X-Men Mission: Roller Derby Queen

[x-dominion.livejournal.com]

The X-Men come out for their first real match.



“Welcome to Roller Derby!” Tiboldt stepped out to a loud cheer from the crowd of bikers and hanger-ons. Around the track, both teams were warming up, starting to take turns and loosen up. They also sized each other up, noting powers and abilities where they could. “Tonight! Tonight only, you will see a titanic match-up as East meets West again! Our cold war is about to get hot-hot-hot as the East Coast champion Long Harm of the Law from New York City meet Las Vegas’ own Groovin’ile Dolliquents!”

There was another cheer, and he pranced around the centre of the track, with a fake ring master’s red jacket on over his jeans and t-shirt. “That’s right! It is pulse pounding, leg grinding, groin banging roller derby at its best. But there are rules, folks! In this no-holds barred mutant match up, the entire normal roller derby rules apply. In addition, all contact on the track has to be physical contact. So no mind blasts, assuming your opponent has one. No energy blasts, or what my doctor calls harmless emanations or anything like that. Skates must stay on the track, ladies. Anyone flying had better be on their way to hitting the asphalt or sharing their drugs. That simple enough for all you apes out there!”

There was a nudge to Bobby, and he waved his team forward. “On the East, the lovely ladies who are looking to bankrupt the house in Vegas. It is the Long Harm of the Law! Their captain, Cherry Bomb! Behind her magnificent behind, Southern Hell! Dee Stroyer! Judy Boom! Half-Pint Havoc! Bitchrella! Tinkerhell! Facing them, looking to take a big bite out of the Big Apple are the Groovin’ile Dolliquents! Led by Dirty Ann Rotten, here comes the hand knuckle team of Illegally Blonde! Oliver Junk! Jersey Sore! Tragedy Ann! Sissy B Demented!”

There was another tremendous cheer as the two teams sent out their initial skaters to their spots on the line. “Yes, you’ve waited for Super Bowl! You’ve waited for the World Series! But this is something you can’t wait for any longer. Girls, let’s get it on, ooh baby! This is roller derby!” A gun went off and all of the skaters took off, digging for position on the curve as Tiboldt hyperbolic chatter chased them out of the starting line.

"As the pack comes around the curve, Dirty Ann Rotten has set up along the inside track, with Illegally Blonde and Oliver Junk linking up in a wall!" Tiboldt's commentary blared amplified over the cheers and the shouts of the crowd. "Here comes Tinkerhell, but there is no room to get through the Pack! And out comes Dirty Ann Rotten with a can opener block - and she misses! She digs for the back of the wall as Illegally Blonde moves up! This ain't the Hurt Locker, folks - the Groovinile Dolliquents have closed slammed closed the top of a Killbox on the Long Harm of the Law!"

Jan approached the group, her wings pressed to her back. She planned on trying to use them at some point, but for the moment, they would just get in the way if they were spread out. It was too bad she couldn't just shrink to get past the pack. Somebody would really have to be looking to see a tiny woman on the track.

Jean eyed the wall of women before looking back to Monet and Jan. Their list of options seemed to be fairly small to be able to get Jan through without many more bumps and bruises. The crowd was almost deafening, but by now she was used to the equivalent in her head.

Monet nodded, sending ~We'll do a booty block? Jan can get through in our wake.~ What they lacked in training, they made up for in years of learning to work together. She set off, using her flight to balance herself as she hipchecked a girl with blue hair and spread out, arse sticking out to slow the girl as much as possible.

Jean came up from behind Monet, quickly gaining speed before she bent backwards in an almost half-handstand, Matrix style, to avoid being punched in the face by a girl with more metal in her face than scrap yard. Using her TK to keep herself from falling backwards, she soon righted herself, delighting the crowd as they returned her move with a billowing roar.

~Jan, get ready to come through us on Monet's signal.~ Luckily for Monet being invulnerable, eating floor wasn't too much of a problem.

~Got it.~ Jan thought back at the telepaths, immediately returning her concentration to the scene around her. As she was the jammer, her opponents were going to have their eyes on her, trying to keep her from moving ahead and scoring points. Well, let them try. Her team had a plan!

Dirty Ann Rotten jostled in the pack, keeping the middle anchor of the wall moving as Oliver Junk set up for another check, this one certain to flatten Jan and open up the scoring. The three blockers moved in unison, keeping pace with the wall, and only interrupted by Monet's blocking in the middle.

"Bitcherella is trying to break up that wall but they are keeping up the speed, moving the Killbox up and around Tinkerhell's neck. Illegally Blonde drops inside from Cherry Bomb and is coming up the pack! Oh Doctor! The Groovin'ile Dolliquents are making a move with only Bitcherella between them and their Law Harm of the Law's jammer!"

