X-Men Mission: Roller Derby Queen

[x-dominion.livejournal.com]

Cue the training montage.



It wasn’t his best Danger Room design by far, but it would do. Garrison stood looking around in the middle of the banked track he’s simulated through the room, complete with a roaring crowd to best mimic the environment they’d be competing in. To be honest, it made him want a beer in a plastic cup. Bobby was flipping through his notes on the bench, and as the door opened, Kane stepped out of the ring and over to the portable control station he’d setup in the corner. On the track, it was Bobby’s show, not his.

Bobby was still swearing at himself slightly. As he flipped through the pages of the old playbook, he knew that he would have to thank his old friend some day for letting his secret past slip. But as of now, he knew that he was doing this for a good cause. And as long as he didn't have to put on the sparkly outfit... again... he would get through this. A small smile perked up on his face as he looked up and noticed the girls in front f him. "Alright girls, before we start, I wanna get a base line for all of you...." He took a deep breath in. "Can any of you tell me any roller derby position." It was a test, and he hoped he would get at least some response.

Angel really couldn't believe this was an official, sanctioned X-Men mission. She felt like they were a) going to school and b) being kind of silly. Then again, she'd have something to hold over Bobby's head for the rest of their natural lives, so she figured that had to be in the plus category. She wriggled her feet in her rollerblades - she actually owned several pairs, which had come in handy for those who hadn't had any - and glanced around before sighing. "There's the jam sandwich?" she said, remembering what she'd been going over. "And now I want a sandwich ..."

"I feel like there should be heavy amounts of innuendo here," Tabitha commented.

This might be a bit harder than I thought... Bobby let out a small sigh for a second before doing his best to put a good face back on. "Maybe I started a bit too complex. Can anyone at least tell me how someone scores a point in roller derby?" Yvette looked around hesitantly and slowly raised her hand. "The jammer needs to get past the other team's blockers and cross the line?" she suggested. As she did for all missions when there was time, Yvette had done some research, aware her background in Eastern Europe impeded her knowledge of many pop culture references. Her roller skates had been fitted with an insert by Hank to cater for her unusual foot structure, but she could feel something happening inside. Almost like her feet were adjusting to the skate.

Bobby couldn't help but grin. "Very Nice Yvette." But he couldn't help but look around the rest of the girls in the circle. "Now how many of you have absolutely no idea what she just said?"

Jean preferred to learn hands on rather than have information told to her, but she knew what Bobby was trying to do. When they were training for missions, learn how to skate and elbow people had never really come up before. It was going to be a serious learning curve, and she felt like she was a student again. She smiled.

"We'll get it. Eventually. We have a good teacher," she said, her smile widening a bit at that with a tinge of amusement. The whole idea of the mission seemed to tickle her. She was in a good mood despite the underlying problems with the drugs and violence. "Do you have any ideas on who should be what position?"

"I think I'm a blocker? Or something?" Monet asked. "I really have no idea. I watched the video but, you know..." She was already wobbling slightly on her rollerskates.

Drake cocked his jaw out to the side. At least one person knew a few things. "Alright, maybe I'm starting a bit too... complex. Let's just see how well you all can skate." Moving towards the starting line of the simulated track, Bobby turned back towards his team. "Can I get all of you to give me one lap?"

Jan could try to do that, but she wasn't about to make any promises. She hadn't been on roller skates in years, having gone to roller skating parties as a kid but not having had any interest in being on skates after she had wings. Was roller skating supposed to be one of those things that was like riding a bike? Except there was a big difference between then and now, plus this set up wasn't like any roller rink she'd ever been to. But hey, she'd give it a go. Using her wings to try to aid her balance, Jan started moving down the track.

"How hard can it be?" Yvette said, possibly more to herself than anyone else. "After all, little girls roller skate, yes?" With wobbling little half-steps, she started around the track, arms outstretched for balance . "See? The piece of cake!" she crowed, before her foot shot out in front of her and she landed soundly on her butt. "Or, maybe not," she admitted.

Skating over, Paige came to a slow stop, offering the younger girl a hand up. It had been admittedly difficult remaining quiet, but she was getting better at not being a complete know-it-all. Besides, it was only skating that she had some amount experience in - forward, backward, stop - and on a flat surface; there had been no banks.

"Come on, chickpea. I'll get you going," she said, widening her stance as Yvette used her for leverage up, before crossing over to now face the opposite direction. She held both of Yvette's hands in her own, on the bottom, as she made a few brave forward motions.

Angel, who had popped up the moment Yvette had fallen, came skating over to their side and kept pace with them both as they moved slowly forward. "You can do it," she said cheerfully. "At first, it's all about balance. Your sense of balance is pretty good, Yvette, on solid ground - just try and have it translate now."

