xp_logs | Angelo and Marie

As soon as classes finished, Angelo headed over to Marie's room. He'd overheard someone saying Shinobi had taken her European Lit class, and wanted to be sure she was okay. Arriving at her suite, he knocked quietly.

Marie was in the kitchen, trading one cold pack for another out of the fridge when she heard the knock. Pulling her long sweat shirt down over her sleeves, she trudged to the door and opened it a crack. "Yeah?"

Angelo leaned to the side slightly to peer around the door, and frowned when he saw her. She'd obviously been crying, and her eyes were still red. "Marie? Are you okay?"

"Yeah. The last batch was more happy," she said vaguely, stepping back to let Angelo into the cool, dark suite. "I just had a bad afternoon, that's all."

Angelo followed her inside, still worried. "Want some company? Or to talk about it?"

"I just.... someone said something that set me off, and I'm still not really okay with everything." Marie sat down on the couch, rubbing at her temples. "It'll pass."

Angelo nodded, dropping onto the couch beside her. "Well, I'll go, or stay, or whatever you want."

Marie put her head in her hands and burst into tears again. "God I hate this." She fumbled blindly for the kleenex on the coffee table. "It was just an ignorant comment, you know? And then Scott was so nice about it and made me feel better, and for fuck's sake, Pete was nice about things and for some reason that's got me in tears."

Angelo reached tentatively for her hand. "Ignorant comments can hurt too, you know. You're allowed to react badly."

"What's so dumb is that it's the n ice stuff that's making me cry as much as the comment. And he didn't even mean it to be mean. He just scared me is all." She blew her nose and wiped her cheeks. "Made me throw up, to be honest."

Angelo nodded, then asked hesitantly, "What did he say?"

"That I was the people in my head, in a way," she said quietly. "And made some crack about me borrowing the name Lenscherr if I changed my name."

Angelo winced, knowing what that would have done to her. "Who said that?" he asked neutrally.

"Cain," Marie said without rancour. "He's a fucking bull in a china shop, he is. And he didn't even mean it to hurt, I don't think. It's just how he sees things, you know? It just hit me really badly."

Angelo nodded quietly. "Guess he wouldn't understand, no", he acknowledged, a little angry but not overly so.

"Anyway, it's passed," Marie said, reaching for another kleenex. "Or it would have if I'd stop being such a damn girl about it. It's just that it came up around my parents and all, right... and... just too many sensitive subjects at once."

Angelo sighed, holding out his arms. "Your parents. Ah. You've got as much right t'get overloaded as any of us, Marie."

Marie snuggled up against Angelo's shoulder with a sigh. "I just... I wish I were stronger about all this."

Angelo slipped his arms around her, holding her securely. "Marie, you're strong as hell an' you know it. But everybody has their breakin' point."

Marie nodded and sniffled. "Scott said I was as strong as Jean." Her voice broke again and the sobs returned. "And that we were family. I'm crying about that as much as anything else."

"Well, see, that's happy cryin', isn't it?" Angelo pointed out softly. "An' there's nothin' wrong with that at all."

"I hate crying," Marie said stubbornly through her tears. "I do it all the damn time, it seems."

Angelo shook his head, not really sure what he was denying. "Only when you need to. An' you can't be blamed for needin' to, with how crazy things've been."

"I do it where people can't see me," she admitted. "I don't know. It's a pressure thing. How can I be so happy and so messed up at once?"

Angelo shrugged. "Not sure I can answer that. Think a lot of people here have the same question, though."

Marie cuddled closer, sighing tiredly. "At least I have some happy. For a long time, I was just all about the messed up."

Angelo nodded sadly. "I hear you. Quite a while back there, I was all about the survivin'..."

"And the lonely. I was so lonely, I felt like you could see right through me if you looked hard. I need other people, y'know? Even if they run me ragged, I need them."

He nodded again, stroking her hair. "Nothin' wrong with that. Just means you're still you, still human." His mouth quirked wryly at his own choice of words.

Marie was silent for a long time, leaning against him with her eyes closed and her head on his shoulder. "Yeah. I guess it does mean I'm still me, doesn't it? And anything I can point to and say that is a good thing. Thanks, Skin."

"No problem", he said quietly. "It's what I'm here for."

She had something more to say but she was tired too, and by the time she'd figured out how to say it, Marie was asleep.

Angelo, not wanting to wake her, lay back carefully on the couch and pulled the blankets there up over the two of them, before laying his head back and closing his eyes. He was soon asleep too.