Doug and Meggan (Backdated)
Jun. 6th, 2012 12:50 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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xp_logsAfter staying with Korvus until the evening, Meggan—concerned about what happened on the astral plane—goes to see Doug.
Because Meggan had wanted to speak with Doug herself after the astral plane and Moreau, she had made her way over to the Brownstone. She wanted any talks to be face-to-face, and not a computer or texting, because after all of the stuff was said and done, she felt like she needed to see him. Even if he might be busy. All those intricately wound up knots and patterns and downward spirals had thoroughly frightened her, and she wanted to know if he was actually...she didn't know what. She doubted incredible, maybe...reasonably okay.
Well, she’d made her way over once she’d left Korvus’ room after several hours of napping, and obtaining a new set of car keys, old ones having gone the way of Genoshan teleporting. So she wouldn’t have to hotwire her own (happily untowed) car.
Gently rapping at Doug’s door, she waited.
Being 'home' for Doug was a conflict of its own. His apartment felt too large, like he was rattling around in a space much too big for just him. Too lonely, too full of memories tinged by loss. He was back to sleeping on his couch, even though the bed in the bedroom wasn't Marie-Ange's heavy four-poster. This time it was the ghostly absence of Jubilee he still hadn't gotten used to, though it blended heavily with all the memories of when Marie-Ange had left. And he was back to shopping for just himself, which gave him both the freedom to get whatever he wanted and the obscure pain of seeing things he would have previously put in the cart to bring him to Jubilee or Marie-Ange.
The gentle knock shook him from his reverie, and he got up and went to the door and checked his peephole. He opened the door, a bit confused by who was there. "Hi, Meggan. Are you looking for Amanda?"
Meggan shook her head. “Hi. No, not right now. I was looking for you…I guess I just needed to see how you were. After…everything.” Everything encompassed Genosha, the astral plane, and things she knew she’d probably never be told about. She didn’t know if that was too personal a thing to ask. If it was, and he locked her out without answering, she’d likely as not just sit in the hall for a while until he told her to go away at this point. It was mainly the concern, she knew.
Doug was too polite to lock her out of his apartment. Even if he might have wanted to, because he just wanted to avoid the subject of what had happened in Genosha entirely. "Come on in," he said wearily.
"Tea?" he asked as he headed toward the kitchen. If she was at all like her big sister, it was a rhetorical question, but he didn't know for sure.
“Yes, please,” Meggan accepted as she walked in. She didn’t drink tea all that often, but it wasn’t a bad drink so long as all the cream wasn’t poured into it. Him sounding so tired didn’t surprise her…she’d passed out for several hours against Korvus after everything, partially jet lagged, partially exhausted. But something was still off about him, even if he wasn’t behaving the way he had done on the astral plane. The hair was different, too, she noticed upon a second look.
Making tea at least gave Doug something to do with his hands for a while. Those kinds of routine-ish tasks, complex enough to take attention and brainpower, seemed to be the best things for keeping him going and not just sitting staring off at a wall since his return. "How's Korvus?" he asked. Classic Doug - deflect, change the subject to other people, anything to avoid having to talk about himself. Especially at a time like this.
Meggan would not be telling Doug where the guard had struck Korvus in the lower regions, or how the slang had made him laugh, that would kill all conversation stone dead. She didn’t want that. She recognized Doug was deflecting, but she let him for that second. No calling him on it until she had the tea. “Tired. Bruises everywhere, and a broken, swollen nose.” At this point, she was primarily just grateful that he had made it out of Genosha alive. “I…didn’t go until we were both awake.” She had promised him she wouldn’t.
"Understandable." Doug remembered the need to ensure that a loved one was physically there after a particularly difficult set of events. He just didn't have a loved one to roll over and reach for anymore. "Broken noses are no fun. I need to stop getting mine broken," he observed with a wry smile. "Reconstruction surgery only goes so far."
“Yeah, I can imagine. Ow,” Meggan replied with a sympathetic wince. She already knew they weren’t anywhere approaching fun, she’d seen plenty of them before…and heard the painful sounding whistling from Korvus’ injured one, even through a haze of sleepiness. But she’d never considered the surgery aspect for a nose that wasn’t squished beyond broken. She didn’t really want to ask how many surgeries Doug had ended up needing.
"Sooner or later you just wind up with an unrecognizeable blob of cartilage on the front of your face." Doug would stall and keep the subject away from whatever Meggan seemed to be driving towards for as long as he absolutely possibly could. If he was a worse person, he would have just shut the door in her face, or chased her off, or... But he couldn't do that to someone he'd seen grow up, any more than he could have done it to Artie or Leech.
