X-Mas in Milwaukee: Mint Condition Meetings

[x-dominion.livejournal.com]

The X-Men meet Milwaukee's Mightiest Heroes.



Hollis's secret base turned out to be a closed gas station garage on the west side of the city. Unlike most abandoned businesses, someone had taken the time to properly fence off the perimeter with cheap orange construction fencing, and while the windows remained dark, they were intact and unvandelized. He opened the gate to the garage and ushered the X-Men in, the entire time talking non-stop about his ideas for protecting the city once Leather Boy was gone, and suggesting that the 'Super Squad' and his own team would make an excellent cross over. When they reached the door, he knocked in a complex sequence. Through the door, they could hear an argument, as two voices challenged whether or not a knock had been missed before a female voice overruled them and ordered the door opened.

The X-Men stepped into the garage, which not shockingly, looked exactly like a normal car garage, with a few less tools strewn around. A van sat in the far bay, half covered in a tarp, the exposed sides showing an array of red, white and blue stripes. Obviously excited, Hollis waved them towards an array of secondhand couches, before finally addressing his own people.

"Guys, Leather Boy sent his jackbooted police lackies to arrest me, but I was rescued by the Super Squad. They're here to help us stop him." A tall, reptilian looking female gave him a look, and he shook his head. "Oh, yes, right, right. Sorry Dinah. Introductions!"

Grinning widely, he held his hand to his chest. "I, of course, am Mr. Immortal, leader of the Great Lakes Avengers! We avenge those who have suffered injustice. We avenge those who are victims to evil! We avenge those who cannot strike back for themselves. And those who... uh, live on the Great Lakes!"

Stepping forward, Doorman took it upon himself to speak next. "I am Doorman, a teleporter and transportation for the Great Lakes Avengers. I trust Mr. Immortal covered the whole avenging portion of our agenda." He chuckled at his own little joke. "We watch out for those who cannot watch out for themselves. We are always on watch, always watching." He looked around at the X-Men gathered before them as he spoke. "Always. For evil doers, I mean."

Bertha didn't bother to step forward, she just cleared her throat to draw attention to herself, which wasn't hard, considering she was by a sweeping margin the largest person in the room, and the only one wearing a bright yellow tracksuit. "I'm Bertha. I'm big. Don't mess with me, or my team, or we'll pound you." She cracked her knuckles, but her attempt to look tough fell a touch flat in the face of legitimate 'superheros'.

"Flatman," said a voice from the couch, which Bertha stepped aside slightly to reveal a still seated older man, flipping absently through an issue of Nylon. He was tall, stretched out, and nearly two dimensional, maybe only half a foot front to back. "Whatever, I just hope you proper heroes can convince Immortal that his cape idea needs at least one more panel to get the affect he's going for. And enough with the polyester satin," he managed in a bored tone, turning a page.

The tall, reptilian girl who had thus far been silent throughout the shambles that were the 'introductions' finally sighed and gave a curt nod in the direction of the newcomers. "I'm Dinah, and if you can't figure out what I can do then you're not as 'super' as you claim to be." She glanced at Hollis, and her expression twitched into something approaching friendliness as she turned back to the X-Men. "Thanks for helping us out."

"Agreed. Without them, Leather Boy would have made a significant step towards taking over the city." Hollis nodded. "And now, maybe we'll have a chance to roll back his operation entirely."

Scott crossed his arms and nodded at the group standing in front of him. "It is our pleasure to assist anybody else defending the innocent and fighting back against menaces such as Leather Boy" He managed to get out without cracking his stern visage. "I'm Patch" he said referring to the patch he wore over his left eye, "and this is my team, The Super Squad." As he spoke he gestured to his team-mates gathered behind him.

Kurt was still wearing his hood and had no intention of taking it off. He could laugh all he liked under there as long as he did it silently. Besides, it helped with the image.

"Go-Between", he said simply, leaving his introduction at that.

Clarice tried not to snicker. Thank goodness her air-head persona let her from time to time, "Tinky Winky," she chirped, clearly pleased. "Like the Teletubbie," she added. It had been her trainee name and unfortunately for everyone, she had loved it and hadn't wanted a more-proper nickname once she had become a full X-Man. She liked Blink too though.

“Miasma,” Laurie said with an enigmatic smile, and wondered if this was the sort of thing Dori and Doug did in those MMO games, it wasn’t completely unfun, even if it felt terribly silly. “It’s a pleasure to meet such dedicated heroes.”

