Amanda and Meggan - backdated to July 7
Jul. 7th, 2011 12:20 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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xp_logsMeggan and Amanda have a talk about what went on when Meggan was stuck in the nightmare.
“Hey, Amanda? It's me, I’m here,” Meggan called as she simultaneously knocked at the door to her sister’s apartment. Carefully, because she really didn’t want to disturb any of the gauze on her arms or the stitches in her shoulder, and have to rewrap the former right now. There really hadn’t been a second thought about coming over, because she knew she needed to talk about everything at some point.
There was barely a pause between the knock and the door opening, as if Amanda had been standing there waiting for her (she hadn't, she'd been in the kitchen, but she'd teleported as soon as she'd heard her sister's voice). "Meg?" Amanda took in the bandages and winced, pausing in the act of reaching forward to hug her. "Fucking hell. Come in. If I'd known the state you were in, I would have driven over." She waved the younger girl inside, laying a hand briefly on her lower back as she passed, and closed the door behind her. "Sit down. Kettle's on."
Meggan didn’t know why she hadn’t asked her to, but it hadn’t been too bad getting over, all things considered. “Yeah, it’ll just be very careful hugs only from the left for a little while,” she said as she nodded and took a seat. She gestured vaguely to her right shoulder. “Mostly have to avoid the stitches up there.”
Amanda reminded herself she'd promised not to mama bear. "How bad is it?" she asked, calmly as she went back to the kitchen and finished making tea. "Do you need me to find some energy donors for a Healing?"
“The gashes aren’t that bad. The shoulder bite’s a little deep, though,” Meggan admitted. She hadn’t really paid attention to the exact number of stitches at the time, but now she realized she should have. “It probably would have been a lot worse if I’d started pushing at Kyle, instead of punching him in the nose.” At the question of healing it, she shook her head. “No, no, that’s okay, you don't need to do that,” she assured her. Maybe if it looked like it was taking a sharp turn into infected or off the scales pain, but not unless that happened. She thought she could handle the discomfort.
"Kyle?" Amanda was even more confused - Kyle was a good kid and was pretty scrupulous about his self-control. She came over with the tea, setting the cups down on the coffee table and taking a seat next to Meggan on the couch. "All right, I'm getting this all topsy-turvy, and this is about you, not me. So..." She reached over and patted Meggan's knee. "I'll stop reacting and just listen, 'kay?"
“The nightmare guy did something to his head, that’s all I really know. Kurt got him away from me,” Meggan explained. Right, she was starting at the end instead of the beginning of the awful stuff. It was easy to get off track and start avoiding, with so much having gone on. “Right, you know people got stuck together in the bad dreams? It was me, Amara, and Jubilee, and...our thing was Selene.” Popping up again like some demonic whack-a-mole, she thought but didn’t say. She took a breath, before continuing, “I was possessed again, but it wasn’t like last time. She was…pouring her stuff into my head constantly, so I wasn’t me, and I wanted to do everything she wanted, and I couldn’t remember you or Kurt or anything. I was doing some really nasty stuff with her. Apprentice type things, and we were hurting people.” Well, that had poured out in more of a rush than she’d intended.
Her sister nodded, face darkening. "I thought as much when Jubes mentioned Selene on the journals," she replied slowly. "And it makes sense that she'd show up in your worst nightmare. If I'd been there, it probably would have been the same." She paused to sip her tea, and to let Meggan continue. The words had to come from her, after all.
“Yeah,” Meggan agreed. She took a small sip of her tea, before going any further. “She was teaching me things, and I was…I was happily torturing some people that didn’t run away fast enough, or that tried to help others that couldn’t get away. Like it was fun.” That still made her feel so sick. “If I started to feel like me, even for just a moment, it got drowned out by her stuff, or her telepathically ordering things.” Meggan had seen the comment in the journals, too, and nodded. “The sacrifice part? Yeah, I...I suggested Selene throw Amara into a volcano when she ordered Selene to let me go. Because she asked what I thought we should do to her. Selene made her make one, but then said she had a better sacrifice. I don’t know how she did it, but there was another me. So you have the me that’s possessed, and the me that’s acting more like me than the actual me, even if she wasn’t me. But she thought she was me, she just couldn’t prove it."
Frowning, she added, “I heckled her, because she didn’t want to die. Well, of course, she wouldn’t want to be thrown into a volcano. I don’t think anyone would.” Because if it had actually been her, she’d be just as dead as that poor Cuckoo right about now, and not horrified.
