[identity profile] x-sanfuaiyaa.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] xp_logs
Slightly edited, but finally posted. Monday evening just minutes after this e-mail, Shiro goes to visit Alex in the medlab. They bond over powers, fear, and cowardice.

Look Ma, Shiro can do teh cute, too!


Despite doing nothing but sleeping since Saturday, Alex was still tired. But then again, waking up and finding out that he was in another place then when he'd fallen asleep hadn't help. Plus seeing people he wasn't sure if he wanted to see ever again. He sighed as he wiggled a bit to get comfortable, lying on his side and facing the wall. He knew there were others outside waiting to see him, Scott told him so. Maybe if I pretend I'm asleep again, they'll leave me alone...

No such luck. Shiro had been acting like a hawk the moment they had returned to the mansion after the "party." He'd given Alex the space Scott said he required, but when he received Scott's e-mail just minutes ago, any pretense of patience was shot. After hastily preparing a small meal in the kitchen, just to make sure that Alex had food in case he was hungry when he awoke, he all but flew down to the medlab. After depositing the tray by the supposedly sleeping form of his roommate, he just sat down beside the bed, quickly losing himself in thought.

He'd heard the door open and the tray being placed by the bed, but still Alex kept his eyes closed and his back to whoever had come in. Why couldn't people just leave him alone? He would have stayed like that except the smell of the food reached him and immediately he had the urge to throw up. Wincing and sitting up quickly, Alex began heaving into a bucket placed next to the bed for that very purpose. He'd been throwing up constantly for the past month and he still hated it.

Shiro swore under his breath and jumped up to help Alex. As soon as Alex's stomach was empty, Shiro grabbed a small towel. "Here." He cleaned the blond boy's mouth, ignoring his weak protests, and after discarding it, took a washcloth and soaked it with cold water to wipe his face with. "Drink some water," he ordered handing Alex a full glass. "I'll remove the food."

Alex only nodded after his mild protests hadn't worked, embarrassed that the person who had to witness him throwing up was Shiro. He took the water and sipped it slowly, hoping it would stay down. He remained silent, not knowing what to say and still clinging to the faint hope Shiro would just leave.

But Shiro returned a minute later, the food left in another room, and sat back down. His expression was unreadable, as usual, but this time because he had no idea what to say next. He had hoped that Alex would start conversation, but seeing as how that was not to be had, took the burden upon himself. "Do you feel better now?" he asked, trying to keep his tone light and friendly.

Alex again only nodded, keeping his eyes looking down at the water glass in his hand. He swirled it gently, watching the water spin around, the other hand idly going to his neck to play with the collar that he forgot wasn't there anymore. He sighed softly, closing his eyes.

"Alex . . ." Shiro bit his lip, eyes darting around the room. He had to say something, anything, to lighten the mood. "I'm glad you're back," he said softly, resorting to the simplest and most obvious thought. "It's been . . ." He paused, censoring himself. No good in sounding mushy or fluffy right now. "It's nice to see you again."

For some reason, this brought up a lot of guilt inside Alex, even more then before. He swallowed hard before looking up at Shiro, and was amazed to see signs of concern on the Japanese boy's face. He licked his lips before squirming around a bit, feeling uncomfortable. "I wish I could say I'm glad to be back..." he began softly, "but it is good to see you again, Shiro." He looked down before Shiro could answer, afraid of the response though he wasn't sure why.

Shiro just blinked, confused. How could anyone want to be kept prisoner by an abusive witch? "What do you mean? Why are you not relieved to have been taken away from that foul place?"

"I was relieved when I was there because while it was foul, I was safe. As a prisoner I couldn't hurt anyone..." He took a quick drink of water before looking away at the wall. "I don't expect you to understand Shiro...it took me long enough..."

All that 'you don't understand' business always gets on Shiro's nerves, but he schooled his expression because he didn't want to scare away Alex. "How can you say that?" he asked calmly instead. "I have told you that I have lost control of my own powers as well. I know what it is like."