“Unless it’s fiddled with back into shape—but not to where it’s become all…suctioned and floppy,” Meggan understood, after a moment’s hesitation. This was not a nice train of thought to follow. Instead, she was briefly thinking of star noses gone amok, really tiny or just plain starting to fall off. Unless it was someone’s power, noses just did not need to fall off. Doug could steer things away into tangents as much as he liked, but she’d get it back once tea was had.
Finally the tea was ready, and Doug couldn't avoid her anymore. Once they both had mugs in hand, he looked at Meggan, silently waiting for her to talk. It wasn't like he was going to be the one to initiate anything.
She didn’t want the silence to grow uncomfortable for either of them, even if he was going to be steering her one way or another, or just trying to tell her everything was fine. “I came because I was worried,” Meggan finally said after a moment of swirling her tea gently in the cup. Just in case he was going to deflect to another worry possibility in light of what everyone had been through, she added, “About you.” He’d been so low, and even if he’d come back from that black hole, she couldn’t just pretend she hadn’t seen it. “You were hurting so much, back there,” she explained, almost helplessly.
It wasn't just 'back there'. Doug was still hurting. It felt like everything was painful - like every 'nerve ending' in his emotions was raw and exposed. But there was a Catch-22 in it, the feelings and pain inside kept him isolated, unable to feel like he could reach out to anyone. Like his darker emotions had built a wall that he couldn't get around. "I appreciate your being concerned," he said quietly.
Back there, out on the astral plane, it had been so much more apparent, because he’d just…stopped. Everything. While cocooned in all the darkest of sad emotions. Meggan felt like she should have been able to find a metaphysical hacksaw or lawn mower or something out there for the intricate black patterns of despair, even if he’d still be sad. She didn’t like to see him suffering there, and really didn’t want him to feel that way here. She had almost expected him to lie to her to get her to leave. “Not just concerned. Scared for you. Massively,” she answered seriously.
Sometimes human contact took the edge off the worst of the worst for a fleeing moment…but she didn’t think he’d be willing to handle her tightly squeezing him in a hug, and so went back to holding the tea with both hands. Putting a halt to the unthinking, almost instinctive movement she’d been in the process of making. She’d also remembered there could be physical pain for him right now, like Korvus had, which would just lead to awkwardness here.
There didn't need to be a hug to lead to awkwardness. Doug's first instinct was to protest that he was doing fine. Except Meggan would almost certainly know that for the lie it was. "Scared?" he asked, encouraging her to elaborate. Of course, that was also classic Doug -keep the other person talking.
Meggan knew he was turning this into a little session of dodge the question like it’s a bullet, trying to make things keep on circling around eternally. “Because of just how…intensely terrible you felt through the link.” Overwhelmed and brain in some kind of shut down mode, to where he’d genuinely seemed like he was just going to roll over and never come back. Her astral form had reflected it with that migrating burnt toast texture, and she just knew the emotions involved would only hurt. For all she knew, a thousand times more than the overflow she received--could be bigger, could be smaller. So she had simply had a need to see him, find out if she could do anything, if there was anything to do for him.
Calling his emotions terrible might be an insult, though, and she didn’t want to cause brick walls to be thrown up. “Sickly sad,” Meggan amended with a simple shake of her head. Then, and now to a lesser degree, even if he wasn’t growing doom-filled astral foliage replicas over his body. She knew it was still there, but wasn't certain what she could say.
Doug honestly didn't know what to tell her. Mostly because he couldn't lie to her. Or wouldn't. Both, really. She'd spot a lie in him, almost certainly, but he also refused to do that to her. It was just that he wanted everyone to stop quizzing him about it and just let him lick his wounds in peace. He ran a hand over his very closely cropped hair and sighed. "What do you want?" he asked. "Or...are hoping for. Or whatever."
While Meggan wasn’t certain of what she was specifically hoping to hear, but she knew it wasn’t her place to ask what exactly had caused all this. She wanted to see him smile again because something funny had happened, but not the putting on a show sort of false smile. A real smile, a happy smile, but only if he felt okay. She didn’t want to put any pressure on him to instantly feel better, but she didn’t want him to implode from holding it all inside if it was really bad. “For you to someday feel better," she said after a moment more of considering that.
"For you not to be by yourself, if you’re hurting? I guess that…if it gets to be too much pain swirling inside, send up a warning flare of some kind? I don’t know.” Maybe underneath it all, she just really missed the Doug who used to eat cereal with her, and explain cartoons when things were so much simpler for her. So much stuff had happened since then.
