xp_logs | Angelo and Bobby

Bobby was lying on his bed in his room, mp3s playing softly in the background as he played idly with a Rubik's cube he'd bought online, for the novelty mostly.

Angelo walked quietly along the corridor towards Bobby's room. He'd just realised how long it was since he'd seen his friend out and about, and it was... worrying. Arriving at Bobby's door, he knocked quietly.

Bobby glanced at the door and set the Rubik's cube down on his nightstand, sitting up. "Come in, it's open."

Angelo pushed the door open and walked in, stopping just inside the room. "Hey, Bobby."

"Angelo! Hey, how've you been?" Everything seemed to be fine with Bobby; he was chipper, smiling, friendly. He waved a hand toward a nearby chair in invitation. "Have a seat."

Angelo raised an eyebrow, but didn't comment on Bobby's apparent cheerfulness, instead moving further into the room and sitting down. "How've you been, man? Haven't seen much of you lately - but then, I've been... busy... myself."

"Oh, you know. I've been...around." He shrugged, smile still firmly in place. "Trying to get all the quizzes out of the way before spring break, I don't want to send anyone on vacation with a metric ton of homework."

Angelo nodded. "Very nice of you, I'm sure they'll appreciate it."

"I wouldn't want to get a rep as the 'mean' teacher, after all." Bobby grinned and reclined on his bed, hands tucked behind his head. "So how've you been? Aside from busy?"

Angelo paused, trying to put together an answer that wouldn't worry Bobby overmuch, and finally settled for a simple, "Okay."

Of course, the brevity of the answer was reason for, if not concern, then at least curiosity. "Just okay? Anything happened that I don't know about?" Bobby had to fight off a bitter little smile. There was precious little he did know about these days, what with his self-imposed isolation, other than classes.

Angelo shrugged. "A few things. Dunno if you heard about what happened in town with Marie? An' then I was talkin' to Amanda, an' she said a few things that hurt."

"Oh. Yeah, I heard about the thing in town, yeah. Glad you're both okay now." Bobby sat partway up, rolling onto his side and leaning on his elbow. "What'd Amanda say?" That girl was sure one for causing trouble, wasn't she?

Angelo glanced down. "Just stuff. She... I told her some things 'cause I thought I could trust her, an' I guess I was wrong. That's all."

"I'm sorry, man," Bobby said softly, frowning. "I don't know what to say."

Angelo glanced up, looking very tired. "Not your fault", he said equally softly. "Just gonna have to be more careful." He sighed, then added, "I mean, I've got Paige, an' you, an' Marie an' Shinobi an' Alex. How many more friends do I need, huh?"

Bobby shrugged. "Sounds like you're set, for friends," he agreed. "I feel bad for the girl, though. She seems to just walk into trouble, no matter what she's trying to do."

Angelo shrugged, jaw set. "Sure felt pretty deliberate from my side, this time", he muttered. "Marie says I should give her another chance, an' I'm gonna try, but..."

"Well, Em's a pretty good judge of character, I think. But hey, I don't know the whole story, so I can't really say either way." Bobby reached out and picked up the Rubik's cube again, more to have something in his hands than with any desire to solve the damn thing, as evidenced by him just turning it over in his hands repeatedly.

Angelo just nodded, dropping the subject. "Hey, man, you can tell me to back off if you want, but... are you okay? I mean, after what happened in the kitchen..."

Bobby nearly dropped the Rubik's cube, before tightening his fingers on it. "Oh. ...Yeah, I'm fine. Aside from the fact that I think I'll stay well clear of Manuel de la Rocha, that is..." He swallowed and sat up, spinning one panel of cubes around and around, staring at it without seeing it.

Angelo blinked, then his eyes hardened. "Why? What did he do?"

"He...well, other than accusing me of lusting for him, not much." Bobby was fairly sure the rest of it had been unintentional, since his admittedly fragmented memories of the incident included a rather traumatized Manuel.

Angelo frowned. "So what happened?" he asked gently.

Bobby took a deep breath. "I was in the kitchen, Manuel came in and freaked out, saying I was lusting after him...and then...I guess we got caught in some kind of empathic loop. Kind of like what happened with Doug, I think."

Angelo nodded, his frown not lifting. "An' that's when your powers got out of control?"

"Yeah." Bobby rubbed his hands unconsciously on the legs of his jeans, as he remembered the power pouring out of his body, uncontrolled, dropping the temperature in the kitchen to frigid levels.

Angelo glanced at Bobby's hands, worried, then back up. "Wanna talk about it?"

Bobby took a shaky breath. If there was anyone he could trust, it was Angelo. The girls would all beg/nag/force him to get help, but Angelo just might understand his reluctance. And probably wouldn't push, even if he didn't. "Manuel stirred up some...stuff, in my head. And then it started bouncing between us, I guess." He clenched his hands into fists and hissed, "But I didn't like it--he's wrong."

"Of course you didn't", Angelo answered soothingly. "Whatever it was, I believe you."

Bobby looked at Angelo and then, for the first time, put his experience during his kidnapping into words. "When I was a hostage of the FoH...there was this guy." He shuddered at the memory, the way the man smelled, sounded, felt...tasted. "He--" He had to look away for this part. "...played with me, he called it. Said I was his toy."

Angelo winced, suddenly pale. "Oh God... Bobby..." He stretched out a hand, then let it fall before touching the other boy.

