Kyle (aka Jayne) and Wade (aka Earl Montgomery) (backdated)

[x-deadpool.livejournal.com]

Earl and Jayne are both looking for people, only then somebody notices somebody else wearing a familiar pair of boots and the fists fly.


Earl rubbed at the back of his neck, still having had no luck whatsoever at finding his nemesis - he needed a different word for her. She was his fiance, after all. But she was a thieving little thing now and he had to see her brought to justice. The marriage issue could just... it could stay on the back burner. Turning a corner in the barn, still looking for his horse, he ran into a guy a couple inches taller than him who... looked weird. "'scuse me," he said, tipping his hat a bit as he stepped back. What was with everyone looking so weird here?

"You seen a lil' crazy girl round here? Or a fancy-pants doctor?" Jayne shook some of the hay off his feet, if things weren't weird enough someone had stole his best boots. He peered at the man, dressed just enough like Mal that he'd had to double-take. "You look like you're from round here, you know where the nearest shipyard is? Looking for a ship."

"Shipyard?" Earl asked, frowning a little. "Nah, that'd be back in... well, California, probably. Unless you're headed east, in which case you could maybe find one in... I dunno. Maine. Or New York? Awful late in the year to be looking for ships, though. Not that I know much about 'em, of course. Hadn't seen no doctors, no, but I think there's plenty of crazy girls around."

"Maine? Where in the 'verse is Maine? Ain't no colony called Maine I know of." Jayne looked at the man carefully, and his eyes went down to the man's nice new shiny boots. "You're the ta ma duh that stole my boots! Those'r my boots!" He pointed at the boots, and when the man looked down, threw a wild punch.

Earl got hit in the side of the head and stumbled backward. It wasn't the worst punch he'd ever taken, but it was damned near the dirtiest. Straightening up, he went in for a punch of his own, fingers balled up tight, and yelled, "I ain't no tamater, you good for nothin'..."

Worst yet, he didn't have any good weapons, and for the life of him, Jayne couldn't figure out where the hell he'd stashed 'em. Must've been some party, he thought. He bared his teeth, and headbutted the man hard. It rung his bell a bit, but he was used to fighting with his bell rung, and he kept swinging.

Ducking the next swipe, Earl scowled. He hated people who just started fights for no good reason - these were his boots. He'd bought 'em from the general store not three days ago and he'd be damned if he was gonna let some hoodlum in a funny hat take 'em off him. He wasn't expecting the headbutt, though - Earl could admit that. It did, however, afford him a great opportunity to bring his elbow down on the stranger's back. Probably wouldn't do much good, but damned if Earl knew more about fighting then that, at the end of it, it was best if you were still standing and the other guy looked worse.

"Gimme my gorram boots!" Jayne yelled, enraged, and flipped himself around. The elbow to the back hurt like hell but not half as bad as he'd had before. He punched again, and the man - the gou cao de son of a bitch - put up his hands to block it and Jayne could've sworn he didn't carry a knife, didn't remember a knife but lines of blood appeared on the man's arms like he'd be cut up.

"God - you son of a - lowlife and a woman of ill repute," Earl growled, pausing long enough to look at the back of his hands, which looked like they'd been scratched to hell and back. "If'n I knew you'd fight like a woman, I'd'a treated you a bit nicer." As it was, he balled his hands into fists again and swung at the other man's jaw. Bastard.

What he didn't notice, of course, was the fact that even as he swung at the guy in the funny hat, the scratches along the backs of his hands had slowly started to heal.

"Don't you call my ma no doxy, I know what ill repute means! I ain't that dumb!" Jayne roared. "And I don't fight like no woman!" He had landed on the ground after the punch to his jaw and he was shaking his head from side to side slowly. He'd gotten his bell rung good, and he still needed to find Kaylee and the doctor and his feng le sister and get off this gorramn rock. He liked a good fight but this was just getting too weird. "Mighty powerful punch you got there..."

Earl paused at that, blinked a little, then shrugged, his anger deflating a bit. "Thank you kindly, I suppose," he said. Raising his hand, he scratched at the back of his neck just near the band of his hat, then shrugged again and offered the man a hand up. "No offense toward your mamma, of course. I don't usually go 'round insulting people's mammas. Just... everything's real odd tonight. Can't find my fiancee. Thought I found her, but the woman wasn't her - had real nice hair, though." He shook his head again, frowning.

"Weren't no woman named Saffron, were it? Red hair, pretty as a picture?" Jayne asked once he was on his feet again, looking closely at the man. "Cause if it was, you best just start running now. She's a real piece of guay toh guay nown.. Might've been she's the one what stole my boots if she's running around this place."

"Nah," Earl shook his head. "Lady by the name of Victoria Secret. Bounty hunter after me for stealing cattle - which I didn't do. But she stole my horse, so." He frowned and shook his head. "Can't find my Ellie Mae anywhere - putting me in a right state. Her pa's gonna be spitting mad when I get her home. Assuming I can find her, of course."

Jayne scratched his head. "Well, don't know I can be much help there, got my own problems, but any man who can take a couple of punches and throw 'em back's decent in my book." He didn't have a book, but if he did, it'd be full of the names of people who knew how to fight. "I'll keep an eye out in the 'verse for your Ellie Mae, and you see that Saffron, well, I dunno, just shoot her, I reckon."