Vanessa & Wade | Friday afternoon
Feb. 25th, 2011 03:00 pmAfter taking a few days to occasionally consider her last encounter with Wade, Vanessa shows up in his suite to clear the air now that she is no longer off balance.
There had been a world of awkward going on for Vanessa when Wade had kissed her. He had caught her completely off guard when he’d done that. For one, she’d been mostly convinced he was mostly gay. For another, it wasn’t one of those meaningless, off the cuff sorts of kisses. He had put thought into it. She’d had no preparation for that. Going away had helped, as graceless as fleeing had been. Of course, now she was back at the mansion because obviously she had to assess this situation and figure out if there was something going on that needed to be addressed or not.
The mansion was a tricky place for Vanessa right now. She had hurt Lex when she’d broken up with him and she knew that. Salt didn’t need to be rubbed into that wound, particularly since Lex tended to feel things deeply. That meant she was basically sneaking around in order to ensure she didn’t run into him from the start. When she got up to Wade’s suite she was happy to find the door open, further minimizing the chances of having an awkward run in with her ex.
Vanessa tended to move around close to silently, but the click of the door swinging shut behind her announced her presence.
Wade looked up from where he was watching a crocodile stalk a wildebeest on Nat Geo and raised his eyebrows. “Hey,” he said, giving her a smile. “You’re here just at the good part - I think something’s gonna get eaten.” Then he pointed at the television, just for clarification’s sake.
“Can’t get rid of that predator instinct, huh?” Her tone was light, joking. She sounded much more like herself than she had the last time she’d been there. Vanessa made her way over to the couch, but she stayed behind it, watching the crocodile on the screen. “I think the wildebeest is going to get away. They’re faster and they’ve got the leg length advantage.”
“I think the croc’s gonna have a tasty wildebeest supper,” Wade predicted, keeping half his attention on Vanessa and the other half on the documentary. “That surprise attack, laying in wait thing usually works. And the filmmakers almost never show these scenes when the wildebeest or zebra or antelope gets away. It’s always chomp. Dead herd animal.”
“Surprise attacks will bite prey in the ass every time,” she agreed, though her voice suggested she wasn’t talking about wild animals. Vanessa came around the couch and gave Wade a moment of consideration before climbing on top of him where he sat. She settled quite comfortably onto his lap, straddling him and settling her arms around him so her hands could clasp together behind his neck. “Speaking of surprise attacks...”
Wade blinked. He suddenly had a lapful of Vanessa. Warning signals were going off in his head and he knew he should heed them, but he just sort of tipped his head to the side, one cheek resting against her forearm, and looked up at her instead. “Color me surprised.” Then he shifted on the couch so she was a little more stable and settled his hands at her waist, which was the polite place to put them when a girl was this close to you. “Pleasantly surprised.”
“This isn’t the surprise attack I was talking about,” she told him, her head tilting in the opposite direction his had. “I’m talking about your surprise attack, oh cake feeding aficionado of mine.” Her eyes narrowed a little, lips pursing a bit as well in an expression that was a little wary of perhaps a repeat surprise attack. “Because that was a surprise attack with intention and thought behind it. It was a sneaky attack and I didn’t see it coming.”
“That’s sort of the point of surprise, sneaky attacks,” Wade said, his tone reasonable. And then his thumbs started toying with the hem of her shirt and he smiled. “I told you why I did it already. What’s there to talk about?”
She looked down at the hand playing with the edge of her shirt. “Stuff like that.”
Wade looked at his hand, then back up at Vanessa and quirked an eyebrow. “Am I not supposed to do stuff like that?” One thumb slid beneath the hem of her shirt and ran along the waistband of her jeans, just barely brushing skin.
An eyebrow arched upward in response to his and the thumb sliding against her skin faintly. She had been prepared for the possibility of him being more physical with his flirting this time around so it didn’t knock her off balance the way it had before. “Wasn’t there something about a hug and a kiss before you could be had? Hardly seems fair that you get to just take me without permission, does it?” Her tone was more playful than annoyed, though. Nothing about her suggested he needed to stop.
“I took care of the kissing part and I’m willing to be lenient on the hugging bit - I mean, I’ll consider your hand on my waist a hug, even though really... you sleeping on top of me kind of counts more toward it, so maybe I’ll go with that,” Wade said, nodding a little.