"I'm the Amazing Squirrel Girl," Doreen said, jumping up and waving just in case they didn't see her, "And this is my Amazing Squirrel, uh, Tappy," Monkey Joe shot her a black, black look. "Can I just say you guys are totally awesome? And I mean that. Like the most amazing thing ever! This is so cool!"

It was really hard not to call herself "Abs of Steel" but really, that name would have made no sense, and wasn't quite true. Instead she stared balefully off to the corner with a huff. "Boom Boom," she said shortly.

"And I am Spike," Yvette chimed in, with a little wave. "It is good to meet another superhero team."

"Well now that the introductions are out of the way" Scott said looking around the gas station. "What do you do here when you're not...avenging?" he asked.

"Training." Hollis piped up quickly. "There's no substitute for old fashioned sweat and teamwork in the superhero game. Doorman and Dinah are working on the Avenger Battle Van, and once it's ready, we'll be able to respond in a flash when the Professor identifies another of Leather Boy's hide-outs. The bus just isn't a long term solution, and it's too hard to find places to change quickly."

"Not that changing is really that important," Dinah spoke up; her words had the tone of an old protestation having been long denied. "We're not exactly incognito, most of us." She eyed the group of other heroes, seemingly annoyed that the majority of the team looked so 'normal'. It was clear to see that even in street clothes Dinah would never 'pass' as baseline human - claw-tipped wings and the scaly green sheen of her skin would put a stop to that even in the worst light.

Clarice shrugged, "You'd be surprised how many people don't notice actually," she replied, "Especially when you're in the heat of battle. For all they know it's a green lizard mask. Seriously, people are stupid and they like to rationalize stuff away so that things remain how they want it," okay, so that was not really very bubble-headed, Oops. "It's very useful if you're a super hero like we are."

"Once Leather Boy is behind bars, we won't have to guard our secret identities so zealously." He touched Dinah's arm lightly, and they shared a look. "Also, I've designed a signal light so when the police are back under the leadership of honest officers, they'll be able to call on us day or night. Well, mostly night. Maybe we should leave a cell number or something with them for emergencies during the day. What do you think?"

"Perhaps", Kurt contributed cautiously. "Although they might feel it casts aspersions on their own ability."

"I suggest just keeping an eye on them from time to time." Doorman chimed in. "You know, just to peek in, make sure everything's ok." He looked around at everyone as he spoke. "What? I'm serious and totally talking innocently here."

Laurie felt like she’d been dropped into some sort of weird French comedy, the type where everybody was completely serious about having afternoon tea with a Rhino wearing a Tutu.

“I’ve found…” Laurie began, and then stopped, looking toward Kurt helplessly. She honestly couldn’t think of a way to end that sentence well. “Um, maybe we should just concentrate on Leather boy for now?”

Bertha moved up behind Laurie and slugged the girl lightly in the arm, sending her stumbling "Finally one of you has a brain in their head!" She looked towards Mr. Immortal and waved. "Come tell 'em about the Prof, Immie! I want some action."

"Right! Yes. Um. Well, there is another member of the Great Lakes Avengers. We call him the Professor. Mostly since that's what he told us to call him. The Professor is a vigilant foe of Leather Boy's, who uses computers and the internet to track his movements and contacts us regarding his plans. I think he operates out of a cave. Like, a Book Cave or something."

"We're still not sure exactly how he tracks Leather Boy," Dinah said warily, "or how he found out about us, but he seems to have good intentions, and it isn't like we can really keep on top of surveillance right now. It does mean we have to wait for him to contact us, though."

As if on cue, Hollis's cell phone began to ring, the dulcet tones of Freddie Mercury filling the garage.

"Oh, great!" Hollis answered the phone, almost vibrating with excitement. "Professor! Yes, yes, of course we're ready to go. We've been training around the clock and- what? Yes, of course. Really? Alright, you can count on us!" He closed the phone. "We've got a new mission, guys. And this is the big one. The Professor says that Leather Boy is manufacturing a gas that will make the whole city paralyzed while he robs all the banks and jewelry stores in town! We have to stop him tonight!"

Giving an excited fist pump, Flatman launched himself up off the couch, a set of keys already in hand. "Okay, but this time, we keep the car windows up. I am not going into a final showdown with our arch nemesis having wind mussed hair."