"You weren't yourself, Meg, that was the point of the whole thing. To bring your worst fears to light." Amanda kept her voice soothing, although it was a struggle. Jubilee had mentioned holding back and letting the other Meggan die - it was hard not to react, she had to keep reminding herself she hadn't been there, but her instinct was to beat the shite out of the mall rat for not interceding. For letting Meg - or a version of Meg - die. "You know you yourself would never do any of those things, right?"
After a moment, Meggan sighed and nodded shakily. Grateful for the reminder. “Yeah, I know.” It was hard not to let it get to her, but she knew she would never have wanted to do those things to people. She didn't want to start crying over people that never actually died, but it was a close call. “After the other me died, we started over again. Or Selene teleported Jubilee and Amara away, I don’t know which anymore, because they had to arrive again.” Either thing was something that Selene could have done. “Amara broke me out of it. Eventually. She just kept talking once we were out of range, even when it looked like I might try something.” She was so grateful for that. “Because I was supposed to do something to her...remind her of how to serve Selene, and...find someone, and if she was lying...get rid of her. She talked about you and Kurt, and eventually it got through all that stuff in my head. So I could think.”
Amanda made a mental note to do whatever Amara would like most as a thank you for that. "I'm proud of you, Meg. You fought back. You didn't let them make a victim of you." Setting her cup down, she reached out for Meggan's hands. "I know it's hard - we're all scared of what we're capable of. But you beat it, Meg."
Meggan would have pulled her sister in for a hug, if not for all the annoying stitches on her right shoulder. So she settled for a careful half-hug before pulling back reluctantly. It was more than a little obvious that she was swallowing back tears, too. She knew it was probably just a reaction to everything. Talking about it seemed like it was helping a bit, though. “I got choked Darth Vader style, because I said I wouldn’t do what she wanted anymore when she tried to take me back there at the end—and maybe partly because I pulled off a levitating kick that made her really mad,” she guessed with a tiny grin. “But we did beat her, and we all woke up alive and helped.”
"That's my girl," Amanda said with an answering grin. "Never be afraid of pissing someone off, especially if they're trying to fuck with you." She laid her hand on Meggan's cheek. "And I'm glad you're safe. I'm just sorry you had to go through that, all of you."
“I’ll remember,” Meggan chuckled. “Next couple of nights really weren’t the best,” she finally admitted. “When I was ready to try sleeping, it was iffy. Mini-nightmares of some of the stuff I saw, not over the top, but I guess everyone’s getting those.” If anyone involved wasn’t getting a tough time of it when it came to sleep, she would be surprised. “I did finally get some good sleep, though." Her brain may have been too tired for anything else. "Last night was better than the one before, and that was slightly better, too,” she added, not wanting Amanda to worry.
"That's how it'll be, love. You'll have nightmares and times when you can't sleep, but it'll get a little bit better each time. Just remember, if you need help sleeping, I can fix you up with something - I might not be in the potion business any more, but I know people who are. But don't try to pretend things are okay right away. Talk to people, let them know if you need a bit of extra support, yeah?" In other words, don't be me. "We're all here for you."
“I know. And I will. Talk to people, I mean,” Meggan promised. She didn’t like going over the extremely nasty parts of what she’d been up to in that nightmare, but she would if she had to, if it helped. Just no sharing of graphic details with Molly, since she didn’t want to give her bad dreams. “I’ll let you know if it’s looking like I’m needing help for a night of normal sleep, too.” She probably wouldn’t, and it would be an absolute last resort, but it was nice to know the option was there.
"Good stuff." Amanda leaned back, tilting her head slightly. "You hungry? 'Cause I've got the fixings for dinner and all the British comedy you can handle."
“Food...sounds wonderful. And comedy,” Meggan confirmed. She hadn't noticed until now just how hungry she was. “Do you have any Monty Python? That could be first,” she asked hopefully. Any comedy was welcome right about now, if it got her mind off everything for a few minutes.
Amanda snorted. "This is me you're talking to. I have more Monty Python than you can poke a stick at." She nodded at a shelf on her TV unit which held all the movies and various incarnations of the television shows available. "I find the fish slapping dance usually cheers me up."
“That one’s funny,” Meggan agreed. “The Lumberjack Song and Ministry of Silly Walks are my favorites.” At least currently, since a marathon might change that. She hadn’t seen the movies yet, so one of them always had the chance to edge out another sketch. Or it would just be a really big, really welcome, tie.