She tried to hold her amusement in check, but a faint whisper of a smile snuck out even through her pursed lips. “Mm...and what sort of having of you would this entitle me to? Some people like to be had in naked, dirty ways and nothing else. Other’s won’t be had without also being kept. For some they like incremental having. You know, the kissing,” her eyes fell down to the hand at her waist, “and the touching and working up to increasingly more naked and interesting forms of having.”
“I like that last one,” Wade said. “I’m a real big fan of that incremental having.” Then he tipped his head to the side and considered Vanessa, his thumb still brushing her skin because it was soft and he liked it. “I’m pretty sure I’d like to be kept, too.”
Vanessa bit her lip. He’d like to be kept. Just her luck, a guy wants to be kept right when she doesn’t want to keep anyone. Her teeth worried that poor, captured lip while she considered her options. “See, that’s where we have a problem. I’m not up for keeping anyone right now.” Honesty was always the way to go. Not giving Lex full disclosure a month or so ago was part of what had made that abused puppy look on his face so damn severe, after all. “I was keeping someone fairly recently. I’m not keeping them anymore, but I’m not up for keeping anyone else yet either.” Her eyes kept going down to where she could feel his thumb against her stomach. Damn, that was distracting. “See, that’s why I didn’t kiss you sooner. ‘Cause if you want to be kept then,” Vanessa shrugged and looked back up at Wade. “Then I’m not your girl.”
“Huh,” Wade said, setting the pad of his thumb against Vanessa’s stomach and tapping it for a moment before the digit stilled and his other thumb began moving. He thought over what she said. Relationships were tricky things, from what he understood of them. “I’m not really into the idea of being a rebound keeper,” he finally said, nodding a little. “But... I like the incremental having. So... why don’t we just agree to leave the keeping thing off the table and see where the having gets us?”
She had gone back to chewing on her lips while he had thought and spoken. It was turning a darker blue, almost a faint purple, from the attention of her teeth. “I’m not into rebounding. I’m not generally into hurting people or using them so the whole idea of a rebound person doesn’t appeal,” she admitted. Having but not keeping, huh? Vanessa wanted to say yes to that. She wanted to but she couldn’t just give a blanket yes. That would be too easy. “Having without keeping means there is no claim involved here.” She nodded between them because her hands were pretty comfy where they were and she didn’t feel like moving them. “No exclusivity, no ‘this is mine and no one else gets it.’ Jealousy puts an end to any and all having really quickly. So any misguided belief that having involves you being the only one who can have me needs to be swept off the table now or there is no having, aye?”
“Aye,” Wade said, nodding. “So long as it’s off the table for both of us.” There wasn’t really anyone else he wanted to have or be had by, per se, but Warren was hot and distracting, what with those wings and all, and Wade was pretty sure that, if given the option, he might go for having that.
A small smirk quirked a corner of Vanessa’s mouth upward. “Do you think I’m the jealous sort or just that your appeal is so undeniable that once I realize you’ve got a veritable harem at your disposable that I’ll get upset?” It was entirely valid of him to want to make sure the clarification was there that neither of them had any exclusive claim to the other, but she couldn’t help the teasing.
“I think things get complicated and it’s best to have things outlined beforehand, just in case,” Wade said, both thumbs sweeping up and over her stomach in tandem. Then he grinned. “I think we’ll have to see how you react to my harem.”
“I don’t really do jealousy,” Vanessa told him, mostly thinking aloud. “There’s a definite mine thing that happens when there’s keeping involved. But I flirt too much to get jealous of other people flirting or what have you.” Her stomach tensed and sucked inward for a moment when a thumb hit a spot that was a little ticklish. Vanessa forced the muscles to relax again. “We might need to work out scheduling if our harems overlap, though. I’ve got all the pretty ladies in mine so I bet there’s some conflict there.” As an afterthought she added, “And I don’t do threesomes, should said harems overlap. Ever. I don’t like sharing when I’m in the act of having and don’t particularly like being shared. I don’t care what you do or who you do it with as long as I’m not there while it’s going on, aye?” It was entirely possible she might get a little possessive in a multiple partner participation sort of scenario.
