xp_logs | Angelo, Marie, and Samson, last Wednesday

Samson played by Frito, who rocks.

Angelo headed down to Marie's room to collect her, as they'd arranged. He was a little early, but he didn't figure it mattered much - if she was out, he could just wait for her to come back. He knew she'd not miss their appointment.

Marie came up from the Danger Room, shaking her hair out of its braids. She had just enough time to... Angelo was early. She saw him standing in front of her door. "Hey, Skin," she said brightly as she approached.

Angelo, just about to knock, spun quickly to face her, with a slight smile. "Hey, Em."

Marie was wearing a black hoodie with blue Xs on the shoulders and matching black pants and sneakers. She pulled a key from her pocket and opened the door. There were some boxes stacked up against one wall and the furniture was in a state of disarray. "Come on in, honey," she said, holding the door open.

Angelo followed her in, glancing around the room as he did so. Perching on the nearest chair, he asked, "Good work-out?"

"Very. Piotr's really coming along." Marie made straight for the kitchen and grabbed a tin out of the fridge. She shook it, popped the tab, then drank, making a face. "You doing okay?"

He shrugged. "Well as ever. Pretty much back to the holdin' pattern now, I think."

"You eat?" Marie waggled the tin, a meal replacement shake by the label, at him. "Or are you better not to until after the appointment?"

He glanced at the tin. "Haven't had breakfast yet, no. Those things good, then?"

"Horrible," she said wryly. "Want one?"

Peering at the tin, he pulled a slight face and answered lightly, "Think I'll pass, then. Get some real food later."

"This way I'm not lying when Logan asks if I ate." She tossed the tin into the recycling from across the room, hitting the target neatly. "You about ready to go? I figure I can change later, before classes."

"Sure", he replied, getting to his feet again. "Thanks for this, by the way."

"No problem, really." Marie walked over and gave Angelo's arm a squeeze. "I know how much this matters."

He nodded. "Yeah. It does. I know I have to tell them, just... not sure how."

They began the walk down to Samson's office, Angelo clutching Marie's hand firmly in his nervousness. They soon arrived, and he knocked on the door.

Marie squeezed Angelo's hand gently. "You'll be fine," she murmured.

Angelo nodded, glancing at her briefly. "I know. Thanks."

"Just a moment." Dr. Samson answered, and indeed, a moment later, the door was opened by the large, for degrees of large equal to 'could have played professional football' doctor, in shirt-and-tie, his thick blond hair in a tight ponytail. "Angelo, come in. This is.. Miss D'ancanto, I believe?"

Angelo stepped into the room with a nod to the doctor. "Is it okay if Marie sits in this time?" he asked.

Marie smiled up at Dr. Samson. "I don't have to stay the whole time at all. I'm just here as long as Angelo needs me."

"I have no objection to you being here, if it helps Angelo." Samson tapped his notepad with a pen. "I should warn you that I take notes for my own benefit. They are, of course, confidential."

"Not a problem." Marie sat down on the couch, still holding Angelo's hand lightly, letting him decide where he wanted to be. "I spent most of the fall doing three therapy sessions a week, I know the drill. It's nice to meet you."

Angelo joined her on the couch, not willing to let go of her hand just yet.

Marie put her arm around Angelo's shoulders and gave him a little hug. "We'll get this sorted, Skin," she said softly. "Don't worry."

Angelo turned to look at her with a slight nod. "Thank you."

Samson brought his chair - the office's chair, in truth, that he had come to think of as his own - to the front of the desk, and sat. "I would like to begin with updating my notes from our previous session. How have you been sleeping, Angelo?"

Angelo glanced down. "Not so good", he admitted quietly. "Same as last time, pretty much."

Marie, who looked like she didn't sleep much herself, rubbed Angelo's back gently with one hand, looking sympathetic.

"The nightmares, still?" Samson checked his notes with a glance. "That is not entirely unexpected. Healing, of all kinds, takes time." He jotted a very quick note on the pad, and looked up at Angelo. "Charles, as well as Henry and Madelyn, and Moira in their capacities, keep me updated on events that may affect all of you, but I always prefer to hear from my patients as well." The question was left unsaid, but obvious.

Angelo sighed. "Yeah. Had a... setback", he admitted quietly.

Samson simply nodded, waiting to see if the young man would continue.

Angelo sighed, his hand tightening on Marie's, and spoke without raising his head. "We were out in town the other night, an' we got jumped. I had another... episode... an' Marie had to... use her power."

Marie looked over at Samson. "I don't know if you know... I can take another mutant's abilities away from them. It's not good for them, it can kill if I'm not careful, and I also get a headful of them, to one degree or another. What happened was totally understandable. I'm just sorry Angelo feels badly about it."

Angelo looked up, finally, and told the doctor softly, "She had to do it to get us away. I was fightin' her too hard..."

