xp_logs | Log: Jubilee and Doug

x-jubilee.livejournal.com posting in

Backdated log: June 8th 2011. Jubilee talks to Doug about the events of this log. She's not happy about how he handled things.

Jubilee's cubicle was messy in a functional sort of way, various folders covered most of her desk, with space left for a notepad and a computer which currently seemed to be running a search of some kind. Roller-blades had been dumped in a corner, along with a messenger bag laid haphazardly sprawled over them. On the walls were various cartoons, one particular one seeming to be entirely made of stick figures. Shelves along the wall above said cartoons held her ninja crochet projects at various stages of completion.

She looked up as she heard a knock on the divider that cordoned off her desk from the others, but didn't stop her from hearing everything going on around her.

Doug cocked his head and leaned against the opening in the cubicles' dividers. "I just got your email. What's up?" he asked, not sure what had inspired her choice of topic, or the ominous 'we need to talk'.

"So, I was doing a little crawling through duct work yesterday, just keeping up the skills, ya know?" Jubilee began, swiveling her chair around to face him, her eyes stony. "And I overheard a conversation or two, want to guess which one has me steamed at you right now?"

Doug's eyes went back and forth between hard, defensive, and a hint of nervous fear. It wasn't hard to put two and two together, given that she'd mentioned Marie-Ange in the email. The impulse to clam up and withdraw in the face of his ex-girlfriend and his -current- girlfriend apparently being mad at him was pretty strong. "I can guess," he managed quietly after a long moment.

"So, tell me the guy I'm in love with isn't a misogynistic asshole who feels judging a woman on her sexual mores is A-OK, Doug," Jubilee said, her gaze meeting his squarely as she leaned forward in her chair, aggression all over her body language. "Because I've had enough asshole boyfriends in my time, and I don't think I want one who's opinion of me may just be that I'm a giant slut."

The instinct to retreat was even stronger, given how aggressive Jubilee's body language was. And Doug knew, deep down, that he'd cut a very low blow at Marie-Ange. And on top of that, to have the very first time Jubilee used the word 'love' in reference to him be this clusterfuck of a situation? "I just...I don't..." he stammered, knowing that Jubilee probably wasn't too interested in cutting him any slack.

"I could say I didn't mean it, but that's not true," he said sadly. "I meant it when I said it, even though I knew it was horrible." He shook his head. "I just...can't seem to be around Marie-Ange lately without one of us saying something horrible to the other." He cast his eyes downward. "It has nothing to do with judging. Believe me, I do -not- think that you're a slut."

"Babe, it's got everything to do with judging," Jubilee replied, sitting back a bit, her body language relaxing slightly, seeming more open then aggressive now. "Marie-Ange is doing things she wasn't capable of when she was with you, and it's like, messing with your head that maybe she's better when she's not with you. But dude, it's like, quit making it all about you, yeah? Whether she can talk about sex in the open now or not has absolutely nothing to do with you, or with how you were before. You both totally said it, a year's a long, long time and people change, even without us around to watch it, and that's whether we like it or not."

"And she doesn't judge me back?" Doug asked, the quietness disappearing as his emotions made his tone a bit more ragged. "She might as well have called me incompetent," he said, folding his arms defensively over his chest.

"Of course she does, she's Marie-Ange," Jubilee replied, tone softer now, less angry then she had been. She always had found it hard to maintain any outward show of emotion that wasn't intense. "And it's only been a year, and you know each other so well that hurting each other is the easiest thing in the world when you're angry. That doesn't mean it's right, for either of you to be doing it. It's okay to be awkward, you know, and to admit to it. Heck, it's even okay to say 'I'm angry about how we broke up' and talk about that. But you gotta stop sniping at each other, cause it's not helping either of you."

"Yeah, tell that to her," Doug replied peevishly, still feeling extremely raw emotionally from having to have this talk with Jubilee.

He still wanted to go into his server room and lock the door, as unproductive as that might be. Especially with a girlfriend who was an accomplished infiltrator.

"If you want," Jubilee replied, standing and moving closer to him so she could stand on her tiptoes and give him a kiss on the cheek. "You're better then what that conversation showed, Doug. I love you, and no one I love could possibly be as much of an asshole as you seemed to be last night. Totally, completely not counting any choices I made before China and Madripoor beat the stupid outta me. So go appoligise to her, not because I told you to, but because you know it's the right thing to do."

"Yeah, I know," was the weary admission from Doug. He was weary a lot these days. Life had a tendency to do that to you, especially a life as complicated and complex as his. He straightened his shoulders and turned around to head to Marie-Ange's office.