“That’s alright. I don’t do threesomes, myself,” Wade said, nodding. “I mean, nothing against people who do, but it’s just not really my style. I’m a one person at a time kinda guy.” He smiled, then, and said, “It sort of goes along with the manners thing, I guess.” He didn’t feel the need right this moment to tell her anything more about himself than she already knew, but he might in the future, depending on how the ‘having’ thing went.
His manners thing that involved weirdness about sleeping in a bed with a woman. “Hm...how much patience goes with those manners?” Patience could be key with incremental having. “Every situation and person is different, but I’m not typically a rush through the incrementing kind of girl. I’ve been accused of being a tease in the past.”
“I told you once, I can be very, very patient,” Wade said. “Especially when it comes to things that trigger my ‘must use manners’ thing.” He leaned in a little, brow quirked up at the corner in silent question, and then pressed a very soft kiss to the corner of her lips.
Why did she get the feeling that she was in way more trouble than she had thought she would be getting into here? Because you’re a sucker and he keeps talking about having manners. She was totally screwed. Her hands released each other and long fingers from one hand laced through Wade’s hair. Vanessa leaned in and kissed him fully on the lips, though it was kept just as soft as the kiss he’d just given. “Have your manners gotten over their weirdness about sharing a bed with me yet? For future reference, of course,” she whispered, close enough that her lips brushed his when she spoke.
“Uh huh,” Wade said, tipping his head to the side so he could kiss her again. “Me and the manners are good with sharing a bed with you. Definitely.”
“Mm...good. I’d hate to have to resent your manners.” She was smiling as she spoke, voice quiet and low. Vanessa kissed him again, apparently unwilling to pull farther away or stop. The kisses never pushed farther. Always soft. Always simple. Always just enough to make her want another. Always only her lips on his. She could admit that she liked it that way.
“My manners hate being resented,” Wade murmured, thumbs shifting until they were teasing at her sides rather than her stomach. “Good thing we got that all cleared up.”
The thumbs at her side touched her so lightly that the brushing of rough skin over that spot had Vanessa wiggling from side to side a bit in a vain attempt to get away from it. She hated being vaguely ticklish. She even started to scoot back toward his knees to get more out of reach. “Mm...your manners and I are going to be great mates. Might have to have a word with your hands though.”
Wade moved his hands up so his palms could cover the skin he’d tickled by accident. “My hands tend to wander, it’s true,” he said, nodding a little. “They don’t do it on purpose, of course.” And then he pulled her back in closer, fingers sliding free of her shirt so he could wrap his arms loosely around her waist. “They apologize.”
She looked at him through narrowed eyes for all of a heartbeat before nodding. “They’re forgiven.” She settled in once pulled back, fingers playing idly with the hair at the nape of his neck. “I don’t mind them wandering, because then I’d be made out to be a hypocrite. They can wander. I’d just really like it if they could not tickle me.”
“They’ll try really hard not to,” Wade said, tone solemn. “Otherwise, the manners’ll smack ‘em around a bit and that’d be sad.”
“Mm, that would be.” Vanessa nodded. “If your manners smack them around too much they could get very shy and increments down the line that would make me very sad.”
“And we can’t have that,” Wade said, stealing another kiss. He grinned, leaning back a little so he could tip his head to the side again. “Do you want to watch the Nat Geo documentary with me? Can that be an increment?”
Vanessa looked over her shoulder at the television. The crocodile must have killed that wildebeest because now there were hyenas on the screen. “Technically you skipped that increment when you kissed me,” she told him and slid off his lap to one side so one leg folded under her and the other stretched across his lap. “So it would be increment catch up, really.”
“Well, I want to do the increments right,” Wade said, voice sincere. “So let’s catch up.”
“Does doing the increments right mean you’re going to stop kissing me until you get caught up on the skipped ones?” She totally pouted at him with wide, hopefully pathetic, eyes.
“Nah, that’d be silly. But we still need to catch up,” Wade said, nodding. “Also, I have this awesome idea for next week and if I have to go through like six increments before I can do that, I’m gonna be sad. Crazy Frank’s only in New York State for like, two days.”