"So, if I understand you correctly, you have Angelo's .. thoughts, along with your own, at least in part?" Samson leaned back in his chair. "I can see how that would change things considerably."

Marie nodded. "I have mostly what was in the forefront of his mind at the time, his trauma and flashback. In addition to that, I tend to get a very heavy dose of what people are repressing, I guess because it's got to be on your mind in order for you to try repressing it. Because it was such a stressful situation, I have a lot more of him than I'd have if we'd, say, been sitting here like now. I can completely understand why he's not sleeping."

Samson nodded. "I believe anyone could understand it. Nightmares and insomnia are very typical reactions to trauma." He looked towards Angelo. "We discussed previously, you keeping a dream journal. Have you had the chance to start it?"

Angelo nodded. "Done a few entries, yeah."

"Have you noticed a change in the dreams at all, or do they remain the same?" Samson's pen darted over the paper, noting a reminder to talk to Moira.

"Pretty much the same", Angelo answered. "The fire ones, mostly."

"And they are still your chief concern?" Samson glanced once to the bruises on Angelo's face, and then to Marie. "We can focus on any other issues you would like to discuss, Angelo."

Angelo glanced over at Marie, and seemed about to speak but then closed his mouth again, head bowed and fingers tight around hers.

"Honey, it's okay," Marie said soothingly. "I think he wants me to tell you things," she told Samson. "See... I have this very strict confidentiality clause myself. And I don't know if it's good for him for me to tell you. But he's hurting and I don't want to let him down, you see?"

"I must admit I've never had to deal with a situation quite like this. In this case, if both of you agree, I suspect it would be better if you told me." Samson waited, pen ready to continue taking notes. "It is ultimatly Angelo's decision, however."

Angelo nodded silently to Marie, giving her permission once again.

Marie took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Angelo's the first to... to either survive or to want to talk about it," she said honestly. "So this is new for me." She looked over at Angelo affectionately. "I think the worst of it is that he doesn't talk about the things he's done. Where do you want to start, Skin? Your friend when you were fourteen? What you had to do on the streets? The things you did before you manifested? I don't know where to start, what you want me to say. I have it all. And you can start telling your own story any time you want to interrupt. It's really okay."

Angelo nodded. "Could... could you start, an' I'll break in when I can?"

"I think a lot of it comes from when you had to kill your friend," Marie said quietly. Her expression was neutral as she looked at Angelo, addressing him. "Like you think everything since then, you deserve. And you don't trust yourself anymore." She turned to Samson. "When he was fourteen, you see, he and a friend got caught by another gang and they said they'd let him go if he shot his friend. Or they'd kill him instead. So... he's still here. And he's never been able to forgive himself for that. He's convinced he's a terrible person now and he doesn't understand... that I can see him then, and know how he felt. He was just a kid and he was scared. It's not about the kind of man he is now. But I understand how hard it must be to forgive himself." She ran a hand over Angelo's hair. "I can forgive him, though. And maybe other people can. And it's a start."

Angelo looked up at her gratefully, but still maintained his silence, unsure of what he should say.

"You need to say it when you can. You need to tell your story, Skin," Marie said gently. "Like you did to me even before I knew it all. I think it's so hard for you to get over the betrayal and the trauma because somewhere, you're so sure it was right, that that's how the world should treat you. And no wonder you're so scared."

Angelo swallowed and managed in a near-whisper, "If it's wrong, then why's that the way it's always been?"

While Marie spoke, Samson took notes, mentally searching for a similar scenario to compare this too. His time working for Charles was certainly turning into an exploration of frontier psychology. Once she had finished. Samson looked down at his notes one last time. "If both of you do not object, I am going to save these notes for a later session, until Angelo is ready to talk about it. "

Angelo nodded. "Fine by me."

"I hardly know where to start in it all, Skin," Marie admitted. "You were an anti-mutant gang member, and you did all kinds of awful, shitty, criminal things then. Do you want them detailed? Because I think what matters more is... your guilt. I think you need to work on making amends to you and to the people you hurt so you can get past that. And I"m sure you told Dr. Samson about your manifesting?" She looked up at the doctor questioningly.

Angelo flinched at her honest words, but didn't try to deny any of it. "Makin' amends? I'd like to, but... if I go back, I'm dead. An' it's not possible in some cases, anyway..."

"I meant in general. There are ways, Angelo. And you have to find a path out of this."

"He did, though if he had not, I would certainly ask." Samson rested his pen on the notepad. "I must agree with Marie. Making amends could go a long way towards soothing your own guilt."

Angelo nodded quietly. "I just don't know how..."

"Having an answer immediatly is not necessary. Between now and our next session, perhaps you could think on it, or talk it over with trusted friends?" Samson barely glanced at Marie after saying this. "I do not believe anyone expects you to find your answer easily, Angelo. That you are still willing to look, even after your setback, is admirable."