Monet ducked to one side and employed her elbows, jamming one into the opposing player's ribs. That was all it took for her to fall off balance, skidding to the outside of the track and taking out Dirty Ann Rotten with her. She scrambled back onto her feet, hurrying to catch up with the pack.

After seeing Monet fall, Jean kept close to the pack of women and Jan. There was one down but still some to go and they weren't exactly going to let up on her. With Oliver Junk in her field of vision, Jean took off after her and, with a burst of speed, rushed her and slammed into her like a linebacker.

The other woman's personal forcefield kicked in but the force and speed of the blow still knocked her out of the running. As the woman fell she resembled a sort of hamster in a ball, appearing almost weightless.

Jean, meanwhile, was also forced to obey the laws of physics and slid across the track, nearly falling to the ground herself but managing to only keep herself up right again thanks to her TK.

Monet gave up on skating, concentrating simply on flying while keeping the wheels of her skates more or less on the ground until she was within a body length of the other side's jammer. At that point, she simply allowed herself to fall forward, hitting the other woman's legs. ~Jan! Go!~

And there it was, the opening she'd been waiting for! Moving quickly, Jan skated through the hole Jean and Monet had made just for her. The first points were theirs!

"As Tinkerhell comes through the pack and scores! The Long Harm of the Law takes the lead over the Groovin'ile Dolliquents early in the match!"



"Sissy B. Demented jukes inside, slipping Judy Boom and hiding to clear the pack!"

The feral had cut past Tabitha with a slick stop that left the other woman almost tangled in her own legs trying to follow. She streaked down the ramp, looking to cut between the remaining blockers and clear out of the pack for four points.

Yvette narrowed her eyes and went low, aiming herself at the feral's knees. Once she'd worked out her balance, she'd proven to be fast and sneaky, zipping around her teammates and tackling opposition from behind. She caught Paige's eye, raising her eyebrow. High ground and low ground, just like they'd practiced.

It was easy enough for Paige to cross over, right over left, and make what could only be described as a wide u-turn; skating quickly ahead then curving back, looking for all intents and purposes as if she was going to fly right past Sissy, with Yvette on her tail.

Well, at least until her arm came out, effectively clotheslining her in the throat and sending her over Yvette, who was as close to as making like a table behind Sissy as you could in a pair of skates.

"Oh cut! Cut! Sissy B. Demented just got her closeup with Southern Helle's forearm!"



"And the jammers are approaching the Pack, with Sissy B. Demented trailing Tinkerhell around the curve. Oliver Junk and Tragedy Ann are set up inside, while Illegally Blonde and Jersey Sore hit with Cherry Bomb and Dee Stroyer for position at the front of the Pack. Tinkerhell is around the rear blockers and moving up the outside while Sissy B. Demented can't seem to get going into the Pack!" Tiboldt's call was met with a roar from Dolliquent fans.

With a grunt, Angel ducked her head and slammed her elbow into the woman next to her, angling to get a little bit more space. It was easier to stop thinking when you were in the middle of all of it, to just go with the flow. It made realizing that you just smashed someone into a wall with a hip check, going god knows how fast, a little easier to take.

Jean darted out of the way of Illegally Blonde's outspread hands as she attempted to keep an eye on Sissy B. Demented. They had to stay close to keep her from getting by, but also help out Jan to get a leg up. She tried to catch Angel's eye as she picked up speed.

"Here comes Tragedy Ann and Oliver Junk, digging for the middle of the pack with Tinkerhell! Bring the peanut butter, because I think we're about to see a big, sloppy jam sandwich!"

As if on cue, Oliver Junk and Tragedy Ann closed, smashing Jan in between their bodies. The hit wasn't well coordinated, more bouncing the smaller girl between them, but now Jan was tied up with both blockers near the rear of the pack, and fighting to get clear. With their jammer occupied, Jersey Sore was able to shift from the inside, and the super-strong woman came flanking Jean, ready to knock her clear of the track itself, and perhaps take her out of competition for good.

Jean sensed the woman coming upon her and lay in wait, pretending to be oblivious up until the last moment when she lashed out and grabbed the woman's arm, then her hair for a better grip with her other hand. Using the woman's own momentum, along with a telekinetic oomph, Jean whipped her around like they were doing the do-see-do, flinging her up the inside track .

"You know, guys, I can skate on my own, but thanks for trying to help," Jan quipped at her opponents as she used her wings to hit the two women invading her personal space. "You smash me, I smash you... fair's fair." Due to how fragile her wings looked, most people didn't tend to take them seriously until they were able to experience firsthand just how not fragile Jan's gossamar-looking wings were.