Her fingertip came to rest on the tip of Wade’s nose as she said, “You are way more than six increments off from homemade porn, never mind professionally shot porn.”
Wade grinned. “Crazy Frank shoots things, yeah, but not porn.” He caught her finger and then turned so he could waggle his eyebrows at her. “That’s all I’m sayin’. The rest is a surprise.”
“Then how do you know your increments will be caught up for this surprise?” Anything with a guy named Crazy Frank had to be full of mischief. You just couldn’t be named Crazy Frank and be either sane or boring.
“Because this surprise doesn’t involve taking clothing off or tongues,” Wade said, nodding solemnly. “I promise, I’m not skipping ahead in increments.”
She considered that, then nodded. Vanessa leaned into his side, attention drifting back over to the hyenas. “I want a pet wildebeest,” she told him out of the blue. She didn’t really want a pet wildebeest, but the thought amused her.
“I’ve heard they smell,” Wade commented. “Though I’ve only ever really dealt with cows.”
Her nose wrinkled. “I don’t want a pet cow. Maybe an ocelot. Ocelots are much cooler than normal cats. Mostly because they’re called ocelots.” It was a cool word and now Vanessa was repeating it over and over in her head.
“Eccentric writers used to keep pet ocelots,” Wade offered, tipping his head to the side so his cheek could rest against her hair. “I can’t remember which ones, but they did. I bet they’d make awesome pets. Illegal, but awesome.”
“She could be my attack kitty for the office and my apartment when I’m not in. Robbers would be so screwed. On the one hand you get the blue chick with the knife or the gun or the sword. On the other hand...ocelot.” Vanessa laughed. Her eyes flicked upward and her head tilted back until she could catch the slightest bit of skin. Mostly she ended up looking at his nose cross-eyed. “Will you get me a pet ocelot when we get to that increment?”
“Yes,” Wade said, nodding. “When we get to the pet ocelot increment, I will so totally get you the best ocelot ever, I’m not even joking.”
“Of course you will, love.” She patted his leg, clearly not believing he would do it. Who actually gave a woman a pet wild animal? Especially a wild cat of all things.
Wade didn’t press the issue, just made himself a mental note to look up how one went about obtaining an ocelot for one’s incremental person when it came time for that increment. “Oh, flamingos!”
There had been a world of awkward going on for Vanessa when Wade had kissed her. He had caught her completely off guard when he’d done that. For one, she’d been mostly convinced he was mostly gay. For another, it wasn’t one of those meaningless, off the cuff sorts of kisses. He had put thought into it. She’d had no preparation for that. Going away had helped, as graceless as fleeing had been. Of course, now she was back at the mansion because obviously she had to assess this situation and figure out if there was something going on that needed to be addressed or not.
The mansion was a tricky place for Vanessa right now. She had hurt Lex when she’d broken up with him and she knew that. Salt didn’t need to be rubbed into that wound, particularly since Lex tended to feel things deeply. That meant she was basically sneaking around in order to ensure she didn’t run into him from the start. When she got up to Wade’s suite she was happy to find the door open, further minimizing the chances of having an awkward run in with her ex.
Vanessa tended to move around close to silently, but the click of the door swinging shut behind her announced her presence.
Wade looked up from where he was watching a crocodile stalk a wildebeest on Nat Geo and raised his eyebrows. “Hey,” he said, giving her a smile. “You’re here just at the good part - I think something’s gonna get eaten.” Then he pointed at the television, just for clarification’s sake.
“Can’t get rid of that predator instinct, huh?” Her tone was light, joking. She sounded much more like herself than she had the last time she’d been there. Vanessa made her way over to the couch, but she stayed behind it, watching the crocodile on the screen. “I think the wildebeest is going to get away. They’re faster and they’ve got the leg length advantage.”
“I think the croc’s gonna have a tasty wildebeest supper,” Wade predicted, keeping half his attention on Vanessa and the other half on the documentary. “That surprise attack, laying in wait thing usually works. And the filmmakers almost never show these scenes when the wildebeest or zebra or antelope gets away. It’s always chomp. Dead herd animal.”
