Log: 'Monty' and 'Red,' Saturday evening (backdated)

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After the spell kicks in, Monty spies Red near the bar and tries to work his own kind of magic on her.


He was wet. His jeans were muddy and he smelt like burnt pumpkin. Monty took a long gulp from a quickly built Long Island Ice Tea, considering the horrible possibility of either not getting laid tonight, or being forced to go after someone old, like twenty-five to thirty, in order to get his rocks off. Neither option was appealing, and the desperate attempts at sexy uniforms by the locals was down right depressing.

Except...

"Hey there, Red." His hands moved automatically, flipping and spinning bottles as he started to build her a drink. His grin was positively lupine as he worked. "Stopping off for a drink before Grandma's house?"

Raising an eyebrow at being addressed in such a fashion, Red Riding Hood turned to face whomever had just spoke to her. "Mmm, one for the road, I suppose." She took him in, giving him a quick glance from head to toe, then nodded. "Yes, it couldn't hurt, could it?" Watching him flipping and spinning bottles was vaguely intriguing, at least. "What exactly are you doing?" She gazed in his direction, smiling sweetly as she did so.

"In my experience, it never hurts. Much." A bottle made an inverse figure eight loop in his hands, as he started to add to the shaker. He caught the look, that suggested that she might be going to Grandma's but wasn't against coming here first. I'm so fucking witty, he thought. "This is a Long Island Iced Tea. It actually is the perfect synthesis of the development of the modern world. Do you know why, Red?"

"Long Island Iced Tea." she repeated. "I do not know what that is." It sounded like a cup of tea that had been left to go cold, which wasn't really all that appetizing at all. Nonetheless, she took a seat at the bar, taking the hood of her cloak down as she did so, glancing again at him. Red shook her head at the question from Monty. "No, but I have a sneaking suspicion that I'm about to find out, hmmm?"

"Look at the history. You start with a native culture being discovered and then brutally wiped out." He held up the bottle of tequila, and with a snap of his wrist, sent it spinning up into the air. He stopped it dead as it started to come down, jarring out a spout of liquor that he deftly caught in the shaker without missing a drop. "You add on to that a group of islands that can be populated with transplanted slave labour to create safe harbours for your fleets of exploration." The bottle of rum was next. He dropped it, catching it neatly on the toe of his shoe and then kicking it straight up in a tight loop before snagging it to pour the shot in.

"Ports, fresh water, slaves - now all you need is a way to stay relatively healthy over long voyages-" Monty held up the bottle of sweet and sour lime mix, and rolled it across the back of his fingers like a magician with a coin trick to bump a shot in. "-and what do you get? The Age of Empires!"

He lined up three shot glasses, one after the other.

"The British Empire-" He picked up the shot of gin and slammed it down sharply, snagging the alcohol before it spilled.

"The French Empire-" The shot of triple sec spun twice in the air, depositing the liquor neatly into the shaker.

"And the Russian Empire." He tossed the shot of vodka up, and snatched it from the air with the shaker.

"So there's just one real empire left. America. And what is it's contribution?"

"...the Long Island Iced Tea?" Red really didn't have any idea what he was talking about whatsoever, though it was entertaining to watch him spin and toss the bottles without dropping them. He was very good at that, she had to give him credit for his manual dexterity at least, if not his conversational skills.

Monty reached down and came up with a can of Coke. "The very last piece of the puzzle is a goddamn Coca-Cola." He added a splash and deftly shook the drink, finally pouring it out in a long stream into a waiting highball glass. "And viola, the Long Island Iced Tea - the acme of civilization."

Red eyed the glass suspiciously. She'd never heard of Coca-Cola, the last ingredient in this acme of civilization, as he called it, but it seemed like she was supposed to drink it. "And this is a beverage, yes?" What a strange concoction indeed. She eyed Monty, then reached out for the glass since he seemed to be done flipping and shaking things.

"Well, you can wash your hair with, but the results are a lot better when you take a big gulp, trust me."

She rolled her eyes at that but took a big sip of the drink nonetheless. It was quite unlike anything she'd ever tasted before, but it wasn't bad, not at all. Whatever was in it was fairly potent, though, even the first taste told her that much. "Hmm, well, I can't speak as to washing one's hair with it, but it's not wholly unpleasant." She took another mouthful, a bigger one this time.

He noticed her eyes drifting contemplatively on him again, as he started to build her a second one. The advantage of the Long Island Iced Tea was that it didn't taste all that much like alcohol after the first few sips, despite being particularly strong. "All the better to eat you with..." he muttered under his breath.

A second drink went down with the first, and Monty enjoyed a pair of shots as he watched the booze take effect - flushed skin, a slightly unfocused expression, a contemplative and suggestive smile. He'd seen it in a thousand girls over a hundred nights at the bar. It was 'the' look, which said that the little red skirt was going to be up around her waist very soon. He poured himself a drink and leaned on the bar, finally matching his eyes to the looks she'd been giving him the whole time.

"So, about that basket of goodies..." He said, although noticed her eyes slid off his gaze and over his shoulder. Was she that drunk already?

Her mind was buzzing already after just those few drinks. They really were fantastic at covering up the taste of all that alcohol, which had went straight to Red's head. She was staring alright but not at Monty - her gaze was just over his shoulder at a cute girl positioned behind him. "Yes, quite a generous basket of goodies indeed. I believe I shall investigate them further." She got to her feet, wobbling a little as she did so, whoa. The other girl seemed to have left, so she'd just have to go in search of her. Maybe she was headed for the corn maze.

"Many thanks for the refreshments, barkeep." Red searched for some coin in her pockets but alas, she had naught. So instead she blew a kiss to Monty, then winked and turned away.

"Wait, what-" Monty looked back over his shoulder, catching sight of the girl. "Oh come on! Seriously?" He shouted. "Fuuuuuuck!" he hissed, grabbing the bottle of vodka from the bar and stalking away.