Kurt and Angel || In The Garden

[x-firestar.livejournal.com]

Kurt finds Angel having a slight brooding moment in the garden. It doesn't last long.



Angelica Jones was sitting out in the garden, turning a camera over in her hands. She'd come out here to take pictures and distract herself, but neither of those things seemed to be happening. Not that she didn't have a zillion and one pictures of the garden. But there was some...cathartic...about taking pictures of things she'd already photographed. Something peaceful.

And if there was one thing Angel needed, it was peace.

"Getting some fresh air?" an accented voice asked quietly from behind her. "It is so nice out here in this weather."

Angel looked over her shoulder, wincing a bit as she stretched her back, her eyes landing on Kurt. "Yeah, I've been trapped inside since we...ya know...got back." She fidgeted uncomfortably, raising her camera to focus on a random flower. She lowered it again without snapping a photo. "How are you?" She asked after a moment.

"About the same", he said with a shrug. "Though not for the same reasons, of course. A little hermiting, as my sister calls it."

"Hermiting," Angel repeated distantly, turning her camera over in her hands again. "Well, at least it was voluntarily." For some reason, the word "voluntarily" stirred something in her memory - an image of a small, red-haired child being dragged into a room - and she cringed, squeezing her eyes shut, shaking her head a bit. "Hey...Kurt? Can I ask you a question? It's kind of personal, so if you don't want to answer I understand, but...can I ask anyways?"

"Of course." He moved forward, still limping a little more than usual on his damaged leg, and settled on the grass beside her. "We shall see if I can answer."

Angel fidgeted again, focusing on a particular blade of grass as she struggled to put her question into words. It was going to sound so stupid... "Do you...I mean...what do you think about fate? Do you think it's real?"

"...ah." He considered the question for several moments, trying to choose his words. "I think there is something that guides our actions. Personally I believe it is God, but others might call it fate."

Angel nodded slowly, reaching out for the blade of grass and plucking it from the ground, twisting it in her fingers. "I don't know what I call it," she said after a minute. "But it...kind of sucks, you know? I mean, what sick cosmic force decided that I was going to be in the same area as a kid who happens to, on that day, manifest, and his power just happens to be that he can create fire? Who decided that I was going to be there to stop him, and I would have to come back to the US just in time to get caught up in a war? I wasn't supposed to be here...I'm supposed to be in England right now. Who or what decided it was a good idea for me to be here instead?"

Kurt nodded slowly and reached over to squeeze her hand. "Nothing we can control, I am afraid. I am so sorry you were dragged into this... but Angel, remember that if you had not been, they might have taken you from England instead, with no chance to fight."

Angel nodded a bit, returning Kurt's squeezing of her hand and running her free hand through her hair before she spoke again. "I know. I'm sorry, I'm being-" Silly. Whiny. Irrational. Of all these things she was well aware. But thinking back to the hell they'd just gone through...they'd probably all earned a chance to be a little irrational. Then again, maybe she still hadn't earned that right. Compared to everyone else, she'd gotten off fairly easy... "I don't really know what I'm being. I'm having a hard time thinking right now. Blaming the pain medication the docs have

had me on."

"You do not need to apologise to me", he said quietly. "Or to anyone, not for anything you have done or not done. You were there by your own choice and that means a great deal."

Wetness in her eyes. That was not good. Angel did her best to discreetly run the back of her hand across her eyes - she was pretty sure she failed. "Ugh," she groaned after a second, shaking her head. "You know, sometimes I think we have to be insane to do the things we do."

"Probably", he agreed wryly. "But then, we live in an insane world where sometimes such things are necessary."

Angel smiled a bit - a small smile, but a smile nonetheless. "Ever wondered what we would do if all the crazy went away? Personally, I don't think we'd know what to do with ourselves."

"My life has been unusual since the day I was born." He returned the slight smile. "I certainly would not."

Angel giggled a little at that. "Fair enough." She pressed her lips together for a moment before asking, "It's going to get better, right? I mean, everyone is still recovering, and it's hard, but...it's going to get better. Right?"

"...almost everyone came home alive", he said quietly. "It can only get better from there, with time and help."

Almost everyone. The words made Angel cringe a bit, and for a moment she turned her attention to the camera sitting in her lap. Time and help. "I want to help," she said after a moment, looking up again. "I just...don't really know how."

"Be here", was the instant response. "Listen if people want to talk, distract if they do not, just... be here. And do not forget that you are a survivor too, do not neglect your own needs."

Be here. Listen. Distract. All things Angel was very good at. She took a deep breath, straightening up a bit and ignoring her back when it protested. She'd been in the same position for far too long. "I can do that," she said after a moment, the ghost of a smile playing on her lips. "Thanks, Kurt. Anything deep and meaningful you want to talk about? Or even simple and trivial?"

He laughed quietly. "I think simple and trivial sounds very good just at the moment."

"Simple and trivial it is," Angel agreed with a smile, casting her mind for a moment to think of a trivial topic. Finally she snapped her fingers, victorious. "I know what we can do if the world ever stops being crazy - we can revisit that starting a circus idea I had way back when. It'd be perfect."

"A real circus?" He raised his eyebrows. "If you really want to do that, as a career, there are a few people I should introduce you to."

"Ooooh, could you?" Angel asked, unable to keep a bit of humor from slipping into her voice. This was so much better than thinking about... "It probably helps to know someone in the biz for something like this. Or someone who was in the biz, at least."

"The family circus is not much of one anymore, most of the performers moved on since their star attraction left to save the world, but I still know where to find them. And I know a fair amount about the business side myself."

"Awesome. I could make this work." Angel paused for a moment before adding, "Of course, I'd probably gorge myself on all the sugary circus food and get too fat to do anything..."

"Trapeze work is very good exercise", he advised her. "Also eating the food you are meant to sell is not good business practice, for a start."

"Yeah, probably not," Angel agreed with a slight frown. "I'd have to hire someone just to keep me away from the food. Of course, I'd have to hire someone not from here, because most of the people I know here would eat all the food without a second thought."

He laughed more genuinely at that. "Most of the people here are teenagers. Or Wade, who apparently really does have a mutant metabolism."

"Teenagers and Wade," Angel repeated with a suppressed smile. "Yup, definitely going to have to go outside the mansion for this one. Wade would probably eat the food faster than me. And still not get fat, which is totally unfair."

"At least you know you will have a whole world of choice."

"True. Can you imagine how that would like on a want ad? 'Wanted: Someone to stop the boss from eating all the food.' I can't imagine what kind of applicants I would get."

"Perhaps it would be best to advertise another job", he suggested, "and then add that to their duties when you have got to know them."

"I could advertise for a personal assistant!" Angel concluded triumphantly. "I've always wanted a personal assistant. Don't really need one, but I want one."

"I have every faith that one day, you will need one." He grinned.

Angel returned the grin brightly. "Hold that face," she ordered, raising her camera and focusing it on Kurt. She didn't need any more photos of flowers. But one could never have enough pics of smiling friends.