“Surprise attacks will bite prey in the ass every time,” she agreed, though her voice suggested she wasn’t talking about wild animals. Vanessa came around the couch and gave Wade a moment of consideration before climbing on top of him where he sat. She settled quite comfortably onto his lap, straddling him and settling her arms around him so her hands could clasp together behind his neck. “Speaking of surprise attacks...”
Wade blinked. He suddenly had a lapful of Vanessa. Warning signals were going off in his head and he knew he should heed them, but he just sort of tipped his head to the side, one cheek resting against her forearm, and looked up at her instead. “Color me surprised.” Then he shifted on the couch so she was a little more stable and settled his hands at her waist, which was the polite place to put them when a girl was this close to you. “Pleasantly surprised.”
“This isn’t the surprise attack I was talking about,” she told him, her head tilting in the opposite direction his had. “I’m talking about your surprise attack, oh cake feeding aficionado of mine.” Her eyes narrowed a little, lips pursing a bit as well in an expression that was a little wary of perhaps a repeat surprise attack. “Because that was a surprise attack with intention and thought behind it. It was a sneaky attack and I didn’t see it coming.”
“That’s sort of the point of surprise, sneaky attacks,” Wade said, his tone reasonable. And then his thumbs started toying with the hem of her shirt and he smiled. “I told you why I did it already. What’s there to talk about?”
She looked down at the hand playing with the edge of her shirt. “Stuff like that.”
Wade looked at his hand, then back up at Vanessa and quirked an eyebrow. “Am I not supposed to do stuff like that?” One thumb slid beneath the hem of her shirt and ran along the waistband of her jeans, just barely brushing skin.
An eyebrow arched upward in response to his and the thumb sliding against her skin faintly. She had been prepared for the possibility of him being more physical with his flirting this time around so it didn’t knock her off balance the way it had before. “Wasn’t there something about a hug and a kiss before you could be had? Hardly seems fair that you get to just take me without permission, does it?” Her tone was more playful than annoyed, though. Nothing about her suggested he needed to stop.
“I took care of the kissing part and I’m willing to be lenient on the hugging bit - I mean, I’ll consider your hand on my waist a hug, even though really... you sleeping on top of me kind of counts more toward it, so maybe I’ll go with that,” Wade said, nodding a little.
She tried to hold her amusement in check, but a faint whisper of a smile snuck out even through her pursed lips. “Mm...and what sort of having of you would this entitle me to? Some people like to be had in naked, dirty ways and nothing else. Other’s won’t be had without also being kept. For some they like incremental having. You know, the kissing,” her eyes fell down to the hand at her waist, “and the touching and working up to increasingly more naked and interesting forms of having.”
“I like that last one,” Wade said. “I’m a real big fan of that incremental having.” Then he tipped his head to the side and considered Vanessa, his thumb still brushing her skin because it was soft and he liked it. “I’m pretty sure I’d like to be kept, too.”
Vanessa bit her lip. He’d like to be kept. Just her luck, a guy wants to be kept right when she doesn’t want to keep anyone. Her teeth worried that poor, captured lip while she considered her options. “See, that’s where we have a problem. I’m not up for keeping anyone right now.” Honesty was always the way to go. Not giving Lex full disclosure a month or so ago was part of what had made that abused puppy look on his face so damn severe, after all. “I was keeping someone fairly recently. I’m not keeping them anymore, but I’m not up for keeping anyone else yet either.” Her eyes kept going down to where she could feel his thumb against her stomach. Damn, that was distracting. “See, that’s why I didn’t kiss you sooner. ‘Cause if you want to be kept then,” Vanessa shrugged and looked back up at Wade. “Then I’m not your girl.”
“Huh,” Wade said, setting the pad of his thumb against Vanessa’s stomach and tapping it for a moment before the digit stilled and his other thumb began moving. He thought over what she said. Relationships were tricky things, from what he understood of them. “I’m not really into the idea of being a rebound keeper,” he finally said, nodding a little. “But... I like the incremental having. So... why don’t we just agree to leave the keeping thing off the table and see where the having gets us?”
