[Logan, Marie] Down to flesh and bone.

[x-rogue.livejournal.com]

It's never as easy as it looks, being immortal. Thursday afternoon, Marie waits for Logan to surface from the sedation Madelyn's experimented with to help speed the healing process. There's no such thing as business as usual or no harm done in this business. Even after the tears are dried and the flesh healed over the bone, the damage hides in things as small as the smell of antiseptic or the touch of a hand on a doorknob and the flashbacks catch up. Everyone's scarred somewhere; somewhere, everyone's scared.


Logan was feeling no pain. Which was strange, because something in his very bleary mind told him that he should be screaming with pain. He pushed his eyes open, blinking slowly, waiting for the room to come into focus.

Marie was curled up on a chair near his bed, dressed in her old comfort clothes and one of his flannel shirts. Madelyn had run her off to shower and change and she'd done so, then sat on his side of the bed and cried until her head hurt and she worried, uselessly, that he might wake up while she was gone. She'd dried her eyes and washed her face again, dressed, and run back down stairs. She hadn't taken her eyes off of him since she'd gotten back. When he opened his eyes, she was watching, and reached out to touch his arm where the flesh was whole enough that it wouldn't hurt him.

"Hi," she said softly, to get his attention.

"Hey," he croaked, his head turning slowly in her direction. His healing factor had been otherwise occupied and his voice box hadn't quite recovered from the damage he'd done to it while in the apartment building.

Marie got to her feet to lean over him, touching his cheek with one very shaky hand and tears spilled down her face without her even being aware of them. "How are you? Do you want some water?"

Logan turned his face into her hand. He could feel her hand on his cheek. That meant he had a cheek again. "Nah. 'm okay."

"That's good." Marie kissed his forehead. "I'm glad you're okay." He was a disaster, to be honest, but the healing was progressing well enough. He looked like himself again. Now she just had to pull herself together and start acting like he was okay. "Does Maddy have the dose on those painkillers up high enough?"

So /that's/ what was going on. Painkillers. She must've had them on a pretty heavy drip for them to be working, he thought. "Yeah. Think so."

"Good. She'll want to know." For next time. She left that part unsaid.

He blinked up at the IV bag and decided not to be cranky about it. For once. "Y'okay?"

Marie realized that she was crying and wiped her cheeks hastily with one gloved hand. "Yeah, I'm fine. Sore throat, but no harm done, right?" She straightened up and pulled a smile out of somewhere for him.

Painkillers were wonderful. It was, he thought, the first time they'd worked on him. He wondered vaguely if he could get some for Marie, to make her feel better, too. "Smoke?"

"Yeah. But I'm okay now. Really. As long as you're fine, I am, remember?"

Logan nodded groggily, but was pretty sure he didn't agree with her assessment of her own condition. She'd been crying. "...why were y'crying?"

"Just a little worried about you, that's all," Marie said quietly. "You didn't exactly say where you what you were doing. And you didn't look so good when I found you."

Logan's mind flashed on the image of his adamantium-coated bones showing through his muscles. Muscles with no skin over them, he remembered. "Oh."

"Yeah." Her smile was sad. "Oh." She stroked his face again, thin white gloves soft on his new skin.

"'m sorry." He rubbed his cheek against her hand. "Didn't think it was gonna be that bad."

"I hope not." Marie didn't manage to keep her voice steady, her stomach was twisting too hard. She inhaled slowly, smoothing things out. "But you're going to be be fine."

He nodded again. "I am. 're you?" He gave her a concerned look, noting her slow breath and her unsteady tone.

"Do I have a choice?" Marie shook her head. "I will be. Business as usual."

Logan wondered if, when he'd been inside the building, something had happened to her to make this worse than just his burns. Then he remembered /she'd/ been in a fire not all that long ago. "Don't do that," he croaked. "Y'/don't/ always hafta be okay. There's no crisis t'stop you from not bein' okay for a while."

"They don't like fire," she said quietly. "They get very distressed. Flashbacks. Mine are easier, really. And you... your bones were so hot in some places your flesh wouldn't heal over it. I... they remember what it feels like, to burn." She was painfully composed, as though she were teaching a class, half-sitting behind him with her hands in her lap.

"Shouldna asked you t'come get me. 'm sorry." There wasn't anything he could do about her seeing the building afire, that was a team call, but seeing /him/, that he could've prevented, at least for a while.

"You should have told me where you were going." Marie's composure gave way and her voice broke. "And... that you'd be okay... " Her hands twisted in her lap, she bit her lip to keep from crying, feeling stupid for being upset at all.

"Told you t'meet me on the roof. 'Course I was gonna be okay." She hadn't thought he was going to...oh. Fuck. "'m sorry. I didn't think you'd think..."

"Didn't think I'd think what?" Marie got up and paced the little room, feeling claustrophobic. The smells were upsetting her and Angelo alike. He was still strong enough to have a voice, especially where burns and the medlab were concerned. "That you were going to take chances like that? That you'd maybe tell me at least what floor of the burning building you were going to and why if you were going into one? That something like that could kill you? Didn't think what? That maybe I needed some warning before I had to see you like that and know what kind of pain you must be in and be able to do nothing for you but wait to get you back here and hope something worked?" She leaned her forehead on the metal edge of the door frame, hands knotted in her hair, trying to stop the tears.

Logan rolled his head to the side to watch her. "It...didn't hurt that bad." Well, the burns hadn't, anyhow. "...'m sorry I didn't say anythin'."