Bobby's face had gone white as he began to look around the room at the girls slowly skating around, those that weren't already upended that was. He found himself muttering. "How am I supposed to explain to them what a pivot is when most of them can't even turn around without taking out half of our team with them...." He couldn't help but turn to Garrison for a quick second, hoping the fear only showed to him and not the girls. "Are you sure this isn't going to end up with me in a wig and spandex?"

"The best way to make sure that doesn't happen is making them good enough to handle this." Kane said, reminding himself that as ludicrous as the scene looked, they would be heading into something that could be potentially lethal. It was enough to kill any quick smile. "I'm working on making some opponents right now. You get them skating, champ."

"Oh lordy..." Was all Bobby could manage. He was going to have to get on this quick. He slowly sauntered over to Jean, hoping that she could provide him some stability. "Hey Jean, do you think that there's a chance you could focus long enough to keep one of these girls on their feet with your TK and not totally wipe out?" A plan was starting to formulate.

Jean studied the other women, then nodded. "Probably. How long? The whole session?" She wasn't sure where he was headed with it but she was willing to go along with it to see what he was trying to do. They weren't doing too well thus far.

"I just need you to hold Yvette upright for one revolution of the track." Quickly Bobby began flailing his arms around. "Alright everybody, I've got a plan." It was a scary thought, but he wasn't going to leave these girls out there for the slaughter. Placing the notebook that had become his Bible over the past few days on the floor, he began motioning as wildly as he could with his hands to illustrate his points.

"Ok, we're going to try a play called Flying Bellow the Radar. My little red researcher." He pointed towards Yvette. "...you're going to be my jammer." He smiled for a second. "The rest of you are my blockers, but instead of a traditional whip, I'm going to have you Jean..." He nodded towards her. "...use your TK to send Yevette along." He got down on one knee in front of his newly crowned jammer. "Now Yvette, all I need you to do is squat down, and have Jean keep you from falling on your tail. If everything goes according to my plan, their blockers won't even see you, and you'll score more points than Wayne Gretzky in a little league hockey game." He smiled for a second at her before he stood up again, looking at the rest of his team. "The rest of you, it's your job right now to make sure that one... no one on their team gets by you, and two... no one bumps Jean and she turns Yvette into a Flying Wallenda."

He clapped his hands for a second. "Ok. Everybody ready?"

Monet raised a hand, wobbling slightly. "Honey, I have absolutely no idea what you just said. I mean, there were words and theoretically, they were all English words but, no, not in that order they weren't." Her eyes widened as her balance shifted and her left foot began to side and she waved her arms madly, trying to compensate as she began to fall. It was a fairly spectacular faceplant. "Why can't we just go beat people up till the problem's solved? We'd probably come home with less injuries. And our pride intact," she muttered.

Bobby obviously was not where he wanted to be. Scratching the back of his head for a few seconds he looked up. "That can be arranged Monet. During this round, your entire job is to make sure that no one, other than Yvette gets by you." He shifted his gaze. "Jean, it's up to you to keep the little one upright. And Yvette, just hold onto your knees and hope not to tip over." He pointed his eyebrows. "Everyone else, make sure no one gets close to Jean." He put on a half smirk. "Can we try that one?"

Yvette nodded. Bending her knees put her centre of gravity closer to the ground and her body tended to prefer crouching as its default comfortable state. "I am ready!" she called out to Jean, glad she wasn't going to be trying to get past Monet this time around - the invulnerable powerhouse hit hard.

Jean gave Yvette and Bobby a nod as she looked toward the younger woman. As Yvette rolled forward, Jean kept her eyes on her. Whenever she began sway in the slightest in any way, left, right, back, front, Jean righted her back into proper harmony. Now it was up to Yvette to get through to finish her "mission."

She'd heard the sport sometimes confused with demolition derby, and sometimes that was the case.

There was a stupid grin on Tabitha's face. While she couldn't skate backward to save her life, she was actually rather good at skating forward. She started forward, several feet behind Yvette. She was really not sure what to expect, but it looked like fun in the movies.

"So, step one's been completed! We're starting to not fall down on our asses!" Angel said, only looking partially worried as she skated between the others, giving advice on how move your feet and where to put your hands when needed. "Step two is, what, how to smash the bad guys faces into the race track?"

"Apparently the line between civilization and anarchy is spelled out by roller derby." Kane said, more to himself as he worked at the console.

Bobby couldn't help but whisper to himself. "We might just pull this off after all." A small smile began to creep slowly over his face.