Angel had been trying to move through the crowd of fast moving women when she'd spotted Jan trapped to the point where she'd need help from her and Jean. There were a number of people trying to make sure she couldn't get anywhere near her teammate and, suddenly, folks were starting to get closer to Angel, looking to trap her, too ...

When she went up in a brief, brilliant flare of blue. The two women near her shrieked - the hair that appeared under the helmet of one bursting into flames - and scattered. Not only did it give her the room to move again but Angel's flare also worked as a rocket boost, giving her a lot more speed.

"Dee Stroyer is on FIRE! The little ginger is now cutting a flaming path on the track as she tries to clear Tinkerhell. But here comes Oliver Junk!"

The Dolliquent had peeled off of Jan for a moment, and suddenly juked in reverse, coming down the incline intersecting with Angel. The X-Man had no time to react as the force-fielded mutant slammed into her with her shoulder low. The impact smashed into her ribs and hip, and she was flung against the barriers, flattened by the hit and winded at the impact as she crashed to the track and Oliver Junk dug back into her position.

"Junk has just destroyed Dee Stroyer! Her grandparents felt that hit as Oliver Junk takes her into the boards with a classic shoulder check! Someone check her for a Canadian passport, because that hit came right out of the NHL!"

Hearing the hit, Jean looked over her shoulder. Her eyes widened. ~ Angel, are you okay?~

She looked back ahead, knowing she needed to keep her eyes on the track. Getting distracted wouldn't help her own odds much.

Angel was trying to rise to her feet but her brain had gone all wonky. ~'s just fine,~, she managed, getting her arms under her to push herself to a semi-crouch. ~Worry about Jan.~ She'd be standing by the time the pack of hyenas - rollerskaters made it back to her.

"You guys really don't get the concept of personal space, do you?" Jan began to move from side to side as much as she could, throwing her body and wings against those closest to her.

"Jersey Sore and Illegally Blonde are dropping back on the outside and here comes Tragedy Ann past Dee Stroyer! Tinkerhell is in the bughouse, trapped in a Dolliquent Diamond!"

The skater formation closed on Jan, as three of them crashed in to smash her between their bodies. Behind them, their jammer slid into the inside lane and bolted for the lead, crossing the pack as they tried to clear out their trapped teammate.

Jean took off after the Dolliquents, rapidly rearing upon them. She slammed her elbow into the face the "point" of the diamond from behind, then her ribs, knowing just the right point to put pressure on to knock the wind out of a person.

She quickly skated backwards as the woman dropped to the ground in a tumble, then went after another one.

As Jean went past in a blur of red hair and elbows, a blue fireball skittered across the track behind her, causing a player to lose their footing as they attempted to get around it. Angel was just now regaining her feet but just because she wasn't moving well didn't mean she couldn't interfere with the other players. Pushing off the wall, she wiped blood off her nose and waited until the group came 'round again. She'd never catch up to them at this point but all she had to do was wait.

Jan's fingers touched two of the Dolliquents and she treated them to a low dose of electricity, not enough to drop them to the floor, but enough to get the point across and hopefully give her a moment or two to free herself from the trap.

The Dolliquents jerked away at her touch, and one stumbled, going down forward and right into Jan's legs, knocking her down with the both of them.

Having lost her footing, Jan crashed down on the track, her leg twisting in the fall as a Dolliquent landed on top of her. She felt pain but tried not to let it show. "Sorry, not my type," she gasped out at the other girl. Jan tried to get up, then realized that was a mistake. Shit. She hoped her leg wasn't broken. Been there, done that, and it took just about forever to heal, and there had to be a no shrinking rule while she healed. Jan hated no shrinking rules.



Jean resisted the urge to go after Jan when she sensed the burst of pain and momentary panic rush through Jan's mind. Over time, she had learned to be able to do a rough body/mind mental diagnosis from how the mind registered the injury. Unfortunately her teammates had run the gamut of injuries, ranging from moderate to severe, so she had a vague idea of how bad the injury was, at least enough to tell it wasn't life threatening. Had it been, she would've stopped what she was doing to tend to her. But for now, the quicker the match ended, the quicker she'd be able to help.

Being the only one still in the running with the pack, she used Jan's spill as a distraction, coming up the rear to grab the other jammer, Sissy B. Demented, by the arm from behind and spin her around for a few turns before flinging her up the inside track with the aim to score.

Despite still being winded, and partly on the other side of the track, Angel reacted at the same time the crowds did to Jan's fall. She burned hot enough to almost damage her skates, sending herself bouncing out from where she'd been trying to figure out her next move in a blast of energy. Using her forcefield to her advantage, she pretty much flew down the corner of the track, determined to reach Jan before anyone decided that it was best thing to do was kick the young woman in the head to make sure she was down for the count.

There was a whistle as the squads changed over, and the X-Men came off the tracking to crowd around Bobby.