"And of course, you're fine, and it's all in a day's work, and so no harm done, right?" She closed her eyes and pulled her walls back up again. "I'll get used to it."

"Stop that." His growl didn't sound quite right, with the raspy croaking of his voice, but his annoyance at the sudden distance in her voice was obvious.

"What am I supposed to do? Stop what? Coping?" Marie came back to his side and bent to kiss him on the forehead again. "Shhh. It's okay, I'll get over it. I do."

"I'll tell you where I'm goin', next time. An' why," he promised.

"Just get better," she said, not quite ready to believe that he'd remember next time. "We've got five hours in a minivan with two little boys tomorrow, remember?"

Logan groaned. "I do /now/."

Marie managed a real smile at that. "I love you so much," she said, nuzzling against his cheek.

"I love you, too." His voice had slowly gotten clearer throughout the conversation, but still wasn't quite right. He was, however, getting more than a bit antsy about being stuck in medlab. Nuzzling against her, he asked, "When c'n I get outta here?"

"Whenever Maddy decides she's done playing poke the mutant with you. You want me to get her and see if she won't let me take you home?" He healed so quickly. In the time they'd been speaking, he'd changed so much. Marie gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek.

"Yeah. I wanna get outta here. This place stinks." The sterile, medicinal smell of the medlab always made his skin crawl. The painkillers must have been dulling that sensation, before, but it was back in full force now.

Hearing him sound so like his usual self was like the sun coming out. "I'll be right back," she promised, then slipped out to find Madelyn.

Logan stared at the blank, white wall opposite him. The painkillers must have been wearing off, because his skin crawled. And itched. And his chest ached. And he desperately wanted to be out of this place.

Madelyn was efficient as she checked him over and declared him ready to leave. Marie stood by the door, a clean set of his clothes in her arms, waiting for the doctor to finish.

"Thanks for not sneaking out like some people do," Madelyn said as she finished.

"I said I was sorry," Marie said in a tone that wasn't sorry at all.

"Right." Madelyn shook her head at Marie. "Just for that I want you back here in the morning so I can check your breathing. Otherwise, I don't want to see either of you for at least a month, unless it's social. Thanks for your patience, Logan." She gave him a nod and closed the door behind her as she left.

Marie held out Logan's clothes to him. "Need help?"

Logan sat up, wincing a bit, and took the clothes from her outstretched hand. He sat them down beside him and pulled the hospital gown off his shoulders, letting the top half fall into his lap.

The t-shirt slid easily over his arms and head, but when he stood and let the gown fall to the floor, he found that he wasn't quite stable enough to get the sweatpants onto his legs. He ground his teeth and refused to look at Marie. "Please?"

She didn't say anything, just helped him finish dressing, her strength making it easy. Once he was dressed, most of his still-healing skin covered, she put her arms around him and kissed him. "We'll take the lift up," she said quietly.

He sighed and nodded. Being weak was not his favourite pastime and it made him more cranky than usual, but he tried not to take it out on her. It wasn't her fault he'd gotten White Knight Syndrome and had run into a burning building to save a stranger. "Okay."

Marie snuggled up to him as she helped him into the lift. "You have the most remarkable ability to piss me off and make me happy at the same time, you know," she said conversationally as she pushed the button for the third floor.

Logan tucked his face into her hair. He wasn't sure whether to apologise or not. "...oh?"

"I think I'll keep you, though," she assured him. "Preferably indefinitely. You scared the hell out of me today, Logan." She helped him out of the lift and they walked slowly to his room, with her keeping his slow pace. "I don't think I'll ever be able to see you like that and be okay. I don't know how I managed."

"I didn't think it'd be that bad. 'm sorry..." He leaned against the doorframe while he turned the knob and opened the door. The metal was cool against his palm and his stomach rolled.

Logan rushed into the room, leaving the door swinging open behind him, and crumpled into a heap in the bathroom. He kicked the door shut just as retching noises began to echo off the tiles.

Marie closed the door to his room behind her and refused to wait nicely outside the bathroom. She came in and soaked a cloth in cold water and knelt beside him to wipe his face, rubbing his back gently with her other hand, soothing. "It's okay," she said gently. "You're okay."

It only took a few seconds for him to empty his stomach again and slide into dry heaves. A few more seconds of dry heaving and Logan regained control of himself, taking slow, deep breaths. He spat a few times, then rested his forehead on the cool porcelain. "'m okay," he agreed.

Marie pulled him to her, resting her cheek on his hair. "I love you so much," she said softly. "You ready to go to bed yet, or you need to stay here a little longer?"

Logan shook his head a bit and flailed one arm, successfully flushing the toilet. "Bed. Let's go t'bed."

"Okay. I'll tuck you in and get you some water." Marie helped him to his feet and then into bed, ignoring any protest from him about doing any of it himself. She got him a glass of water and gave it to him before she kicked off her shoes and got into her side of the bed.

Logan drank the water quickly, washing away the awful taste in his mouth, and put the glass down on his bedside table. She'd gotten in on her side of the bed, but she didn't stay there long, as he pulled her over to him and snuggled up against her, his face tucked down against her shoulder.

Once they were settled, Marie pulled off her gloves and dropped them to the floor beside the bed so she could brush bare fingers over his skin. "More than anything, you know that?" she told him. "Still, more, and always." She tucked the blankets in around them both.

Her fingers were smooth and soft against his new skin and he shifted to offer more of himself up to her touch. "Always," he murmured quietly, his voice muffled by her shirt.