xp_logs | Sooraya & Yvette: Checking in (backdated)

Sooraya goes to check upon her friend in the woods.

Sooraya hesitantly made her way through the forest, a special kind of bowl to keep food warm filled with pasta with meat and vegetables in a creamy sauce and a small basket of apples in her other hand. She was not exactly sure where her friend was, but she knew various favorite spots and was checking them one by one. "Yvette?" She called out softly.

There was a rustle in some bushes off to Sooraya's left and then two glowing blue eyes appeared, oddly shadowed. "Oh!" came Yvette's voice and then the girl herself appeared, her body and head all spikes and hard edges, the battle form she'd been 'gifted' with in Genosha. "Just let me change," she continued, sounding a little embarrassed. "I was practicing."

"That is fine, Yvette." Sooraya turned her gaze away from Yvette, wanting to give her friend the chance to work in private and busied herself with setting out the food and digging out two old spoons she had found. The handles she had wrapped in a bit of the special cloth Yvette's clothes and bedding were made from. "I brought you some food, if you'd like."

Yvette's skin rippled as it smoothed out, until she looked mostly like her old self - the bald head being the major difference. "Food? Oh, thank you! I was getting hungry." Yvette came to perch on one side of the fallen log Sooraya was using as a 'table'. "I should have known you would be feeding the people," she teased gently. "I just did not think it would be me."

She smiled a little at Yvette's teasing, but her eyes remained shadowed. "Why would I not feed you? You are my friend and I was worried about you." She held out the bowl, also wrapped in a piece of cloth and one of the spoons. "The pasta should still be hot."

"More I am not usually the person who forgets to eat," Yvette clarified. She fumbled a little with the spoon, still getting used to normal-length fingers, but took the bowl readily enough. "Thank you," she repeated, having a taste. "It is very good."

"I know. But I figured you were a little... uneasy about coming into the mansion, so I figured I'd take it out to you. And it's nice being outside." Sooraya took one of the apples and held it up. "Would you mind if I..."

"It is getting better, but yes, I am still a little nervous of 'going all spiky' as they say, if I am startled. I am so very much <I>more</I> spiky now. But I am also so very much less, when I am focusing, so there is the benefit also." Yvette paused in between bites of pasta to nod at Sooraya's apple. "Please, go ahead. I always like to share."

With a crunch Sooraya bit into the apple and chewed. "Do you have everything else you need out here?" She asked after swallowing. "I know the nights can still be pretty chilly." Worry still clearly colored her voice.

"My powers do not let me feel the cold much," Yvette explained with a reassuring smile. "And I do not think I will need to stay out here at night for much longer. But enough of me... how are you? You look..." Yvette trailed off, unsure of what adjective to use. "Not happy?" she settled for at last.

Sooraya stared at the ground. "I am not really happy at the moment." She confessed. "What happened in Genosha... I need some time to deal with all of it..."

Yvette frowned, setting her spoon down in the bowl. Of course, she had not been the only one to have gone through things on that horrible island. "What happened?" she asked softly.

Sooraya sighed and once more stared at her lap. She had not talked with anyone about what had happened on the roof since Angelo had comforted her. She had not wanted too... "It's just... it's not as bad as what happened to many others... Like what happened to Rachel... Or to you and the others... I can deal with it."

"It is not the competition, Sooraya," Yvette said gently. "And we are all dealing with the things, some of us in different ways to others. But please do not think your pain is not important because there are others who are hurt more." She hadn't known Rachel so well, too afraid to get close to the toddler when she'd been at the school for fear of injuring her by accident, but she could mourn the death of an innocent and see how it hurt her friends. "If it would help you to talk, I am the good listener, yes?"

"It's just not that..." Sooraya sighed and met Yvette's eyes. Yvette knew about her fears... She was safe... "During a fight... on the rooftop of the broadcasting station... We were attacked by Magistrates..." She had to swallow a few times. "Two of them attacked Maddy. She was powerless, but had gotten her hand on a gun. It still didn't help. I managed to fight them off, but..." The words that has suddenly seemed to rush forward stopped just as suddenly.

She lowered her eyes again to the ground. "I killed him, Yvette... I didn't mean to, but something went wrong and I killed him..."

"Oh, Sooraya." Yvette's voice was filled with sympathetic pain. Of all the people to have been forced into that position. "I am so sorry that happened to you, Sooraya. Taking a life... I cannot imagine how you feel." Except, somewhere in the darkest recesses of her mind, something told her that she did. "I know you will have heard this already, but it was the self-defense. You tried your best to stop them without hurting them, I am sure, but sometimes in the time of war, things happen we cannot control fully." She reached over and patted her roomie's hand. "But that does not help the guilt, does it?"

Sooraya shook her head. "No, it doesn't. I mean, I am... glad... to know that Maddy was safe... And... relieved that... she does not have to carry the burden of taking a life... But it doesn't help the guilt... His blood is still on my hands." She quickly wiped at her eyes and took a few deep breaths, lashing her emotions firmly back into place.

"You feel guilty because you are not a monster, Sooraya. Only the psychopath feels nothing about taking a life," said Yvette in her soft tones. "And only time will make the pain hurt less. But do not think you must hide your feelings away. You will only make yourself hurt more." She smiled a little ruefully. "Take it from someone who cannot hide her feelings even when she tries. Stupid powers."

"I know it's 'normal' to feel this way... But it's so much together... If I let it overwhelm me..."

"If you cannot cope, then ask for the help. The Professor said on the journals there are people who can help with this sort of pain. And you have your friends. We will help you, when you are feeling too overwhelmed by it all." Yvette reached out to her friend again, this time laying a hand on her shoulder. "We will help, if it is the listening ear or the distraction or anything else you are needing."

She had to blink furiously a few times to keep the tears from falling. "Thanks Yvette... I will keep it in mind, but I need a little more time on my own. I promise I will go for help if I need it..." But not now... not when there were still so many people who needed it more then her...

"When you need it," Yvette replied, mock-sternly. "But I do understand the need to have the alone time. That is all I have taken since we have returned." It helped, not having the burden of being careful around others while she was working things out.

"When I need it..." Sooraya repeated softly. "I will... But for now I can manage on my own... I need to figure out some things..." Like how she was even gonna follow the tenets of her faith with what was going on inside her...

"I think we all have the things to figure out," was Yvette's quiet response.