“Hey, Amanda? It's me, I’m here,” Meggan called as she simultaneously knocked at the door to her sister’s apartment. Carefully, because she really didn’t want to disturb any of the gauze on her arms or the stitches in her shoulder, and have to rewrap the former right now. There really hadn’t been a second thought about coming over, because she knew she needed to talk about everything at some point.
There was barely a pause between the knock and the door opening, as if Amanda had been standing there waiting for her (she hadn't, she'd been in the kitchen, but she'd teleported as soon as she'd heard her sister's voice). "Meg?" Amanda took in the bandages and winced, pausing in the act of reaching forward to hug her. "Fucking hell. Come in. If I'd known the state you were in, I would have driven over." She waved the younger girl inside, laying a hand briefly on her lower back as she passed, and closed the door behind her. "Sit down. Kettle's on."
Meggan didn’t know why she hadn’t asked her to, but it hadn’t been too bad getting over, all things considered. “Yeah, it’ll just be very careful hugs only from the left for a little while,” she said as she nodded and took a seat. She gestured vaguely to her right shoulder. “Mostly have to avoid the stitches up there.”
Amanda reminded herself she'd promised not to mama bear. "How bad is it?" she asked, calmly as she went back to the kitchen and finished making tea. "Do you need me to find some energy donors for a Healing?"
“The gashes aren’t that bad. The shoulder bite’s a little deep, though,” Meggan admitted. She hadn’t really paid attention to the exact number of stitches at the time, but now she realized she should have. “It probably would have been a lot worse if I’d started pushing at Kyle, instead of punching him in the nose.” At the question of healing it, she shook her head. “No, no, that’s okay, you don't need to do that,” she assured her. Maybe if it looked like it was taking a sharp turn into infected or off the scales pain, but not unless that happened. She thought she could handle the discomfort.
"Kyle?" Amanda was even more confused - Kyle was a good kid and was pretty scrupulous about his self-control. She came over with the tea, setting the cups down on the coffee table and taking a seat next to Meggan on the couch. "All right, I'm getting this all topsy-turvy, and this is about you, not me. So..." She reached over and patted Meggan's knee. "I'll stop reacting and just listen, 'kay?"
“The nightmare guy did something to his head, that’s all I really know. Kurt got him away from me,” Meggan explained. Right, she was starting at the end instead of the beginning of the awful stuff. It was easy to get off track and start avoiding, with so much having gone on. “Right, you know people got stuck together in the bad dreams? It was me, Amara, and Jubilee, and...our thing was Selene.” Popping up again like some demonic whack-a-mole, she thought but didn’t say. She took a breath, before continuing, “I was possessed again, but it wasn’t like last time. She was…pouring her stuff into my head constantly, so I wasn’t me, and I wanted to do everything she wanted, and I couldn’t remember you or Kurt or anything. I was doing some really nasty stuff with her. Apprentice type things, and we were hurting people.” Well, that had poured out in more of a rush than she’d intended.
Her sister nodded, face darkening. "I thought as much when Jubes mentioned Selene on the journals," she replied slowly. "And it makes sense that she'd show up in your worst nightmare. If I'd been there, it probably would have been the same." She paused to sip her tea, and to let Meggan continue. The words had to come from her, after all.
“Yeah,” Meggan agreed. She took a small sip of her tea, before going any further. “She was teaching me things, and I was…I was happily torturing some people that didn’t run away fast enough, or that tried to help others that couldn’t get away. Like it was fun.” That still made her feel so sick. “If I started to feel like me, even for just a moment, it got drowned out by her stuff, or her telepathically ordering things.” Meggan had seen the comment in the journals, too, and nodded. “The sacrifice part? Yeah, I...I suggested Selene throw Amara into a volcano when she ordered Selene to let me go. Because she asked what I thought we should do to her. Selene made her make one, but then said she had a better sacrifice. I don’t know how she did it, but there was another me. So you have the me that’s possessed, and the me that’s acting more like me than the actual me, even if she wasn’t me. But she thought she was me, she just couldn’t prove it."
Frowning, she added, “I heckled her, because she didn’t want to die. Well, of course, she wouldn’t want to be thrown into a volcano. I don’t think anyone would.” Because if it had actually been her, she’d be just as dead as that poor Cuckoo right about now, and not horrified.