"I'll...try." That was about the best Doug could offer her. He wasn't sure if any of that was even possible. Especially considering how alone he tended to feel even with people around.
Because Meggan had wanted to speak with Doug herself after the astral plane and Moreau, she had made her way over to the Brownstone. She wanted any talks to be face-to-face, and not a computer or texting, because after all of the stuff was said and done, she felt like she needed to see him. Even if he might be busy. All those intricately wound up knots and patterns and downward spirals had thoroughly frightened her, and she wanted to know if he was actually...she didn't know what. She doubted incredible, maybe...reasonably okay.
Well, she’d made her way over once she’d left Korvus’ room after several hours of napping, and obtaining a new set of car keys, old ones having gone the way of Genoshan teleporting. So she wouldn’t have to hotwire her own (happily untowed) car.
Gently rapping at Doug’s door, she waited.
Being 'home' for Doug was a conflict of its own. His apartment felt too large, like he was rattling around in a space much too big for just him. Too lonely, too full of memories tinged by loss. He was back to sleeping on his couch, even though the bed in the bedroom wasn't Marie-Ange's heavy four-poster. This time it was the ghostly absence of Jubilee he still hadn't gotten used to, though it blended heavily with all the memories of when Marie-Ange had left. And he was back to shopping for just himself, which gave him both the freedom to get whatever he wanted and the obscure pain of seeing things he would have previously put in the cart to bring him to Jubilee or Marie-Ange.
The gentle knock shook him from his reverie, and he got up and went to the door and checked his peephole. He opened the door, a bit confused by who was there. "Hi, Meggan. Are you looking for Amanda?"
Meggan shook her head. “Hi. No, not right now. I was looking for you…I guess I just needed to see how you were. After…everything.” Everything encompassed Genosha, the astral plane, and things she knew she’d probably never be told about. She didn’t know if that was too personal a thing to ask. If it was, and he locked her out without answering, she’d likely as not just sit in the hall for a while until he told her to go away at this point. It was mainly the concern, she knew.
Doug was too polite to lock her out of his apartment. Even if he might have wanted to, because he just wanted to avoid the subject of what had happened in Genosha entirely. "Come on in," he said wearily.
"Tea?" he asked as he headed toward the kitchen. If she was at all like her big sister, it was a rhetorical question, but he didn't know for sure.
“Yes, please,” Meggan accepted as she walked in. She didn’t drink tea all that often, but it wasn’t a bad drink so long as all the cream wasn’t poured into it. Him sounding so tired didn’t surprise her…she’d passed out for several hours against Korvus after everything, partially jet lagged, partially exhausted. But something was still off about him, even if he wasn’t behaving the way he had done on the astral plane. The hair was different, too, she noticed upon a second look.
Making tea at least gave Doug something to do with his hands for a while. Those kinds of routine-ish tasks, complex enough to take attention and brainpower, seemed to be the best things for keeping him going and not just sitting staring off at a wall since his return. "How's Korvus?" he asked. Classic Doug - deflect, change the subject to other people, anything to avoid having to talk about himself. Especially at a time like this.
Meggan would not be telling Doug where the guard had struck Korvus in the lower regions, or how the slang had made him laugh, that would kill all conversation stone dead. She didn’t want that. She recognized Doug was deflecting, but she let him for that second. No calling him on it until she had the tea. “Tired. Bruises everywhere, and a broken, swollen nose.” At this point, she was primarily just grateful that he had made it out of Genosha alive. “I…didn’t go until we were both awake.” She had promised him she wouldn’t.
"Understandable." Doug remembered the need to ensure that a loved one was physically there after a particularly difficult set of events. He just didn't have a loved one to roll over and reach for anymore. "Broken noses are no fun. I need to stop getting mine broken," he observed with a wry smile. "Reconstruction surgery only goes so far."
“Yeah, I can imagine. Ow,” Meggan replied with a sympathetic wince. She already knew they weren’t anywhere approaching fun, she’d seen plenty of them before…and heard the painful sounding whistling from Korvus’ injured one, even through a haze of sleepiness. But she’d never considered the surgery aspect for a nose that wasn’t squished beyond broken. She didn’t really want to ask how many surgeries Doug had ended up needing.
"Sooner or later you just wind up with an unrecognizeable blob of cartilage on the front of your face." Doug would stall and keep the subject away from whatever Meggan seemed to be driving towards for as long as he absolutely possibly could. If he was a worse person, he would have just shut the door in her face, or chased her off, or... But he couldn't do that to someone he'd seen grow up, any more than he could have done it to Artie or Leech.
