Tabitha & Wade | Monday Morning

[x-deadpool.livejournal.com]

Tabitha is shelving books. Wade is singing. These two worlds collide - on purpose.


Though she'd been getting out more lately, Tabitha still spent most of her time in the library. Today she had new books to shelve. Teeny bopper fiction might make her crazy to even order, but if it got the kids to read, she would do it.

Wade could play the harmonica if he really tried, but he couldn't play the harmonica and sing at the same time. Not that anyone ever really wanted to hear him sing. That wasn't the point of his demonstration, of course, and if any students were unfortunate enough to be in the library, well. They'd probably high-tail it out of there as soon as they realized what was going on. He sat a boom box on the front desk and fiddled with it until he was sure the tape he'd made was in it right and where he needed it to be, then he hit play and started serenading his paranoid hot chick.

"It’s been raining in the trenches all day long, dripping down to my clothes. My patience is wearing thin, got a fire inside my nose..."

The music started to play and Tabitha stood straight up, turning her head to find it. When he started to sing, she jumped up on the first shelf of a stack to see over the top. "You are insane!" She laughed and just continued to watch him.

"Searching for the truth the way God designed it - the truth is I might drown before I find it. Well, I need a woman, yes I do, need a woman, yes I do..." Wade didn't let Tabitha's enthusiastic response throw him off his game. He had this. He totally had this.

It was hard to clap while perched on the side of a book shelf, but she managed. She even achieved a half-decent wolf whistle. Her students were going to think she was insane.

Served 'em right, having sex in her library.

"Someone who can see me as I am, somebody who just don't give a damn... and I want you to be that woman every night - be that woman..."

Wade could have kept going - that was only the first verse and the chorus, after all. But he flipped the boom box off instead and grinned at the clapping librarian.

Tabitha hopped down from her perch and walked around to meet him. "That was... inspired." She shook her head with a laugh. "Glad the vinyl was a hit."

"It really was," Wade said, grinning. He gave a bow, just for fun, and even included that flippy little hand motion people did when they were showing off while bowing. Because he was a classy fellow, obviously.

"You really aren't bad at that. Do it often?" she teased.

"Nah," Wade said, grinning as he straightened up. "Not often. Just when it counts."

"I must say, I am impressed by your effort. Especially after that computer thing." She lowered her eyes in what she hoped was humility.

"The computer thing's fine," Wade said, grinning. "Just don't do it again, if you please. Or give me fair warning or something so I don't drown another laptop." His paranoia was entirely justified, he just didn't want anyone else to really know that. Besides, if someone actually tried to blow him up with a bomb in his computer, he'd have bigger problems than the time it took to heal on his hands. He'd have to figure out who tracked him here, how they did it, and then he'd have to find them and kill them before they could do any more damage. And then he'd have to leave the mansion for good instead of risking the safety of the kids who were all here.

Oh dear, how to bring up Doug... She grimaced and leaned back against the circulation desk. "You should probably know..." She trailed off, and damned if she didn't feel a slight flush creeping up her cheeks. "The hacker who did it for me? Kind of thinks you challenged him," she rushed the words out.

Wade thought about that for a second, frowned, and then sighed. "Shit." He didn't usually curse in front of women, but he had a feeling this hacker might make his life difficult. "How much of a challenge are we talking here?"

She clasped her hands together to keep from fidgeting. "Probably more ridiculous stuff, really nothing terribly serious. He's not usually vindictive." Unless you kidnapped his sister. "You can just say you didn't mean it as a challenge?" she suggested in a small voice.

"I thought you'd hacked my computer," Wade said, snorting softly. Then he smiled - he hated it when women looked distressed and his paranoid hot chick was looking decidedly distressed. "I really didn't mean to issue a challenge. I don't speak hacker - it's not one of my strong suits."

"I'll talk to him," she promised, relaxing. "And I am not that good at manipulating computers. Information I can do. All kinds of information from many types of sources." She was a librarian, after all.

"Information is good," Wade said, still smiling. "Don't worry too much about the hacker, though. I mean, if it really comes down to it, I can use my phone. Can he hack a phone?" He didn't now if that was possible or not. Technology really wasn't his forte. Give him a knife and somebody to stab any day.

That made her pause. "I don't actually know," she said. She glanced at her own phone over on her desk with a new, wary eye. She'd been eligible for an upgrade for five years, maybe it was time to take the duct-taped thing in for something with more security. "And now you have me living up to the nickname!" She narrowed her eyes at him.

"Living up to expectations is important," Wade said, nodding sagely. "Though, really, you lived up to it the first night I started talking to you on the journals... at least you never have to worry about failing my expectations!"

She sniffed and crossed her arms. "It isn't paranoia when they are out to get you," she mangled the quote. "Though I may need to work on my textual humor. The flame thrower comment was a joke, y'know."

"Please note," Wade said, raising one finger. "I never said your paranoia wasn't justified. I just called you on the fact that you are paranoid." Then he grinned. "What flame thrower comment?"

"Do you really not remember or are you humoring me?" She shook her head with a confused smile. "I thought the paranoid label was given because I asked if it was time to get the flame-thrower."

"I just like hearing you say 'flame thrower,'" Wade said, still grinning. Then he waggled his eyebrows. "That entire conversation made me think you were paranoid. And hot, but mostly paranoid."

"Flame thrower?" Tabitha only looked more confused. "Mr. Wilson, you have very strange aural kinks." She wasn't going to touch the "hot" part. Not yet.

Waggling his eyebrows, Wade leaned in and whispered, "Say it again."

The devil was back on her shoulder. She leaned closer and lowered her voice. "Flame thrower."

Wade grinned, then turned and hit the play button again so he could finish serenading her with Bob Dylan.