"You weren't yourself, Meg, that was the point of the whole thing. To bring your worst fears to light." Amanda kept her voice soothing, although it was a struggle. Jubilee had mentioned holding back and letting the other Meggan die - it was hard not to react, she had to keep reminding herself she hadn't been there, but her instinct was to beat the shite out of the mall rat for not interceding. For letting Meg - or a version of Meg - die. "You know you yourself would never do any of those things, right?"
After a moment, Meggan sighed and nodded shakily. Grateful for the reminder. “Yeah, I know.” It was hard not to let it get to her, but she knew she would never have wanted to do those things to people. She didn't want to start crying over people that never actually died, but it was a close call. “After the other me died, we started over again. Or Selene teleported Jubilee and Amara away, I don’t know which anymore, because they had to arrive again.” Either thing was something that Selene could have done. “Amara broke me out of it. Eventually. She just kept talking once we were out of range, even when it looked like I might try something.” She was so grateful for that. “Because I was supposed to do something to her...remind her of how to serve Selene, and...find someone, and if she was lying...get rid of her. She talked about you and Kurt, and eventually it got through all that stuff in my head. So I could think.”
Amanda made a mental note to do whatever Amara would like most as a thank you for that. "I'm proud of you, Meg. You fought back. You didn't let them make a victim of you." Setting her cup down, she reached out for Meggan's hands. "I know it's hard - we're all scared of what we're capable of. But you beat it, Meg."
Meggan would have pulled her sister in for a hug, if not for all the annoying stitches on her right shoulder. So she settled for a careful half-hug before pulling back reluctantly. It was more than a little obvious that she was swallowing back tears, too. She knew it was probably just a reaction to everything. Talking about it seemed like it was helping a bit, though. “I got choked Darth Vader style, because I said I wouldn’t do what she wanted anymore when she tried to take me back there at the end—and maybe partly because I pulled off a levitating kick that made her really mad,” she guessed with a tiny grin. “But we did beat her, and we all woke up alive and helped.”
"That's my girl," Amanda said with an answering grin. "Never be afraid of pissing someone off, especially if they're trying to fuck with you." She laid her hand on Meggan's cheek. "And I'm glad you're safe. I'm just sorry you had to go through that, all of you."
“I’ll remember,” Meggan chuckled. “Next couple of nights really weren’t the best,” she finally admitted. “When I was ready to try sleeping, it was iffy. Mini-nightmares of some of the stuff I saw, not over the top, but I guess everyone’s getting those.” If anyone involved wasn’t getting a tough time of it when it came to sleep, she would be surprised. “I did finally get some good sleep, though." Her brain may have been too tired for anything else. "Last night was better than the one before, and that was slightly better, too,” she added, not wanting Amanda to worry.
"That's how it'll be, love. You'll have nightmares and times when you can't sleep, but it'll get a little bit better each time. Just remember, if you need help sleeping, I can fix you up with something - I might not be in the potion business any more, but I know people who are. But don't try to pretend things are okay right away. Talk to people, let them know if you need a bit of extra support, yeah?" In other words, don't be me. "We're all here for you."
“I know. And I will. Talk to people, I mean,” Meggan promised. She didn’t like going over the extremely nasty parts of what she’d been up to in that nightmare, but she would if she had to, if it helped. Just no sharing of graphic details with Molly, since she didn’t want to give her bad dreams. “I’ll let you know if it’s looking like I’m needing help for a night of normal sleep, too.” She probably wouldn’t, and it would be an absolute last resort, but it was nice to know the option was there.
"Good stuff." Amanda leaned back, tilting her head slightly. "You hungry? 'Cause I've got the fixings for dinner and all the British comedy you can handle."
“Food...sounds wonderful. And comedy,” Meggan confirmed. She hadn't noticed until now just how hungry she was. “Do you have any Monty Python? That could be first,” she asked hopefully. Any comedy was welcome right about now, if it got her mind off everything for a few minutes.
Amanda snorted. "This is me you're talking to. I have more Monty Python than you can poke a stick at." She nodded at a shelf on her TV unit which held all the movies and various incarnations of the television shows available. "I find the fish slapping dance usually cheers me up."
“That one’s funny,” Meggan agreed. “The Lumberjack Song and Ministry of Silly Walks are my favorites.” At least currently, since a marathon might change that. She hadn’t seen the movies yet, so one of them always had the chance to edge out another sketch. Or it would just be a really big, really welcome, tie.
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