X-Men Mission: Roller Derby Queen

[x-dominion.livejournal.com]

The strange requests continue with a phone call to Muir.



“You’re sure you can’t? I promise to hide all those photos I found.” That drew a laugh and a final no. Garrison shook his head. “I understand. Look, you take care of yourself. Is Guthrie floating around? Yeah? Get, yeah, transfer me over.”

Well, this was something that Kane had never expected to do as a police officer. Chase criminals? Sure. Work undercover? All part of the job. Risk getting hurt or killed in the line of duty? Hey, protect and serve, man. Organize an all-female mutant roller derby team on short notice that could credibly reach the finals inside of a week? That one they didn’t cover at the Academy.

Still, he thought he’d had a stroke of luck when Jean had mentioned Alison and his research had turned up an old poster archived on-line of a New York Roller Derby league from the late Ninties, with a team named the SoHo Disco Dolls and a picture of a woman in a silver unitard and a disco ball necklace who could not be anyone other than Alison Blaire. A check call to Muir confirmed that, yes, Alison Blaire had been Alisyn Chained, the sharp elbowed pivot for the three time league champions. She had turned down his offer to coach for health reasons, but mentioned that she did still have a number of her old playbooks on file and he was free to use them. It was a start.

“Hey Kentucky. How’s Scotland treating you?”

There was a bit of crashing in the background, and a distinctively male yelp, followed by cursing, before Paige finally managed to get the phone to her ear, laughing. She even managed to half cover the reciever before yelling to someone that if you stroked his wings he generally would stop fighting. "Oh, you know," the tiny scientist replied, with a low sigh that distinctively sounded like collapsing into a chair. "It's cold, they eat things that should never be eaten, but I get to see the boys and talk with Moira until the wee hours, so it could be worse."

The background noise dampened suddenly; a door must have been closed, knowing Paige, kicked so with her foot. "And you? I haven't got too many damage reports, I'm not sure if I like how well you've moved on without me."

"Well, we haven't broken the Danger Room yet. All of my fingers point back the right way. All in all, it's a banner month here in Westchester." Kane said with a laugh. "What's your schedule like for the next few weeks?"

"Prodding Jay, mostly. Don't get me wrong, I would have stabbed that man in the throat myself, but that Smith chap did have some remarkable work," she replied, offhandly, twirling a piece of hair around her finger. She paused. "Aaaand that was retarded levels of empathy going there, sorry Moosejaw. Uh, ignore me, segue to the part where you're trying to ask me something."

"Yeah, I need a favour. Alison says she's got a couple of notebooks in her files over there somewhere. They contain plays and notes from her days as a Roller Derby Queen." Kane stopped. "Yeah, I know, I know. Even stranger is that we really need that information. Do you think you could dig them out and ship them over?"

"Wow. Dig through musty boxes for old notebooks, sounds like fun." Paige heard a giggle from outside and kicked the door a couple of times, shouting. "It's a good thing I like you, woman! And have plenty of spore masks on hand. Overnight or can it wait a couple of days?" she asked, at a more normal volume.

"The sooner the better. If I can't turn up someone who can teach the other X-Men, or knows how to roller skate old-school, we're going to need every minute we can dig up." Garrison paused on the other end of the line. Well, she was from the South. "Don't suppose you know anyone who's gotten violent on the skates before?"

There was a laugh on the other end as Paige leaned back in her chair. "Violent? I mean, there were sometimes brawls outside the roller rink growing up, but that's about as close as I've ever been to those two together, myself. Didn't want to get kicked out, where else would I go on a Friday night?"

"Wait, run that one by me again. You did what on a Friday night?"

"It was a town in the middle no where that had A/C. Most summers I'd get my chores done in the morning so I could go right after school." Paige took his moment of silence as mocking and jumped in again. "Don't judge, it was the southern version of teen beaver skinning or whatever you did for fun."

"When I was a teen, beaver was- you know what, I'm not even going to make the joke. Let's go back to you spending tons of time down at the roller rink. You're not talking about just hanging out and eating bad fries and looking at boys, right? Like, actually roller skating around to some sort of post-apocalyptic country boogie or whatever the hell you people listen to down there."

"That's because when you were a teen you were making out in the back of a buggy, chickpea. Because you're old. Yes, I roller skated."

"Old? You are, like, four years younger than me! I'm not old. Just because I should have grandkids based on your twisted Kentucky social order does not make me old." Kane huffed into the phone. "Stop changing the subject. You roller skated. I need roller skaters. Girls that can get punched a lot and I'll enjoy it. Right now, you fit that bill!"

"Really?" Paige asked, still failing at not laughing at her partner in Danger Room crime. "I guess it's just because you're all wrinkly and I'm this hot young thing that I keep forgeting. Admit it, you totally miss me. Even though that while I'm fully aware that the Canadian force pays for crap, I guessed since you insist on riding horses to save on gas, I am not getting involved in your kinky sounding porn get rich scheme. No."

"It isn't a get rich scheme. The Bureau cracked a biker gang two days ago on a huge sting. Along with the usual group of beauty pagnant winners and charm school drop-outs, we ended up picking up a group of female mutants with them. Turns out, they're a roller derby club the gang fronts for this underground, no-holds barred mutant roller derby league. It's nasty stuff - half the girls are there on threats of violence or strung out on kick, crank or oxy-contin." Kane said, outlining the situation quickly. "They say there's been deaths on the track, and there's a lot of betting and prestigue in the underworld for having a top team. There's a big set of finals taking place that is going to be used as a neutral ground for a huge re-organization and agreement on Kick supply and dealing in the US. The Bureau wants to take them, but we need to get people inside first to identify just who's involved so they know who to target when they go in."

Paige frowned, the expression easily conveyed over the phone in her voice. "I think I liked the sex video better." She sighed. "Well, I've gone in as a callgirl, I suppose roller derby isn't that much of a stretch compared. So long as you don't get to pick my name. Would you get the flights sorted out and sent to my phone while I hunt down this book and pack?"

"Yeah, I can do that." Garrison paused for a moment. "Mind you, if you want to add in the whole sex video idea, I'm sure I could find a way to make time for it, eh."

"Just because I'm a lady don't think I won't kick your ass, mister," Paige retorted, putting on her drawl. "I am happily off the market."

"I had forgotton that generally takes place around 14 where you're from."

"Just because you're sore about missing your chance doesn't mean you have to be rude," Paige scolded. "Besides, I was a rebel and waited until sixteen."