at her feet as she dangled them in the water. "I really do not know, Julian," she answered at last. "I want to belive that he is alive, but for him to be gone so long, without a trace or a word... I must admit that I do not have much hope. Then again, when Jay and Dani and Mr. Kane were gone, we thought they were dead also, and they came back. So perhaps Nick will come back also."

With a kurt nod, Julian readjusted his goggles. "I need to get back to working out before the lactic acid build-up makes me useless."

Yvette's eyes flashed, indicative of some kind of strong emotion but impossible to tell which from looking at her. "Please, take care of yourself," she said, pulling her feet out of the water. "And if you wanting to talk, my door, it is open, yes?" She offered a hopeful smile. "Perhaps I can ask Amara to be baking something nice?"