She had gone back to chewing on her lips while he had thought and spoken. It was turning a darker blue, almost a faint purple, from the attention of her teeth. “I’m not into rebounding. I’m not generally into hurting people or using them so the whole idea of a rebound person doesn’t appeal,” she admitted. Having but not keeping, huh? Vanessa wanted to say yes to that. She wanted to but she couldn’t just give a blanket yes. That would be too easy. “Having without keeping means there is no claim involved here.” She nodded between them because her hands were pretty comfy where they were and she didn’t feel like moving them. “No exclusivity, no ‘this is mine and no one else gets it.’ Jealousy puts an end to any and all having really quickly. So any misguided belief that having involves you being the only one who can have me needs to be swept off the table now or there is no having, aye?”
“Aye,” Wade said, nodding. “So long as it’s off the table for both of us.” There wasn’t really anyone else he wanted to have or be had by, per se, but Warren was hot and distracting, what with those wings and all, and Wade was pretty sure that, if given the option, he might go for having that.
A small smirk quirked a corner of Vanessa’s mouth upward. “Do you think I’m the jealous sort or just that your appeal is so undeniable that once I realize you’ve got a veritable harem at your disposable that I’ll get upset?” It was entirely valid of him to want to make sure the clarification was there that neither of them had any exclusive claim to the other, but she couldn’t help the teasing.
“I think things get complicated and it’s best to have things outlined beforehand, just in case,” Wade said, both thumbs sweeping up and over her stomach in tandem. Then he grinned. “I think we’ll have to see how you react to my harem.”
“I don’t really do jealousy,” Vanessa told him, mostly thinking aloud. “There’s a definite mine thing that happens when there’s keeping involved. But I flirt too much to get jealous of other people flirting or what have you.” Her stomach tensed and sucked inward for a moment when a thumb hit a spot that was a little ticklish. Vanessa forced the muscles to relax again. “We might need to work out scheduling if our harems overlap, though. I’ve got all the pretty ladies in mine so I bet there’s some conflict there.” As an afterthought she added, “And I don’t do threesomes, should said harems overlap. Ever. I don’t like sharing when I’m in the act of having and don’t particularly like being shared. I don’t care what you do or who you do it with as long as I’m not there while it’s going on, aye?” It was entirely possible she might get a little possessive in a multiple partner participation sort of scenario.
“That’s alright. I don’t do threesomes, myself,” Wade said, nodding. “I mean, nothing against people who do, but it’s just not really my style. I’m a one person at a time kinda guy.” He smiled, then, and said, “It sort of goes along with the manners thing, I guess.” He didn’t feel the need right this moment to tell her anything more about himself than she already knew, but he might in the future, depending on how the ‘having’ thing went.
His manners thing that involved weirdness about sleeping in a bed with a woman. “Hm...how much patience goes with those manners?” Patience could be key with incremental having. “Every situation and person is different, but I’m not typically a rush through the incrementing kind of girl. I’ve been accused of being a tease in the past.”
“I told you once, I can be very, very patient,” Wade said. “Especially when it comes to things that trigger my ‘must use manners’ thing.” He leaned in a little, brow quirked up at the corner in silent question, and then pressed a very soft kiss to the corner of her lips.
Why did she get the feeling that she was in way more trouble than she had thought she would be getting into here? Because you’re a sucker and he keeps talking about having manners. She was totally screwed. Her hands released each other and long fingers from one hand laced through Wade’s hair. Vanessa leaned in and kissed him fully on the lips, though it was kept just as soft as the kiss he’d just given. “Have your manners gotten over their weirdness about sharing a bed with me yet? For future reference, of course,” she whispered, close enough that her lips brushed his when she spoke.
“Uh huh,” Wade said, tipping his head to the side so he could kiss her again. “Me and the manners are good with sharing a bed with you. Definitely.”
“Mm...good. I’d hate to have to resent your manners.” She was smiling as she spoke, voice quiet and low. Vanessa kissed him again, apparently unwilling to pull farther away or stop. The kisses never pushed farther. Always soft. Always simple. Always just enough to make her want another. Always only her lips on his. She could admit that she liked it that way.
“My manners hate being resented,” Wade murmured, thumbs shifting until they were teasing at her sides rather than her stomach. “Good thing we got that all cleared up.”
The thumbs at her side touched her so lightly that the brushing of rough skin over that spot had Vanessa wiggling from side to side a bit in a vain attempt to get away from it. She hated being vaguely ticklish. She even started to scoot back toward his knees to get more out of reach. “Mm...your manners and I are going to be great mates. Might have to have a word with your hands though.”
