Log: Kurt and Megan

[x-welshpixie.livejournal.com]

Megan uncurled herself from the desk chair and snapped the lid down on her laptop. Browsing online, even the social sites, was not making her feel any better or more connected to the world today. She knew she should be happy to have friends she could talk to, but she had been a bit closed-off lately and didn't want to reintroduce herself while being in such a weird mood.

Finally, she headed down to the first floor, hoping her German teacher was still around for the day.

"Mr. Sefton?" she inquired at his office door, knocking twice.

A chair creaked inside the room as someone stood up, and Kurt opened the door with his usual smile. "Hello, Megan. What can I do for you?"

The teenager smiled back, immediately feeling at least half a point better, if she had to score moodiness on a 1-10 pain-scale-style chart.

"Oh, not much. Are you busy? I was just gonna ask about German homework and like, sort of random stuff."

"My door is always open to my students." He stood aside, the invitation clear. "Especially if they have questions of any kind."

Megan hopped inside the familiar office.
"I'm trying to figure out the lyrics to this Blutengel song, 'Rich mir die Hand', but I'm not sure about some of it. OK, I get it's 'give me your hand, our world shall burn'... something-something." She offered her mp3 player with the German darkwave song queue up. "It may seem like a weird way to study, but I think it's helping it click in my head!" she explained.

"German is German", was the cheerful response. "If you get the words from listening to the song, it is no worse than any other source."

"OK, that's good. I'm not normally good at studying, so anything helps! But, like, this type of music is pretty cool but it reminds me of weird things," she said, getting to the heart of the matter.

Kurt tilted his head at that, setting the music player down on his desk. "Weird things?"

Megan flopped down on a chair. "Well, you know, how twisted human nature can be. And the X-men are trying to do good in the world, but... I can see why some mutants give up and don't want to live in peace with humans. Mutants, too, can be twisted inside. I won't end up that way but... okay, this is weird, but I've always been into mythology. But I never really listened to music that was about myths and legends before, so now that I'm hearing this German and Icelandic stuff, with these themes, I feel this powerful surge of emotion. I feel really different. Is that normal?"

Kurt considered this, slowly walking back to his own chair and sitting back down. "There is a reason those myths and legends have lasted for thousands of years. They speak to something in all of us. Perhaps there is something in the singer's emotions that makes it different for you now."

"Maybe," she puffed out her cheeks, then relaxed."Well, I'm graduating this year. I guess I'm worried that I'm not going to be able to make a difference in the world. That struggles and hate will continue, as they always have. That I'm not a special little snowflake after all. And maybe being optimistic all the time is kind of childish. I dunno."

"Ah, Megan." He leaned back and looked at her. "The struggles and the hate will continue, I cannot tell you otherwise. But even the smallest action can make a difference, and I think it is the cumulative difference that matters. Optimism is rarely entirely misplaced."

"You think so?" He seemed genuinely sure, and it gladdened her a bit. "But do you think there are heroes, people who can make a really big difference?"

"Of course there are." Kurt smiled. "When the world is ready for a big change, anyone can be one of those heroes, and after all, most movements need a leader. Look at Martin Luther King."

"Oh, I see. He really did advance civil rights... and the world is still changing, even after his death. At the end of every great saga, the hero dies," she added thoughtfully - her tone did not suggest hopelessness even though the words came out crudely. "Did you know my generation is supposed to be less racist than any previous? But, we have other problems. I think we're going to need heroes."

"Real, lasting change takes time, of course", he told her. "But the heroes are the ones to start it. Perhaps one of your generation of young mutants will be our Dr King - or better, our Rosa Parks, who did not even have to die to be a spark. The world will realise, sooner or later, that mutants are going nowhere, and then acceptance will have to follow. Not that there will not still be opposition, as there are still racist groups now, but... less."

"Hmm." Megan nodded, feeling that maybe it wasn't so silly and childish to be a peace-loving idealist like she was. "Yeah. I sure do get stirred up lately. I just hope that... somehow, I can make a small difference for mutants."

"Small differences can be made all the time", he said with a nod. "You only have to seek out the chances, and I think you are already doing that."

"I hope so. I... I don't want to just get a regular job next year. But my art isn't good enough to express my ideas about mutants and racism. On my own I can't do anything... but I guess even one small mutant can do something if she looks for the opportunities, like you said." She smiled, genuinely feeling a lot better.

"Have you thought about art college?" Kurt suggested. "There is always help available with applications and scholarships, if you want it."

"Actually I haven't thought about college much." She scratched her pink hair anxiously with her black nails. "I'm not sure if I'm the college-type. But, if it would help me get better at whatever I'm trying to do..."

"Only if you are interested in art as a serious pursuit", he said with a shrug. "You are very young yet, there is plenty of time to decide what you want to do."

"Yeah, I don't know." She shrugged too. "Maybe I should just take a year off after I graduate and... something. Oh well, I wasn't trying to make you give me an advising session! I'm just glad to talk to you."

"That is what we are here for", he assured her with a smile. "I am always glad to talk to you too."

"Thanks Mr. S! Well, I better go and finish my homework for tomorrow," she said, straightening up from her slouch in the comfortable chair.

"Good luck." He grinned. "And do not stay up too late."

"I'll try not to," she replied with a smile. But she did need to switch up the music on her mp3 player for a while. She picked up the device from the desk and quickly scrolled down to another track before exiting the office.

"Bye!"

Just outside the door, the dancy, post-punk strains of native New York band the Yeah Yeah Yeahs could briefly be heard before Megan disappeared down the hallway.