“Unless it’s fiddled with back into shape—but not to where it’s become all…suctioned and floppy,” Meggan understood, after a moment’s hesitation. This was not a nice train of thought to follow. Instead, she was briefly thinking of star noses gone amok, really tiny or just plain starting to fall off. Unless it was someone’s power, noses just did not need to fall off. Doug could steer things away into tangents as much as he liked, but she’d get it back once tea was had.
Finally the tea was ready, and Doug couldn't avoid her anymore. Once they both had mugs in hand, he looked at Meggan, silently waiting for her to talk. It wasn't like he was going to be the one to initiate anything.
She didn’t want the silence to grow uncomfortable for either of them, even if he was going to be steering her one way or another, or just trying to tell her everything was fine. “I came because I was worried,” Meggan finally said after a moment of swirling her tea gently in the cup. Just in case he was going to deflect to another worry possibility in light of what everyone had been through, she added, “About you.” He’d been so low, and even if he’d come back from that black hole, she couldn’t just pretend she hadn’t seen it. “You were hurting so much, back there,” she explained, almost helplessly.
It wasn't just 'back there'. Doug was still hurting. It felt like everything was painful - like every 'nerve ending' in his emotions was raw and exposed. But there was a Catch-22 in it, the feelings and pain inside kept him isolated, unable to feel like he could reach out to anyone. Like his darker emotions had built a wall that he couldn't get around. "I appreciate your being concerned," he said quietly.
Back there, out on the astral plane, it had been so much more apparent, because he’d just…stopped. Everything. While cocooned in all the darkest of sad emotions. Meggan felt like she should have been able to find a metaphysical hacksaw or lawn mower or something out there for the intricate black patterns of despair, even if he’d still be sad. She didn’t like to see him suffering there, and really didn’t want him to feel that way here. She had almost expected him to lie to her to get her to leave. “Not just concerned. Scared for you. Massively,” she answered seriously.
Sometimes human contact took the edge off the worst of the worst for a fleeing moment…but she didn’t think he’d be willing to handle her tightly squeezing him in a hug, and so went back to holding the tea with both hands. Putting a halt to the unthinking, almost instinctive movement she’d been in the process of making. She’d also remembered there could be physical pain for him right now, like Korvus had, which would just lead to awkwardness here.
There didn't need to be a hug to lead to awkwardness. Doug's first instinct was to protest that he was doing fine. Except Meggan would almost certainly know that for the lie it was. "Scared?" he asked, encouraging her to elaborate. Of course, that was also classic Doug -keep the other person talking.
Meggan knew he was turning this into a little session of dodge the question like it’s a bullet, trying to make things keep on circling around eternally. “Because of just how…intensely terrible you felt through the link.” Overwhelmed and brain in some kind of shut down mode, to where he’d genuinely seemed like he was just going to roll over and never come back. Her astral form had reflected it with that migrating burnt toast texture, and she just knew the emotions involved would only hurt. For all she knew, a thousand times more than the overflow she received--could be bigger, could be smaller. So she had simply had a need to see him, find out if she could do anything, if there was anything to do for him.
Calling his emotions terrible might be an insult, though, and she didn’t want to cause brick walls to be thrown up. “Sickly sad,” Meggan amended with a simple shake of her head. Then, and now to a lesser degree, even if he wasn’t growing doom-filled astral foliage replicas over his body. She knew it was still there, but wasn't certain what she could say.
Doug honestly didn't know what to tell her. Mostly because he couldn't lie to her. Or wouldn't. Both, really. She'd spot a lie in him, almost certainly, but he also refused to do that to her. It was just that he wanted everyone to stop quizzing him about it and just let him lick his wounds in peace. He ran a hand over his very closely cropped hair and sighed. "What do you want?" he asked. "Or...are hoping for. Or whatever."
While Meggan wasn’t certain of what she was specifically hoping to hear, but she knew it wasn’t her place to ask what exactly had caused all this. She wanted to see him smile again because something funny had happened, but not the putting on a show sort of false smile. A real smile, a happy smile, but only if he felt okay. She didn’t want to put any pressure on him to instantly feel better, but she didn’t want him to implode from holding it all inside if it was really bad. “For you to someday feel better," she said after a moment more of considering that.
"For you not to be by yourself, if you’re hurting? I guess that…if it gets to be too much pain swirling inside, send up a warning flare of some kind? I don’t know.” Maybe underneath it all, she just really missed the Doug who used to eat cereal with her, and explain cartoons when things were so much simpler for her. So much stuff had happened since then.
"I'll...try." That was about the best Doug could offer her. He wasn't sure if any of that was even possible. Especially considering how alone he tended to feel even with people around.
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