Bobby fell down to one knee allowing the rest of his team to crowd around him. "Well no one's dead yet, so that's a move in the right direction." He began scratching his chin as he looked at the faces around him. "But if we're going to score any points, we're gonna need to do something a little... different." He turned his eyes to Angel. "You ready to bust a few heads?"

"I'm always ready to bust some heads," came the quick reply as Angel finished tightening her gloves. "You got a plan, boss?"

Bobby smiled. "Well alright then." His smile grew again as he looked up and found Yvette. "You know how Angel's been whipping you forward all day? Well, we're going to play a little trick on them if you're ready."

Yvette gave a grim smile. "More than ready," she replied. "I am tired of these girls bumping me off the track."

"Alright then when Angel tries to whip you around Yvette, what I need you to do is to whip her back around and have her take out the blockers in front of you. If everything goes right, that should set her up for an easy score if one of the other blockers can just whip her forward past the downed members." Bobby looked up at his team.

"Bowling for babes?" Tabs laughed. "I can get behind that."

Bobby couldn't help but grin. Well everybody. I think we've got a plan. Everybody in?" He moved his hand forward into the group of girls.

Paige laughed, settling her own hand over his. “Go team, indeed.”



"This spells trouble with a capital 'TRA' for the Long Harm of the Law! The Dolliquents have Dirty Ann Rotten, Illegally Blonde, Jersey Sore, and Tragedy Ann set in an inside wall, up by three points with less than a minute to go! Between Dirty Ann's spikes and Tragedy Ann's personal bug zapper, they don't stand a chance of breaking through that wall from behind!"

Even with all the practice they'd been doing, nothing could have really prepared Angel for their first time on the rink. After all, it was one thing to practice in the Danger Room and another to rocketing around the arena with women who really wanted to smash your face into the nearest hard surface. Angel gritted her teeth as she took a tight corner. Well, that was fine. She could do her fair share of face smashing if she had to.

The noise was deafening, the contest exhilarating... If anyone had told Yvette she'd actually enjoy this, she would have laughed, but now she was here, there was something intoxicating about it all. She narrowed her eyes at the opposing team's wall - they had to get it down if they had any chance of winning. "Southern Hell!" she called to Paige. "What is the play?"

Pulling off an arm of damaged metal - tokens from Dirty Ann - to reveal an undamaged replacement beneath, Paige held up three fingers, grinning widely with a mouthful of razor shark teeth. "Three!" she yelled, catching Angel and Tabitha's attention, and Angel swiftly crossed over to where she had been moments before, wrists out for Yvette, as Paige sped forward.

Angel's sudden movement actually sent the person she'd elbowed tumbling head over heels as she upset her balance even more. "All yours!" she shouted, thrusting arms out towards Yvette and just letting her momentum guide her until her friend got there.

Digging her skates in, Yvette sped up and came alongside Angel, grabbing her wrists in her long hands. Her heavier weight gave her the advantage of inertia, and she slung her friend as hard as she could forward towards Paige. "One!" she called out.

Angling herself ever so slightly, Paige caught Angel before she could zip by, and u-turned. Pulling her ankles in, it was only too easy to keep going into a full circle.

Like a spinning kaleidoscope, Angel saw the opposition maneuvering into place to stop her charge. They were putting up the girls that would block her best, the ones that outweighed her or could withstand her heat powers. If things kept up, she was more than likely to find herself the bug on the windshield in that move.

Which was why she was glad Paige was about to become the windshield instead of Angel being the bug.

"Dee Stroyer is whipped up the track to Southern Hell, but the wall of the Groovin'ile Dolliquents is still firmly set in front of them! Illegally Blonde is shifting so she can intercept Dee Stroyer if Southern Hell doublewhips her past them!"

Tabs zipped up from her trailing position, overtook Yvette, and settled in parallel to Angel. She kept a low stance, ready to zip ahead when Paige made her move.

Closer, closer - at Paige's nod, Angel hit the brakes and twisted her hips sharply. That was a move that hurt and sent jolts of pain up and down her muscles but she didn't let go until Paige was at the perfect spot to take out the opposition ...

A rocket, gleaming metal and a wild grin, Paige gave the other girls a mocking wave. You could almost see the ridges of her skin, angles and joints, sharpening into multiple crystal points, right before she turned and crouched, taking out the wall of them at the knees. There was a clatter, screams and plastic hitting the wood floor, as they went down, and Paige raised her head just enough to watch Angel zip around to score.

She smiled.

“And the Long Harm of the Law’s Southern Hell destroys the Groovin’ile Dolliquents wall! Dee Stroyer picks up four points and wins! They have won the semi finals! Oh, someone call down to the junkyard, because we’ve got a scrapped team to send them, crushed under the wheels of the Law’s skates!”