Wade moved his hands up so his palms could cover the skin he’d tickled by accident. “My hands tend to wander, it’s true,” he said, nodding a little. “They don’t do it on purpose, of course.” And then he pulled her back in closer, fingers sliding free of her shirt so he could wrap his arms loosely around her waist. “They apologize.”
She looked at him through narrowed eyes for all of a heartbeat before nodding. “They’re forgiven.” She settled in once pulled back, fingers playing idly with the hair at the nape of his neck. “I don’t mind them wandering, because then I’d be made out to be a hypocrite. They can wander. I’d just really like it if they could not tickle me.”
“They’ll try really hard not to,” Wade said, tone solemn. “Otherwise, the manners’ll smack ‘em around a bit and that’d be sad.”
“Mm, that would be.” Vanessa nodded. “If your manners smack them around too much they could get very shy and increments down the line that would make me very sad.”
“And we can’t have that,” Wade said, stealing another kiss. He grinned, leaning back a little so he could tip his head to the side again. “Do you want to watch the Nat Geo documentary with me? Can that be an increment?”
Vanessa looked over her shoulder at the television. The crocodile must have killed that wildebeest because now there were hyenas on the screen. “Technically you skipped that increment when you kissed me,” she told him and slid off his lap to one side so one leg folded under her and the other stretched across his lap. “So it would be increment catch up, really.”
“Well, I want to do the increments right,” Wade said, voice sincere. “So let’s catch up.”
“Does doing the increments right mean you’re going to stop kissing me until you get caught up on the skipped ones?” She totally pouted at him with wide, hopefully pathetic, eyes.
“Nah, that’d be silly. But we still need to catch up,” Wade said, nodding. “Also, I have this awesome idea for next week and if I have to go through like six increments before I can do that, I’m gonna be sad. Crazy Frank’s only in New York State for like, two days.”
Her fingertip came to rest on the tip of Wade’s nose as she said, “You are way more than six increments off from homemade porn, never mind professionally shot porn.”
Wade grinned. “Crazy Frank shoots things, yeah, but not porn.” He caught her finger and then turned so he could waggle his eyebrows at her. “That’s all I’m sayin’. The rest is a surprise.”
“Then how do you know your increments will be caught up for this surprise?” Anything with a guy named Crazy Frank had to be full of mischief. You just couldn’t be named Crazy Frank and be either sane or boring.
“Because this surprise doesn’t involve taking clothing off or tongues,” Wade said, nodding solemnly. “I promise, I’m not skipping ahead in increments.”
She considered that, then nodded. Vanessa leaned into his side, attention drifting back over to the hyenas. “I want a pet wildebeest,” she told him out of the blue. She didn’t really want a pet wildebeest, but the thought amused her.
“I’ve heard they smell,” Wade commented. “Though I’ve only ever really dealt with cows.”
Her nose wrinkled. “I don’t want a pet cow. Maybe an ocelot. Ocelots are much cooler than normal cats. Mostly because they’re called ocelots.” It was a cool word and now Vanessa was repeating it over and over in her head.
“Eccentric writers used to keep pet ocelots,” Wade offered, tipping his head to the side so his cheek could rest against her hair. “I can’t remember which ones, but they did. I bet they’d make awesome pets. Illegal, but awesome.”
“She could be my attack kitty for the office and my apartment when I’m not in. Robbers would be so screwed. On the one hand you get the blue chick with the knife or the gun or the sword. On the other hand...ocelot.” Vanessa laughed. Her eyes flicked upward and her head tilted back until she could catch the slightest bit of skin. Mostly she ended up looking at his nose cross-eyed. “Will you get me a pet ocelot when we get to that increment?”
“Yes,” Wade said, nodding. “When we get to the pet ocelot increment, I will so totally get you the best ocelot ever, I’m not even joking.”
“Of course you will, love.” She patted his leg, clearly not believing he would do it. Who actually gave a woman a pet wild animal? Especially a wild cat of all things.
Wade didn’t press the issue, just made himself a mental note to look up how one went about obtaining an ocelot for one’s incremental person when it came time for that increment. “Oh, flamingos!”