Bobby barely noticed, he was caught in the memories; the blanket near his hands was starting to ice up. "Manuel...said I liked it, and...I guess, that must be true, on some level." He didn't want to explain about the dreams, reliving the rapes, and waking up from them aroused.

Angelo glanced down at the blanket, extremely worried now. "No. Bobby, don't think like that. That fucker attacked you - why should it be true that you liked it?"

Bobby stood up and walked across the room, picking up a pencil from his desk and putting it down, doing the same with a magic marker, his back to Angelo. "Because...sometimes I...got hard, when he did it." A shiver of self-disgust ran through him as he said it.

Angelo took a moment to take that in. "Bobby... there was nothin' you could do about that. It's a physical thing, sometimes, there's no reason to it. It doesn't mean... what you think it does." He got up and moved to Bobby's side, laying a careful hand on his shoulder.

Bobby glanced back at Angelo, cheeks flushed with shame. "He loved it when I'd react. Told me I was a good little toy." Saying the words made Bobby realize that Alison was probably right to push him toward Dr. Samson. He should really deal with all of this.

Angelo's fists clenched at his sides, and he made a silent promise to hunt down the FoH man by any means necessary and make him suffer. "D'you really wanna believe that anything he said was right? Bobby, he probably encouraged the reactions. Sometimes, things like that happen whether we want them to or not."

"I know. In my head, I know that." But knowing something intellectually didn't make it any easier to believe, emotionally. "It's just...in the dark, in the middle of the night, logic isn't exactly the ruling force, you know?"

Angelo nodded, eyes dark. "Yeah. I know." He took a deep breath. "Bobby, I know it's not quite the same - but there was a time between manifestin' and comin' here when I was kinda desperate... an' there were certain things I ended up havin' to do..."

Bobby turned to face him, leaning against the edge of his desk. "Yeah?" He didn't want to push. Angelo would tell him more if he wanted to.

Angelo looked away, but kept going, trading a confession for a confession. "Yeah. Sometimes it was easy stuff - a muggin' here or there, dealin' when I got lucky... but sometimes that didn't work out, or didn't get me enough to live on. An' then I had t'go to the last resort." He stopped, hoping Bobby would guess before he had to put it into words again.

Bobby nodded. He had a pretty good idea of what Angelo was saying. "I'm sorry," he said softly, returning a touch for a touch, his hand going to Angelo's shoulder.

Angelo shrugged. "It wasn't as bad as what happened to you. It wasn't rape. But sometimes, it might as well have been - tends to be the freaks an' the bastards who'll pay up for an underage homeless mutant..."

"Yeah...I guess I can see that." Bobby shook his head. "We're both pretty messed up, it sounds like."

Angelo's mouth twisted into a wry not-quite-grin. "We're not the only ones, here." He paused, before asking carefully, "You told anyone what you just told me?"

Bobby shook his head quickly. "Dr. McCoy probably has an idea, he examined me pretty thoroughly when I got back. And I'm sure the Prof knows, too." He had a suspicion that Alison may know more than she'd let on, as well, but he wasn't sure, on that one. She'd never said anything, and her gentleness with him after he got back could have just been, well...Alison being Alison.

Angelo nodded. "But have you told anyone? Not just so they know, so you're not keepin' it all to yourself."

"No. You're the first." Bobby smiled wryly. "Lucky you, huh?"

Angelo returned the smile, with no amusement in it. "Yeah. It's not like I'm one to talk - apart from you, the only ones that know are Paige, Marie, an'..." His face darkened. "...an' Amanda. An' I didn't exactly tell Marie. But you really should talk to someone - even if it's just Samson."

Bobby sighed. "Yeah, I know. I had an appointment with him, but I kind of...skipped it." He looked sheepish. "I'll reschedule, I guess."

Angelo looked at him mock-sternly. "You'll reschedule or I'll do it for you. This is important, Bobby. You shouldn't have to live with this by yourself."

"I know, I know...I just..." He sighed and straightened. "I didn't want to deal with it. Thought I could just forget about it, if I didn't talk about it." He rolled his eyes at himself. "Doesn't work that way, does it?"

"Never does", Angelo answered sadly. "God knows I should know that by now."

"Okay, I'll see the good Doc. So you can stop worrying." Bobby gave Angelo a weak grin. "Alison'll be thrilled, I'm sure."

Angelo nodded. "Only 'cause she wants to know you're okay. You know? Or if not okay, then at least workin' on it."

"Yeah. I know." And Bobby didn't really want to dwell on Alison just then. That just made things worse. "You seeing Samson regularly?" he asked, in an attempt to turn the conversation.

Angelo let him change the subject. "More or less, yeah. Last time was after the thing in town."

"Does it really help?"

Angelo nodded. "It does, yeah. Not all at once, but it does." He gave Bobby's shoulder a squeeze, then let go. "Listen, man, we've both got work to do an' I should let you get back to it. But if you ever wanna talk, you can come find me - any time. An' promise me you'll tell someone else - doesn't matter who."

"All right. I promise." Bobby walked Angelo to the door. "It feels good to have told someone. Thanks for listening, man. And not judging."

Angelo grinned wryly. "No problem. I could say the same to you."

Bobby grinned back. "Yeah. I'll see you soon, I promise. Just--not anywhere near Manuel." He made a face and opened the door.

Angelo nodded. "Fair enough. I'll hold you to that." He walked through the door, turning just outside. "See you soon, man."

"See you." Bobby closed the door with a smile, and sank down on the edge of his bed, thinking.