"And haven't you ever wished someone could just take it all away? Make it so you are safe again? Wouldn't you give up everything so you wouldn't hurt people anymore?" He shook his head again, still not looking at Shiro. "You're stronger then I am Shiro...You seem to be able to handle it...I can't." Placing the glass on the table, Alex lay back down and looked up at the ceiling, sighing sadly.

Shiro immediately took the glass and refilled it, placing it beside Alex if he wanted more. "Never. It's who I am, Alex, and I refuse to change for anyone or anything. It is a terrible burden, that is sure, but I do what I can to master it."

"See? You are stronger then I am. I'll never be able to master it and all I'll ever do is hurt people. She allowed me to see that...and that's when I stopped fighting her." Now he looked over at Shiro, both curious and frightened of his response, but he had to know what Shiro thought.

Shiro looked at Alex straight in the eyes, his face still emotionless. "That is cowardly speech, Alex. You will master it if you are given the proper training. You cannot give up so easily. And you certainly cannot run from it anymore, not at the cost of your own life."

"Cowardly yes, but also true." He shrugged. "Can't much help that. And all I've ever done is run. She gave me a way to stop running, even if I did have to pay with my life. It was more then I ever got for my freedom here. Or my life..." Alex trailed off softly then shook his head. "I told you you wouldn't understand..."

"I don't want you to pay with your life," Shiro said, much more forcefully than he would have intended. "I would rather have you as my roommate." He crossed his arms over his chest and eyed Alex. "I have been told that this institution was established for the purpose of stopping young mutants from having to run."

"It's not the institution that I'm afraid of, at least I don't think." Alex winced and squirmed uncomfortably, knowing that sounded lame but he couldn't think of anything else to say to that...but then he remembered the first part of what Shiro had said. "You still want me as your roommate?" Alex asked softly.

"Do you think I would be down here if I did not?" Shiro asked, lips quirking up into a smile that he finally let rest on his face. "There are other ways I could be spending my evening. But I am not. I would think that that should be enough to convince you." Shiro reached out and placed his hand over Alex's. "And if you try to leave again, I will be forced to sit on you." Grinning, he withdrew his hand.

Alex couldn't help but smile for the first time in forever. True it was a small smile, but a smile at that. It hadn't even occurred to Alex that he might still have friends here and was close to tears to find that he still had one. But being a boy and not good at mushy, he didn't exactly know how to express it. "I'll remember that if I ever try again. I'm sure you're heavier then you look," he cracked, almost feeling like his old self for a moment.

"I could hold my sword to your throat and look threatening, but I am under the impression that such behavior is frowned upon." Shiro shrugged and sat back, the smile unable to leave his face because of Alex's own.

"I'd certainly hope so or this place is more whacked out then I thought possible." The smile was interrupted by a yawn that Alex couldn't suppress. He shook his head a moment. "I have done so much sleeping lately that you would think I wouldn't be tired but I still am...funny how that works..."

"You have no idea," he muttered as he got to his feet. "You should rest some more. I will come by later to see how you are feeling. Is there anything you would like right now?"

Alex shook his head slowly, obviously tired. "Nope, I think the water's fine for now. And thanks Shiro...for everything. I didn't realize I still had someone to call a friend, but I'm glad it's you..." Alex said drowsily as he curled up on his side and fell asleep.

Shiro just gave Alex a small smile and muttered a "Sleep well" before leaving the room. As he made his way back upstairs again, he made note to speak with Scott soon. Things needed to be discussed. But for now, Shiro was inwardly beaming; Alex was back.

Date: 2004-03-02 04:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] x-rogue.livejournal.com
Ee! Yes, this is teh cute! :) *cuddles Shiro & Alex* Good scene.

Date: 2004-03-02 08:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] x-cyclops.livejournal.com
Yay, go Shiro! *roots from the cheap seats*

Date: 2004-03-02 10:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] x-havok.livejournal.com
I've said it before, but again I have to express my undying love for Shiro...*huggles both boys*

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